01x06 - Exit Stage Death

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Poker Face". Aired: January 26, 2023 - present.
A mystery-of-the-week series following Charlie Cale, who has an extraordinary ability to determine when someone is lying.
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01x06 - Exit Stage Death

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WOMAN: Jesus, Michael.

You want to 'Gram with the shrine?

WOMAN: No, I'm, uh. I'm good.

Well, Kathleen.

- Welcome to the life.
- KATHLEEN: Mm-hmm.

Hey, sweetheart.

Kathleen, I'd love for
you to meet my wife, Ava.

Ava, I'd like for you
to meet my mortal enemy,

Kathleen Townsend.

AVA: Kathleen.

It is a pleasure to finally meet you.

Well, likewise. Likewise.

- Congratulations, newlyweds.
- MICHAEL AND AVA: Thank you.

A May-December romance
really warms my heart.

Aww, that's so sweet.

- And you look wonderful, by the way.
- Thank you.

I think I recognize that
outfit from season six.

Okay, well, I will leave
the two of you to catch up.



Not bad.

I mean, a year ago,

you were doing insurance
commercials with talking beavers.

And now, now you have all this

She have family money?

Oh no. Ava is % self-made.

She founded a discount
online brokerage for women...

She Trade.

So this is a treat.

After three years radio silence.

What is this? Some
kind of -Step thing?

You're a rage-a-holic?
You here to make amends?


This isn't easy for me, Michael.

I know that we have hurt
each other in the past.

I know that I have hurt you terribly.

But I have to ask you for a favor.


I want you to do a play with me.

What? It's one night
only. Regional theater.

Oh, but they have very deep pockets.

I think some of the donors
are big "Spooky" fans actually.

They offered big money.

What's the play?

"The Ghosts of Pensacola."

Ugh. Listen, even years
ago, that mope-fest sucked.

Those were the best
reviews of our career.

It's a low bar.

Michael, do you know
that if you d*ed tomorrow,

you would be remembered

for Spooky and the Cop.

MICHAEL: Well, that's great.

That means I provided
joy to a lot of people.

You are an artist.

It rages in your blood.

I know your soul.

I remember what the f*re
was like on that stage.

Okay, I think you're
overselling it, darling.

The primal connection we
had before the success,

before the feuds and the tabloids.

Oh yeah, and the "People"
magazine interview

where you implied that I couldn't read.

I said I was sorry.

It's still on my Wikipedia page.

There's a whole subheading.

Michael, I'm desperate.

Please, I'm begging you.

I will do anything you want.

I will prostrate myself publicly.

But I need this.

Do you know what it's like for
an actress of a certain age?

You go from mom to senator

to dementia patient.

And, and I need the money.

Well, I'm sorry,
Kathleen. The answer's no.


But if you need some cash,
I could, I could ask Ava.

Oh, f*ck you!

And f*ck you, b*tch.

f*ck' f*ck!

- f*ck!
- AVA: Jesus Christ.


Oh God.

AVA: Michael, I keep asking you

to keep your pills on you.

What if I'm not here?

- Ava...
- Your heart.

It's just seeing Kathleen

makes my blood pressure spike.

I'll get a massage from Jean Marc.

- AVA: Darling.

Perhaps you should reconsider.

I worry.

You know, my money, my career,

all of... this.

You miss the limelight.

But with Kathleen?

Oh, come on.

It was years ago.

I'm sure you've both grown since then.


You manipulating, lying shrew!

Oh, grow up, you're a kept man.

You should be used to taking
direction from a woman.

There is no way

I'm letting you direct this damn play!

Whoops, I am.

And you would have known that

had you read your contract

or had someone read it to you.

Oh, okay, great. I'm in hell!

And get this dog off the stage

before I kick it for three points.

- Come here, Fosse.

WOMAN: Um, could we possibly discuss

my character's clubfoot
for just a moment?

Because I would feel personally
a lot more comfortable

if somebody from the clubfoot
community were advising.

- Oh God. Really?
- REBECCA: Yeah.

KATHLEEN: Just get out
there and hobble, honey.

That's the lunch menu, sir.

I'll have a club sandwich
with a side order of a g*n.

Um, uh, and also, Harry, if
it's not too much trouble,

thanks, could you get me
a hibiscus tea, please?

With milk. Um, but not almond milk.

I know people like it, but I'm allergic

to all tree nuts and legumes, actually.

- Of course, you are.
- Well, no, I am.

So if those dog treats
are peanut-based,

because they smell peanut-based

and they say peanut butter on them,

I could go into
anaphylactic shock actually.

Hold on. What the f*ck is that?


That thing on your lap.

What is it?

My script?

Would you like a representative

of the off-book community present?

You know, this is not a TikTok, baby.

This is my stage!

And you show up knowing
your g*dd*mn lines.

These f*cking millennials.

Don't worry. You're doing great.

You've already lasted
longer than John Stamos.

Where is my stage manager Bill?

- Phil.
- KATHLEEN: Okay, Bill,

we are going to run this play

the exact same way we did in .

The timing on my trapdoor
exit at the finale

must be exactly the same.

Well, we don't do
trapdoor drops anymore.

It, it isn't safe.

There's a -foot drop down

to a concrete floor underneath,
and union regulations state...

Okay, I did that drop
every night for one year.

Frank Rich called it "effective."

Okay, well, that was
a long time, uh, uh...

Say the word "ago."


KATHLEEN: Go ahead.

(WHISPERS): I want you to.

Um... I'll make it as safe as I can.

Don't knock yourself out, Phil.

Okay, everyone, come on.

We have four days to
make magic happen here.

Places, everybody.



KATHLEEN: Okay, people, to review...

Every time a m*llitary jet flies over,

I want everything on
this stage to shake.

Shake! You got it. Everything.

- CREW MEMBER: Yes, ma'am.
- Now, on the third flyover,

that is the cue for Michael's monologue.

If he can manage to h*t his mark.

Is that big enough? Can you see it?

Okay. Now, Bill.

Bill, I would like to
run through my monologue

all the way till the end
till the trapdoor fall.

(QUIETLY): It's Phil.

Yeah, we're ready! Everything's good!

KATHLEEN: It was cold
in Pensacola that winter.

Unnatural cold.

Frost that comes too
soon and stays too long.

Maybe forever.

- The mist rises up and...

Don't move!

The mist rises up and covers your toes.

Then you waste.


The waves.

They want to meet the clouds.

The mother and child reaching out...

- ... for each other...

Oh, g*dd*mn you!

- What the hell... !
- Hey, Kathleen.

Why don't you grab me some
extra thousand island dressing

while you're back there.


- Son of a b*tch!
- Mats work.

- Hey.

I almost broke my g*dd*mn neck!

- I'm done. I'm out. I quit.
- Good.

You walk out now, you're on the hook

for a $ , k*ll fee.

So maybe you want to talk
to your wife about it first.

The one who pays your allowance.

It's worth every penny!

KATHLEEN: You know, I'm not so sure,

because I think if she knew

about all your dalliances,
maybe not so much.

All right. You want some
mutually-assured destruction?

- Yeah.
- I got you, baby.

- Bring it.
- Because I'm working on my memoirs,

and I got a whole chapter about...

(WHISPERS): ... Acapulco.

You signed an NDA.

Yeah, well, now I got NFs to G.

All right, I'll do your damn play,

but I tell you this... the
doomsday clock is ticking.

And when the curtains
drop on this play tonight,

you can kiss your career goodbye.

You might want to check your prenup.

Because tomorrow,

Ava is getting a little info in the mail

about Chyna with a "Y."

I'm not bluffing.

I know.

You're not a good enough actor.

♪ ♪

Okay. Five minutes to
call, people. Five minutes.

- Found it.
- Thank you.

MICHAEL: I got you a seat
right up front so I can see you.

Lucky me.

Break a leg.

Ava. Ava darling.

I just wanted to thank you.


Well, I know that you convinced Michael

to do the play with me, and...

I just... thank you.

Oh, Kathleen. Oh.

No, see, I knew that
working with you would be

such a f*cking nightmare
that it would k*ll off

Michael's silly little acting bug

once and for all, and voilà.

- So, thank you.



That b*tch's teeth don't even match.

The f*ck is going on here?

- Break a leg, Michael.
- Oh!

Better not let Kathleen
catch you with those.

What is she going to do, f*re me?

- A man can dream.




No, that's a Phantom.

Don't know why they bother.

They say our boys will
be home by Christmas.

MICHAEL: What are you afraid of?

KATHLEEN: What will become of her?

I'm afraid that, that she has

too much of both of us inside her.

I'm afraid that she
has a g*n heart.

Like you.

Summer felt like
winter felt like spring.

f*cking hack!

Pathetic excuse for a man.

You ball-busting harpy.

Ow. Ouch. Ouch.

g*dd*mn son of a f*cking piece of shit.

washed-up has-been.

KATHLEEN: You pathetic preening prick!

You are such a failure.

You think you're an
actress? You're a joke.

A lying, philandering failure.

The whole crew used to laugh at you.

Actress? More like hacktress.

KATHLEEN: You impotent baby.

How the f*ck did I put up
with you all these years?


MICHAEL: You shriveled prune. Ah, ah!

KATHLEEN: Not as shriveled
as your tiny little d*ck!


You vain, backstabbing hag.

What kind of god!


Bobby, I want my heart to soar.

I will dance on your grave.

I'll piss on your grave.

KATHLEEN: It feels
like a storm is brewin'.

Did you close the windows, sweetheart?


Oh baby. I saw the Crawford
boy down the supermarket today.

He works at the base now.




- REBECCA: Stop it, Mama.
- KATHLEEN: Stop what?

Stop it! Just stop thinking

that any man would ever want me.

Oh, no, I didn't say
that about your foot.

- KATHLEEN: Oh no.

They say that there are two
types of men in Pensacola:

pilots, and the men who
keep 'em up in the air.

And if you forget, they'll remind you.

Some folks say that that's
why they fly their jets so low.

Make us spill our morning coffee.


Always looking up at the skies

in fear.

- Just to keep us in our place.

- WOMAN: Look out!





- Shit.



Ava! Ava!


- MAN: Oh, my God!

Oh no!

OFFICER: I think we've
got everything we need.

And again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

Oh, I'll give you guys some privacy.

I just want you to know
that "Spooky and the Cop"

made me choose a career
in law enforcement.

Thank you. I can't tell you
how many times I've heard that.

That was the performance of a lifetime.

You did it, darling.

We did it.

We did it.

♪ ♪

Come on, you threw a tip at a customer.

You know what, it was a dime.

And you ate someone's bacon.

They were ignoring me.

You are the worst
waitress I've ever had.

And I ran a cr*cker
Barrel in the Green Zone.

That last part was unnecessary.

But thank you for your service.

Okay. God.



Well, as firings go,

hardly my best work.

(PHIL CHUCKLES) Not bad for a matinée.

You happen to know anyplace else

that's looking for a subpar waitress

that doesn't require
paperwork or references?

Well, actually, half hours, good tips.

Mm, no benefits.

Seasonal work, so it pays cash.

I can put in a good word
for you if you're interested.

Well, that actually
sounds pretty perfect.

What's the catch?

- ♪ Philadelphia ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Am I helping ya? ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Who's your daddy?
And by that, I mean ♪

- ♪ Founding Father?
- ♪ Franklin ♪

- ♪ Who? Ben Franklin ♪
- ♪ You ♪

♪ It's no surprise ♪

♪ I'm healthy and wealthy and wise ♪

♪ I've been struck by lightning ♪

♪ Anyone can see ♪

♪ A great big storm
and a little old kite ♪

♪ Helped me find the key ♪

This is hell.

♪ I'm all about the Benjamin ♪

- ♪ Benjamin Franklin... ♪



KATHLEEN: Okay, people, to review...

Every time a m*llitary jet flies over,

I want everything on
this stage to shake.

Morning, Jer. Miss me?

Shh! I'm listening
to the tech rehearsal.

I'll take that as a yes. What is this...


... the big magilla they've
been working on all week.

That's Kathleen Townsend
and Michael Graves

doing "Ghosts of Pensacola" here.

I'm losing my shit.

Hey, hey. No, that's not food.

It's a prop. Prop food.

- Respect it.
- Well, this is, this is food.

This is food. You're nuts.

Listen up. No peanuts in anything.

The third banana onstage has an allergy.

It's our one-night-only
gala event.

It's a sellout, and I
don't get halibut every day.

(MUFFLED): So I need
everyone on their toes. Okay.



MAN: Wait. Charlie. No!


KATHLEEN: Oh, g*dd*mn you!

What the hell?!


Why don't you grab me some extra

thousand island dressing
while you're back there?

- What?

MICHAEL: Son of a b*tch!

PHIL: Mats work!

Bring me the Philistine.


Oh, please, God, no,
don't break another wig.

- Hey.
- Now you listen to me.

When an actor is performing,

you don't sneeze, you don't breathe.

You don't dump f*cking ice

in a f*cking frozé dispenser.

Okay, listen, lady, I,
I, I, I really. I just...

I'm just doing my job here.

What, do you think people
come here for the food?

Well, yeah. I mean, kind of.

Uh... You know, I'm just a waitress.

It's not really my fault that this
place came with a talking wall.

That stage is an altar

where we bare our souls

in search of the truth.

Now you will respect that, young lady,

or you can h*t the f*cking bricks.

The truth.

Wow. Uh, yeah, sorry.

I just, I happen to know a
thing or two about the truth,

so I'll tell you.

You got Patrick Swayze, "Roadhouse."

Jennifer Jason Leigh,
"Single White Female."

Christian Slater, "True Romance."

Truth, truth, truth. Now, you.

Uh, well, I did happen to catch

a few words through the rainstorm.

And I'll tell you the truth,
I didn't believe a single word.

In fact, I would say that
that's maybe the biggest batch

of bullshit I've heard in my whole,

yeah, whole entire life.

(EXHALES) Jesus.

I get it. I'll see myself out.

I haven't been spoken
to that way in years.


- Does this mean I'm not fired.
- KATHLEEN: Fired?

My God. What you're giving me is gold.

It's fuel.

I live off it. I use it.

And you're lucky you
took those earbuds out

because you're about to hear
the performance of a lifetime.

I love your work.



You survived a face full
of Kathleen Townsend, kid.

Uh, I mean, you seem
like a normal guy, Phil.

How are you putting up
with these theater people?

Well, you got to love 'em,
and you got to understand 'em.

I mean, what Kathleen said, she's right.

What happens on that
stage is a kind of magic.

And I get to see someone h*t with it,

truly transformed by it for
the first time every show.

That's probably why I keep doing it.

Well, you're a better man than me, Phil.

Well, everything I said and, but also,

Jack Daniels

is my dramaturg.

Now you see, this is the kind
of pep talk I can get behind.

(CHUCKLES) One night only, kid.

After opening, this is all over.

(EXHALES) To opening night.


(AVA WHISPERING): Excuse me, darling.

Can you get me absolutely shit-faced?

Oh, you'll never see
the bottom of that glass.

MICHAEL: You mean like you?

Summer felt like winter

felt like spring.

Makes you miss the hip-hop Ben Franklin.

I didn't know what the
seasons felt like...

... you washed-up has-been.

You pathetic, preening prick!

Glad someone's riveted.

MICHAEL: ... actress. You're a joke.

Kathleen and Michael
are fighting backstage,

and they forgot to turn off their mics.

KATHLEEN: ... failure.

MICHAEL: The whole crew
used to laugh at you.

- You weren't kidding.
- MICHAEL: Actress? More like hacktress.

Hold on, if we can hear this,

you realize who else can hear it, right?

REBECCA: And I always
ask myself, why, God, why?

- But Bobby always made me feel...
- MICHAEL: Prune!

KATHLEEN: Not as shriveled
as your tiny little d*ck!


MICHAEL: You vain, backstabbing hag.

Who's talking? Is that the ghost?

That's all I've ever wanted.

Oh. Feels like a storm is brewin'.

I saw the Crawford boy
down the supermarket today.

He asked about you.

- Thanks.
- REBECCA: Oh, stop it, Mama!

Stop thinking that any
man would ever want me.

- k*ll me.

MICHAEL: There are two
kinds of men in Pensacola...

pilots, and the men who
keep 'em up in the air.

And if you forget, they'll remind you.

Watch Kathleen.

MICHAEL: Some folks say that's why...

She's so present.

Look at her.

Fear and anticipation in her eyes.


Yeah, you're right.

This is the first time
I've really believed her.


Look out!


- AVA: Michael!
- Oh!




MICHAEL: Ava! Ava!


CHARLIE: I mean, look,
it's not your fault.

A woman fell to her death on my stage.

How is it not my fault?

Because it was a crazy accident, okay?

I mean, just think about all the things

that had to go wrong.

The light fell. Michael
had a heart att*ck.

His wife ran up with his pills

after I poured her a bottle
of the good stuff, by the way.

If any one of those
things hadn't happened,

you and me will be
outside by the dumpsters

ranking Christopher
Nolan movies right now.

No, as soon as the curtain goes up,

it's all my responsibility.

I guess I'm lucky.

All the cops had to
do is check my thermos,

and I'd be sitting in a cell.

Come on. I know you.

It was just a little Irish coffee

to take the edge off, right?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Maybe I'm a lightweight now.

I know I checked that
bolt and those pads.

It's the last thing I remember before...

Oh God.

(CRYING) Oh God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Jesus. Should you be leaving those out?

Baby, I'm an actress.

If I didn't have a bottle of
Ambien in my dressing room,

people would ask questions.

Yeah, it's too bad about Phil.

It's not like he's in jail or anything.

He just went a little overboard.

Wow. You really missed your
window for playing a femme fatale.

Now, I can remind the whole world

what Kathleen Townsend can do.

And the world is watching.

What are you talking about?

We are trending, baby.

Right now,

people are watching us.

They are really watching.

And I never got to deliver my monologue.

- No.
- Yes.

One last performance. Tonight.

- No.
- For Ava.

- No.
- For Ava.

f*ck that.

What happened to we hide
out overseas for a year

and then reemerge confessing our love.

You wrote the script, baby.

I know. I wrote it.

- And now I'm flipping it.
- No.

I'm flipping the script entirely.

Yes. Your tragedy is
what drew us together.

It's risky.

Oh, baby...

don't you want to be together right now?

- Yes.
- Hmm?

Don't you think we should start spending

some of that She Trade money.

- Oh yes.
- Hmm?

The spotlight's ours, baby.

Let's get it while it's hot.

So let me get this straight,

a woman dies right in our faces

and instead of giving
us grief counseling,

we have to work.

Theater people are so strong.

I don't know, it just, it,
it doesn't make any sense.

I mean, the dude had a coronary,

and then his wife d*ed.

Like, what doctor signed off on this?

Find a seat for Sheriff Ed.

He's some crazy "Spooky
and the Cop" fan.

It's a sellout. If he
doesn't have a ticket...

Give the lawman what he wants.

He just dealt with the
richest woman in Connecticut

getting k*lled by a drunk stagehand.

Oh, come on. Bullshit.

Thin ice.

Get out there and keep your job.



What do you want?

Oh, don't worry about Fosse.

He's very well-behaved today.

So I thought it was weird

that Michael was going over
his dialogue for the show

since he didn't miss a
single line in rehearsal.

So I checked in his coat
pocket and lo and behold,

this is not dialogue from
"Ghosts of Pensacola."

This is the fight
that the two of you had

during my monologue.

The fight that you used
to cover up Ava's m*rder.

Sweetheart, Michael
and I are workshopping

a new play by a brilliant new writer,

and we're running lines backstage.

That might fly if I had seen

the two of you backstage together.

But I didn't. You were gone.

And my monologue gave
you just enough time

to sabotage the light and the trapdoor.

So you did it.

You watch too much "Dateline."

REBECCA: No, but I have been watching

a heck of a lot of "Spooky and the Cop."

And this exact thing happens

in season six, episode
, "Exit Stage Death."

You lazy assholes didn't even
bother to change the dialogue.

So, um... here's my price.

And here is my bank info.

So if that money is not in my account

by the end of the play tonight,

I'm going to the police.

Oh, and one last thing.

I k*lled that f*cking monologue, okay?

So don't you ever upstage me again.

f*cking boomers.

Okay, what are we going to do?

We have to pay. We have no choice.




Just delivering the prop food.

Oh, I belong here.

Yeah. Okay, sir, prop food.


(MAN ON RADIO): Ten minutes to curtain.

Ten minutes to curtain.

Phil's preshow checklist.

Oh shit. I got to do the checklist.


He ticked off the flappy
door checkbox before the show.

- It's here.
- HARRY: So?

If he secured the flappy door,

that means that someone unsecured it.

That means it wasn't Phil's fault

and it wasn't an accident.

Is anyone else besides Kathleen

supposed to go through that flappy door?

Her big trapdoor moment?
Are you kidding me?

That means that Kathleen was the target.

I gotta text Phil.

Oh, my God.

- Hey.
- It's Charlie.

It wasn't your fault.

It was sabotage. S-A-B-O-O...

- That doesn't seem right.
- The show is about to start.

Oh, my God, dude, dude,
we just figured out

that someone is trying to k*ll Kathleen.

Now you're going to give them
another whack at the piñata.

But the show is about to start!


Oh, if it isn't my fiercest critic.

Are you here to give me some
notes before my swan song?

CHARLIE: It wasn't Phil's fault.

He was framed.

So I think someone drugged him

and futzed with the floor door.

I mean, I don't know why,

but I think you were the target.


You're the only one who was
supposed to stand on it, so...

I walk across it many times

and did not fall through.

My blocking is very vigorous.

- Okay, uh...
- Look,

things happen in the
theater all the time.

Entire sets collapse.

Live wires get exposed,

they electrocute actors.

But we persevere.

Hey, I-I'm so sorry. I don't
think you're hearing me.

Someone's trying to k*ll you.

I'm not going to let
you go back out there.


I'm already on.

Now get out of my room.



- Tomcat?

No, that's a Phantom.

I don't know why they bother.

They say our boys will
be home by Christmas.


(WHISPERING): Listen, is that Phil?

Give me that.

- Phil, Phil.
- PHIL: Hey.

Listen, I, I, I don't get it.

I mean, the bolt must have been in place

until Ava walked across it.

Did you see anybody else down there?

PHIL: Nobody.

Look, Charlie, I appreciate

what you're trying to
do, but just let it go.

CHARLIE: No can do, Phil.

I'm like De Niro at
the end of "Heat," man.

So stay tuned.

I need to see the video
of last night's show.

Well, be my guest.
Take the curse off me.

It's like the video from "The Ring,"

but with Phil gone,
I'm the stage manager

and I have nothing to
go on except this video

and Phil's notes from last night.

CHARLIE: Hey, hey, hey.

What is that?

Is that smoke?

HARRY: Looks like dry ice.

Where do you keep this, uh, dry ice?


Ow! Ow! Ow!

MAN: You okay?

Jesus. I-I got to talk to Kathleen.

Hey, wait. Stop!

See that? It's a sight line.

You can't cross it, you're in the play.

KATHLEEN: Bobby was my unexpected gift.

Shameful as it was,

I loved him so.

He liked the stars that moved fast,

like his aircraft.

CHARLIE: Hey, I figured it out.

The bolt was dry ice.

Excuse me. That means
that someone definitely...

The crickets are certainly very active.

... off! Off the stage.

Oh, these crickets are wild.

Off the stage.

They need to stop, the crickets.

- CHARLIE: Get off the stage.
- You need to stop now.

You need to get off the stage.

- Um, Garrett...
- Jesus!

... what are you doing smoking
that filthy thing in the house.

You'll give Daisy pleurisy
if you don't watch out.

Mother, I smoke.

Does that shock you?

That's right. I smoke cigarettes.

Your daughter, your little girl.

- Thank God.
- REBECCA: It suits me. It calms my spirit...

- Hey!
- ... and it eases my mind.

Uh, yeah, well, looks like we got us

a real smoker, Savannah.

Good for you, Daisy.
Hey, what are you doing?

I myself enjoy smoking

by the window over here.

Let me go. Let me go!

Smoke is going to be
the death of all of us.

I know what let's do...

let's bake something together.

A key lime pie.

Like when you were a little girl.

I'm not a little girl anymore, Mama.

CHARLIE: It was Michael!

His fingers are b*rned from the dry ice

he used to rig the floor.

There's supposed to be
milk in here somewhere.

Oh, there.

Michael was on stage the entire time.

No, the chubby foot monologue,
that was three minutes.

- He could have...
- Our argument.

Everyone heard it. You heard it.

Now, what the f*ck are
you even talking about?

You almost caught the bus, lady.

That falling light saved your life.

... if I were a refrigerator,
would you pay attention to me?

Exactly. And do you think he
rigged the light to k*ll himself?

The light?

MICHAEL: ... watching
life like his old man!

Why did I push Bobby? Why?

You only told him to aim high.

Isn't that what we all
want for our children?


But when I saw him in those dress blues.

KATHLEEN: Oh, that boy was born to fly.

Was he happy, our son?

Was he happy?

KATHLEEN: Oh, baby,
you and I both know that

Bobby was never happy

other than when he was up
there flying with the birds...

If that matters. If anything matters.

I love you.

That matters.

The truth.

I love you, too.

Hey, hey, chubby foot.

Uh, we've got a situation here.

Who are you? Did you just
come down from the lights?

It doesn't matter. So I thought

that Michael was
trying to k*ll Kathleen,

but I was wrong.

It was his wife, and
they were in it together.

Michael and Kathleen.

You see, they don't hate each other.

- They love each other.
- Why are you telling me this?

- I'm about to go on.
- Oh, because...

Excuse me. You can prove it.

You see, it was during
your foot club speech thing.

He was futzing with the flappy door,

and she, she was messing with the light.

What was it? Three minutes, right?

Yes. But I saw the two of
them backstage together,

so they couldn't possibly
have done it, okay.

So... will you leave me
alone. I have to go on.

Wait, why are you lying?

Wait, are you in love with him too?

Will you please leave me alone?

Are you a thruple?

- Shit.
- REBECCA: Mama.

Do you think Billy
Crawford will come calling?

Oh, I could call his mother
and ask her, couldn't I?

No, never mind, Mama.
Forget I mentioned it.


Do you think there could
be a sign or somethin'?

♪ ♪


f*cking actors, man.

Chubby foot. Very hardcore.



Quiet, quiet, hey!

Who wants a yummy, yummy

little peanut butter treat?

Oh shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

KATHLEEN: Look, honey, I
made you a little snack.

CHARLIE: Oh, Jesus.

- Thank you, Mama.
- CHARLIE: Oh shit.


Who eats the prop?

- Which actor eats the Chex Mix?
- Rebecca.

No, they put peanut butter in
it. They're gonna k*ll again.


MICHAEL: I was so young.

Florida State was
looking for a fullback.

Coach was scouting me.

You think I wanted to get married at ?

KATHLEEN: Do you think I did?

♪ ♪




I am, I am a ghost of Pensacola.

Uh, and you are not here to eat.

You are here to talk
about your chubby foot

and, uh, feelings.

Do not let your mother

poison your spirit...

and drive you nuts.

And now I will return

to the spirit realm of Pensacola.


(SPOOKILY): Goodbye!


What, why are you looking at me?

- What'd I do? What'd I say?
- Listen, Rebec...

I mean, Daisy. Listen, Daisy.

I had nothing to do with your mom...

- Mama.

Daddy. You already lost one child,

and you almost lost another one.

So now, the price of
my love has doubled,

and I demand to see it immediately.

Are you f*cking kidding me? Immediately!

Summer felt like winter...

How could you do that
without talking to me first?

What? Oh, yes.


What were you thinking?

Someone had to do it.

MICHAEL: You're insane.

We could have paid her
off. This would all be over.

Oh, don't be so naive.

She would have just come back for more.

Hey, Sheriff. Never
meet your heroes, right?

years planning your wife's m*rder

to get shafted by a f*cking day player.

I will shove that peanut butter

down that Juilliard
b*tch's throat if I have to.

No. Okay, look, that's it.

We're going to pay her off, all right.

I'm going to call my business manager.

He is going to have a fit.

KATHLEEN: Michael,
what the f*ck is that?


What in the hell?

Oh... shit.

We're f*cked.

They heard everything.

What do I do now?

We use it.

Showtime, baby.

I used to wait for
that parade every year.

Independence Day.

For who? From what?

Bobby's real daddy went
down over the Sea of Japan.


July th, .

An aviator.


Why did you take Bobby?

He was better than me in every way!


KATHLEEN: It was cold
in Pensacola that winter.

Unnatural cold.

Frost that comes too early

means to stay too long,

maybe forever.

The mists rise up.

They cover your ankles, then your waist.

The sea longs to reach the clouds.

Mother and child reachin'
out for each other.

When my sweet Bobby went up...

he always took me with him.

And so it follows that that day,

I, too, went down.

That cold winter.

This winter.

The mists up to the lashline.

Ice on the wing is mist
on the ground, is tears.

The mist rises up,

and I kneel down to meet it.

And so now I too become

just another ghost...

of Pensacola.



MAN: Bravo!

- MAN: Bravo!

♪ I'm just ♪

♪ A Broadway Baby ♪

♪ Walking off my tired feet ♪

♪ Pounding nd Street ♪

♪ To be in a show ♪

♪ Oh ♪


♪ Broadway Baby ♪

♪ Learning how to sing and dance ♪

♪ Waiting for that one big chance ♪

♪ To be in a show ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Gee ♪

♪ ♪
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