03x11 - Goodbye

[bunniefuu]

I mean, I know, but still... Hm?

Tohru, we're taking you home.

That's sweet of you.
Thanks a lot.

Toh--

My feet,
they just started running,

taking me away from Kyo.

I don't understand.
This isn't right.

It's not what I planned.

When I saw him again,
what I meant to do...

...was smile.

Tohru... please wait.

I had a plan.

He got dumped, huh?

He got dumped.

I'm not gonna lie, that hurt.

I messed up.
I handled that all wrong.

I'd decided...
that since it was over,

since there was nothing
else I could do,

nothing else left to say...
no place for me...

...then at least...

If there's anything else
you think you might need,

just say the word.

Thank you. I should
be all right for now.

You're okay?

Of course I am.
Fit as a fiddle. Heh.

Listen, about Kyo...

He just--

Ah! Sorry, ignore me!

Your injury!

So, how are things
going back at home?

I bet the laundry has
really piled up, huh?

And the dust, too.

Oh! And what about the grocery
shopping? Toilet paper...

There's this pain in my chest.

I'm disappointed in you.

It hurts. So much.

Just hearing his name
is a Kn*fe to the heart.

I can't go on like this.

I need to move forward.
Find some way to get past it.

If I don't,
it will hurt everyone.

Even Kyo.

I can't do that. I can't.

Smile. Smile.

Smile!

I decided I'd smile
the next time I saw him.

I even practiced,
smiling over and over again.

But it was no use.

I told myself it was
okay, and that wasn't a lie.

Surely I would be fine,
even without him by my side.

I would smile and accept that
this is the way things are.

If I could just do that,
it would be all right.

But I wanna be with him.

I want it so badly.

It hurts. So much.

Wait. Stay back. Please.

Just for a bit.

It's no use.
I can't control them.

Please. One second.

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop crying!

I don't wanna upset him.

I don't want him to hate me.

I don't want him to be...

...even more disappointed in me.

Hey. I was completely
selfish, wasn't I?

I just confessed
all my own sins,

said everything I wanted to say,

and trampled all
over your feelings.

Then I ran, even though I know
that sometimes in this world,

you don't get the chance
to see someone again.

To say you're sorry.

I know that.

But... if I'm just going
to repeat history, well, then,

how's that any different
than knowing nothing at all?

- -Kyo.
- -I'm sorry,

for making you cry.

I'm sorry I hurt you so much.

This is the last time.
I'm fine with that.

I don't need another after this,

but will you please
give me one last chance?

What I want is to be with you.

If I'm going to keep living,
I wanna do it with you.

You and nobody else.

Because... I love you.

So... um...

Does that mean...
I'll stay by your side?

That we'll... be together?

You're saying I can be with you,

stay close to you
and hold your hand?

You know, you already are.

Even if it's been said dozens,

hundreds, thousands of times...

Even if the words are
a worn-out cliché...

...they're still true.

This really is... like a dream.

Kyo.

You may not remember,
but that was our second kiss.

Huh?! It was? But when...?

Yeah. Guess I
shouldn't be surprised.

You're gonna have to
remember it on your own.

If you don't,
then it won't count.

Okay.

You think I could... hold you?

I know as soon as I do,
I'll transform.

And sometimes... it'll be hard.

Being with me will mean
you'll have to deal

with this weird body of mine.

Kyo. Haven't you
figured it out yet?

It's okay.

Because I love you
no matter what.

I love you. I swear.

And that love...
it's invincible.

Oh. Huh.

Well, then, maybe
I'm invincible, too.

I mean, there's nothing
to be afraid of now.

Not if you're with me.

Goodbye.

I was jealous.

That was it. I resented you.

Compared to me,
you're so pure and pretty.

The thing is,
though, I'm really not.

Please, don't use
words like that

to separate people
into categories.

To keep everyone
at arm's length.

You think we're so different
because I'm pure and pretty,

but the truth is... so are you.

When you cried out, confessing
your loneliness and fear,

you were beautifully,
heartbreakingly pure.

I'm someone who's trying to
destroy the world you know,

the future you
always believed in.

And it doesn't matter whether
it's wrong or right.

The reasons behind it
don't change the fact

that I'm hurting you,
or lessen the pain.

But after all this, if you think
you could still bring yourself

to be friends with me,
then I'd like that.

Maybe... we could be friends.

I'd like that.

I'll say this much...

...you're persistent.

There will be time later, right?

For new meetings...
and new beginnings.

Once upon a time,

a certain person lived
high atop a mountain.

They had been alone for
many, many long years.

Though isolated at its summit,
they knew that many people

lived at the foot
of the mountain.

And yet, they still
remained alone.

They were separate, other.

They knew their incomparable
power, immeasurable life,

and boundless memory
made them different

from the people below.

In truth, they were
afraid of people.

Afraid of being judged,
of being hurt.

And they were afraid
of themselves

for having such great power,
and yet being so different.

Then one day, a Cat paid
a visit to the mountain.

They were bewildered
by the appearance

of this unexpected caller,

but the Cat bowed
its head respectfully,

and said, "I have been
observing you for some time.

You are a deeply
mysterious personage.

I cannot help but
feel drawn to you.

I am a mere stray cat,

but I pray you will allow
me to stay by your side.

Please, O God."

The Cat was faithful
to its words

and never left the person's
side, not even for a moment.

This made God very happy.

and from the Cat's companionship
was born an idea, a possibility.

"Perhaps," God thought.

"Those who are
also unlike humans

would be willing
to be my friends.

If they understand how I feel.

perhaps we could enjoy
a banquet together."

And so, God wrote many,
many invitations,

and sent them out
into the world.

In time, creatures arrived,
come to the mountain to see God.

Thus, it began.

God and the animals
held banquet after banquet,

gathering whenever
the moon shone.

They sang. They danced.

And God learned what it
was to laugh aloud.

The moon silently watched
over these banquets,

shared by those who are
different from others.

But then one night,
the Cat collapsed.

Its natural
lifespan was running out.

There was nothing to be done.

The animals began to cry.

And they realized,
it wasn't just the Cat.

Eventually, they would all die.
The banquets would end.

No matter how
joyous they'd been,

no matter how precious,
they would end.

But then, God chanted
the words of a spell,

and traced a circle
around a saké cup's rim.

Bringing the liquid to
the dying Cat's mouth,

God fed it a sip from the cup.

Then turning to
the others, said,

"Here and now, I make the
bonds between us eternal.

Even after we die,
we shall remain connected--

tied to one another.

No matter how many times
we die and are reborn,

our banquets will continue,
just like this.

We shall be eternal
and unchanging.

Friends forever,
as we were meant to be."

God's guests all nodded firmly,

and the Rat sipped
from the oath cup.

The Ox followed,

and then the Tiger, the Rabbit,
and the rest in order,

sealing their vow.

But as the final animal,
the Boar, finished drinking,

the Cat began to weep feebly.

"God, O God, why did you make
me drink from that cup?

I neither need,
nor want eternity."

Those softly spoken
words echoed loudly.

To God and the other animals,
they were a rejection.

Saddened by the Cat's
pronouncement,

they rebuked and admonished
their fellow guest.

Still, the Cat continued,

"God, O God, things must end.
We are mortal.

Let us accept these truths,

scary and lonely
though they are.

I count it a blessing to have
been with you for even a moment.

If we do meet again in the
cycle of death and rebirth,

I hope it is not
only by moonlight.

I would like to know what
your smile looks like

illuminated by the sun.

I would like to be there when
you smile not only among us,

but among humans, too."

With a final flick of its tail,

the Cat fell down and d*ed.

There it lay,
disregarded by the others,

who were preoccupied by
the perceived betrayal.

Some time later,
the other animals began to die,

one by one.

Eventually,
the Dragon's time came.

With its passing,
God was alone once more.

And then, at long last,
God's death came as well.

But, strengthened
by their promise,

and knowing this end would
lead to a new beginning,

God was unafraid.

"I'll hold another
banquet. And another.

I'll hold banquet after banquet,

an eternal series of gatherings,
forever unchanging.

I may be lonely now,
but I won't despair.

Because everyone
is waiting for me

on the other side
of that promise."

Words spoken in the
long-distant past,

lost in the years that followed.

The original memory,
forgotten by everyone.

The original promise.

I can let go now, right, Father?

It's okay to stop being
special, to stop being a god,

and just be me, isn't it?

To start a life
that's truly my own.

I... I'm...

I'm hurt. I'm scared.

I don't know who'll
love me now, but...

...goodbye.

Mine.

Mine!

Here, Boss. You need somethin'?

If you're thirsty,
I can bring more tea.

It'll be a while till
lunch is ready, though.

What is it, Boss?

Mine... I was
born to be with you.

To love you.

At last I can say it.

Goodbye, everyone.

What's wrong? Ritsu,
are you all right? Are you hurt?

It's hard and
lonely... saying goodbye.

They say that after
"goodbye" comes "hello,"

and that all new beginnings
come from endings.

Clichés can wait.

It's painful, isn't it?

Lonelier than you would think.

I don't wanna
hear them right now.

Cry with me, please.

There's nothing we can do.

It's over. So please,
just cry with me.

Sob with me. Scream with me.

Feel with me.

We lost what we had, and we're
left with no guarantees.

Cry with me, for the terror
of living in this new world.

Huh. So this
is what it feels like.

As we cling
to hope for tomorrow,

please, do this much:
Cry, and cry, and cry.

Like we did when we were
first born into the world.

Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

When did that
promise become a curse?

When did our fellowship
become a burden?

The days we spent together
were happy ones.

We didn't want them to end.

In the beginning, there
was love and comradery,

but time marched on.

People changed.

And happiness turned to sorrow.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Still... even after
the promise wore thin,

broke down and lost its shape,
you all carried it with you.

So, what I want to
say more than anything...

...is thank you.

Thank you.

Words spoken in the
long-distant past.

The original memory,
forgotten by everyone.

It would be many long years

before the Cat's plea,
fervent and honest,

was finally heard.

"You fought well."