08/15 (1954)

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08/15 (1954)

Post by bunniefuu »

08/15
PART 1: IN THE BARRACKS

Based on the book by
HANS-HELLMUT KIRST

Directed by
PAUL MAY

Everywhere and always the wall
symbolizes isolation.

Wherever there are walls,
they encircle a world

within a world.

They surround a state within a state,

a special order
within the normal order.

They do not separate good
from evil and joy from sorrow,

but people from people.

And therefore they should
never be insurmountable.

Battery, line up for assignment.

March, march, move your asses.

You don't want to? Watch out.

You'll be flat on your bellies.

Recruits! Move!

Word should have gone around by now...

When I say recruits,
that means you stand still...

like statues.

Recruits. Again, one doesn't get it!

Move!

Recruits!

Move!

Of course, once again,
Vierbein! Gunner Vierbein!

What's the matter with you?
Are you tired, Gunner Vierbein?

No, Sergeant Major!

Are you ill? Have you got a headache?

You can tell me.
I'm the battery's mother.

Today you have ho leave,
go to see Uncle Doctor...

for the likes of you,
he has a pail with cold water!

- Major from the left...
- Attention!

I rather like the Sergeant
Major's wife better than him.

Come to the swing with me, Luise...

Her name isn't Luise, it's Lore.

- When we swing so nicely...
- That's a good feeling.

Third Battery assembled
for assigning tasks.

- On a Saturday afternoon?
- Yes, Major! Cleaning duty.

A man's shirt in
the first row is open.

- Don't mind me.
- Yes, sir!

Move!

Gunner Vierbein!

Yes, Sergeant Major!

You'll get a cold. May I touch you?

- Yes, Sergeant Major!
- That's nice of you.

Gunner Vierbein, to the left,
break ranks!

Recruits! To the left, break ranks!

You may talk.

Take care, the Sergeant Major
doesn't have his dozen yet.

I said you may talk!

I didn't say you may yell!

The only one to yell here, is me!

Do you understand, Private Asch?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

- Recruits, dismissed.
- Asch, to the uniform store.

Kowalski and three men to the armory.

Who said anything about
standing still?

Would you do me a favor?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

Only if you want to.

I cannot order you to do it.

If you don't want to, you can say so.

Then you can clean the latrines.

Would you like that?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

What? Cleaning latrines?

Whatever the Sergeant Major orders.

Well, I didn't expect anything else.

Report to my wife to b*at the rugs.

Four queens.

With four queens no one can be happy.

Don't say that.
I know a lady who lives nearby.

She is as hot as four.

I know.

Whaddaya know?

The lady who lives nearby.

You'd like to b*at her rugs as well,
wouldn't you?

Will you be at the "Bismarck" tonight?

- Lots of fun with touching...
- I don't feel like it.

You don't feel like it?
You need medication!

And besides, I'm married.

- And how...
- Eh, eh!

First I need my dozen eggheads.

One dozen every Saturday?

Fine dosage,
that's the secret of success.

He who searches, shall find...

Don't you want to get your
Sunday leave?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

- What is this?
- Dirt.

Precisely.

- Cleaning duty!
- Here!

sh*t.

If I go by, kindly move your
bandy legs out of the way.

Yes, Sergeant Major!

Don't you want to get your
Sunday leave?

No, Sergeant Major!

Why not?

I don't feel like it, Sergeant Major!

All right.

Carry on.

Well?

Gunner Hermann is cleaning the latrines.

Have you cleaned here already?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

And what's this, you lazy bum?

Have you asked already for your
Sunday leave?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

But you haven't got your pass yet?

No, Sergeant Major!

Who is it?
I haven't got time, I'm working.

Open up, Werktreu, it's me, Schulz.

Come in... we're sorting out socks.

- And who's winning?
- Me, of course

I'd like a small game.
Seventeen-four.

It's forbidden, Sergeant Major.
It'd cost three days in solitary.

Always correct, Private Asch.
I like that.

You're made of the stuff
NCO's are made of.

So, what do we play?

Eighteen and three.

- Excellent. Who deals?
- I.

Ace and ten. That's how I start.
What do you say?

Lucky in game...

Do you mean I'm unlucky with women?

Are we playing or talking?

Wait, I'll give you a hand.

Thanks, there's really no need, madam.

Don't call me madam.
You're an upper class person yourself.

I'm a simple gunner.

I'm not interested in m*llitary ranks.

But in civilian life...
what are you?

Actually, I want to be a
musician, a pianist...

You see,
I thought something like that.

Let me see.

You have such soft, tender hands,

not at all like...

I'll tell ya something, Asch,
that Vierbein, he's not a man.

The other day I caught him reading.

The guy's got books in his
locker, can you imagine?

There are a few.
For example, myself.

I like reading books.

Come on!

In particular, service regulations.

You mean, still waters run deep...

He does it in a delicate manner.

Yeah, Schulz...
women like that... really.

I'll be back in a moment.

See,
I have to give you a hand after all.

Why do you look at me like that?

Really pretty...

Do you think so?

I think there are none like
that in the whole barracks.

Come, sit next to me.

You're so completely
different from my husband.

Have you got a girlfriend?

No.

- You really have...
- Vierbein!

Scram and report to the NCO
to clean the lower latrines.

- Yes, Sergeant Major!
- Well, go, man!

We're not finished yet.

With Vierbein!

That sissy! The crookedest
gunner in the whole battery!

That's what's bothering you?
That he's just a gunner?

Yes, now you're going
through half the battery.

Of course, only NCO's, that's boring.

They all want only one thing.
All the same caliber as you.

- You! You!
- What?

You!

Sow! Whore! Such words you use!

You're not in the barracks or the
canteen with your Elisabeth.

How dare you! I also know what
you had going with Werktreu!

And with Platzek!

And with Wunderlich!

And with Schwitzke!

Aren't you ashamed?

Why should I be?

Werktreu brought me three sets
of underwear for you.

I went to the movies with
Platzek 'cause you were drunk.

Wunderlich and Schwitzke went
with me to buy the rug.

- So?
- So what?

You idiot!
Even if I wanted to, how could I?

I can't go a step without a
thousand men watching me.

The barracks are to blame once more.

I tell you what:
I'm the Sergeant Major!

I have to live in the barracks.
This is it.

I'm standing on facts.

-You're standing on my flowers
-Oh, sh*t!

Did you ever think of bringing
me some flowers?

Women need that.

I'll tell you what women need.

From time to time,
they need a good b*ating!

Try it, you wouldn't dare!

You're afraid to be the
barracks's laughingstock.

Lore!

Oh, I see, making up!
But not with me!

If that's all you want from me,
go get it from your Elisabeth.

And if I did?

So you do.

All right.

Fritz?

Yes, Lore?

Don't forget to send me a strong man.

To dry the dishes.

- Herbert!
- That's true love, isn't it?

- You only come for this.
- No, thanks, I'm on duty.

Your health!

But you chose the easiest.

Haven't you got anything
to do, Private Asch?

Yes, sir, I'm taking the
amm*nit*on cradle for repair!

See, that's the way to do it.

One has to insert the b*llet
properly, without noise.

But it must be a round b*llet!

Well, now it's ready for repair!

You've got talent.

- Is that all you want to say?
- Are we going out tonight?

Wrong. You have to nod like this.

To the city park, as usual.

And in the evening,
to the Bismarck, to dance

Do we have to?

We have to.

You and your secrets.

But you're my dearest secret!

What are you doing in the NCO's canteen,
Private Asch?

I hereby report, sir, that I'm
looking for NCO Wunderlich...

to deliver the amm*nit*on
cradle for repair.

I thought NCO Wunderlich would
be in the canteen, but...

Well, he's not here, so scram!

Yes, Sergeant Major!

Wait... show it to me.
What's broken?

Here, Sergeant Major!

All right.
Tell the NCO on duty to call me here.

- Yes, Sergeant Major.!
- Go on, scram.

A beer and a whiskey, Betty.

- Is there anything else, Asch?
- Yes, sir.

Could I please have Gunner
Vierbein's pass as well?

- Vierbein?
- Yes, sir.

- Why?
- Because, sir...

we want to attend the handball
game, the Regiment vs. Hansa.

I'm glad that Vierbem shows an
interest in sports games.

I hope that you'll set a good
example for the civilians.

- Yes, sir.
- What are you doing tonight?

I'm managing my private life.

May I help you?

No thanks, what I've got to do,
I'll do on my own.

Even at night?

Is this an invitation...

- to go out with you tonight?
- Why not? How about it?

- You're married.
- And how!

Very happily. But don't worry...

I ordered my wife to stay at home.

You've got such a nice wife,
Mr. Schulz...

I don't understand you.

Why do you always reject me?

Mr. Schulz, in my job,
you either do it with everyone...

or with no one. I prefer with no one.

NCO's Canteen.

It's for you.

Yes! Yes!

This is the duty NCO Lindenberg.
You ordered, sir...

Listen, Lindenberg,
the pass for that bum Vierbein...

it's canceled, of course.

What?

Are you crazy?

I had no reason to refuse
Gunner Verbein his leave

for there was no order, and
Gunner Vierbem intends

to attend the handball game
of the regiment vs Hansa.

You idiot! That game is in two weeks.

This had to happen to you!

Do you think we'll make it?

Was he dressed to go out?

At what time was that?

Then he's still in.
I've got to do everything myself.

We're not finished yet.

- Sarge is watching the gate.
- Let's go!

- But it's impossible!
- I don't know that word.

- The Major!
- Oh sh*t, clod-face

- What do we do now?
- We'll salute, what else?

- Private!
- Sir?

There's a white stain on your
pants, 2 inches above the cuff.

- Clean it as soon as possible.
- Yes, Major.

A game of chess, Lieutenant Wedelmann?

Don't get up, I don't intend..

to exercise the difference
in rank with you...

I only want to know if you'd
play a game of chess with me.

- Gladly, sir.
- Please.

Listen, Wedelmann..

what would you do if you saw
two men of your battery...

climbing the wall of the barracks?

- I wouldn't believe my eyes.
- Why not?

There are things one ignores.

Then they vanish by themselves.

That's my style.

Tell you something, Wedelmann.

Turning a man into a soldier
is a highly difficult process.

Actually, I'm glad every
time it doesn't work so easily.

That proves a man's mettle.

Check...

And mate...

No, dear man, not yet.

There's always an escape route.

A basic m*llitary rule:
never give up too early!

We'll have our coffee at home,
it tastes better.

But don't start anything
with my sister.

I wouldn't start anything with
a comrade's sister!

Don't be such a sissy, man!

I'm telling you not to do it
because she's an idiot.

There she is...

Hello, my lovely little sister.

Here I am, marching out in 1914,

and here's

my father in 70/71.

-Show him the family showpiece
-Oh yes, father.

This is my grandfather with
the volunteer riflemen of 1813.

He later became an officer.

But luckily there is no general.

You should be ashamed.
You're a soldier, don't talk like that.

Father, I don't understand
how you tolerate this talk.

- You being a party member!
- That has been good for him.

It's been good for all of us.
We're all better off.

Do sit down, Mr. Vierbein.

Thank you.

Even our workers can
vacation now in Madeira.

I hope they don't...

they can leave their money in
my pub as well.

Come on, Mr. Vierbein...

I'll show you a few snapshots
from our summer camp...

It would be a pleasure.

German family life is so cozy.

I simply can't stand it when
my brother says such things.

Come on, sit next to me.

In your battery they are surely
not all like my brother.

But your brother is
a wonderful comrade.

He's always criticizing everything.

I hope you'll be a good
influence for him.

You're probably a good soldier.

At least I try to be one.

Very nice. Look, I'll show you

how we girls get ready for our duties.

That's us in the Eiffel, hiking...

and this is our camp fire,

and a picture with flash.

And there we're folk dancing...

and here we're doing gymnastics.

Because the motto of our camp is...

A healthy mind in a healthy body!

Are you very happy there?

Happy? It's more than that,
it's the sense of community.

I understand very well,
the communal experience.

I know exactly what you mean.

But my darling sister only sees

-women in uniform
-Oh, you're so mean.

What I want is a special girl,
not one off the rack.

See, he starts again.

Women in uniform, dear God.
Same skirts, same hair...

- same heads.
- Oh, you're so mean.

Thanks but no thanks to the
standard German merchandise.

Well, I'm leaving.

See you later.

Don't be sad,

you're a special girl,

really, very special.

- What are you so happy about?
- The kids.

Hopefully,
they won't have to wear a uniform.

Do you really believe that?

Sure, either we have the whole
world in our pocket...

and then we won't need the Wehrmacht,

or the whole world will
have us in its pocket.

Funny,
my Father always says the same thing.

Do you think there'll be w*r?

They've already put too much
money into the soldiers.

That would be dreadful.

You know we don't have
much time to lose.

Please, let's not be foolish.

Too bad,

I find foolishness wonderful.

Excuse me, but...

with so much saluting,
I don't get a chance to talk to you.

When you get to be an officer,
things will be much easier.

On the contrary,
officers also salute their subordinates,

and there are more of those
than officers.

To another girl, I'd say,
if you don't want to...

don't, then I'd go home.

Why don't you say it to me?

Because I don't like you at all,

- you silly goose.
- You stupid boy!

- Amuse yourselves.
- Scram, Kowalski.

Goodbye, Schulz!

- Where are we going?
- Behind the tree.

- Yes, but...
- That's our Sergeant Major.

- Why do you hide from him?
- I can do whatever I want.

I always catch his attention.

He always has some duty
for me to perform.

- Are you that important to him?
- So it seems.

You must be something special.

Let's look for a place where
no one would bother us.

All right.

I stole a picture from your album.

- May I keep it?
- Which one?

- One from the summer camp.
- You're interested in us.

You must become an officer!

Would you come tonight?

- Yes.
- To the Bismarck?

What? The soldier's hop?

Lore, Lore, Lore, Lore,
the girls of 17 & 18 are pretty

Lore, Lore, Lore, Lore,
the pretty girls are everywhere!

When spring comes...

to the valley, greet Lore
for me once more...

Lieutenant, this is the soldiers' bar.

I know I'm out of uniform.

Why, Wagner, you didn't feel
like having your Sunday leave?

That's right, Sergeant Major.

And how come you're here?

I dunno how it happened,
all of a sudden, I felt like it.

You're much too good for the
NCO's canteen, Miss Elisabeth.

What are you trying to say?

You should be at the officers' casino.

You know, sir, going by what
men want from me...

there are no social differences.

and therefore I don't ask
for social promotion.

Quite a broad!

They have no inner discipline,
these...

half-baked soldiers.

You cannot get lucky with her.

Bullshit,

we shall see.

I'll go after her now.

Have a nice time, but not too often!

Gunner Vierbein!
This is the limit!

Idiot! We're not on duty here.
Don't stand to attention.

But you got your leave under
false pretenses.

Go back to the barracks immediately...

and report to the duty NCO.

- Yes, Sergeant Major!
- Scram!

You see,
I knew tonight we'd dance together.

May I have the honor, Miss Betty?

Where did you leave Vierbein,
Miss Elisabeth?

Schulz sent him back to the barracks.

- What?
- What methods are these?

It's nothing, it happens every day.

Unfortunately, lieutenant, Sir.

It is a question of discipline.

Of decency.

Orders have to be followed.

Even when they're chicanery?

Only those who obey
will be able to give orders.

There are people who don't
want to give orders.

But we are soldiers.

You think so?

What else, Private Asch?

Human material, Mr. Wedelmann.

Duty NCO? This is Schulz.

Anything new?

A man on duty got sick?

That's good, that's very good.

Listen, Linderberg, I caught the guy

who pulled your leg before,
Vierbein...

I sent him to you.

You can arrest him.

Don't act like an idiot.

Should I come and have him arrested?

Well, then, why not now?
Over and out.

Listen, Schulz,
I think you've had a drop too many.

- Lieutenant, sir...
- You'd better go home.

Yes, sir.

Vierbein...

My dear man,
you and I will have a talk.

Yes, Sergeant Major.

I forgot my house key...

but you're so strong.

Please... please.

I'm slipping.

It was nothing.

Stop! What's going on here?

- Reporting sir!
- These are some new methods!

- Release my wife, this instant!
- Reporting, Sergeant Major...

Get out - you and I are not done yet.

Don't yell like that
in the middle of the night!

Yes, sir!

Damn it. Shitty officers.

Where were you?

At the movies.

With whom?

With the mayor,
with the commissioner, with clod-face.

Lore.

Did you really think of it?

What film did you see?

A good one.

I mean, what's the name?

Little man... very big.

Now you have to go.

If anyone sees us.

Where is your room?

Up there.

And where does your father sleep?

There.

Can he hear us?

He's not even at home...

he's on shift tonight.

- Elisabeth...
- Yes?

Man, I once had a girlfriend,
she was something, I tell you.

You could squash fleas on her behind.

That's how tight it was.

Wake up... my father!

He always comes into my room
to see if I'm sleeping.

For God's sake, we can't go on.

He's home already, you, you...
through the window...

I'll throw your stuff after you.

Let's open the gates wide, you clown.

Come on, come on, that side too...

...if I don't get through,

you'll be to blame.

Yes, Sergeant.

Oh, Vierbein... it's always Vierbein...

One of us is drunk.

Yes, Sergeant.

You dummy! Am I drunk?

No, Sergeant.

Well then you're drunk.
That's clear.

- Yes, Sergeant.
- Yes. Shame on you!

The guy stands guard and is drunk!

I'll report you! Understood?

Yes, Sergeant.

We'll both have a word.

Vierbein!

Johannes!

Is the coast clear?

Where are you?

Herbert! Hey, what's the matter?

- Where are your clothes?
- Sold them.

Good Lord!

What's that?

This guy is only wearing his shirt!

Are you drunk as well, you stud?

Reporting, sir...

I walk in my sleep.

What? Walk in your sleep?

Incredible! That's a good one.

Private Frost, two crates of beer
and three bottles of schnapps.

Damn it!

Dear Comrade Platzek,
happy birthday to you!

You know me, you know my motto is...

Here duty... here cheerfulness!

Let's start with your favorite song.
Let's sing.

The nicest place I have on earth...

is the patch next to my
parents' grave.

Three, four...

Now the Sarge is rousing his NCO's

so that they can better
break our asses.

Look where you throw your filth.

Filth is meant to be
distributed evenly.

Shut your trap!

Did anyone do anything to you?

Do you want me to b*at anyone
up for you?

Yes, me...

I behaved like a pig.

Anyone can step into sh*t...

but gentlemen always take
their feet out of it again.

But I'm telling you,

Vierbein was drunk on guard,
wearing only a shirt.

I'll break his ass up to his neck!

Gunner Vierbein is in my group.

He's a good soldier.
I see no reason to punish him.

You get on our nerves,
you're so correct.

Be a bit human, finish the guy.

This is the NCO's canteen, Mr. Asch.

What happened, Elisabeth?

Nothing.

Look, my father didn't see you.

If they ask if I know who
slept with me...

I'll say no.

- Elisabeth, I'm in a hurry.
- A light beer, please.

Coming up. I noticed that tonight.

That was funny, I guess.

Especially for me.

- Come on, give them to me.
- What?

- My clothes.
- I don't have them.

So who has?

I'll give you three guesses.

I'm to blame, not Elisabeth -
she's not like the other girls.

Well, let it be.

Well, well.

Good morning.

- Your dress uniform?
- Yes, Sergeant.

I had my dress uniform cleaned.

Cleaned? Outside barracks?

Yes, Sergeant.

- Well, aren't you fancy?
- That's DM 3.70, Mr. Asch.

- DM 3.70.
- Yes.

Right away.

- Four marks. Keep the change.
- Thank you.

I won't bother you any longer.

Keep the change.

I think we understand each other,
don't we?

Thank you, Mr. Freitag.

And if you come calling again...

please use the door, Mr. Asch.

NCO Lindenberg.

And what have you thought out,
Lindenberg,

to set this wet rag, Vierbein

straight once and for all?

Reporting that after relief
the guard goes off duty.

I'm fed up with you!
If you're unable,

then send Vierbein to me.
Now!

This is an order!
I'll cope with this gentleman.

Over and out.

Lindenberg is up there,
at the window I think he's after me.

Of course, chain reaction.

Herbert,
I've got a date with your sister.

Man, everything happens to you!

Johannes! Come on, man.
Take off your clothes.

Don't stand there like a dummy.
I'll bring your dress uniform.

- But...
- No buts. Do what I say...

Gunner Vierbein was not
in the barracks, Sir.

And you don't know anything
about it either?

- No, sir.
- What is it you don't know?

- Nothing, sir.
- Damn it!

Are you ordering us to go look
for Gunner Vierbein?

- Right.
- Attention!

Vierbein!

It's me, come here.

Here's your dress uniform.
Come on, man, quick.

I'll take your fatigues.

And as for Ingrid, you stud...

don't let her wind you around
her little finger!

Vierbein!

Bye, bye!

Did you know this order

that whoever comes from guard duty

must have clothes and
equipment in perfect condition?

Yes, I know it, Sergeant Major!

Well, you see, this is
the pertinent point.

And now, finish him for me!

And stop yelling "Vierbein"
like an idiot.

Yes, Sergeant Major!

You look so tired.

I was the whole night on duty.

Did you think of me a bit?

Only of you.

And I cursed this soldier life.

All that will change when
you're an officer.

Since I'm a soldier, I'm so confused.

Whatever I do, is wrong.

And I'm never alone.
And that's the worst.

One is never alone.

- I hate that kind of life.
- Now you talk like my brother.

- Your brother is wonderful.
- I know him better than you.

He's so subversive.
He'll never get anywhere.

Should one get anywhere?
As a soldier, I mean.

That's the real test.

I could never appreciate a
man who doesn't pass it.

I don't think I can pass it.

- Gunner Vierbein.
- Yes, sir.

Show me your belt,
cartridge pouches, holster.

Yes, sir.

Sir, may I remind you that
it's already taps?

Do you want to teach me my
duties, Private Asch?

Damn it!

Silence in this brothel!

- It's taps.
- We're not finished yet.

Good night, sir.

That's my opinion as regards
this whole question.

And what do you say about it, Captain?

Things are hopeless, but not serious.

You take things lightly...

Dear man, pay attention to this...

Only the troops are
from the Ostmark...

the officers are Austrian.

Servus, my little doctor.

- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, Captain.

- What do we have today?
- A disciplinary matter.

- How unpleasant!
- It's Gunner Vierbein...

He must be punished.
I propose 3 days in solitary.

So many crimes at once?

All right.

- Let Vierbein come in.
- He's outside, Captain.

Come in, Vierbein.

Gunner Vierbein reporting.

Come closer.

You don't look healthy at all.

That comes from his lifestyle.

Shame on you. You have the
honor of being a soldier...

- and you behave like a...
- Speckled sow.

- What does your father do?
- He's in the police, Captain.

A man of honor and
a reliable civil servant.

And what are you?
A bad soldier.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Are you hard of hearing?
Are you ashamed?

Yes, Captain.

I wanted to punish you with
three days' solitary.

But since you admit
you can't go on like that...

and since the Sergeant Major
spoke in your favor...

I'll have mercy on you and
will punish you with...

- say 14 days without leave.
- Confinement.

And if the slightest thing happens,

then, then... understood?

- Yes, Captain.
- Dismissed.

Well, let this be a lesson to him.

This strengthens the stomach muscles.

No, the rage in our bellies.

Nice day, isn't it?

Like in a sanatorium.

And Lindenberg's group
is getting a suntan.

Everybody's just lying around, Platzek?

Well, sweat it out!

Yes, Sergeant Major!

Much too slack, Lindenberg,
much too slack!

I'll take over.
Lay down!

Vierbein is much too crooked!

He's a rubber toy!

God only knows where you went
again yesterday evening...

All because of Vierbein,
up, march, march!

On your bellies!

Up, march!

Turn, march!

On your bellies!
Up, march!

Against the wall, march!

On your bellies!
Up, march!

Attention!

So, you don't want to, do you?

Mr. Vierbein, this muzzler,
doesn't want to.

Well, let's go to Mother Nature,
shall we?

Battery, in march formation, march!

She sighs quietly and
whispers silently

My Silesia

My fatherland

Where we'll meet again quietly
under the sky

My Silesia

we shall meet again at the
banks of the Oder

Stop singing.
Lindenberg's group to the right...

to the swimming pool.

Up, march.

Go on.

On your bellies!

Up, march.
On your bellies!

Up, march.
Attention!

Easy, gentlemen, easy!

Easy does it!

Afterwards you'll have to wash
your clothes anyhow.

On your bellies!
Up, march.

On your bellies!

And so that you can die easier, crawl!

Come on, come on!

You're falling asleep, you sad sacks.

You can lift fat women and
sh*t big heaps, can't you?

But not exercise!

Up, march!
Turn, march!

On your bellies!

Up, march.
On your bellies!

Up, march.
Attention!

Did I order you to lie on your belly,
Vierbein?

That's what you would like -
to lie here in the sun, right?

For you a hero's death would
mean deliverance!

At Gunner Vierbein's special request

we shall measure this
beautiful terrain!

Turn, march!

Come on!

Attention!

One whistle means on your bellies...

Two whistles up, march, march!
Got it?

To the forest, march!

The heart laughs in your body

You beautiful Western Forest,
eucalyptus candy

The wind whistles so cold in
your peaks

but the smallest ray of sun

goes deep into our hearts

Put him there...

Water!

Here you are!

Vierbein, Johannes!
Move, man, move!

sh*t!

What?

I don't want any more.

Next time kindly open your
trap a bit earlier!

Attention!

Aren't you going to stand up?

Gunner Vierbein is sick.

Sick? Impossible!

He must be taken to the hospital.

What did you report this morning?

No sick report.

So, you see.

The sick must report in the morning,
on second duty tour.

If no one reported sick,
no one is sick, understood?

- Yes, sir!
- See?

And Vierbein?
Well, I'm only a human being.

Vierbein needs recreation,
let him clean the latrines.

No, he won't!

First, stand to attention...

and second - shut your trap
when you're not spoken to!

First, I don't stand to
attention if someone is dying

while someone else talks rot.

Second, one gets sick
when he gets sick,

not when it's convenient to you.

You're lucky that I don't like
writing reports.

That could be your luck.

If you write a report,
I'll be asked about it as well,

then they'll take you to task.

We aren't done yet.

What do we do with you today?

Today you report sick, Vierbein.

- I'm not sick.
- Yes, you are, you lame duck

...or idiot - you can choose.

Do you think we'll let them
break our asses because of you?

They'll take their time to finish you.

Shut your traps!
Well, what is it?

Do you get dizzy? Fatigue?

No, that's nothing... heart cramps.

Yes, the heart... that's always good.

No M.O. ever understood
anything about the heart.

Two white, two red.

Swallow!

Next!

How do you know that
you have heart cramps?

I can't breathe, doctor.

That's bad, very bad!

Stick your head in cold water!

There!

Come on! It'll do you good!

Well?

Did you get air?

Yes, doctor, sir!

sh**t!

Aimed 8 low.

sh**t!

Aimed 10 low, round 11 up.

Gunner Walter 6.
Drill completed.

Aimed 8 up.

Gunner Becher.

Here's Vierbein back.

That idiot can't even be sick.

If we have any problem at all
because of you, I'll k*ll you.

And that comes from a friend.

Shut your trap!

What happened at the doctor's?

The usual.

Regards from Ingrid...

You...

Johannes!

- Who's next?
- Vierbein.

Where is he?

Just a moment.

sh**t.

Asking for permission
to go to the bathroom.

8, aimed low.

Don't take too long!
Kowalski'll take over for you!

Yes, Sergeant!

My God, he's already sh1tting
in his pants!

Vierbein!

Johannes!

Johannes, where's the
amm*nit*on? Give it to me!

- No!
- Give me the amm*nit*on, now!

Let me be! Let me be!

Leave me alone, Herbert!
I can't take it any longer!

I'll hit you until you give
me the amm*nit*on.

You cowardly pig!
You want to sh**t yourself?

- Let me be, Herbert!
- I won't allow it!

Herbert! Let me be!

Stop! What's going on?

Will you get off each other?

Always Vierbein, that sissy!

I've punched him in the face.

A small private difference of
opinion between men.

Well, that's none of my business.

Is this true, what Asch says?

Yes, Sergeant Major!

- Did you finish your drill?
- No, Sergeant Major.

Well, go to the range and get
some amm*nit*on.

- Scram!
- Yes, Sergeant Major!

Bravo, Asch!
You did a good job.

You understood what I meant.

It's 11 a.m., Sergeant.

- Did you two practice sh**ting?
- No.

No, Sergeant.

Go, relieve the others, you two.

Come here. Look, 258 rounds.

Here.

258 rounds gone. Check.

- I believe you.
- Well, then everything's OK.

Vierbein, as usual, all misses.

What happened with Vierbein?

Did you record him twice?

No, why?

Man!

If we have six rounds missing,

someone will get totally enraged.

With six rounds you can
blow up the whole lot.

Drinks are on Asch today.

- How come?
- He's the last to sh**t,

and the last will be the first.

What do you mean?

Until now, the Sarge was
always first with 64 hits.

But if Asch goes on like that,
he'll get 72 hits.

Take your foot out of the sh*t.

Yes, Lance-Corporal.

Miss.

Stop sh**ting.

The NCO's are invited

to a celebration, tonight -

a small party in the reading room.
Got it?

Yes, Sergeant Major, yes.

Fritz.

I have to report something.

What is it?

I'm missing six rounds.

Clear out!

Are you crazy?

I've counted them three times.

And did you count them every
time you gave them out?

I gave them out four times,
who counts?

No one could count!

Those are the orders!
Are you drunk?

No, just a bit of hard water...

Sergeant Platzek,
get the six rounds by tomorrow.

I'll be expecting your report.

And I don't give a sh*t how you do it!

Yes, Sergeant Major!

Vierbein!

Vierbein!

Yes, Sergeant Major!

It sounds almost as if it were music.

That's Beethoven, sir.

I see.

I didn't know you could play the piano.

I wanted to be a pianist.

What do you mean, "you wanted"?

Now I'm a soldier.

Listen, sometimes I get the feeling...

you think I have something
against you.

Yes, Sergeant Major.

That's a mistake on your part,
Vierbein.

I'm just doing my duty.

Turning civilians into soldiers.

- Do you understand?
- Yes, Sergeant.

If you want to, you can play a
bit of music here tonight.

But nothing so boring.

Something gay, all right?

- Yes, Sergeant.
- All right.

Carry on.

- Comrades...
- Here!

- Comrades...
- Quiet!

- Just one moment!
- Our esteemed Sergeant Major

has shown himself to be quite
a man again today

and the best marksman in the battery.

In Switzerland a true man once

saved the honor of his country
with a single sh*t.

- And Schulz is as good as Tell!
- Bravo!

NCO's are the backbone of the Army.

The extended backbone.

And so I ask you to raise your
glasses with me and toast...

our Sergeant Major Schulz!

And now, comrades:
The Western Forest.

Three, four...

Today we want to try a new march

Through the Western Forest
where the cold wind blows

Two, three, four...

Oh, beautiful Western Forest

The best ladies' panties!

The wind whistles so cold in
your peaks...

But the smallest ray of sun...

Goes deep into our hearts

Two, three, four...

Oh, beautiful Western Forest

The wind whistles so cold in
your peaks, but the smallest...

- Good evening, lieutenant.
- Good evening, Mrs. Schulz.

- You're up so late?
- I can't sleep.

- Neither can I.
- My husband is celebrating.

And I want to get drunk.

Good idea. I'd also like that.

- Would you do it with me?
- Why not?

Come in.

Lindenberg hasn't said a word all night.

And I'm just filling
his glass with air bubbles.

Platzek! You old thief!

We were always friends.
Until now.

Now there are six rounds
of amm*nit*on between us.

They must show up.
Or I will become official.

Oh, sh*t!

Yes, Sergeant Major.

From now on, only beer laced
with schnapps for Platzek.

That's what I'm doing all the
time with the Sarge.

Let us insert a coin...

Perhaps the music box will
play something lighter.

Another coin, Fünfbein.

And another coin.

You don't know that I'm the
Sergeant Major here, do you?

You, I'm going to roast you a bit!

I'll pee in his next beer.

It's pointless,

they don't notice
such niceties anymore.

We're a sworn brotherhood!

Yes, yes!

Yes! All of us!
You too, Private Asch.

- Yes, Sergeant Major.
- And you, Kowalski.

And so is Vierbein.

Private Asch...

what would you do

if you had six cartridges
in your pocket?

I'd sh**t, Sergeant Major.

- Who would you sh**t?
- The enemy, Sergeant Major.

- Your health, Sergeant Major.
- Thank you.

That's good, very good, Private Asch.

- You're a born NCO.
- Yes, Sergeant Major.

On your feet you wet bag,
you, on your belly!

- Yes, Sergeant.
- A beer.

We aren't finished yet.

I'll tell you why I married.

I lived for years with my
parents and two siblings

in a tenement in two rooms,
and I wanted to get out.

I wanted something better.
That's all!

My father was a postal inspector.

Why should I boast before you?
He was a postman...

and saved all his life so that
I could finish college

and be something better.

How fine and thin your hands are!

And now, comrades,

the greatest song of all.

Get on that thing there,
To Trudiralala

Get on that thing there,
To Trudiralala

Belt up that thing there,
To Trudiralala

Belt up that thing there,
To Trudiralala

Listen...

that's been going on all night long.

One gets accustomed to it.

One could get accustomed to nice things.

Come here...

sit next to me.

We want a drink.

Yes, let's drink.

Come closer. I don't bite.

If you're hot, take off your jacket -

my husband makes himself
comfortable at home as well.

Yes, it's very hot.

I'm also hot.

Lindenberg, you wet rag!
Be good enough to participate.

Streusel cake!

State funeral!

State funeral for Lindenberg
with a great trullala!

Drink up that thing for
the trullala...

What is it?

- Where am I?
- In the refreshment bar.

That's good.

Silence!

- Wow! Is it raining?
- Yes, sir!

- On your bellies!
- Yes, sir!

Go, go!

Go away!

Go away!

Nice picture.

Yes, I cut it out from a magazine.

- Do you know that house?
- No,

but I wish I had one like that.

Am I not modest?

After all, what do I want?
Only a little happiness.

Only a little love
and a little happiness.

Calm down, Mrs Lore,

calm down.

I'm calm.

I don't care anymore.

Not like that. Let's drink.

Yes, let's drink.

And let's play...

let's play we're poor, abandoned kids.

Good evening.

I've been keeping your wife
company, Sergeant Major!

I hope you don't
misunderstand the situation.

Goodbye, madam.

Loser.

Herbert! I've gotten over it!

There's no place like home.

If your father tells mine
that he doesn't approve of us...

- That's nonsense.
- No, it isn't.

Look, my father is only a worker
and yours owns a café.

And yours is an old socialist
and mine a nationalist, I know.

You know nothing.
You don't know what it means.

I don't want to know.
But let's look for the two arch enemies.

Alright.

Well, those two found each other.
This is the way to the café.

Are you happy, Ingrid?

I don't believe it.

How did you get here? You're grounded.

- That's simple. Over the wall.
- And by himself.

What?

And you're holding hands?

Yes.
He promised that all will be well

and he'll become an officer.

So they wore you down?

But excuse me.

Just so you can get used to it.

This is your future relative,

your sister-in-law Elisabeth.

Poor thing. You'll have to bear
your cross with Herbert.

As long as it's not a swastika!

- What's going on here?
- That's what we want to ask you.

There is the amm*nit*on.

Six rounds.

You have them!

I have heard about it in the canteen.

That sounds nearly
like a court hearing.

Nonsense.

What do you want with them?

Oh, you can do various things.

You can play with them.

You can sh**t with them, too.

Right.
But that would be very stupid.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Then give me the amm*nit*on.

- No.
- But you can't return it.

Or they'll know that you took it.

Right. That's why I keep it.

For two years they've
played cat and mouse with me,

and I was always the mouse.

And now that I'm the cat,

I should give it up? No way.

Attention!

Room two, nine men, no sick reports.

Carry on.

What's this stink?
Open the window! On the spot!

- Cleaning detachment!
- Here!

The coffee pot is dirty.
Come on, to the washroom!

Asch!

Don't you want to get up, Asch?

My rank is private.

Don't you want to get up, Private Asch?

It's not a matter of wanting, sir.

On your feet, Private Asch!

That is a clear order.

Everybody is to get up right
after reveille.

What do you mean, right after?
One second? Three minutes?

- Right after means immediately.
- Anyone can say that.

I'm not anyone.
I'm your superior officer!

I didn't choose you.

Are you sick, Private Asch?
What's the matter with you?

No, I'm quite normal and reasonable.

Why can't we get up quietly?
Stupid yelling every morning!

You're not an instructor,
you're a warden!

- I'm taking note of all that.
- I should hope so.

And if you don't like warden,
you can...

use slavedriver instead!

That's enough. Stop it.

If you're satisfied,

then let's stop it.

You're a witness!

What should I witness?

- What do you want here?
- Reporting for kitchen duty.

- What are you doing?
- I'm weighing.

- Who ordered you to?
- No one.

Have you gone crazy?

Is someone crazy if he does
something he's entitled to do?

Do you think we cheat here?

I cannot say that yet,

but us soon as I get
figures for comparison.

Did you ever hear of wastage?

- Sure.
- Well, then.

You half-baked creature.

What do you want?

Establish its weight.

I'll report it!

Please do.

I need six carbine rounds.

You must have unrecorded goods.

To keep unrecorded goods
is a punishable crime.

And in the first or second battery?

They won't want to
get in trouble either.

What shall I do then, Sir?

Is anything not in order?

I should hope so.

Then don't let a private worry you.

Let him check the weight.

A question of discipline?
I'm not responsible for that. That's it.

- Stupid stuff!!
- Yes, Sir.

Tell me, Asch, do we have
to put up with this?

- With what?
- After duty we're made to work.

But the maids go home.
That's sh*t!

It's very simple.
Come, I'll show you something.

It's written here...

Aides must only clean the
tables and wash the dishes.

Maids shall clean the
dining room and the kitchen.

I've got you now!
You're inciting to mutiny!

You can call it what you like!

But wastage here is 25%.

Ten per cent might be permissible.

One could call it misappropriation.

You troublemaker! Scram!

Actually, it's a very simple matter,
Sergeant.

- How?
- Correct the sh**ting records.

Ask the first man who recorded
the sh*ts to correct it.

Who was it?

Asch.

Asch?

Bring him here!

You don't need me here.

That's good.

Very good.

The left margin on the
report is not large enough.

I cannot bind this page.

- Who witnessed it?
- Lance-Corporal Kowalski.

- And who else?
- No one else.

Then you have given an
incorrect report.

"In the presence of other
soldiers" means several.

That would be mutiny!
Now it's only one!

Who do you think you are?

Do you want me to submit an
incorrect report?

No, Sergeant Major!
But those comments were made.

Lindenberg,

Asch is one of our best soldiers.

If you have anything against him,
lick him into shape

until he begs for mercy.

But now do me a favor -
don't insist on this stupid report.

The man is about to be a NCO.

Sorry, Sergeant Major,
but I have to insist on it.

All right, get Kowalski.

You know I have a high esteem for you,
Asch.

You simply record it and I sign below.

- Agreed?
- Why not? Give it to me!

So, you see.

So this would be a small
forgery of documents.

Don't joke!
It's a small amendment of documents.

As I see it, it's forgery.
Punishable by prison.

Penal Code, Article 267, item 1.

But you're involved!

There you're wrong.
Anyone can record something -

only the signature makes it
into a document.

Don't use that tone of voice with me!

Considering the circumstances,
I'm being quite friendly.

But...

that could change.

You dirty pig.

People are listening.
Speak freely.

Tell me...

what do you want from me?

Asch! Man!

Everything is all right.

See, this way I like you much better.

First of all,
I want you to behave like a...

halfway civilized man

and not like a rabid dog!

And any other thing I want from you...

I'll let you know in time.

I'm not done with you.

Private Asch is one of my best
and most reliable soldiers.

I'll check, and also,
if the rations are accurate.

And if you want to accuse any
of my people of mutiny...

then I'll check if you really
force my people

to perform the work of kitchen maids.

I have the Chief Paymaster's
full confidence,

who did not accept your report.

Sergeant Major, this Private Asch...

Do you insist on my checking?

Yes or no?

I take back my report.

Well, then!

And I'll have a talk with Private Asch.

Quite a character, that Asch!

Checking the weight of the
mess officer's rations!

He'll make a wonderful NCO.

Yes, Sergeant Major!

There you are, Kowalski.
Come here.

Tell me, what did you hear?

Nothing, Sergeant Major!

I won't listen to other
people's conversations!

NCO Lindenberg, I give you 24 hours

to reconsider what you want to
do with your report.

Out!

Who recorded it?

- Private Asch.
- It's always Private Asch.

- Everything in order?
- Nothing is in order.

What do I care about the
sh**ting record forgery?

Where are the six rounds?

- Your lousy six rounds, man!
- I'm not your "man".

What happens if some idiot
sh**t himself?

Or someone tries to
sh**t that idiot Platzek?

Don't tempt fate.

Platzek!

I need those six rounds!

If I catch the guy who stole them,
I'll finish him!

- NCO on duty!
- NCO on duty!

No one leaves the barrack!
NCO on duty, report immediately!

Check all r*fles! No one leaves
the barracks or the rooms!

A r*fle b*llet!

Are you sure?

Typical r*fle 98 K.

- Frost, are the reports in?
- Yes, Sergeant Major!

NCO Schwitzke checked the
r*fles in the lower hall.

All r*fle barrels perfect,
one r*fle missing.

NCO Lindenberg checked the
r*fles in the upper hall.

All r*fle barrels perfect,
two r*fles missing.

- How many r*fles in the armory?
- Three.

Then it adds up.

It must be a coincidence.

Perhaps a record was made
inadvertently.

Of course!

That's a possibility!

Who would sh**t me.

NCO Lindenberg and Private Asch
reporting!

All right, Kowalski, you may go.

Come here, Private Asch.

Private Asch,

do you know what the matter is?

- Absolutely, Sergeant Major.
- What do you know?

Everything.

NCO Lindenberg has stated...

that you called him a
warden and slavedriver.

That's right.

- What is right?
- He's a warden and slavedriver.

But in contrast to other NCO's here,

he's no sadist.

- I'm warning you!
- You're warning me?

- I think you've been warned.
- What?

No one tried to sh**t me as yet.

Private Asch,

you're under arrest.

Private Asch reporting.

Come closer!

What are these stories I hear
about you, Private Asch?

I don't create these stories -
they're created about me.

Answer properly when asked.

Who's asking? You or the captain?

I'm asking the questions here.
And I'm asking you...

if you sh*t at the Sergeant Major.

Who says that is lying.

You have the nerve to say
that I'm a liar?

What has it got to do with nerve?

Well, Private Asch...

if you didn't sh**t,
who might have sh*t him?

I don't know, Captain.
Every man in the battery has reasons.

- That's m*rder plain m*rder.
- Quiet please. Leave us, Asch.

This is an impossible situation.

Captain Derna.

What? What was that name, again?

Asch? That's very unpleasant.

No, no, that wasn't meant for you.
Thank you. Over.

That was the General Command
of my section to tell me...

that the Major authorized the
promotion of Asch to NCO.

What? Who proposed him?

I did. But you, Captain, signed it.

Please calm down, lieutenant, would you?

Gentlemen,
this is an impossible situation.

And now let me show you how
we deal with it at home.

Let me speak to the doctor.

- Pulse sixty-six.
- Sixty-six.

- Is the isolation room free?
- Yes, doctor.

Leave me alone with the patient.

What's all this?
I'm absolutely healthy.

A checkup never hurt anyone.

Then why don't the men reporting
sick ever get a checkup?

Relax, Private Asch.

Lie down, easy.

Think of nothing.

That's harder for me than for you.
Did I come here to sleep?

Typical, typical.

We'll have a little chat, you and I.

What purpose will that serve?

All your answers have been
quite revealing.

So have your questions.

You had a difficult childhood.

No, quite the contrary.
Don't transfer your life to others.

But surely your father b*at you often.

No, never!
We had a perfectly abnormal family life.

Did you ever feel like -
pushed to att*ck someone...

to t*rture someone, to m*rder?

- Yes.
- Typical, typical.

- Now, for example.
- Don't talk nonsense.

And what about the
nonsense I have to listen to?

I want to examine you, Private Asch.

Be reasonable, I want to help you.
Trust me.

You want to shut me up in an
isolation room...

and I consider that wrongful detention.

I insist that you record in
your official records

on what diagnosis you are basing this.

NCO,

take this man to the isolation room.

And how's the battle?

It's a draw I went on a hunger strike,
to start with.

A hunger strike is always good.

Especially if you have enough to eat.

- What do you mean?
- Salami.

Your Elisabeth sent it!

If need be, I'll eat it without bread.

- Coming up!
- That too?

Tell her thanks, and to keep calm...

and not to do anything,
I know exactly what I want.

- All right.
- What about Schulz?

He's raging mad!

The sh*t hit the right spot, eh?

And the next will too,
you can be sure of that!

Come here, Wedelmann.

Well, hurry up, Wedelmann.
Wedelmann?

Yikes, you should be ashamed of
yourself - what did you do?

Such a thing!

What is it? What is it?

Come on, get over here.

Leave that stupid animal alone!

Better tell me,
how I get out of this situation!

I don't give a sh*t
how you get out of it!

You lost the amm*nit*on,
so you should be sh*t at!

- sh**t me?
- You, of course!

Or do you want to tell me
they should sh**t me?

But you and your sl*ve-driving!

Don't make me miserable!

If your report states that
I lost the amm*nit*on...

Is the report wrong?

I see...

So that's the end of me?

Serves me right.

When I wanted to be a soldier,
I thought, here we go.

sh*t.

All sh*t.

It finished me, the Army!

- Come here, Wedelmann!
- It finished me!

Come here, Wedelmann!

You don't want to?

Come here, or else!

Come with me to the sick bay.

With pleasure.

Very convenient for you!

It leaves you off the hook,
so to speak.

What do you mean?

You're not responsible for
what you did,

not fully responsible...
the matter is closed.

Does that mean that you're
declaring me of unsound mind?

Exactly. That's exactly what
I wrote in my report.

Oh...

So there's nothing I can do, or

I can do whatever I want.

- Lift your arms!
- What does this mean?

Freeze!

I'm not responsible for my actions.

Arms up, higher!

That's good!

And now...

stick your head in cold water...

according to rule 0-8-15

What are you waiting for?
I know it's good for you!

Again - it was so good the first time!

And against the shock:
two white, two red.

The Major is coming.

Good morning!

The locks on the amm*nit*on
bunkers are not oiled.

There's important news,
in half an hour...

The whole section will be
ready to receive...

In the sick bay, the lamp at the
entrance wasn't switched off.

Something for me, Captain Derna?

Yes, Major.

Hang your cap on the nail.

On the wall, next to the map.

This is a very embarrassing matter,
Major.

In my section there are no
embarrassing matters...

Or do you want to hang
your uniform too?

I respectfully report to the Major...

No, dear man,
I'm sick and tired of your reports.

I already have your collected works.

This, Captain Derna, this can't be.

Yes, Major...

I share the Major's opinion, but...

So if we're agreed, why the "but"?

The NCO's, Major...

They decide in your battery?

You can't deal with your people?
Need a rest?

- Of course not, Major.
- Right, take a vacation...

until the Fatherland calls you back.

NCO Lindenberg!

No, no, stay a while longer,

see how we settle these matters here.

Lindenberg, you're thought
to be correct and reliable.

So I wonder why you talk so
long to your subordinates.

Your orders are to be clear
and unequivocal.

Every order makes sense,
and it is a good order and will be

- obeyed. Do you understand?
- Yes, Major!

To be obeyed is a question
of personality, not regulations.

Your report is nonsense.

- To the wastebasket!
- Yes, Major!

Dismissed!

Sergeant Platzek!

I read here...

that you've lost amm*nit*on.

You don't believe that yourself,
do you?

No, Major.

You've got good results from your men,

but you're not so good when
dealing with material.

There's a vacancy at the
dynamite factory in Saumagen.

There you'll learn how
to deal with expl*sives.

Your report is overdue.
Dismissed.

Lieutenant Wedelmann!
Sergeant Major Schulz!

Sergeant Major Schulz!

It is very important to me
that such a good soldier

as yourself, should remain with us!

Yes, Major!

I'd like you to take cover
when the atmosphere gets thick!

Sir, I was sh*t at twice!

They sh*t at you?

Have you reasons to believe
someone had reasons to sh**t?

Whoever does his duty makes enemies,
Major!

I do my duty,
does it mean I have enemies?

Yesterday we also sh*t, Major.
In the officer's casino garden.

Lieutenant Wedelmann!

First: I didn't ask for your opinion.

Second: I'd like my men to get
ready for an emergency.

Third: I beg you to use for
your sh**ting exercises...

the appropriate place.

- Yes, Major!
- Sergeant Major Schulz!

Your strangely confused report

seems to be based on very
understandable motives.

How should I understand that, Major?

Very simple!

Sergeant Major is not a rank,
it's a position.

Go back to being a Sergeant
without rank, give up your flat.

That's the point, isn't it?
Your service flat!

Your wife seems to like green -
that's very understandable.

For that, you don't need this report.
You permit?

- Yes, Major!
- All right, dismissed.

Chief Doctor Saemig.

What do I hear, doctor?

You have wrestling
bouts with your patients?

- Including waterworks?
- I was assaulted, Major.

- Private Asch is dead, then?
- Not so far as I know, Major.

If an officer is att*cked by a private,
the private is dead.

- Don't you wish to be an officer?
- Yes, Major!

Or are you looking for
a solid civilian position?

A head shrinker in a mental home?

- No, Major.
- I would do that soon.

Yes, Major.

If I process your report,
there wouldn't be much time left.

- Yes, Major.
- What do you mean, "yes"?

I'm withdrawing my report, Major.

All right, you can go.

Pity...

A pity for your reputation,
nothing's left of your reports.

Now let us congratulate our
two privates on their promotion.

- Lance Corporal Kowalski!
- Yes, Major!

- You're in the armory?
- Yes, Major!

- Have you ever lost amm*nit*on?
- No, Major!

But I heard something like that,
haven't I?

They found the amm*nit*on.

Fell in the amm*nit*on cradle.

- Four or six rounds?
- Six rounds, Major.

People like you are indispensable
in such a position.

I'm promoting you to Officer
Second Class. Congratulations.

- Private Asch!
- Yes, Major!

I heard that lately you've been thinking

how to improve our NCO corps.

- Yes, sir!
- Good! Excellent!

And for you to bring your
theories to practice

I'm promoting you to NCO.
Congratulations.

In six months you can report
your results to me

if you still have the time and
the inclination.

Yes, Major.

Report to your battery.

Bon appetit, Captain Derna.

That's how it looks here, Wedelmann...

while the world goes up in flames!

Here is the Great German Radio
with all its stations,

and with directional antennas abroad.

This is important news
from our wireless service.

Tonight for the first time
sh*ts were fired on regular

soldiers in our territory.

Since 5:45 we have been
sh**ting back.

I will continue this fight

no matter against whom, until...

Until the next news,
we shall broadcast m*llitary music.

THE END
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