01x04 - Potatoes

[bunniefuu]

[GRACE] Hey, this is
Grace. Leave me a message.

[VOICE MAIL TONE]

Grace, hey. It's Jimmy. Again.
But you know that, right?

That's why you sent me
straight to voice mail.

So give me a call, okay? Bye.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Hey, Derek.

Morning, Jimmy.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, Liz hogs the
bathroom in the morning,

so sometimes I come out here to pee.

Not a bad way to start the
day, peeing in the rain.

Oh, it's a great way.

Feels like the wind's
coming from the east.

Hey, I heard you went
to that cornhole bar.

- Was it amazing?
- It was fine.

They had, uh... They had
booze and mediocre food.

- Two cornhole stations.
- Two? Awesome.

[LIZ] Derek, are you
out there peeing again?

No, just talking to Jimmy.

The wink made it weird.

You got good eyes, Jimmy.

[CHUCKLES]

Did he seem mad at me?

Nope, you're good.

Okay. Stop peeing in the flowers.

- Oh, it's just a little tinkle.
- Oh, stop it.

Just a little tinkle.

These are apology bagels. I
didn't mean to narc on you.

When I ran into Paul, I assumed
he knew that Sean had moved in.

[SIGHING] Yeah. You really f*cked me.

I mean, it's fine, but you f*cked me.

It's fine. But yeah, you f*cked me.

I'm sorry.

I hate getting people in trouble
when they don't deserve it.

Mmm. And when they do deserve it?

- Well, that's my favorite thing.
- [CHUCKLES]

Honestly, don't sweat it. Paul
never stays mad at me. It'll be fine.

- I'm glad. See ya.
- Mmm. Okay. But you f*cked me!

[LIZ] I got it.

[PAUL] Uh, yeah. I'm excited to see you.

Come by the office, and then
we'll go over to the apartment.

All right. See you
then. Bye, sweetheart.

Whoa. Who's your sweetheart?
And is she a sexy bitch?

She's my daughter.

My bad.

Hey, is she single? 'Cause,
you know, since the divorce,

I've been thinking about
trying some new thangs.

[LAUGHS] I'm just kidding. I'm
trying to make you uncomfortable.

- You're very good at that.
- Thank you. Now get in the car.

Can we play that song I like?

["EVERY MORNING" PLAYING]

[GABY VOCALIZING]

[SONG CONTINUES]

- [SONG FADES]
- [JIMMY SIGHS]

Where should we start?

Why do we come all the way here
when we could just talk at home?

Sean,

my notebook's here.

["FRIGHTENING FISHES" BY
BENJAMIN GIBBARD PLAYING]

[INHALES SHARPLY] Have
you told your folks

that you're crashing with me?

Nah. They'd be pretty weirded out

if they knew I lived with my therapist.

Yeah, I'll acknowledge it's
pretty f*cking weird. [SIGHS]

Okay. I gotta say, man,
you seem lighter, energized.

- Let's dig a little deeper? [SIGHS]
- Nah.

I'm sorry. That's totally my fault

for making that sound like a question.

I meant to go down at the
end. Let's dig a little deeper.

Sean, we haven't talked at all
about your time in Afghanistan.

I ain't gonna lie, Jimmy, I've
been feeling pretty f*cking good.

Okay? Like, why would we f*ck with that?

That's my job, dude. I got a
degree in f*cking With That.

[GROANS]

From the University of
All Up In Your Business.

It's actually a junior
college. I'll stop.

Look, we can't run from this forever.

Not yet.

[SIGHS] Okay.

- Thank you. [SIGHS]
- We'll get there. No pressure.

See you at home, man.

Hi, I'm Gaby. I'm a therapist here.

You were originally referred to me,

and then I actually
referred you to Jimmy.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Um... [SMACKS LIPS]
so, um, how's it going?

Good. Initially, I didn't
really like this therapy sh*t,

but... [SIGHS] ...
now I-I kinda like it.

I am so glad. [CHUCKLES]

So how come you ditched me on to him?

Honestly, I felt like you guys
would be a good fit for each other.

And, like, maybe you guys
could help each other out.

Cool. Always wanted to help out
a wealthy, middle-aged white guy.

Well, it's good to give
back, so... [CHUCKLES]

Hey. Morning. You a potato girl?

No, Paul. I am a strong,
Black, potato woman.

What are we doing here?

My farm box came with
way too many potatoes.

Wait, you get your produce
delivered to the office now?

I have so many questions.

Are you a secret chef? Do you,
like, cook here? Can you teach me?

[INHALES SHARPLY] Do you want
the f*cking potatoes, or not?

What the hell I'ma do with two potatoes?

I'll take potatoes if
you're giving them out.

- There you go. Hey, take two.
- Ooh. All right.

Hey, so I was just, uh...
[SIGHS] just in there with Sean,

and I feel like it's time
to start unpacking his PTSD.

But he-he won't talk about any of it.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's
pretty common with veterans.

I'm just... I'm
wondering when he'll feel

comfortable opening up, you know?

That's easy. Never.

You f*cked up. Created
a dual relationship.

He thinks of you as his friend/roommate,
instead of his therapist.

Well, uh, do you think it
might be helpful if I, uh,

- ask him to reset our boundaries...
- [IMITATES BUZZER SOUND]

Sorry... [CHUCKLES]
Did you just buzz at me?

I did.

I told you not to go down that path

with your patients and you did anyway.

Fine. Doesn't mean I
have to go with you.

I'm not gonna talk to
you about any of it.

But you'll talk to me about potatoes.

All day long. Enjoy them spuds, bud.

Boil 'em, bake 'em, fry 'em,

rub 'em together and
make a fire. I don't care.

Maybe I'll just eat them like
an apple, Paul. [CHUCKLES]

[WHISPERS] Stop.

Woof.

- [SIGHS]
- Electrolytes.

I didn't ask. [SIGHS]

What's he doing here?

[PAUL GROANS]

New plant? What is that,
a fern? Is that a...

- I have no idea.
- Okay.

Oh. Great. [CHUCKLES, INHALES SHARPLY]

Why are you here?

Yeah. Just dropping off the revisions
I've done to your estate plan

since in the last three years,

you haven't returned
a call, e-mail or text.

- Aha.
- That's not something to be proud of.

[CHUCKLES] Should we go over this now?

It's not really a good time.
My daughter's coming by.

Aw, girl dad! Love it.

[SIGHS]

N-Nothing? Nothing to add? Okay.

She's giving a talk
on alternative energy.

She's got a quick turnover,

so she's only got a few
hours to spend with me.

Well, this is serendipitous.
One of my favorite words.

I'll wait here, and have her sign
your medical power of attorney.

- I don't think so.
- What? No. Oh...

Well, given your diagnosis, I don't...

I don't recommend stalling on that.

Is attorney-client privilege
only for criminal lawyers,

or is it for pretend lawyers as well?

Estate law is real
law. I'm a real lawyer.

- Yes or no?
- Yeah.

Cone of silence.

Meg doesn't know that
I have Parkinson's.

So, are you two not on good terms?

Cone of silence.

- Stop saying that.
- Okay.

Her mother and I split
when she was little.

They moved to the East
Coast. We drifted. [SIGHS]

Um, it was hard to keep in touch.

Why? Was it before phones
or planes existed? [CHUCKLES]

Sorry. You're opening
up, and I'm ruining it.

Your self-awareness is
your best characteristic.

So you really think it's
important that I do this now?

Yeah.

[SIGHS] Okay. I'll tell her,
and I'll get these signed.

Great. Do you wanna mail
these documents back to me,

or drop them off at my office downtown?

No, actually, I'd rather have somebody
come by my place and pick 'em up

- and spare me the hassle.
- Okay.

But I can have my
assistant, Kevin, do it.

Kevin. Kevin!

Kevin.

I'm Kevin, aren't I?

Okay. I will see you soon.

- [GRUNTS]
- Thanks for dropping in.

- Oh, my pleasure.
- Unannounced.

Oh, well, I did. I
called, emailed and texted.

[SOFTLY] So...

- [LIZ] Hey, cutie.
- [ALICE] Hey.

- I heard you dribbling. I'm open.
- Okay.

- Nice!
- Three boys.

Oh, actually, Connor's coming
home from college tonight.

- Tell him I said what's up.
- I will.

- Hey, Liz. Hi.
- Hey, Gab.

Just gonna sh**t around with Alice
with the new basketball I got her.

Oh, right.

I remember the basketball
you said you got her.

- That's right.
- That's great.

- Well, you guys have fun.
- Thank you.

Yeah, cool. It's really good to see you.

Oh, my God. Great to see you.

- Yeah. Nice kicks.
- Thank you. They're Jordans.

- Great. Good for you.
- Yeah.

- [LIZ] See you guys.
- [GABY] Mm-hmm.

- Pleasure.
- Just a plesh.

Holy sh*t. You guys hate each other.

- Shut up and sh**t the ball.
- [CHUCKLES]

[GABY] Okay, okay.

[WALLY] This is it. Um, do
you mind taking your shoes off?

It's not an OCD thing, I
used to live in Japan, so...

Pretty sure you told me
you never left Pasadena.

[SIGHS] Okay, fine. It is an OCD thing,

but you know, the
Japanese are no dummies.

Okay. [SIGHS] Here I go.

I'm gonna sit on your
sofa in the same jeans

that I just wore to sit
on that park bench. Okay?

- Now it's your turn.
- I need to put on my inside clothes.

These are outside
clothes. I-I just can't.

- It's...
- Hey. Yes, you can.

- Just come sit here next to me. Come on.
- [SIGHS] Okay.

- Open your eyes.
- I'm scared.

I know you are, but
I'm right here with you.

- How's that feel?
- It's okay.

I mean, sh*t, Wally.

Looks like you might
be able to do anything.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Wally, you are incredible.

- Oh! Oh, no. Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
- Oh, my God.

- I didn't see it coming.
- I'm so sorry!

I'm so dumb.

- Don't panic.
- I don't know what I was thinking.

I think I misread the
signs because you came over

and then you called me incredible,

and I know that I'm
not incredible. It's...

Hey, hold on. Wally, you are incredible.

- And I... No, Wally. Not again. Not again.
- Oh, my God!

This is the worst day of my life.

You know, it used to be sh1tting
my pants in a Whole Foods,

and I mean it went everywhere,
okay? But now this is it.

- And I'm just freaking out!
- Okay, don't freak out. You know why?

- Because this... this happens all the time.
- [GROANS] Really?

Nope, never happened before in my
life. But that's okay, we're good.

- Oh, my God. I'm a demented freak.
- You are not. You are not. Hey, stop it!

It's okay because I'm f*cking
proud of what we accomplished today.

g*dd*mn it and son of a bitch.

Listen... [SIGHS] ... you
don't need to be upset.

- Do I look upset?
- No.

Ooh, but I don't trust it.
It's too much eye contact.

f*ck!

- You just forgot your shoes, so...
- Thanks.

- That's why I yelled, "f*ck!"
- Okay, bye.

- Here, boo.
- Thanks.

Whoa, who's Connor?

- Nosy.
- Yeah, I know. [CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, Liz's son.

Ugh, God. Of course she
has a son named Connor.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, he's home from college.

- He's a college boy?
- College boy.

Is he a certified hottie?

Are you thinking about
giving him a little smooch?

- Oh, been there, done that.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- What base?

Uh, I f*cked him.

- Oh, so last base?
- Yeah, it was my idea.

We were studying in Connor's
room, and Liz was making lasagna.

And I was like,

"Hey, do you wanna maybe
lose our virginities

so we can get it over with?"

And he was like, "Cool. Do
you want me to light a candle?"

- Oh, no. Come on, Connor, not a candle.
- I know.

But it's whatever. I'm glad it happened.

- That's good. Great.
- Yeah.

Your mom had the sex
talk with you, right?

Like, she told you stuff like, you
know, make sure you pee afterward.

- Mmm. Yeah.
- Stuff like that? Good.

Mom talked to me about it all.

Like, birth control and...

[INHALES SHARPLY] ... making
sure you're emotionally ready.

And she also said that
if the penis is weird,

- you can change your mind.
- Yes, that is true.

'Cause there are a lot of
weird peepees out there.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, your mom was the best.

Did she tell you that, if
things are taking too long,

you could always end things
with a finger in the butt?

I'm sorry, what?

- [IMITATES FART]
- Is that his butt or my butt?

Any butt involved.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- [KNOCKS]
- Hi. Sorry. I'm looking for Paul Rhoades.

So there's a, um, waiting
room just around the corner.

If you flick a switch, it'll
let him know you're here.

Oh, I'm not a patient.
He's my dad. I'm Meg.

Holy sh*t!

- You're, uh... You're Connecticut Meg.
- Oh.

[BREATHES HEAVILY] Hi.
Wow. I'm, uh... I'm Jimmy.

Pasadena Jimmy.

Okay. Sure. Yeah.

- It's so good to finally meet you.
- You too.

Oh, my God. I've heard a ton about you.

Not really, but I would've liked to.

- [MEG LAUGHS]
- Paul's the office next door.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Why do you have potatoes on your table?

Well, Meg, your dad
threw 'em at me. [SIGHS]

- Oh. So you guys are close?
- Hard to say. [CHUCKLES]

- Yeah, I understand.
- Oh, yeah.

There's a bite out of one of them.

He made me real mad,

and so I-I ate one passive
aggressively raw, like an apple.

Paul! Paul, look who I found.

- Hi, Dad.
- Meg.

Got a... Got a great
daughter here, Paul. [SIGHS]

I'm so relieved you think so.

f*cking guy.

I'm just saying, nobody should
be allowed to leave the table

- unless everybody's eaten. You know?
- Mm-hmm. Agreed.

Full three-course meal.
Snack, snack, snack.

- [GABY LAUGHS]
- What are you guys talking about?

The female orgasm.

- Well, those aren't real.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

[CHUCKLES] Oh, thank God
you laughed at that. Yeah.

How did you, uh, stumble
into that topic? [CHUCKLES]

I think maybe, actually,
h-he could handle this.

And maybe you should give
him a chance to be cool dad.

Oh. I have had such a crappy day.

You have no idea how badly I
need to be cool dad right now.

I can... I can do it. I'm
gonna f*cking nail it. Let's go.

Okay.

Okay. Um, I was... I was
just telling Gaby about

how before Connor went to
college, we sort of slept together.

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

And you're okay of it... with it?

Yeah.

Did you use protection?

Of course.

[BREATHES SHAKILY] And
did he use protection?

Yes. Yeah. Yes.

[SIGHS] I appreciate you
two telling me about that.

Thanks, Cool Dad.

Oh, I didn't nail it.

I'm honestly... I'm
just glad you told him.

Really? Why?

'Cause it was either you or me.

Oh, hey, Jimmy.

Christ, you're everywhere. [SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES] If only.

Are you okay?

[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Not now. Not now, Liz.

Well, I can see you're upset.

Hello?

- Hello over there?
- You can't help yourself, can you?

You gotta butt in.

Okay. All right. Let's...
Let's do this, Liz.

You know how you're always
criticizing me about my parenting?

- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay.

Guess what I just found out?

Somebody had sex with Alice.

I can't tell you who because I
don't want to betray her trust,

but I'll let you guess.

It was Connor.

Oh, boy.

"Oh, boy." Is that
all you got? "Oh, boy."

[LIZ] I don't know. It makes sense.

They spent so much time together.

- I mean...
- My head f*cking hurts, Liz.

And lately, every time it
hurts, it's because of you.

Except for once, I hit my head on
the medicine cabinet. That was me.

The rest, you. Thank you.

Thank you for having my little
daughter over there all the time.

I appreciate it. She was vulnerable.
Your son took advantage of her!

- That is not fair. Connor is so not the...
- You know what? I'm not done yet.

Work was a sh*t show today too.

I got one patient avoiding me.

I got one who won't open up to
me. I got one who made out with me.

I know you're not a mental
health specialist, Liz,

but that's not good.

Normally, I would figure
this out with Paul.

But because of you, he's only
talking to me about potatoes!

You forgave me for that!

You're unforgiven.

Stay on your side of the fence, Liz.

You know what? From now on,
you're banned from my house.

- Banned?
- You're banned!

You are banned and unforgiven.

I have to go inside now because
I'm marching and pounding.

And I'm so, so mad!

- Jimmy.
- I am so mad, Liz.

Whatever you are looking
for, it's not here.

Liz? Liz's purpose?

Liz's purpose, are you
here? Liz's purpose?

It's not here! Go find your
own purpose, your own friends.

I mean, sh*t, Liz. Get a life!

[SCOFFS] Oh, g... Great. [SIGHS]

- So, how's your mom? Yeah.
- She's good.

She's bouncing around
with her guy in Europe.

- Am I gonna have to learn this one's name?
- They've been married for six years.

I'll just call him "buddy."

[CHUCKLES] Oh, I... I brought you, um,

- a new photo of Mason.
- Oh.

Oh, wow. [SIGHS]

- He's a handsome kid.
- Yeah. [SIGHS] He looks like his dad.

No. He looks like you.

- That's what I was fishing for.
- Beautiful.

- [LAUGHS] I'll take it.
- Yeah.

- It's been too long.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]

How about if I find
some time next month,

then I could stay with
you guys for a bit?

Yeah... [STAMMERS]
well, that would be...

that would be great.

But, um, Mason's got lacrosse camp,

and... and Dave's mom is staying
with us until her foot heals.

- What's wrong with her foot?
- Nobody knows.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Hey, look, I really would
like to see more of you guys.

Okay. Well, we will find the time.

[PHONE CHIMES]

My car is almost here.

So, how is everything
else? Are you feeling okay?

Everything good health wise?

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

Everything's great. Just great.

Good. And are you still dating
that art history professor?

- No.
- Oh, no! What happened?

- She sounded nice.
- She wanted me to go to Burning Man.

- How dare she?
- [CHUCKLES]

Uh, can I... Oh, I'm gonna
clean up before I go. Okay?

- No. I got it. Leave it.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

You want me to kick Jimmy's ass?

No, it's okay.

Good, I love that guy.

- Hey! There he is. How's it going, buddy?
- Hey, Dad.

- Hey, Mom. [CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
- Hi. Hi. [GIGGLES, SIGHS]

That's a long hug.

I'm just so happy to see you.

And I'm making your
favorite pasta for dinner.

I was thinking I was
gonna hit the Jacuzzi,

and then grab some tacos with
the boys and go to Theo's.

Yeah, of course. Have fun.

- Hey, what's the new dog's name?
- That is sh*t Rat.

- Who's a good little sh*t Rat? It's you.
- [GROWLS]

Yeah. Awesome. [INHALES SHARPLY]

Great to see him. Needs a haircut.

What?

I've just never seen a grown
man on a trampoline before.

Not even at Cirque du Soleil?

Knee drop.

Wow.

I'm just trying to work out
some f*cking simmering rage.

Aight. Anything I can do to help?

Yeah.

What happened to you
when you were overseas?

What?

Look, I cannot help you
if you don't talk to me.

I'm tired of you not opening up.

Let's do this.

What happened to "no pressure"?

[SIGHS] I don't know, man. Come on.

I just really need a win today.

What do you say?

f*ck you. That's what I say.

- f*ck me?
- I know you heard me, James. f*ck you.

You know what?

If I wasn't your therapist,
I'd say f*ck you too!

I can do it. I can do
it. I can do it both ways.

Jumping. Jumping. f*ck you. Jumping.

[GABY] Hey, Liz.

Hey.

- Hey, Gaby. [SIGHS]
- This is cool.

So, how does this work?

The whole rock tumbling thing?

I, uh, go for hikes,

hunt for agates, bring
'em home, rinse 'em off,

pick out the good ones,
cut them with my saw,

tumble them for two months,

and then I put them in
glass jars in my bathroom

because it looks pretty
when the light comes in.

I get it. So, like, for you
this is all just like meditating.

No. It's not like
meditating. It's like rocks.

What do you want?

[STAMMERS, SIGHS]

I overheard Jimmy, um,

ripping into you earlier,

and you didn't deserve that.

Everyone thinks I'm just a mom. I'm not.

I'm super cool.

I take photographs only on film.

People want my playlists.

I have tiny tattoos.

This one's my favorite.
It's a Belgian loafer.

That's actually really
f*cking sick, Liz.

Thank you. And I do have friends.

It's just that my best friend got
divorced and moved to Australia.

And we try to keep in touch,

but I don't know what
f*cking time it is over there.

- Do you?
- Yeah. No. Who cares, also?

And that's okay, 'cause I have Derek.

And I love Derek so much.
But he's retiring soon,

and I can only love him for,
like, an hour and minutes a day.

It can't just be him
following me from room to room,

asking me stupid questions about
how things in the house work.

And maybe I did get too
invested in Alice. Okay?

Maybe I did. I just don't understand

how stepping in and
looking after a young girl,

who no one was taking care
of, makes me the assh*le.

Look, that's a lot. Okay?

- You wanna get f*cking drunk?
- Very badly.

Gotta get this off my chest. I lied.

I didn't have a basketball that day.

Thank you. [CLICKS TONGUE] I lied.

Doing rocks is exactly like meditating.

- I know, honey. I know.
- Okay.

[MESSAGE SEND TONE]

[TRAMPOLINE BOUNCING]

I know what you did.

I kept out all the medical
power of attorney forms.

Everything else is signed.

Oh. [INHALES DEEPLY] So you
weren't able to tell her?

It got complicated. [SIGHS]

Yeah? [INHALES DEEPLY] Um...

- Don't sit down. It's over.
- Right. [STAMMERS] Um...

Hey, I'm no therapist, but I have...

I have dealt with
th-this kind of an issue

- with a lot of my clients.
- Have you?

And... [STAMMERS] May I say one thing?

- [SCOFFS] Speak.
- Can I... Is it o...

- Is it okay...
- Oh, Jesus. Sit.

Yeah, thanks. I'll be... Um...

If you're worried that sh-she
won't come through for you,

it's better to find out now.

[SIGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE] No, that's not it.

What i... Well, what is it, then?

- Off you go. Off you go. Thanks.
- Oh. Yeah.

You know, I actually
think that this piece

gonna go right... Uh, sorry. Sorry.

I'm sorry, Mr. Laird.

We were responsible, I promise.

- Oh, that's good. That's nice to hear.
- Okay, good.

We were just studying, and it happened.

Really just getting all the details.

She's just so pretty and cool.

And really assertive. You know?

- Ah.
- I'm sorry.

You didn't do anything wrong, Connor.

Just because I don't, uh,
like it so, so, so much

doesn't mean that it was wrong.

- Still, I should've asked your permission.
- No, don't do that.

Don't ever do that. No.

So... [SIGHS]

... she won't return m-my calls
or texts or really anything.

Would you wanna tell her that
I can't stop thinking about her?

[CHUCKLES]

Zero chance.

- Should I... Okay.
- Yeah, a hundred percent.

[SIGHS, BLOWS]

- She kinda uses it as, like, a retreat.
- [JIMMY] Hey, Liz?

Yeah?

I'm sorry. I was really out of line.

That's okay.

I think I just had a really bad day.

Me too.

Liz, did I ever really thank you for
everything that you did for Alice?

And for me?

No.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

That was beautiful,
Jimmy. Come drink with us.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [LIZ] Come.

[CHUCKLING]

Derek and I didn't think Connor
would lose his virginity till,

like, his mid- s.

Yeah, Connor definitely wasn't
driving that bus. [CHUCKLES]

But you know what?

The one you should be
worried about is Sean.

Totally.

- They have an energy. I have seen it.
- [GABY] Yeah.

Sean is a nice kid, okay?

- He's not... He's not like that. So...
- Yeah, but he's not the issue.

- Mm-mmm.
- Listen, Jimmy.

You got a teenage girl.

- We were those once.
- Yeah.

And we were horny as f*ck.

So horny as f*ck.

- [IMITATES RETCHING]
- [GABY] Think about it.

You got a beautiful Black man
back there, all that cacao skin,

glistening over in the pool
house? With easy access?

- Easy access?
- Mm-mmm, mm-mmm, mmm.

If you have any empathy,

you will stop this
conversation right now. Please?

- You know, I had a Sean once.
- m*therf*cker.

His name was Allen.

- He was my dad's paralegal.
- [LIZ] Oh.

And I gave him a really powerful
hand job at the family brunch.

Under or over the pants?

- Both.
- [LIZ] Ah.

- And I used pancake butter.
- [LIZ] Mmm.

[CHUCKLES] It was amazing.

My Sean's name was Billy Worth.

- Oh, was it?
- He worked in a yogurt shop.

And my mom found so many
rainbow-colored sprinkles in my panties

that she thought I was
banging a leprechaun.

- [LAUGHING]
- Okay. You're wrong.

You're both wrong. I'll tell you why.

One, you're both perverts, both of you.

Two, I'm taking this
glass. I'll bring it back.

Three, no one wants a powerful hand job.

Four, I'm canceling any future brunches.

- Number five, Sean is not beautiful.
- [BOTH] He is.

Number six, uh, f*ck you.

Jimmy! Teenage girls be f*cking!

- They f*ck.
- [BOTH CHUCKLING]

Babe. Babe, Connor got laid.

[CHUCKLES] Derek, don't be crude.

Oh. O-Okay. Have you seen the scissors?

Did you look in the drawer
where we always keep them?

Great idea.

[LAUGHING]

You know, my ex was
addicted to painkillers.

- [CHUCKLES] Oh, that's way worse.
- [LAUGHING]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey. I need a little guy energy.

- You watching the game?
- - Dodgers.

- Grab a seat.
- Thanks.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[ANNOUNCER] Here's the
ninth hitter. Brunson stops.

Hey, about earlier, um...

Look, I know it must be
frustrating when I don't...

No, um, I made it about me.

That was... That was some weak sh*t.

You know why I like living here?

When I was staying at my parents' crib,

they made me feel guilty
for not getting better.

- I never got that here.
- Until today.

I f*cked that up. I'm sorry.

You have a good night.

[GRUNTS, SIGHS]

This game's going into
extras, in case you wanna stay.

[PAUL SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Sean, you up?

God, you're beautiful.

[SIGHS]