01x20 - The Road to Redemption

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Wipeout". Aired: April 1, 2021 –; present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Contestants try to navigate an extreme obstacle course that has been designed to provoke an unprecedented number of crashes, face plants and wipeouts as competitors fight to win a grand cash prize.
Post Reply

01x20 - The Road to Redemption

Post by bunniefuu »

Whoa! This is wild!

Nope. This is ""Wipeout.""

Ooh!
No!

The big balls are back,
America.

I’m Nicole Byer.
And I’m John Cena.

We’ll be your guides
as we reintroduce you

to the most insane
competition show known to man.

Ooh!

She got hit hard, but that’s
the game of ""Wipeout.""

Olé!

Each week, teams of two
will compete for their share

of the $25,000 grand prize.

The courses are crazier.

Yes!

The contestants are bendier.

That one’s got to hurt.

And the hosts are sexier.

Beauty and brawn.

Brains and brawn.
Funny and brawn.

Don’t set their expectations
too high, Nicole.

What if I don’t deliver?

Welcome back, America,
to ""Wipeout"!"

Hello, America, and welcome

to a very special episode
of ""Wipeout.""

I’m John Cena
alongside Nicole Byer.

Mmhmm.

Over the last few months,

a lot of teams
have come here and failed.

Preach.
Whewew!

But the church of "Wipeout"
offers second chances.

The handful of teams

who came so close
to winning this season

but couldn’t seal the deal.

These teams
have been invited back

to face the course
once again

all in the name
of I’ma say it, redemption!

And $25,000.
That’s right,

this is a second chance for our
favorite runners up to see

if they can finally
win big at ""Wipeout.""

And John’s going to tell you
all about the qualifier.

Whoo!

Our teams will face
the qualifier today.

A fivepart obstacle course
behemoth.

First, they’ll have to try

to avoid getting smacked
around in our Wallop Wall.

Then they’ll need to avoid
getting swept up

by our rotating pegs
at the Spin Cycle.

Next up, a "Wipeout"
classic, The Big Balls.

Make it across and grab
Smallsy for a $250 bonus.

After that,
it’s the Body Blender.

Jump the hurdles or
get cut down in the process.

And finally, the players end

with a swing and swing
Jigglelator

before a final leap
to the finish platform.

The six fastest teams
to finish the qualifier

make it through
to the next round.

John and I picked
our favorite

nonwinning teams
from this season

and invited them back
for a little redux.

For Team John, I choose
the Insurance Agents...

Belly, belly.

The Flamenco Cousins...
- Olé!

Larpe Diem...
Banzai!

And the Frisbee Camp
Counselors.

Good job!

And for Team Nicole,

I choose
the Superstar Fiancés...

This time, we got this!

The Ramenistas...
Whoo!

Kaluza...
We’re on it for "Wipeout"!

And ThreeNip Ricks.

Here come the nip slips.

My first team,
the Superstar Fiancés are back

and ready to kick things off.
Last time they were here,

they had the secondfastest
time in the qualifier

and barely missed
the Wipeout Zone.

Definitely,
a team to watch today.

Welcome back, you guys.

Thank you.
Whoo!

Are you two ready to do this
bigger and better?

Oh, absolutely.
Oh, heck yeah.

And you guys are also
on Team Nicole.

Is there anything
that you want to say to her?

Don’t get too close
to my man.

Let’s just compromise
and call him our man.

Picking your teams by who

you want to sleep with
is a terrible idea.

How dare you.

I picked them because
they’re fierce competitors.

And?

I wouldn’t mind
sleeping with them.

Let’s do it!

Delaney is looking good
on the Wallop Wall.

She eludes
the Nutcracker andooh!

Just saying she calls me out

and the next thing you know
here comes the airbag.

Ha! My high school nickname
was The Airbag.

Well, if you’re gonna be
called a bag,

air is better than D.

Jason ready for another
bounce on the big balls.

The way he moves across
those balls makes me think

he could move on
to someone new just like that.

Oh, my God!
Ahh, I missed him.

Not as much as Nicole
misses you.

Let’s go!

Jason is absolutely juiced
on love

as he leaps over
two hurdles at once.

Ooh!

He even took a leap

to break at that pool.

Delaney is not far behind.
Second time’s a charm. Oh!

That’s the exact same place

the Jigglelator
got her last time.

What? Are you, like,
keeping tabs on my teams?

100% I am.
You’re going down, Byer.

I mean, for these two,
anything could happen.

Congratulations, you guys.

Second fastest time
of the entire season.

Second fastest time
of the entire season?

My Superstar Fiancés coming
in hot with an insane time

of 4 minutes and 27 seconds.

Ugh! Not a bad start
for Team Nicole.

But my slingers,
the Frisbee Camp Counselors,

are ready to roll.

Hey, John, you got to work on
your throws and your catches.

What the hell was that?
I have to watch your teams.

You got to watch mine.
Off the TikTok, Byer.

The fact that you called it

"the TikTok"
means everything to me.

All right. So you guys
are here to redeem yourself.

What brought you back?

We’re hungry to win
this time.

There is definitely a point

in the gauntlet
where I was struggling.

I was hitting the water over
and over again.

I’m shocked she didn’t
block out this memory.

Go, Riley!
And here we go.

My Frisbee friend Riley
takes on the Wallop Wall.

Kid’s got hops.

And drops.

I’ll give that one
to you guys, that was funny.

Anna, there is nothing funny
or fun about the qualifier.

Do you understand?

You’re a mean coach.
You’re like Joe Jackson mean.

That man got results.

Just try it. Let’s go!

And it all pays off here
with my Frisbees

flying through the course.

Whoa ho! Anna narrowly avoids
the Smack Wall.

Oh!

Whamo!

Like all good frisbees,
she ends up lost in the water.

If she just spent
a little less energy

throwing Frisbees at me

and a little more
on that jump,

who knows
what could’ve happened?

My Camp Counselors soar in
at 5 minutes and 52 seconds.

That should be fast enough
for a spin in the gauntlet.

This next team is here
to show me some love.

So this time around,

what do you guys think
you’re going to do differently?

Emotionally? Physically?

I’m just not gonna let
my emotions

get the best of me.

All right. All right.

Last time on a very
dramatic episode

of "Days of our Wipeouts."..

Yanni cried.

Like, a lot.
An uncomfortable amount.

My girl Yanni
looking to make things

right this time
at the Big Balls and

she reenacts the shower scene
from "The Crying Game."

If you don’t mind me asking,

why the heck
did you pick this team?

They left
a good impression on me.

She also left
a good impression

on that Big Ball.

Tesfa noodles his way
through the Jigglelator.

He’s about to get knocked
into the soup. Watch this.

Or not.

Oh, wow!
That jump is almost impossible

and Tessfoam
made it look easy.

All we need is
a little Yanni now.

Does she have any relation
to the adult

contemporary new age
national treasure Yanni?

Don’t distract me with
stupid questions right now.

There you go.

That was too close
for comfort.

Those stairs are covered in
her tears from the last time.

Yes!
She did it!

I can’t believe it!
Both of them did it!

Even I got to say
that is unbelievable.

This is never been done
before this season.

Let’s go!
That’s redemption, baby!

Ramen is a dish
best served hot.

No one has ever landed

the whole squad
on that platform right there.

That’s a "Wipeout" first.

Both teammates
landing that jump.

Their time of 6 minutes
and 15 seconds is impressive,

but even more impressive

is the fact
that Yanni didn’t cry.

I’ll admit your teams
look strong, Byer.

Good thing I brought
a little insurance.

This is Seth and Rebecca,
my car insurance agents.

Last time I focused too much
on your deductible, you know.

This time

We’re focusing on
the redemption of "Wipeout."

Exactly.
Yes.

The best part about it
is you guys

have a chance to do it again.

And we can do it.
Yes.

Just like we can sell you
insurance or at least

Yes.
Yeah?

Wow, that’s a big win
for Seth.

Let’s see if he can bring
that luck onto the course.

Rebecca, I believe in you!

John Cena believes
in you too, Rebecca.

Looking sure on her feet now
as she gets swept off the

Oh, no!
I don’t know what to do!

Insurance isn’t going
to help with that!

No problem.

She’s just going to take it
all the way round

to the back door.

Whoa!
Oh, no!

I love watching
your team struggle.

You know with this effort,

Camille will definitely
buy insurance from us.

You know for as much as
I give Rebecca and Seth

a hard time about
selling me auto insurance,

I really appreciate
their passion for it.

What are you most passionate
about, Nicole?

Wiping your team
off the planet

and any movie
with Crispin Glover.

Well, I’m gonna crush
your dreams just like Seth

is crushing this Jigglelator.

Here comes his big
finishing move.

You got it! Hang on!
Make that jump!

Ooh!

I guarantee Jake
from State Farm

would have nailed that jump.

There it is.
That’s the time.

A final time of 5 minutes
and 36 seconds

is great for
a couple of insurance nerds,

but Nicole’s Superstar Fiancés
still lead the pack.

You b*at your time
by a minute and a half.

Beautiful.

Whoo!
I love it!

Not as much as I love it,
Sethie boy.

We are halfway through this
qualifier and after four teams

my Superstar Fiancés had
the fastest time of the day.

But your Ramenistas
have the slowest.

They’re just saving
their energy.

Up next, we got more team
John versus Team Nicole

and a whole lot
more redemption.

Whoa!

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Nicole, very serious
question here.

How much Jiggling
is too much jiggling?

I don’t know if there’s ever
too much jiggling

’cause if there is then
I guess my whole body’s wrong.

Welcome back
to "Wipeout" redemption.

An incredible journey of
perseverance, second chances

And repeat failures.

What do you think is

the greatest sports redemption
story of all time?

Possibly WrestleMania 29,
when John Cena redeemed himself

by defeating The Rock with
a classic Attitude Adjustment

to win his 11th WWE title.

Or when Nicole Byer watched
"Bridgerton"

straight through with no water,
food, or pee breaks.

Eh. Speaking of no breaks,
Camille’s got her hands full

with James
and Mitch of Larpe Diem.

The next team
repping Team John.

This is the most physical
he’s ever been with a girl.

You can s*ab him too.
Yah!

And he takes it like
a pretend man.

I’ll actually hold on to it.

Last time on "Wipeout,"
the role players Larpe Diem

were a little bogged down
by their heavy armor.

They created
a ton of wipeouts

and one powerful archnemesis.

You will never defeat me,
Larper James.

All right, James,
you got this!

With vengeance in his eyes,

Larper James approaches
the battle of Big Balls.

Where Smallsy’s
already waiting.

You could not
defeat my brother.

You shall not defeat me.

He storms the b*ttlefield
like his mom

just said
5 minutes until bedtime.

And he takes out Smallsy.
That’s got to feel good.

I bet he can’t wait to tell
all his friend about this.

Go for it!
Don’t mess this up.

Mitchell now faces
his dark past.

He is no match
for the Smack Wall

and the slippery flight
of stairs.

Clearly, he knows the Smack
Wall is there this time right?

Just go for it, Mitch!

Well, now he should.

If you don’t learn
from your past mistakes

then you’re destined

to make the same ones
over and over again.

Like continuously hitting
on the same girl at Hot Topic

only to be escorted out
by security again and again.

The ball d*ed!
I love you guys.

I’m so happy you’re back.
Do you think you’re moving on

to the gauntlet again
for another chance?

We’ll see.
We’ll see?

Only if the other teams
mess up bad enough.

7 minutes and 7 seconds is
normally a respectable time,

but remember these teams today
are skilled

and hungry for redemption.

The Larpers
didn’t seize the day.

But my next team

Gary and Grace,
the Kaluzas, are about to.

Why did these two decide
to come back?

Redemption!
Yes.

What are you going
to do different?

We have a new song.

While the balls kick my ass
and I drop with a smash

I fell down on my knees now
there’s no turning back

We want redemption

Whoo!
- We want redemption

Yeah!
- We want redemption

So their only training
was writing a song?

Come on, Dodge,
you got this!

"Wipeout" is all mental.

You have to put a little jazz
with the Wallop Wall.

Whoa!

Well, good thing
he loves jazz

because
now he’s in "La La Land."

He said his goal coming here
was to embarrass his family.

Maybe Gary’s just checking
things off the honeydo list?

Did he just call her
his mud puppy boo boo?

That’s a family name
taken after their ancestor.

Jebidiah Mud Puppy Boo Boo.

Oh, no, no, no, no! Ooh!

A daddydaughter date
at the Cheesecake Factory

would have been a better
choice for these two.

Ooh!

That was not a good swim.

Tough break, Nicole.

This next group from my team
will surely top this.

John,
you’re for make me crazy.

More like tapas this.

Repping Team John,
Flamenco Cousins,

Kaylani and Sophia
are getting warmed up.

Here we go. I got positive
vibes about this team.

Oh!

You’d think the giant
red boxing glove

would be an indicator to duck.

They’re Flamenco dancers,
Nicole, not boxers.

Fast forward to
the Jigglelator where

my tiny dancers are on track
for a redeeming time

if they can just
hold it together.

Watch out,
it’s gonna punch you.

"Watch out,
it’s gonna punch you,"

is the title of every viral
video starring Russell Crowe.

Ooh!

It’s so high up.

These dancing cousins
are so in sync they know

how to choreograph in the air
over multiple episodes.

With a red hot time
of 5 minutes and 52 seconds,

who’s ever going next
for Team Nicole

has their work cut out
for them.

Nips up for Nicole!

It’s Ricky and Rick.

I almost didn’t
recognize them

without the holes
in their shirts.

We’re so close actually

that we have
our same third nipple out here.

This is my secret
to success down here.

Wait, so he has three
nipples and one foot?

How could you forget
something like that, John?

All right. So what are you
going to do differently?

The Big Balls, they got me.

It’s not going
to happen this time.

You are ready to conquer
the Big Balls?

Little Ricky
only got two balls

under his belt last time.

Let’s see how his second sh*t
at the Big Balls goes.

His father and the world
watching.

There you go!
Way to keep your balance.

Whoa!
Ooh!

That was worse
than the original.

That was "The Godfather III"
of attempts.

Give you a 10 on that one.
Ahh!

That third nipple gives him
a little extra bounce.

Ooh!

The Motivator also gives him
a little extra bounce.

Whoa!

But now it’s daddy’s turn
to take on the Jigglelator.

Redemption on this guy.
He got you last time.

He’s got to nip this
in the bud.

Rick’s having flashbacks to
his first tour in Jigglenam.

I’ll just be happy
if he doesn’t get hit

by the yellow Smack Wall
again.

Ooh! Dang it!

Don’t feel bad.

You know who else is
in the triple nipple club?

Marky Mark, Bill Paxton,
Harry Styles.

Harry actually
has four nipples.

Don’t you nipsplain me.

That was fast, boys. You guys
are moving on to the gauntlet.

Congratulations!

At 5 minutes and 48 seconds,
ThreeNip Ricks

are just happy to get that
qualifier off their chest.

Here’s who’s headed
to the gauntlet,

repping Team John,
The Insurance Agents,

Frisbee Camp Counselors,
and the Flamenco Cousins.

And for Team Nicole,
Superstar Fiancés,

ThreeNip Ricks,
and the Ramenistas.

Six teams all fighting for
that sweet rush of redemption.

But there’s only room
for one winner at the top.

You know, John,
you got the range, I love it.

Nicole, you’re talking to me
about range?

Aren’t you doing a podcast
simultaneously right now?

Yes. I am recording a podcast

right now with my thoughts
and talking to you.

Welcome back, America,

to this very special redemption
episode of "Wipeout."

Six returning teams,
all with something to prove,

have made it past the qualifier

and are moving on
to the gauntlet.

The gauntlet will be done
in two heats.

Each heat, three teams
competing at the same time

will be practically
climbing over one another,

starting at the CarousHell.

Then it’s a foot race
through the disgusting mud

pits and slippery slopes
of the Messy Mile.

And finally,
the Pummel Pool,

where the choice between
the revolving French Fries

and the giant
spinning lollipop

could make or break it all.

The first team to have both
members cross the finish line

moves on to
the Wipeout Zone.

The two heats of today’s
gauntlet have been divided

by Team John and Team Nicole.

And then going by that
old adage "Age before beauty",

Team John will be going first.

Enter the Johntlet.

I can’t believe
you had someone

make a graphic for that.

Fighting for redemption
and my honor today

are
the Flamenco Cousins,

the Frisbee Camp Counselors,
and the Insurance Agents.

Were you scared the first
time you were done with it?

Nathan, we won.
I know but it’s scary.

It’ll be solid.
You’ll be good. It’ll be fine.

All right, you guys
know the drill.

One of you will move on
to represent

John in the Wipeout Zone.
But first, the gauntlet.

Here we go. Three, two, one!

And they are off.

All right.
Who wants to go first?

Who wants to fall?

These teams should make
quick work of the Propeller

as they’ve
all been here before.

Ooh! These guys
aren’t rookies anymore.

We have the veterans returning.

Oh!

This is borderline
embarrassing.

Just give them a sec.

They’rethey’re just
getting warmed up.

I believe in you.
I believe in you.

I believe in you.
I believe in you.

That’s what I say
to the mirror every morning

and it doesn’t work.

Seth’s positivity works.
Yes. Good job, Becca.

Agent Rebecca is on.

The Insurance Agents
had the secondfastest time

in the qualifier today

and they’re off to a good
start here in the gauntlet.

I always say the gauntlet
is like learning

how to ride a bike.
Ow!

To be great you probably have
to be on a lot of steroids.

Insurance Agent Rebecca
not failing so far.

Gets some initial pushback
from the sweeper

but hangs on
and makes it through.

Seth, I got it!
I know. I’m coming.

Frisbee Camp Counselor Riley

takes matters into his own
hands and gets it.

Whew.

You got this!

I’m scared.
You got it. You got it, dude.

No time for chitchat
as Counselor Riley

is making his way
to the exit platform.

And he makes it.

Orange and green team
each have one member

through the Caroushell.
They just need to wait

for their partners
before they can advance.

Did it get any easier
this time?

Oh, yeah! I’m not wet yet.

I know you’re not even wet.

FYI, your teams are bragging
after one obstacle.

I know you’ve got this!
Koala bear.

Agent Seth actually goes
and makes it.

The koala bear strategy is
both effective and adorable.

Do you know koala babies
eat their mother’s poo?

Ugh, I didn’t.

And I’m going to pretend
I still don’t.

Seth makes it through

and waits patiently
for his rideshare across.

Whatever you’re
comfortable with!

Typical insurance
salesman line.

Seth grabs a ring.
Takes a hit from the sweeper.

Takes another hit.
And joins his partner.

We got it! Go, Becca! Go!

While everyone else
is just kind of sitting there.

A real elite group of teams
you assembled here, Cena.

Well, Flamenco Kaylani
must’ve just heard you

because there she goes.
And she makes it across.

Lay down. Lay down.
Take your time.

Imagine you’re hugging a corgi.

And Counselor Anna lands the
propeller for the first time

in either of her
gauntlet appearances.

Yes! Yes, let’s go!

And she makes it across.
Not wanting to be left alone

at the starting line,
Flamenco Sophia...

Freaking finally!

Gets in step
with the propeller.

Up ahead, the Insurance Agents
have a decent lead,

but for how much longer
remains to be seen.

I’m guessing not much
because Flamenco Kaylani

twirls across safely.

Just as Frisbee
Camp Counselor Anna

gives it
her signature spin.

And now Flamenco Sophia
decides to join the party too.

They have all just made
the exit platform

and are moving on
to the Messy Mile.

The Flamenco Cousins
finished fifth

in the qualifier today,

but with redemption
on the line,

these two
are moving in double time.

Up ahead,
Insurance Agent Seth

comes face to face with his
old nemesis, Mt. Wipeout.

I can defeat you all.

Oh! Ooh!

And history repeats itself.

Why did I do that again?

Well, if he wants
to represent

my team in the Wipeout Zone,
be better

’cause the Flamencos and
the Frisbee Camp Counselors

are both coming in fast.

I’m jumping, right?
You’re good.

Well, it looks like Seth
figured it out just in time

because the Insurance Agents

are jumping
into the Pummel Pool.

Ahh!

John Cena!

Yes?
Are you watching?

Like it’s my job.

You are also watching
their lead disappear, John,

because here comes
the other two teams.

You got to love the fight

in all three
of these Team John duos.

They came here for redemption
but only one team will get it.

I believe in you.
Ha!

I think him saying that
actually tripped her up.

That’s why I prefer a partner

who just sits there
and looks pretty.

Point taken.

What are you doing?

Just sitting here
looking pretty well.

Well, get back to work,
pretty boy,

there’s a gauntlet going on.

Agent Rebecca,

still in the big ball,
pulls herself up. Jumps.

And showing off
the veteran move

by going slow and steady
across the tippy table.

And makes it across.

Good job.

Let’s see if Seth has
the same kind of mentality.

Spoiler alert, nope.

I’m stuck.
Aw, he’s stuck.

Maybe he’s having
a midlife crisis.

Well, as much
as he’d like to,

he can’t lay around
in a ball all day

because here come
the Flamenco Cousins.

Meanwhile, Agent Rebecca
has reached the point

where she couldn’t get past
last time

with failures on both
the lollipop and the Fries.

I struggled last time.

She’s going Fries.
And makes it look easy.

Whoo!

And like a good partner,
Seth is right there.

He makes it past
the tippy table.

Nice save, Seth.

He knows a thing or two
about saving.

Frisbee Counselor Riley’s
first time in the Pummel Pool,

but sensing the urgency he
takes off and makes it across.

Yeah.
Go, Becca, I believe in you!

In case you haven’t heard,
Seth believes in Rebecca.

But she also must believe
in herself

because she just made it

through the gauntlet
without wiping out once.

Ouch! Ouch! I’m good.

Doesn’t count.

But Rebecca hasn’t
punched her ticket

to the Zone quite yet.

And counts that Riley
goes for the lollipop

to try to make sure
it stays that way.

Ooh!

And flings himself
over the edge.

Agent Seth follows
in his partner’s footsteps

and goes Fries.
And he makes it.

Yeah!

Insurance for the win!

If he pulls this off I might
actually sign up for a policy

instead of ghosting him.

I’m riding a horsey!

You did it!

John Cena, Mama Katherine!
We did it!

The Insurance Agents,
Rebecca and Seth,

are representing Team John
in the Wipeout Zone.

Congratulations.
You did it.

John, you better be proud.
Redemption.

Proud?
You haven’t won anything yet.

They’ve won my heart.

Well, they can have
your big, dumb heart

because whoever wins heat two

of the gauntlet
for Team Nicole

will be taking down
the Insurance Agents for 25K.

We’ll see about that.

More wipeouts and smack talk
to come as the final

Wipeout Zone
of the season draws near.

Including one of the gutsiest

Silver b*llet landings
we’ve ever seen.

Damn it!
I would copay the hell

out of whatever insurance
she’s selling me.

Wow!

I once did a job
where thisthe director

spent 45 minutes
on a insert of a napkin.

And then when I saw
the episode,

there was no insert
of a napkin.

45 minutes on an insert?

Yeah.

Welcome back to a very special

redemption episode
of "Wipeout."

Nicole, what would you say
is my most redeeming quality?

I would say your kindness.

Really? Wow!

I was expecting a sarcastic
answer, but that’s very sweet.

Thank you.

Like it’s very kind of you
to accept a certain defeat

after Team Nicole
kicks the everliving crap

out of Team John’s Insurance
Agents in the Wipeout Zone.

There it is.

Well, let’s not waste any time
finding out

who will be
representing you in the Zone.

It all hinges on who wins this
next heat of the gauntlet.

In purple,
we have Superstar Fiancés.

The Ramenistas in pink.

And ThreeNip Ricks
topping things off in yellow.

All right, you guys.
You’ve been here before.

Are you ready to do it again?

Yeah!

It is time
to make Nicole proud.

First team to meet
goes to Wipeout Zone.

Three, two, one, go!

My favorite part.

Getting to see which
one of your teams fails first.

My Superstar Fiancé
is not afraid of commitment.

Wow, that was smooth
as.

Jason was the first person

to finish
the gauntlet last time.

You know, just btdubs.

He seems like a quick
finisher.

Let’s see if ThreeNip Rick
can figure this propeller out.

Yes, baby!

Just like the extra bounce,
his third nipple

gives him more suction.

His chest is like
an octopus tentacle.

And now Superstar Jason
takes a little pounding

but makes it across
the Caroushell unscathed.

That hurt.

I’ll massage that
for you, Jay.

Ramenista Tess holds that
thing like a sticky noodle.

Is it me or is everyone on
my team k*lling it right now?

What was that? I’m sorry.

You were saying something
but I couldn’t hear you

over the loud
splashing sound of failure.

Well, hear this.

ThreeNip Ricky
is about to make mama proud.

Ahh! The groin.

Ouch! His little Ricky is
definitely gonna get the MVP.

Gotta pass on that
ThreeNip gene.

His dad also takes a little
damage to the family jewels.

But joins Superstar Jason
across the Caroushell.

And now here comes Tessfoam
from the Ramenistas

swinging across.

Absolutely nothing
will stop him.

Except a smooth
landing apparently.

With the Ramenistas
out for lunch,

Superstar Fiancé Delaney
nails the propeller.

That’s how she hung on to
Jason when they first met

and now she is well
on her way.

As Yanni finally grabs
the propeller

like a chopstick
over a bowl of tonkatsu.

There you go, Yanni!

Everyone off
that first platform.

Ahh!
Oh, hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Rick, grab him. Grab him.
Yellow’s moving. Let’s go.

Looks like their six nipples
and three feet

are marching into
the Messy Mile with the lead.

Here comes
my first Ramenista

across the Caroushell.

Come on. Stay high,
stay high, stay high.

And now Jason’s girl,
Superstar Delaney,

takes a little coaching
from her man to get across.

Come on.
We got time, we got time.

Let’s go, let’s go,
let’s go, let’s go. Push it.

The Superstar Fiancés slide
into the mud of the Messy Mile

not far behind those
ThreeNip Ricks.

Come on, Micko.

I love how supportive
his dad is.

Ugh!
So much support.

Breathe.

Breathe.

And now for a mindfulness
moment of meditation

from the wellness guru
ThreeNip Rick.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Snap out of it, Rick,
this is a race!

There you go.

Back at the Caroushell,
Yanni finally makes it across.

Let go. There you go.

She may be in last place
right now

but I’m proud of her
for not crying.

Yet.
Slide down.

My ThreeNips are looking

to extend
their lead on Mt. Wipeout.

Come on, Micko,
we are almost there.

Be honest,
do you have a favorite team?

John!
My teens are like my children.

I resent them all
for different reasons.

Whoohoo!

The father and son duo

become the first
of Nicole’s teams

to enter the Pummel Pool.

Hey, uh, Nicole.
Hey, uh, what?

Do you think the water’s
a little nippy right now?

That is such
a threenipple dad joke.

You got this.

Don’t count out
my Superstar Fiancés yet.

They are hot on the trail
in the Messy Mile.

Do you think this is going to

be good for
their marriage or really bad?

Asking for a friend.

Meanwhile, ThreeNip Rick
makes the pink ball

and Tippy Table
look like he’s done it before.

Which he has.

Third Nip Junior is through
the Tippy Table

with a little help
from his dad.

Yes.
Okay, go.

And not far behind,
Superstar Fiancés

are almost
at the peak of Mt. Wipeout.

We got to hurry.

Took the words right out
of my mouth, honey.

You got to hurry if you want a
sh*t at that sweet redemption.

The Ramenistas
are still pushing

through the Messy Mile.

Tessfoam and Yanni
are in the mud.

They came for that redemption.

That’s what they tell me

when I bring my convertible
through the carwash.

There you go. Come on.

Meanwhile, Fiancé Jason
takes on the Pink Ball,

the Tippy Table,

and then almost a face full
of Ricky’s tookus.

Getting crowded out there.

Jason and Delaney catching up
to Rick and Ricky.

Anybody’s game.

Ricky tries his luck
with the Fries.

And he’s the first
to squeeze his way through.

These teams are ferocious.

They want this bad
the second time around.

Speaking of
second time’s around,

it’s ThreeNip Rick’s turn

for a little redemption
on the Fries and

History repeats itself.

The only French Fries
I don’t like are those.

Full disclaimer,
I still love all fries.

As Superstar Delaney joins our
man across the Tippy Table.

But just as little Ricky

and his three teets
cross the finish line safely.

It’s all up to his dad now.

It’s the old man
versus the young lovers

as Superstar Fiancés
face down the Fries.

Jason knows how to handle
the under the gauntlet.

He’s done this before.

Let’s see if Delaney
can catch up.

You know she’s determined
to get redemption here.

Last time Jason
made it through

and with all eyes on her,

she couldn’t rise
to the occasion.

She’s got to make this right.

Here’s her chance.

This is what redemption
is all about, people.

What’s the opposite
of redemption called?

A minor setback,
but it’s not going to stop

Jason from leaving
his fiancée behind

as he slides
across the finish.

Rick and his three udders
aren’t going to milk

this thing any longer.
And he’s through the Fries.

Don’t count out Delaney
though, she landed Jason.

She could do anything.

Sometimes there’s no time.

If Rick lands this
there it is.

That’s it.
Two Ricks, three feet,

and six nipples walk
into the Wipeout Zone.

How does it feel?
Feels awesome.

Redemption!
Whoo!

Ricky, how are you feeling?

I feel great, Camille,
I’d feel a lot better

if you gave me the honor
of doing a Gronk spike

to my special,
special foot here.

Here it is.

For Rick and Ricky
to the "Wipeout" Zone.

Three, two, one

Yeah!
Whoo!

That was amazing.

And I have no idea if Gronk
would be proud of that or not.

There’s even more wipeouts,
more redemption,

and failures
ahead in our ultimate

Wipeout Zone matchup
against the Insurance Agents

from Team John

and the ThreeNip Ricks
from Team Nicole.

Someone’s getting redeemed

and someone’s
getting ’reemed

all with 25 big ones
on the line.

It’s all up next.

I love fatherson duos.

That’s what I’m constantly
searching for on the Internet.

Welcome back to "Wipeout."

We’ve made it
to the Wipeout Zone,

the Nicole Byer of courses.

Why is it
the Nicole Byer of courses?

Because it’ll leave you wet,
in pain, out of breath,

and there is no guarantee
you’ll finish.

So sorry I asked.

So who will get
redemption tonight?

Will it be Rebecca and Seth
representing my crew?

Or will it be Rick and Ricky
for Team Nicole?

Let’s take a look
at the course.

We’ve made it to the top
of the mountain,

The Wipeout Zone.
This colossal course

is made up of four stages
done relay style,

with each contestant
attempting two obstacles.

The first team member
will get sh*t out

from our speeding
Silver b*llet

into freezing cold
waters below.

From there they’ll swim
to the giant spinning vertigo,

where they’ll attempt to
maneuver from peg to peg

without losing their grip
or their lunch.

They’ll need to press
the button in the middle

to lower the bridge before
they can leap to safety.

That’s when they’ll tag
their partner

to take on the leap of faith.

Well, they’ll have
to launch themselves

onto one of the spinning arms,
maintain their balance

and jump to the narrow
platform on the other side.

It’s tough but if they
successfully make it across,

they’ll arrive
at the final challenge.

The Triple thr*at.

If a contestant can somehow
make it

from one spinning hexagon
to the next

and safely leap
to the final platform

faster than their competition,
they’ll take home $25,000.

It all comes down to this
the Insurance Agents,

Seth and Rebecca
from Team John,

taking on ThreeNip Ricks
from Team Nicole.

Neither team has been
to the Wipeout Zone before

and all eyes
are on redemption.

Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go!

Insurance Agent Seth loads
up in the Silver b*llet

while his partner Rebecca
waits patiently for her chance

to claim the W
for the good guys.

Three, two, one.

I chose Rebecca and Seth

for a myriad of reasons
which I will explain.

Now, I love an underdog
and I also love insurance,

and they both sell insurance.

Interesting.
Yep.

It’s so cold now.
There you go.

Don’t think about the cold.
You got this!

I don’t understand insurance.

Kind of like a safety net,

but I know why
you don’t understand it

’cause there are no safety nets
here in "Wipeout."

He hits the button
triggering the landing zone.

He made it to the middle.
You didn’t even explain it.

I didn’t?
He’s extremely fast.

Byebye.

And he may need somesome
safetynet insurance there.

Yeah, I think so.

You just got to get to me,
Seth, you got this!

Back on the Vertigo.
Uhhuh.

What Seth needs to do is,
he’s already hit the button

and he’s in
a really good spot...

Stay on it.
Good, good, good.

Because he’s going
to take a leap

to that landing pad
on the other side.

Hell, yeah! Let’s go, Becca!
Way to go, Seth!

And I got to admit
they’re off to a great start.

I believe in you!

And now it’s Rebecca’s turn.
Whoo!

Honestly, I’m envious
of Rebecca.

I’ve never had a man
cheer that loud for me.

Rebecca now at Leap of Faith.
Yes.

Good job, good job, good job!
Try to make it.

Rebecca can do this.

If Rebecca can use her body
rightshe holds on!

Wow. Wow. Wow.
Leap of Faith destroyed

as the massive fireballs
would indicate.

I believe in you, Becca.

You are on Team John.
I know he’s rooting for you.

He is.

You think you’re gonna
make him proud?

Sure hope so.
Yes.

If Rebecca can manage
The Triple thr*at,

you’re certain for second best.

Wow! That scream.

John believes in you.
I believe in you.

I believe in you too.

So Rebecca didn’t use
her hands on the first run.

Okay, okay.
And again.

Wow!

Ooh!
Wow!

She understandsokay.

Ooh, dang!
Oh, ow!

Well, the name of the show
is "Wipeout."

It is.

She was giving us
some good material.

And Rebecca just wiped out.

It’s a little cold.

She’s cold.

Yes. Ice cold.

This must be extra difficult
to do

when you cannot
feel your fingers.

Yeah.

She’s going to
make that leap.

$25,000 on the line.

You can do it, Rebecca,
you can do it.

One last big leap.
You got this.

Oh, please.
Oh, please.

Damn it! No!
Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Oh, boy.

My emotions.

It’s not how many times
you fall that counts.

It’s how many times
you get back up.

But this game
is kind of about

how many times you fall though.

Ooh, Rebecca!

Rebecca’s back.

Back again.

Back again.
You got this.

You don’t know the meaning
of the word "give up."

You can do it.

$25,000, you could get
a Prius with that.

There you go.
There you go.

Preowned.

Yeah. Certified preowned.
Certified preowned.

Nice.
Go, go, go, go.

Nice!

I didn’t fall.

Nice, nice, nice.
I stayed up.

Nice!

Nice save.
Oh, thank God.

That was disaster aversion,
right there.

Yes, yes, yes.
Yes!

Get there! Yes!

Way to go, Rebecca.
Way to stick with it.

Damn it!
I would copay the hell

out of whatever insurance
she’s selling me.

I did it, John.

You guys were persistent
through the whole course,

you didn’t give up
and you made it.

We’ll see how you did
when the dust settles.

Sounds good.
Thanks, John. Thanks, Nicole.

Thank you.
Awesome job.

You guys did an amazing job.
Thanks, guys.

The hardest working
Insurance Agents in town

clock in at 10 minutes
and 24 seconds,

but Nicole’s ThreeNip Ricks
still have a few things

to get off their chest.

This is going to be one
for the ages.

We’re back.

We’re here
in the Wipeout Zone

where things are reaching
a fever pitch.

That’s right. Anyone can win.

Well, not anyone.
That guy can’t win.

Right, he is a camera guy.

She can’t win.

Correct, she does wardrobe.

I mean, I am looking around

and there are literally dozens
of people who can’t win.

What the hell are you
talking about, John?

It was just an expression.

Words have meaning, John.

One of two remaining teams
could win.

That’s it. Let’s take a look
at the leaderboard.

My Insurance Agents
set the bar high with a time

of 10 minutes and 24 seconds.

Now it’s up to Team Nicole’s

ThreeNip Ricks to show us
what they’re made of.

Ricky Jr. Gets loaded
into the Silver b*llet

while his dad limbers up.

Nothing but redemption
on everyone’s mind.

Seth and Rebecca watch on
in anticipation.

Three, two, one.

Little Ricky making his swim
towards the ramp and Vertigo.

Now, Nicole, forgive me
if I’m not exactly cheering

my face off for Ricky and Rick.

Sure.

But Ricky needs
to negotiate vertigo.

Which means he needs to mount
the obstacle, hit the button,

bring the landing zone down

and leap safely to it
on the other side.

How do I do this?
Go for the corner blue.

All right, little Ricky.
Ooh!

I like to see that stuff.
Dang!

Come on, Ricky.

That’s all right.

Now, you know
what it feels like so let’s go.

I picked this team because
their names are Ricky and Rick,

which is a variation
of the same name.

Also, they each have
ThreeNipples.

So that’s six nipples
for two people.

That’s a lot of nipples.
It excites me.

It’s quirky. It’s cute.

Do you think they refer to it
as sixplay?

Maybe.

Oh, little Ricky, I need you
to get to the middle.

Yes, little Ricky.

Ricky gets to the middle.
Yes, little Ricky.

Hits the button.
That landing ramp is down.

That’s my team, baby.

Up, up, up one more.
Up one more.

Go higher, higheroh.

Is it so confusing
when you’re in there

trying to figure out
the way out?

Yeah.
It’s like a maze.

Kudos to you for choosing
a fatherson duo.

I love fatherson duos.

That’s what I’m constantly
searching for on the Internet.

You’re almost there, Rick.

Don’t make the jump.
Don’t make the jump.

Keep going, keep going.

Get to your feet, get to
your feet, get to your feet.

Yes, Ricky!
Oh, Ricky...

Yes, Ricky!

Lands on the landing pad...

Yes!
Tag to big Rick.

Here goes big Rick
for the leap of faith.

He has to leap
onto that swinging arm

and land safely on the platform
on the other side.

He’s on.
Oh, geez.

Yes! Yes!

Flawlessly!

Yes!

Your team is blistering
through the course.

Come on, big Rick.

All right, The Triple thr*at.

Becca, you know
what this is like.

Yes. It sucks.

10 minutes and 24 seconds
is the time to b*at

and this is the same spot
my Insurance Agents

got held up
for almost 4 minutes

after crushing
the first three obstacles.

Oh, dang!
Yeah.

And he wasted
a little bit of time.

The Triple thr*at
is very tough.

It is.

Multi obstacles each spinning
at their own pace

in different directions.

You have to jump from one
to the next and then make

a rather long leap
to the finish platform.

Yes.

Like everything I say,
it sounds easyit’s not.

It’s not.

And if you look over
our head

That’s a drone.
There is the drone camera.

I hope it’s a beautiful sh*t.

Big Rick on the first thr*at.

It looks like
he’s got his footing

and he’s got an approach.
Can he hold on?

He’s in the middle
of our threats.

He’s going for it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
It’s all Rick all the time.

He’s hustling.
He’s gonna make it!

My goodness!

Ricky and Rick have
slaughtered the Wipeout Zone.

A father and son embrace.

All those nipples
together once again.

Excuse me, Ricky, Rick.

Yes, ma’am.

You’re my team.
That’s right, baby.

I was betting on you guys.

That’s right.
And guess what?

What’s that?

You mother
were so fast,

you won "Wipeout"!

Oh, my God!
Yes!

You won 25,000 dollars!

Yeah!

That was intense.
That was good.

Thank you.
Muah! Muah!

Right from the getgo,

ThreeNip Ricks
meant business.

They came out with something
to prove to the world.

Even with a few setbacks,
the promise of redemption

can make
incredible things happen.

Nicole, we did it.
We made it to the end.

We did.
It wasn’t easy.

We had a lot of problems.

We were at
each other’s throats.

We almost k*lled each other,
but we did it.

Huh?

You know,
all the backstabbing,

the doublecrossing,
the near poisonings.

You tried to poison me?

I said near poisonings,
but in the end,

it turned out to be
a phenomenal experience.

Thank you, John.

Thank you, Nicole.

We’ll be back
with more big balls soon.

That’s a promise.
But until then, I’m John Cena.

And for Camille Kostek,
I’m Nicole Byer

saying good night
and big balls!
Post Reply