03x01 - I'll Hold Another Banquet

[bunniefuu]

"I'll hold another
banquet. And another.

I'll hold banquet after banquet.

An eternal series of gatherings,
forever unchanging.

I may be lonely now,
but I won't despair.

Because everyone
is waiting for me

on the other side
of that promise."

Words spoken in
the long-distant past,

lost in the years that followed.

The original memory,
forgotten by everyone.

The original promise.

I'll see you soon.

Soon.

You said "girl."

You mean Akito is...

...a woman?

No, that can't be true, can it?

It's true.

I'm sure you've realized that
the Somas have many secrets.

That's the biggest of them all.

But I don't understand.

Akito behaves like a man.
Dresses like one.

And the way the others talk,

they don't ever treat
him like... a girl.

I never even guessed. Not once.

It's the way Akito
was brought up.

Raised as male from birth.

Someone else chose that for her.

Who do you mean?

She almost caught you that
time at the main estate.

Hatori! What are
you doing? Get away!

Must I tell you again?
Keep your hands off them.

It's fine. I promise.

She was just saying hello
to me, nothing more.

Exactly.

I was simply greeting
dear Hatori, here.

Is that so terribly wrong?

It's never a simple
greeting with you.

You're always leering
at the zodiac men.

I don't know why you're
here in the first place.

Go back to your room
where you belong!

She's sequestered.
Rarely leaves her quarters.

A troubled woman,
both mentally and physically.

But even so, she continues
to haunt Akito's mind.

Ren Soma. Akito's mother.

It was her doing.

She's the one who decided to
raise her daughter as male.

I don't know much.

Neither Akito nor Ren
will speak of it.

The only thing I can
say for certain is...

...those two hate each other.

Bitterly.

You really should
watch your mouth

around the zodiac
members, Akito.

If you're not careful,

they'll lose all affection
for you, family head.

Right, Hatori?
Poor dear. I feel sor--

He doesn't need your
pity--none of them do!

We have a bond you
could never understand.

We're connected in a world
you could never be a part of.

Are you still trying to convince
people that nonsense is true?

You little fool.

How many times do I have
to explain this to you?

That so-called bond may
make you feel something,

but it is not real love.

The "forever unchanging" story
you like to tell yourself

is exactly that: A fantasy.

A delusion.

So of course I pity the ones
who have to put up with it.

Akito!

If that's the case,

then maybe you would like
to tell me what is real.

It isn't a parent's love!
We all know that's not perfect.

Plenty of people
abandon their children,

including members
of the Soma family!

Just like you!
Ever think of that?!

You can't say what's
real or fake,

what's pretense or worship.

No one can define
those things. No one!

The bond that we share
is sacred, you hear me?

It's sacred! We will share
an eternity together!

I'll tell you what's real!

It does exist.
I have it... with Akira.

Unlike your zodiac bond,
our bond is real.

I'm going to k*ll you.
I swear, I'll k*ll you!

By all means, go ahead.

Because when I die,
my soul will go to Heaven.

Yes! I'll finally be
with Akira again.

I don't need you!

Akito.

You're a special child
born to be loved.

Everybody was waiting
just for you.

According to Ren,

the ties that bind Akito
and the zodiac are wrong.

She says they're unnatural.
That they're twisted and false.

And the connection isn't real.

So, she constantly clashes with
Akito, who clings to our bonds.

That day...

The morning after Ren conceived
Akito... I woke up in tears.

So did Shigure,
Hatori, and Ayame.

We eldest are the only zodiac
members who know the truth.

That Akito is female.

Apparently, Ritsu was
too young to sense

what had happened clearly.

But we four all had
the same dream.

Akito appeared,
the god we'd not yet met,

and gave us a message.

"I'll see you soon."

We ran straight to Ren,

who had no idea she was
carrying a child.

Tears on our faces,
we just kept saying...

..."We've been waiting for you."

It was so strange.

This feeling I didn't recognize

welled up from deep
within my heart,

and I sensed a me that
wasn't me, shouting.

It was... the zodiac spirit.

Another self. One living
inside me--in my veins.

At the first sign of
a new ego forming,

the zodiac blood begins to hound
us, compelling our loyalty.

They swore a solemn vow.

No matter how many
times they're reborn,

they will return to God's
side and never leave.

When my curse broke,
I could finally see the truth.

The bond that connected
us wasn't a natural one.

It's just like Ren said.

But... at the same time,
I could see something else.

A little girl... crying.

Akito, it's okay.

Calm down. It's okay.

This way, ma'am. Let's go.

Really, Akito.

Do you think a pathetic crybaby
like you can ever win?

We should leave.
Let's get you back to your room.

Why? I don't understand.

Why is she always... so mean?

She's cruel! Always.

Hatori! Hatori, give me a hug.

She's still the sobbing
child I can't abandon.

Even now.

And I can't see Arisa
while there's another

I've sworn to remain beside.

I'm sorry.

That's a lot.
And difficult to hear.

I guess... I hoped telling you

would help you
understand something.

The same Akito who wounds
others so easily

is herself deeply wounded.

Maybe now... you see
why I can't leave.

Even if part of me wants to.

I... I should say something.

I know I should...
find the right words.

But I can't. None will come out.

I'm sorry. All I ever do
is hurt other people.

But even so,
this is the path I chose.

My choice. My will.
No one else's.

I'm sorry.

And thank you... for everything.

I'm... frozen.

It's all... frozen.

A chain, a spiral of sorrows.

And everything's frozen.

I just didn't feel like
working today for some reason.

So I decided to go out
and get some fresh air.

I'm sorry. But I won't again.

Here I am to save the day.
Da-da-da-da.

Uh. What do you mean?

Just what I said:
Tohru is in my custody.

She'll be mine all night.

Um, Hanajima, your phrasing
there is a little sketchy.

Is that doubt I hear?

You dare object to my impromptu
Nightgown Festival?

Pretty sure the term you're
looking for is "pajama party."

No. I have no objections at all.

Excellent.
Then I bid you goodnight.

Uh.

It's not a problem,
but it is a little strange.

Could something have
happened to Miss Honda?

Who was that you
were just talking to?

It was Hanajima.

Miss Honda is staying the
night over there, apparently.

Oh.

I guess we'll be doing
takeout for dinner.

My goodness.

Was she really that shocked?

If she doesn't
bounce back quickly,

Saki might be quite
angry with me.

There's a terrifying
thought. Heh.

Or, hey.

Instead of ordering out,
maybe I could try cooking.

Do we have a cookbook
around here somewhere?

No, don't. Please. I'm scared.

It's okay.

I just lacked the proper
motivation before, I think.

And the skill!

Saki- chan , Saki- chan !

Do you know if Tohru- chan
has eaten dinner yet?

I can make something if you
tell me what she likes.

She enjoys shark fin.

You're only saying that because
it's what you want, aren't you?

That's not very nice,
Saki- chan !

Especially since you just ate.

I asked, Mom.
She says no dinner.

But I was thinking,
maybe hot tea?

Uh! You're absolutely right!

How rude of me! I'll go
brew some right up.

Megumi.

Go on. You know what to do.

I've got it.

Here we are. I've brought tea.

Oh. Great. Thank you.

Be careful, it's hot.

Right. Of course.

So, um. Hana- chan ?

How did you know I was there?

You were crying.

You were crying so loudly,
it drew me like a shout.

But in a voice only I can hear.

Something truly sad
happened, didn't it?

I, uh... It's just...

Hana- chan , I'm...
I'm so confused.

Unlike the others,
mine has broken.

You said "girl."
You mean Akito...

Ren Soma. Akito's mother.

I won't see her again.
I'll stay where I belong.

I... I was right.

It turns out... Uo- chan 's
Kureno... is Kureno Soma.

I wanted him to
go see her so badly.

I asked him to, but...
he said he can't.

He told me it's because there's
someone he has to stay with.

Someone who needs him.

He's a kind man. A caring man.

He isn't doing this
for his own sake.

He's putting someone else's
feelings before his own.

I... I couldn't say anything.

So many people have helped
me so many times.

But then, when it was my turn,
I couldn't do anything.

Why am I so useless?

Uo- chan . And Kureno.

Tohru.

Putting other people's feelings
ahead of your own...

...that's something
you do all the time.

I worry about what doing
that will do to you.

The thing is,

if you keep taking on people's
feelings, bearing their burdens,

the weight will grow
and grow and grow.

Until one day,
I fear that it will crush you.

Hey, look at this!

What do you think of
the new scarf I bought?

It even has pom-poms!

Buried beneath
other people's pain,

I worry you'd lose
what makes you you,

and your smile would disappear.

If it did... If that happened...

If that happened, it
would be the end of the world.

I invited an additional guest.

Man, I'm b*at.

You told me to hurry, so I ran
all the way here from work.

Did you hear us?

I heard.

Look at you,
crying because of me.

I'm total trash.

Please don't say that!
You're not trash!

Yeah, all right,
but if I can't say it,

you can't say you're useless.

Because I love you, you dummy.

You can stop worrying. I'm okay.

I really am, I mean it.

I was totally right, though.
Kureno is just like you.

You're the same kinda dumb.

I guess that must mean...
I've got a weakness for dummies.

I don't wanna make trouble
for people like the two of you.

So... that's the end.

Yeah, the end.

You got your heart
broken, Arisa?

You little brat!

Think before you speak, Megumi.

This is a delicate moment.

But some things
take time to find.

A long time, maybe.

Like a good friend.
Or a person to love.

So it wasn't all for nothing.

Of course it wasn't!

It never is. That's
my personal creed.

All right.

Shall we begin setting up for
the evening's festivities?

Can I help, Hana- chan ?

I find my heart
beginning to race

as I'm surrounded
by older women.

That line again, kid?

Hello, Isuzu. You naughty girl.

Skulking around like
a thief in the night.

Tell the truth.

You've been searching
very hard for something,

haven't you, dear?

I know all about it.

Would you like my help
with your little problem?

They're sound asleep.

Indeed.

Things have been rough,

but this gave Arisa a
small measure of closure

for her feelings, at least.

That may be what
she needed most.

Is it over, then?

Or could things still work out?

I don't know. Perhaps.

But as they say, that's a
story for another time.

Romance is pretty tough, huh?

Yes, it is.

The sun goes down,
but it always comes up again.

No matter how dark,
no night lasts forever.

So, I'll start again,
one step at a time.

Hi! I'm back from my sleepover!

Shigure?

It's quiet. Wonder
if he's still sleeping.

Well...

Hold on. A scarf?

Looks like the one I was
wearing yesterday, but...

How? Did I...?

Oh, hey, you're back.
So it is yours, then?

Good thing I made the
call to bring it home.

It was just lying all
crumpled in the street.

Uh, I--

I washed it, but not all
the stains came out.

If that bugs you,
buy another one.

What are you doing?
It isn't dry yet.

Uh. Told ya so.

Thank you so much, Kyo!

I'll be super careful.
I won't drop it again.

Sure. Whatever.

You stayed over at
Hanajima's last night?

That's right!
Uo- chan came, too.

We had a Nightgown Festival!

A what now?

We all had such a great time!

Morning. Did you have
fun at the party?

Yes, I did, thank you!

Tohru, hi!

Good morning, Shigure.

Please, say you'll never
spend the night away again.

Yuki cooked and it reminded me
just how much I appreciate you.

It was so weird, I don't
even know if it was bad.

Actually, I take that back.

It was terrible. I almost d*ed.

Maybe motivation
wasn't the problem.

Little by little,
One step at a time...

...I'll figure it all out.

Uo- chan ! Hana- chan !

Hey, what's up?

Walk with us, won't you?

The truths Kureno told me,

and the mysteries that remain.

"That's an unwavering truth."