Sexo con Amor (2003)

[bunniefuu]

Look how
beautiful it is.

This is a really
fine piece of meat.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Another postcard came from Susan,
she sends you tons of love.

I'm nervous.

It's not you who's
taking the test.

And if he scores below average and
they take away his scholarship?

We'll put him in a public
school and that's it.

No, Emilio, you can't play
around with education.

"What is masturbation?"

Number 8?

"Flying a kite".

Hand in your tests, please.

See you tomorrow.

Bye, teacher.

Bye, see you.

Tomas, did your dad get
back from his trip yet?

Yeah, he got back last night.

- And is he coming to get you?
- I hope so.

Bye, teacher.

Bye, see you tomorrow.

Come on, share!

the letter from the
Biennial arrived

Great!

I hope you did better
than the others.

Tomas, son, hello.
How did it go?

Good. What took
you so long?

No, I got held up.

Wait for me just a minute.
I'll be right back.

I missed you, you jerk.

And here is the announcement
of the parent's meeting.

Both parents should come but
if your wife can't make it

Well, that's O.K.

Thanks...

Let's go Tomas. Good.
Good bye Miss. Thank you.

Bye... bye, Tomas.

And when are you going?

No, when are we going?
They sent me two tickets

so you have to
come with me.

I'm in a complicated
moment at school.

So get someone
to replace you.

I'll try.

I'm going to have to start
painting like crazy.

Great then!

Yeah, but still...

it bothers me to
leave you so alone

We aren't going to see for a while.

Don't worry...

You have your work and
I can entertain myself...

If you said you'd get home early,
better that we leave now.

Where to?

To a place where we
can be more comfortable.

To a motel?

Yeah. Do you have
a better idea?

If we start going to motels,
we'll never stop.

And I don't want to cheat on
Valentin like this.

But it's better to go to a motel
than to make love in the car.

Yeah...

No, this is impossible.

Or we do something or
I don't know... but...

Yeah, this
is impossible.

Then that's it?

You know what I'd like?

To spend a whole night
with you.

Good. We go?

But I told Valentin
I'd be home early.

Fine!

Home then!

Waitress, the bill!

You're really disgraceful. You just
have me to fool around with you, jerk.

Right, in any case to talk about
Quantum physics. Not quite.

And why not?

Then tell me something. Do
you find me a bit foolish?

Luisa...

You are always looking at
me with that face that says:

"the things
this girl says."

Luisa please, if I find you
that you are a woman...

- Incredible!
- Incredibly foolish!

But then don't say foolish things.

- And you?
- Me what?

You told me that you were
going to be late,

so I couldn't
go to my dinner.

And now you're complaining
that I got home early?

It's not my fault that you
gave Gladys permission...

to take off early every other night.

Jorge... She also has children
and no one to leave them with.

Come on. She's the maid.

Are you going to stay?

This is still my house. Or not?

It says clearly,

that both parents have...

to go to the meeting,
so you'll just have to close...

early and come with me.

But how are they going to have a
meeting to talk about those things?

You have to talk about
those things somewhere.

Those things you learn,
anywhere least of all at school.

Matias, stop rocking
and finish your homework...

once and for all, please.

Dad? What does
"masturdate" mean?

See!

You, and shouting on top of it.

Better answer your son.

Look, its very simple,
very natural.

What are you doing?

I'm lathering up, can't you see?

Jerk, you've got an erection.
You're masturbating!

Matias will hear you!

Matias!

And it's... when you give yourself
pleasure... like... sexual.

It's when you grab yourself
and here produce pleasure

Understand?

Ah! Like...
jerking off!

That's it... the scientific
name for "jerking off".

I blew it!

Don't get crazy. No...

Yes...

What are you doing, you jerk?

Slowly, it hurts,
you know.

Yeah... yeah...
just the tip.

Carefully, OK?

There, oh sh*t!

No... you jerk... get out!
No, I can't.

I'm not even a little wet,
you understand?

The same sh*t again.

And what do you want from me?

Women take more time
to get aroused.

Everybody knows that.

Fine, but I give you caresses.
I give you little kisses...

Still I don't get anywhere, or no?

I'd like that you were more,
I don't know, more delicate,

slower... more...

What it is, is that you
don't get aroused with me.

that's what it is!

Don't be a jerk!

And what do you want me to think?

I've been putting on
a circus for over a year...

to get in.

I give up...

I'm gonna turn into a
professional w*nk*r. That's it!

Enough.

No, no, Maca, for goodness sakes.
Don't turn off the TV.

Don't be like that...

No, no, no...
tickling, no!

A little kiss... look,

who's that there?
Who is it?

He's dying of hunger.

OK give him something
to eat, but slowly

OK, careful?
Careful Emilio,

that's not slow...

But no...

Just the tip...

Just the tip.

Wait, little by little.

sh*t, you jerk...
you're hurting me!

So things are still bad.

Monica and I don't even
speak. Better that way.

And... where are you sleeping?

On a mattress
in the studio.

What a drag... but now that
Valentin is going away,

we could spend a
night together

We'll see each other a
little after the meeting?

I'll try.

Hello, good evening. Come on in.

It's been a while since
we've seen each other.

That's a lie.

I mean all of each other.

Jorge!

How are you?

Fine...

Great!

That's the new teacher?

Yeah... Luisa.

She's good looking, man.

Groups should be at least
of three couples.

I hope we can share the
group's thoughts afterwards.

Ah, teacher, come sit
with us and...

then we can have a full team.

Look, Jorge came alone
so... come with us.

Sure, I need to sit
somewhere anyway.

You want to know
something, teacher?

You two make
a great couple.

You think so?

Ah, I see that I'm in with
a group of troublemakers.

Wait a minute, I was saying
like father and daughter.

Good. With sex they say the more
experience you have the better.

Well... then you have
a chance, champ.

OK teacher, enough.

OK, let's get serious.
We need to set an example.

Let's see, but wait a minute,

if we are going to talk about sex,

we can't be too serious.

Sex is a party, a game,
it's... but here

in this country we are
all serious fools.

We don't know how
to make love.

Where do you get that idea?

Well, the point is that the school
wants to deal with the topic

of sex education in
conjunction with the parents.

So I need to
know if this topic...

is of interest
to you and why.

Yeah, sure it's important...

Why?

Well, because how the things are now.
Before everything was slower.

We were more naive.
Imagine I lost my virginity...

when I was nineteen.

And you... you think
that seems naive?

You know what happens,
nowadays everyone...

is having sex at fifteen.

How terrible!

How terrible? For you to
have sex is like t*rture?

Look, I lost my virginity at
fourteen and I think it's great!

It's pure practice!

The more you have sex,
the better you are at it...

so the sooner you start,
the better.

Ah huh... so according to you,
the first school field trip

should be to
a massage parlor?

Let's see, it seems we aren't
making much progress here.

I would prefer that those who
haven't spoken get a chance.

- Me?
- Yes. What do you think?

Do you think these
meetings are important?

Yes...

Yeah, they're important
because...? If not,

how? Where are they going to
learn? In the street? No.

Sex is pure practice.

You can't learn anything in class.
Sorry, teacher.

Let's hear from
the others, please.

Me?

Yes. You are supposed to be
an authority on the subject.

I loved your last book.

Yes? You liked it?

Yes, she d*ed laughing
reading it...

What's it called?

"Virtual sex and real love"

That's it.

I believe in love...
I think that sex is an extra,

and when I have sex
with the person I love...

it's... it's the greatest...

and when both things come
together, it's the best.

Excuse me Jorge, but I think
it's a cultural problem.

Sex is sex and love is love,

they can come
together or separately.

Which doesn't mean to
come together or separately...

is better or worse.

You talk like you spend
your day on this.

I love to have sex
as often as possible.

That's true.
It gets annoying...

But that's very good.
There you see love.

Because when the love
is gone from a couple,

so is the sex.

No, no, I tell you from.
my own experience...

things are really bad
with my wife right now...

since our problems
started, forget it,

each to their own
sides of the bed.

That's why I say: when there's no
more love, there's no more sex.

The truth is that when
there's no more love,

it's all over.

Yeah...

What a drag...

Don't worry. Because sometimes
you go through difficult times,

right, but you can move forward.

Right now with
Emilio we are...

going through a very
delicate situation...

Yeah?

Yeah, Emilio, we are going
through a very delicate situation.

How good that I came to this
meeting to find out about it.

Don't act like you don't know.
You know that what's...

happening to us isn't normal.

I swear I had no idea.

Shouldn't you have told me
about it first? Don't you think?

So you think we're fine?

Well, you're never really fine.

But for a marriage I think
it's acceptable enough.

Do you think it's acceptable
enough to have found...

my husband masturbating
in the shower?

Maca, you can't talk about
these things in public.

What's the problem if we
are talking about sex?

Well then tell them that you haven't
let me enter you for about a year.

You know perfectly well why.

I have no idea. OK?

Because it hurts. You don't have
even the least bit of gentleness!

And you have no
respect for intimacy!

Better we... better we begin
to answer the questionnaire.

In any case I see that this is
a topic that concerns us all...

- Can I help you give them out?
- Good, thanks.

Excuse me.

Father! Hello.

- I came a bit early.
- Yes, no problem. Come on in.

Excuse me, are we going
to have a baptism here?

I'd like to introduce Father Mario.
He's the priest who's in charge

of the elective course on religion.

I thought it would be
interesting to hear...

the church's vision on this point.

Great...
hello, good evening.

Good evening.

Excuse me, teacher
and excuse me Father,

but isn't it true that priests
take a vow of chastity.

What I mean is how is someone going
to come to talk about something...

he doesn't know anything about?
I insist... in this area

practice is fundamental.

Alvaro, please.

With all due respect
for the priest.

Excuse me, I don't know
what religion you are,

but there are some
people in this room

who would like to hear what
Father Mario has to say.

Hear what? The church's
position is totally clear.

Sex is only for reproduction.
Isn't that so, Father?

When and only when you are married
by the church because if not,

then forget the whole thing.
Isn't that so?

Listen, we don't need to get
so hotheaded here!

I don't know what problem you have
with the international organization

this priest belongs to, but
we're all mature adults here,

and we're
disposed to hear...

different visions
with respect to an idea.

As Ludovico Croce says,

"Non aviate chialdi
chi no ha riscoldi"

That means, there's nothing worse than
a blind person who doesn't want to see.

Fine, if it
interests you, fine!

For me, as
Italo Calvino says,

"I'll have a glass of wine."

- Alvaro, where are you going?
- It bores me to hear this priest.

At least you could have
agreed before calling me.

Excuse me, well, let's take
a fifteen minute break...

so you can find the bathroom,
smoke a cigarette,

have a coffee, we'll meet in
fifteen minutes, thank you.

Emilio...

Emilio is there a pub or
a little bar around here?

Like for...

To have a drink.

Yes.

Let's go?

Those meetings last forever,
we'll pick them up afterwards.

Your wife's comment
really hurt, huh...

No... what happened
is that I don't remember...

what it is to make love.

With your wife. But then you can get
even at your local branch, no?

What local branch?

But sure you have a little
girlfriend stashed away to unload on.

A little friend?
A lover!

- Sure...
- No...

Don't worry.
I'm not a snitch.

No... How could I have a lover!...

Even when waitresses
serve me in short skirts,

I'm ashamed.
I feel guilty.

Of what?

Guilty of having a d*ck?

Guilty of being a man?
Guilty of what?

Guilty of cheating
on my wife.

But deep down
women know.

Do you think your wife doesn't
know you've had lovers?

But I haven't had one,
I tell you.

Well then you're
wasting time.

Women know that masculine
fidelity is impossible.

It's written in our genes
and this doesn't mean...

that you don't love
your wife... but...

Emilio look, women ovulate
only once a month...

but men produce
millions of sperm.

Millions just fighting
to have a sh*t at it.

Give me another drink!

I don't know how you stand it!

Just jerking off...

Jerking off helps.
But it's different

Every chick is different.
There are no two clitorises alike.

Every little p*ssy is unique.

I always do a mental exercise.

Looking at a woman's hands, I try to
imagine what her p*ssy must be like.

Does it work?

Practically... always.

Her hands?

The hands...
delicate hands,

long fingers,
well-kept nails,

they're a little clam with a
inside like a cone...

and with every orgasm, they
tighten at the base of the d*ck...

Like they would strangle it...

now, pudgy hands,
round fingers...

and nails that are bitten, they
bulkier, with thick juicy lips

What's with you?

Pleasure with
every chick is different.

That's why I say,
practice is fundamental,

practice, practice, practice.

sh*t! This woman...

Another girlfriend?

A crazy woman... and
this is important, Emilio.

Never... but never, get
involved with a crazy one.

Good, I hope that you come
to the second meeting...

Absolutely, and... please
excuse our little scene...

- Good night.
- Good night. Good luck.

Oh no. I felt so
bad afterward.

Your gynecologist.
What did he say?

Nothing, because he went
to work in Temuco.

So I don't have one, but
I need to find one...

I have a great one. I can give you
his phone number if you want.

Yeah, thanks, ah...

Father!
A word please, excuse me.

I wanted to talk with you... um...

my son, Matias, was...

Oh sh*t... damn!

Sorry, sorry!

No... no, it's fine, my darling...
it was nothing.

- Did I squish your boob?
- Yeah!

f*ck!

No, no it's OK.

f*ck!

What happened?

Nothing... this is getting
us nowhere... no...

It can't go on like this.

This mess
isn't serious.

I love you.

Hello, gorgeous.

I don't recommend
going to your office.

There's a crazy stewardess
making a scene.

I better go with you.

It seems like you're scared.

It's that I don't know you...

You've been working
here like two weeks, no?

Yeah.

And we still haven't
had a drink together.

We could have lunch tomorrow...

Alvaro!

At last I found you,
darling... listen,

excuse me but your secretary
is a classless bitch.

What do you think
you're doing here?

Honey, you knew
I was arriving today.

None of this "honey" business.
You can't just appear at my office.

I know but I had to see you...
I brought you a gift, look!

I bring you a present.

Sergio, sir, how are you?

It's that way... Miss, there.

Where?

At the end, at the end.

Ho... hold my bag...

Get in there...
get in!

No, no... Angelica look...
try to understand...

what happened, happened.
Really, it was great.

We had a good time.

But it's over, you understand?
It's over and life goes on;

I am happily married,
you have a boyfriend...

No, no...
we broke up...

Ah, well...
I'm sorry!

Alvaro, I broke up with him for you!
I love you!

You say you love me?

No Angelica love
is something else.

We were horny.
We got off the plane

but from there to love
there is an abyss.

Don't be cruel... I am capable
of doing anything for you!

I realize that...

but understand!
I have a wife..

who's pregnant,
I have a daughter,

- I have obligations...
- You don't love her...

But of course I love her!

No, you don't. If you did, you wouldn't
have gotten involved with me.

I'd have to be a eunuch not
to get involved with you.

I was leaving you at your house
and you invited me in...

What did you want me to do?
Play chess with you?

No, but don't cry... you are a
wonderful woman... really!

Don't say anymore... I get it...
how embarrassing.

Take this... I don't
have any use for it.

Angelica...

Angelica...

Angelica,
I have to get home...

don't continue like this...

if we go on, we
won't be able to stop...

Ouch!... You bit me!

Renata?

Do you like Renata?

Which Renata?

Silly, if it's a girl.

Ah! No, no, it's going
to be a boy.

Sometimes the ultrasound
is wrong Angelica?

SEXUAL LIFE,

"Masturbation and
Male Sexual Pleasure".

Maca?

Ah, you're taking a bath.

A friend recommended it.
She told me that if I took a

nice hot bath before bed...

I could get relaxed, let's see if...

So it's not enough to
talk about this at school.

You're talking to your
friends about it too...

Come on, how long are you
going to be angry with me?

I said I was sorry.

Look, I don't want to talk about it.
I was coming to talk about

something else. The bill
from the school and the phone

bill both arrived between the
two it comes to 150,000 pesos.

I don't have the money
to pay this bill.

Or we cut the phone or we take
Matias out of that school...

Fine! Take him out of school.

Condemn him to work in a
butcher shop the rest of his life.

What's so bad about that, huh,
working in a butcher shop, huh?

Come on...
come over here.

What for?

It's worth your while...
Come on over...

I know why you're mad...

Is this a joke?

No. Don't you like it?

Yeah, yeah, keep going.

Are you still mad?

Sweetheart, keep going...

Do you forgive me?

Yes, honey, wait, wait...

No, it's fine like this.
What are you doing?

Wait...

But Emilio,
calm down, listen...

wait, listen... gentle.

Slowly... slowly...

Ay no... you're
going crazy.

You jerk, you got
in with your shoes on!

So what.

With your new shoes...!

You're squishing me...
get out!

sh*t, you make a fuss about!
everything for God's sakes

But how can you get in with your
clothes on for goodness sakes!

Ah, this has gone to hell.

Can't you be gentle
for once in your life?

Take off the wet clothes.
I just waxed the floor!

"Happy Hour, later"?

"I can't today. I'm
going out with my wife".

I wanted to say goodbye...

Now that I know
I'll never have you,

I'd rather leave
it like this.

Yes. Yes I'm fine,

better than ever... and even
I'm going to take a bath...

my last bath...

Drunk? No, no!
You know I never...

mix drink with pills...

How many?

Three... no, not three pills...
three bottles, you jerk...

If you don't have
me in your heart,

at least you'll have me
in your conscience...

I love you; I love you so...

bastard that I love you so much...

Sorry, but I can't keep talking,

my bath is overflowing...

Angelica?

Angelica?

Finally.

- She's sleeping.
- Yes, but it was difficult.

She didn't want me to go.
Alvaro's here?

He called...

He called?

He said to excuse him that.
he was going to arrive late.

That afterwards, he
was going to explain.

So I'm going to bed.

- Good night
- Bye, Marta. Go ahead.

It's all right.
The patient is stable.

- And doctor, how is she?
- She's OK.

Never again, God,
never again.

Thursday, Friday.

No, your Dad's already outside...
wait a minute.

OK, then we're
going to be late.

Oh, but look how you
have your shirt, son.

- Listen, Emilio!
- What?

- Susan called last night.
- So?

She arrives today at five
at the bus station...

- Can you go pick her up?
- Me!

Yes... today I have my appointment
with the gynecologist at that time.

It's to check out the problem!

Why don't you go get your
head checked instead?

Difficult, jerk...
Wait, wait!

No, I can't leave
the store alone!

No, come on Emilio,
can you go or not?

Yes, I'm fine.

But how can you
tell me this now?

But last night I couldn't
even talk to you...

wait a minute honey...
bye.

No, she should take
the subway and come...

No Emilio... when you went to France,
they came and picked...

you up at the airport.

Don't be so ungrateful.
They treated you like a prince!

Fine... I'll go,
I'll go...

Good, bye son, bye honey...
have a good day.

Concentrate on your test so
that you get a good grade.

Don't think about other stuff.
Don't think about TV

or the girl next door.

Your smock!

Come my love, three wishes.
Let's see if Mommy can still blow.

She still blows!
Bravo!

Beautiful, thank you!

Come. Come and
I'll give you your gift.

You can keep your
comments to yourself.

Don't fight with me.

No really, I don't know
how I stand you.

Because you're an angel.

A gift.

You at least found the perfume
I asked you for. Or not?

I think so.

I'm sure you sent your
secretary to buy it.

Yes... but wait a minute.
I have another gift.

Flowers. And this?

Is it a poem?

No, it's my new schedule...
I decided to take prenatal leave.

Let's see. Really?

What's this that you're going to
arrive home early every night?

- Alvaro!
- Well, all, all, no,

I still have my free
slot just in case.

Today's Man, of all
the different forms of love

has been trapped
between two options

One, fidelity like an eternal
condemnation

Two, infidelity like
a dark and guilty...

passageway to our true instincts.

Nevertheless, of all
the forms of sex,

we'd like to believe
in sex with love,

as if it were the point where
the body meets the soul.

I can't find the keys, Chamorro!

But if you opened
in the morning...

Let's see... here they are.

And you aren't
coming back?

No, I'm not.

Listen, I left. everything
ready at home

But remember to go
pick up Susie at five.

You know I hate to
leave the store alone.

Fine, then I won't go
to the gynecologist! OK

and we'll just continue
with this problem!

Yeah and you're going to
continue blabbing about it...

Ooof, it was just
like in the movies.

Hurry up, I'm going
to catch you...

watch out with the
hippocampus.

- My period is late.
- What?

I said I'm late.

sh*t!

But sometimes
it just happens.

And whose would
the little tadpole be?

If there is one, it's yours!

sh*t! Are you sure?

Um... yeah, yeah.

f*ck!

Can you imagine?

f*ck... better not to.

You know...
let's get off this.

Straight home

Straight home

Enough... enough

Paty?

Paty!

Patricia.

Alvaro!

You are so beautiful.

It's love.

Still with your boyfriend?

Yeah and Elena? The baby
must be due any minute.

Yeah, sure... she still
has one more month.

Tell her that we miss
her at the office.

I miss you.

Bye.

Sometimes I wish someone would
really go the distance for me...

And me?

- You have your wife.
- You have Valentin.

But Valentin is like a little boy.
I love him, but he's a child.

- I really love you.
- But you don't take me seriously.

And what do you want from me?

We should adopt Valentin
and form a family?

No... but how long can
we go on like this?

Better not to
think about it now.

Please, go right, make
yourself ahead at home.

Hey, I'm going to pee
my pants, can I?

Don't do it here,
Maca just waxed.

Where's the bathroom?

"Le toilette est a..."
Oh, I forget. It's right there.

Uncle? When did you
come to France?

For the World Cup,
I guess in 98.

Remember you were at my 15th
birthday party?

Of course I do.

Want to know something? I
was madly in love with you!.

You're kidding!
I had no idea.

I don't believe you. I think you
wanted something to happen.

Where's my aunt?

She's at the doctor.
Don't worry,

It's no big deal. Come on in,
sweet heart, right in here.

Dyspareunia... it's a
medical term, don't worry.

How's Luisita?
Tell me...

Got me. I don't know
her very well.

She's my son's teacher.

I thought you
two were friends.

We hardly know each other.
Plus, she's new at the school.

I've been Luisa's doctor...

since she was 18, imagine.

You know her inside and out.

I get the impression she's
good as a teacher, no?

Yeah, she's great.

Your son must be
happy with her.

Does that hurt?

Good, doesn't hurt a bit, right?

No.

Good, very good.

Normal, cervix is normal,
no visible inflammation.

You seem to be tip-top, dear,
in excellent shape.

It's incredible when
there's only one kid.

I have a friend with just
one son, and they've got him,

so spoiled that his
nickname is the Emperor

which tells you pretty
much everything.

I'm going to do a
transvaginal ultrasound.

Have you had one
of those before?

Yes. I mean, no.
But it's fine.

It's a simple test to make
sure there's nothing wrong,

but relax, everything's fine,
perfectly normal.

Nice and easy.

Does that hurt?

Good, very good. Here you
can see on the screen,

the uterus, here,
it looks just fine, see, it's perfect,

normal morphology, normal
size. Let's see here, the left ovary,

is always a little bit hidden, see?
Right there. Let me see now,

here it is, there it's coming into
view, see? It's very good.

Ay! Leave it
a bit more!

You can get dressed now, please.

So... your exam is
absolutely normal...

and in addition there
was no discomfort.

No, on the contrary!

I'm going to prescribe a
lubricant, just in case.

Here's one you
can take with you.

So how do I apply it?

I'll figure it out at home.

- It doesn't say anything.
- What do you mean it doesn't say anything?

No, nothing.

I think you should just put a
good amount right up in there.

OK, wait, wait.

Better yet, why don't you
put some on your peeter?

Right.

Wait, the panties.

Hold on, for...!

What's wrong?

Susan might hear us.

- Who cares?
- I do.

OK.

No, I don't want to,
I'm tired... I don't want to.

C'mon, over here.

What's going on?

Sit, sit down here.

I have a surprise for you.

If it's something to eat,
I'm not hungry.

No!

A picture, all this show for
a picture, Valentin, please!

This isn't just any picture.
Now close your eyes.

No, just let me see it!

OK, but just a second,
what's the rush?

- Close your eyes.
- OK, my eyes are closed.

Hurry up,
I'm falling asleep.

OK, ready. Hold on, hold on...

Open your eyes.

Do you like it?

What are you up to?

- A mess.
- With whom?

With myself.

Will you ever be back?

I'm here, aren't I?

You have to pay a lot of
attention in math class,

where we're not doing so well...

Good morning, Jose Alfredo,
so... OK, bye.

Hello.

Hello, gorgeous!

I want to talk to you a minute.
Are you in a hurry?

No, I'm going home
to sleep a little.

Ah, still tired?

Yes, and on top of that last
night, well, I had a double.

A double?

Yeah, yeah, Monica starting
getting a little friendly, so...

And how was it?

Good...

well, all in all
a bit strange,

because, since I've been with
you I haven't touched her.

Right, because supposedly nothing
was going on there, right?

Luisa! Monica is still my wife.

I had a double myself.

Oh really?
And how was it?

Excellent!

So what did you
want to tell me?

Nothing.

You're jealous.
Don't be silly.

I'm not silly!

Naive, maybe.

Know what?
I'll call you later.

Hello,

Hello, excuse me...

Sorry. Eli!

Hello.

Hello. Here.

For me?

Sorry it's been opened.

The fact is,
it was for my wife,

but she didn't like it.
If you don't mind...

Hey, but do you realize how
much this perfume costs!.

Thank you, Alvaro,
but I can't accept this

Don't you like it?

No, no, it's not that,
I adore it...

OK, so it's yours.

Thank you.

Lunch later?

Delicious!

What did you say it was called?

"Sake."

I like it because
it goes in sort of hot,

Like it opens up
your throat a little.

I like... your hands,
that long fingers...

the crowning touch.
Ay, Eli, you're driving me crazy.

Let's go have
dessert in Vina?

Waiter!
The bill, please.

We'll take the car, and in an hour
we'll be standing by the sea.

But I have to work now.

And tonight?

Tonight what?

Tonight...

They told me
you were fresh,

but this is the limit.

What do you mean fresh?

No, no! But they've also told me
really nice things about you.

Really?
Like what?

Seems as though
you're an ace in bed.

You have a great reputation.

Look Eli, I don't know
about reputations, nor if

I'm good in the sack,

but with you I swear I'll
be the best there is!

Let me have an hour,
I need an hour tonight,

let's see each
other tonight.

sh*t, no, tonight, I can't,

but if I put this over here...

OK, I'll use the free slot.

So?

"SEXUAL LIFE" "The Pleasure
of Female Masturbation"

I can't come to the phone
right now, so I have your name

and number after the beep.
Thank you.

Luisa, I've been
looking for you.

I want to know what's going on.

Please call me.

Give me another.

No, I insist that I am a
defender of marriage...

"Every ram with his ewe."

Thank God I found mine,

who's an angel,
a real angel

I swear that if
it weren't for her...

I'd be under a bridge
somewhere, a wreck,

drinking wine out of a box.

Not to mention kids...

Do you have kids?

No.

When you do, you'll see.

Kids need a family...

but fidelity is another story,
it's strictly cultural.

Think about chicks,
poor chicks, man.

In this country two out of every three
guys are premature ejaculators!

Imagine the number
of unhappy chicks

running around out there!

sh*t, for any guy who can
screw more or less decently

this country is Paradise!

I mean, this sh*t is
a public health issue!

Just because the chick's married and
all in love with some guy doesn't mean

she has to go all her life
without having an orgasm.

Hello?... Of course.
I'm waiting for you.

A long time.

What do you mean you can't?

f*ck!... No, but...

I'll die if you leave
me hanging like this...

no, it's not just being horny.

I mean, I am horny,
but I'm horny for you...

No, Eli, don't jerk me around...
you can't do this to me... bye.

OK... OK...
yeah, bye.

No I am not angry...

really... yeah...

Oh sh*t!

- You?
- Hello...

Felipe, this is Alvaro.
I've told you about him, remember?

Yeah, sure.
Hi Alvaro,

How's it going? How are
you? Nice to meet you.

Hello. I didn't know
I was so famous.

He's my psychoanalyst.

- Is he good?
- Good at what?

OK, I better be going.

Doctor's visit.

Yeah...

but one's enough,
isn't it?

Maybe the three of us...

- No
- ... better not.

Come, come!

- Wait... wait...
- Come, come here.

f*ck!

- What's wrong?
- I had some condoms here.

No... forget them.

Without one?

Yeah, it's nicer. Anyway,
I'm due for my period.

No, what if I get
the tricho-tricho,

tricho-whatever-it-is...

Trichomonas.

Hey, I think it's gone.

And what if you get pregnant?

Here, OK!

- What happened?
- Nothing.

OK, I'll take it off.

Now what?

Why don't you want
me to get pregnant?

Do you want to?

I don't know...

why not?

Well, I don't know,

just when everything's
going so well...

it feels like not the right time.

- Is it because of my trip?
- No.

Do you want me not to go?

No. It's not that.

You don't want to talk?

No. I don't want to.

Elena?

Elena?

Bye, thanks.
I liked the movie.

Right, I'll call you tomorrow.

OK.

Alvaro!

Hi.

Ah... Elena?

I thought you were
coming home late.

Oh, yeah.

Right, actually I thought I would
be getting home around now.

Isn't it a little late for
a pregnant woman?

- Where were you?
- I went out.

I see.

I went to the movies.

Finished late, eh?

Afterwards, we went
to eat something.

I went with a guy I know.

OK, you don't
have to explain.

I was worried,
that's all.

You could have
called my cell phone.

I did, but I only
got the recording.

You're right, I had it
turned off in the cinema,

and then on I forgot
to turn it back.

- Are you mad?
- No.

Come to bed.

Put it right in,
no problem.

A little bit more,
don't take it out!

Don't take it out!

Damn, you moved away,
Maca, what's the matter?

No, it's just that...

I put too much cream on the papayas,
and now I have a stomach ache.

Do you want some herb tea?

Good idea, please.

- Thanks for the invitation.
- Sure, whenever you want.

- I liked the movie.
- Really good.

- Did you like it?
- I loved it, but you were even better.

OK, see you later.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Really good,
you were much better.

Bye.

Bye... you're so hot.

- Bye.
- See you.

You're up?

Why so early?

I'm in a pinch, gotta finish
three pictures before the trip.

What's all this?

It's for the trichomonas,
they're vaginal capsules.

So when are you going
to have a healthy p*ssy?

Oh, what a crude...

I'd like to see you deal with it!

And don't say "p*ssy,"
it sounds horrible.

So what should I say?
vag*na?

I don't know, say "bunny"

Oh, how sweet, "bunny".

Vulva?

Vulva... gross.

Now that sounds awful.

Vulva... Too much.

Come in.

Uncle, can you
take me downtown?

If you hurry, yes, because I'm
leaving right now with Matias.

OK, I'll just take a quick shower,
do I have time?

I guess so.

- Hello.
- Hello. I'm late.

I've been calling you...?
What's going on?

Nothing, nothing is going on.
I have to go.

Hey, not the indifferent
treatment... please,

anything but that.

That's the only thing
I ask of you.

I really have to go in now.
We'll talk later.

But when?

I don't know. I'll call you.

No, she's not in.
Who's calling?

Hey, you degenerate f*ck.
How're you? Yeah, it's me.

Listen, my friend, I need
you to do me a big one,

I need the name of one
of your subscribers.

Now, according to the number
it's one of your cell phones.

I know it's confidential,

otherwise I wouldn't have
to ask you, buddy, right?

Write it down.

Bye, bye.

Here it is:
8-2-7-5-9-8-7... Bye.

OK, man, when you
have something, call me.

- Hello.
- Hello, sorry.

You want to drive me crazy,
right? No, no,

now I've figured out your tactics.

I swear I wanted to go.

Let's have lunch?

Ah, right. Better take
advantage of lunch hour.

- What if someone comes?
- No, nobody will.

Mr. Degenerate!
Did you get it?

What? No, I'm
playing tennis.

What's his name?

Carlos Rojas.

I owe you one, buddy.

What? What game?
The tennis game, good,

I'm a set ahead. OK, Chum,
thanks, bye, OK, right, bye.

What are you doing?

Nothing, just checking
something out, that's all.

C'mon, people are coming
back from lunch.

What's going on?

I'm sorry, but my mind
is kind of elsewhere.

Let's see... wait,
wait... there.

Still, it was good, wasn't it?

Hey, what?

sh*t, this damn book is
full of Carlos Rojases.

- Hello.
- Hello!

I'm waiting for Valentin.

He went out.

Yes, but he'll be back.

You're Luisa?

Yes.

I recognized you
from the photo.

Oh! Right, and you... excuse me.

Hello?
Yes, speaking.

Yes, they were going to have
some tests for me in the morning.

I'm really not interested in what
happened at the laboratory...

Look, all I ask is that
you send me the results

to the address I left with you, so I don't
have to go all the way over there again.

Yes, to the school. That's right.
Thank you, goodbye

Nice.

Yes, he's good.

I like Valentin.

- As a painter.
- I'm sure.

What bad luck.

OK, let's see.

6, wait; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Central Station. How much was it?

5.500.

- Charge him more, dear.
- What do you mean charge him more?

He's charging the same
as the time before.

If he's usurer.

OK, here's your money, take it.

OK, lady, your turn.
Let's see if you can do better.

Do it again, but not
so hard this time,

don't throw it so hard.
Let's see.

Let's play another game,
I already have won.

OK, throw it again
but gently.

no, throw it as hard as you want,
I'll stop them here...

Dad, let's play
something else,

Once this game is over
you're going to bed.

- Come to me, baby,
- Not yet!

Piece of sh*t two-dollar

cocksucking whore,
two-bit c**t, stupid bitch,

your m*therf*cking whore
grandmother's a whore,

Bad person!
Bad person!

Scum-sucking bitch,

streetwalking piece of ass,
heartless c**t bitch!

Elena?

Yes?

Who is Carlos Rojas?

Carlos Rojas?

An old college friend.

Why?

Who went to the movies
with you the other day?

Yes...

How long have you
been seeing him?

- How long!
- Don't shout at me.

I'm not shouting.
How long?

I don't know, what of it?
We went out a couple of times.

We went to the movies,
we had lunch, coffee.

A couple means twice.

Coffee, movies, lunch,
that's three.

Alvaro.

- How long have you been seeing him?
- Stop it.

Excuse me, but it is exasperating
that you are not able to

answer such a simple question.

Supposing that there is nothing
going on between you two, correct?

Of course not!

So then, why don't
you answer me?

I told you!
We went out a couple of times.

Oh, so we're still on
a "couple"of times.

Since we had our back
class reunion a while.

In August?

I think so.

- When I was away.
- Probably.

Dammit, don't be so vague!

Yes or no,
in August, yes or no!

Alvaro, I'm pregnant.

I know that!

And according to my calculations,
I find that you got pregnant just...

around the time I was on a trip.
In August!

So let's see, what happened
after the little class reunion,

of old college friends, huh?

You had a couple of drinks?

You recalled a couple
of sweet old memories?

You knocked it off
a couple of times?

But the couple of partners forgot
to take along a couple of condoms.

But Mr. Cuckold, Alvaro Frias,

will take care of
the baby anyway! Right?

C'mon, are you going
to take me to McDonald's?

What do you want,
an "unhappy meal"?

- It's called a "happy meal."
- OK, OK...

Look, my teacher!

Yeah. Wait a second, I have
to tell her something.

Luisa, Luisa, hi...
Can I take you?

- No, I'm almost there.
- I'll take you anyway.

No.

So? Are we finished?

I don't know.

We love each other,
don't we?

I love you,

and I will always love you,
but...

I can't continue like this.

Monica and I
are separating.

It's not that... it's...
what we have is nothing.

But let's decide that together...
let's meet tonight.

No, I can't.

We wanted to break
it off lots of times.

Yeah, but now I love you, and
there's no cure for that.

You're driving me crazy!

It'll pass.

No, it won't just pass.
Everything stays inside you.

- Sooner or later, you forget.
- Bullshit we do!

We can't just choose what gets
tossed into the wastebasket...

and what remains.

You don't understand anything,
you little bitch!

- Do you know Carlos Rojas?
- What?

I said, do you
know Carlos Rojas?

What's going on?

He's also an architect,
just like you.

You know him or not?

Lay off, what's wrong with you?
You're nuts! Stop!

Leave me alone!

Yes, I've seen him a couple
of times in the office...

why do I have to answer
your f*cking questions?

Elena is two-timing me
with that cocksucker.

What are you talking about?
Carlitos is gay.

He's gay?

As far as I know, he's not
interested in women at all.

Too bad, too, because
he's quite a hunk...

Right, those types
are the worst...

because they get, you women
to let down your guard...

and then they come, along
with their foot-long peckers

they have a couple of whiskeys
and they turn bisexual,

This mother fucker
is dicking Elena.

Stop talking horseshit,
you are out of your mind!

sh*t, sorry...

I didn't mean it.

You've been playing around from
the first month you were married.

- You deserve it!
- No.

No, because I love her...

You're a piece of sh*t!

- Oh, for christsakes, Patty...
- This was the last time,

too bad it was also the worst.
But it was the last.

Hello...

f*cking bum, nothing
better to do?

Sure you don't want
to come along?

No, aunt, I'm sure.

There's stuff
for adults too.

No, I have to wash clothes.

Bye.

Help her.

Bye, have fun, take care!

I hope they're
dry for tomorrow.

Sure, they'll dry
today, easily.

So, my dear, have you decided
where you're going to go?

Yes, to the Torres del Paine.

You don't slow down, do you?

You gotta do it all, uncle,
you only live once.

Uncle! Can you give me a hand?

Yeah, sure.

Let's see...

Here, here... this is it.

Sometimes when there's too
many clothes in it,

it won't run... if you
take a little out... I...

Monica...

I thought you were asleep.
I was going to leave you a note.

You don't have
to pick up Tomas

Why?

I hired a regular
bus for him.

I want you to leave!

Monica, I was
thinking that...

I really want
you to go.

Please just leave.

Thanks.

f*cking f*gg*t...
It can't be him.

Why does everything get
lost in this house?

Did you look in the first-aid kit?

I told you I did already.

What's wrong?

Susan must have
taken it by mistake!

How embarrassing, Emilio!

Oh, don't be a goose,
we'll find something better.

What? Is that it?

I don't know, let's see...

Balls! My socks,
my yellow socks.

There they are!

You are invited
to my birthday.

No, no Maca,
Maquita no.

No honey,
it doesn't matter, no.

Don't cry over it.

Tomorrow I'll go to the
pharmacy and buy you a ton...

of that stuff, OK?

OK baby?

Don't cry about it, OK?

I love you, Maquita!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

What's this f*g
doing in my house!

Take it easy, bud, you're
going to wake everyone up.

Get out, m*therf*cker!

m*therf*cker!

What's going on here?
My God!

Nothing, ma'am,
go back to bed.

Alvaro!

What is this q*eer
doing in my house!

Go to bed, Elena,
I'll talk to him.

I'll talk to him,
I'll talk to him...

I'm going to f*cking k*ll you!

Go back to bed, ma'am,
go to bed!

You told her, right?

You told her, you f*g.

I didn't tell her anything, assh*le.

Really?

So what are you doing sleeping...
in the living room of my house?

Your wife is about to give birth.
Maybe you wouldn't come tonight.

Someone had to stay
with her, right?

sh*t, when I saw you two there,
I couldn't f*cking believe it, man.

Carlos Rojas?

You're the only
guy I ever f*cked,

and I didn't even
know your name.

So now you see what an
ingrate you are, right?

Anyway, I put it right
up you, f*cking f*gg*t.

I didn't feel a thing.

Oh yeah? So why did you
shout like a stuck pig?

Maybe it was the way you
kissed me on the back.

sh*t was I drunk.

Are you such a little man
that you have...

to hide behind a bottle?

- What am I going to do?
- Go to bed, I'd say.

Sure,

so in the morning we'll have
breakfast like a happy little family.

No! I'm not leaving, man.

So, I believe that these meetings
have been quite beneficial and...

I want to let you know that I'm
going to miss a few days

because I'm going
to Sao Paulo.

So that's why I wanted to
squeeze in this meeting...

so that we can come
to some conclusions.

Anyone want to start?

Miss, do you believe that
you can teach how to love?

I don't.

In any case, whoever tried

should know how to love.
Don't you think so?

Well, the fact is
I would like to say something...

It's been a little weird for me...
these meetings, because

when I was a little kid, I never
talked about this stuff with anybody.

I would hear people say
things about it,

Like for example,
"Children come from love."

I didn't understand
much then...

I mean, from love or
underneath a cabbage?

But I realized that the most
important thing in life...

is to learn to love...

Because life is like
a big centrifuge which

grabs you and makes
you spin around...

Don't get stuck on it.

Unselfish advice
from an ex lover?

From a friend.

Or do we have
unfinished business?

It was a dream, a fantasy.
It wasn't going to work.

"I am a rebel, and a world without
fantasies is of no interest to me."

Right, another phony quote.

No, that's from
Adriano Celentano.

There's Luisa.

Luisa!

What luck that
you're here.

What's happening?

She didn't want you to know,
but... No matter what,

- you are the husband...
- Spit it out, don't scare me!

Your wife went to the clinic, alone!

I don't know what
to do, Mr. Alvaro,

I don't know what to do...

She didn't want me to
tell you, the missus...

OK Elena, breathe deeply...

don't push yet.

Hey, the doctor said you were
about to deliver a Volkswagen.

Looks like he wants to come out,
now that daddy's here.

Nicolas sit down.

"Children come from love".

"Positive for pregnancy"

Miss? What does
"Children come from love" mean?

Take out your notebooks
for a dictation.

- Hello.
- How is it?

Oh, how cute...

Spectacular!

Hello!

What a darling!

Alvarito is his name...
Say hi to the miss.

Don't run in the hallway.

We're going to have cake.