01x03 - Ribby & Croaks

[bunniefuu]

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe 29 miles ♪

♪ Where there's good, and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends! ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh, no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun! ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ A dash of heebie-jeebies! ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go!
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[upbeat jazz music playing]

Let me get this straight.
You expect me to believe

that you "sleep-ate" an entire container
of ice cream without waking up?

You expect me to believe you did.

And just who sleep-eats with a spoon?

People with manners.

You're nothing but a common thief!

-You're the thief!
-No, you are!

-No, you! No, you!
-No, you! No, you!

Enough!

You boys are family.

No use getting bent out of shape
about little stuff.

Just let it be water under the bridge.

Now, here's five bucks.

And some pocket lint.

Go do something fun together.
You two are brothers.

Why does he always get the five bucks?!

And why does he always get
the pocket lint?

No, you do!

-No, you! No, you!
-No, you! No, you!

Out!

I say we just take the money
and buy some more ice cream.

[sighs] Look, if we invest it,

we could have as much ice cream
as we want when we're older.

But I want ice cream now!

-You don't have to be such a--
-[foghorn blares]

Head right up, folks. We cast off
in a few minutes. Get on the boat.

Hey, hey! Looks like we got
a couple of VIPs on our hands.

Youse two want
the premium treatment, don't yas?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

[chuckles]

What's with those gloves?

-Ho-oh, we used to be pro boxers.
-Champions!

But, our dear old ma,
she hated when we pounded each other.

So we opened this club!
We're respectable types now.

Anybody says different, I'll pound 'em!

Ha-ha! Croaks is just kidding!
Check this out!

Want an evening you'll never forget?

We got first-class entertainments,

ballroom dancing,

and fine dining.

[ding]

Mugsy, look!

"Free ice cream with entry."

Ice cream!

Not so fast!

[thud]

Cover charge is 20 bucks.

We don't have that much.

Hmm… Well, how much you got?

[Cuphead] Five bucks and some pocket lint.

You know what $5 gets you?

Ice cream?

A kick in the pants!

[both yell]

[laughing hysterically]

Did you see how far
I kicked that little punk?

-You saying you better than me?
-So what if I am?

[bell dings]

Oh! Hello, Mr. Mayor., Mrs. Mr. Mayor.

We're respectable types.

-Say any different and I'll pound you!
-Oh!

[laughs] This guy! Always with the jokes!

Please, step right inside.

Hmph!

This is an outrage!

They stole our five bucks.

-They kicked us in the river!
-[Cuphead] The lint!

[sad fiddle playing]

[sniffs]

Ice cream.

I smell ice cream!

[heavenly music plays]

Ooh… It's right under that vent.

Look!

[grunting]

[foghorn blares]

-We're shoving off!
-Let's go!

[straining]

[Ribby] Oh, hey! How youse doing, huh?

Looking good. Watch out for this guy.
Here comes trouble.

[Mugman] You sure this is right?

Shh, quiet! Someone might hear!

[Ribby] Hey! How'd you bozos get in?

[both gasp]

-[laughter]
-Just kidding… [chuckles]

Phew!

You fine folks are paying customers.
You ain't bozos.

Except for this clown.

[drum sting]

[laughter]

[honks]

But seriously, folks,

we'd like to start
the night off with a song.

[wistful music playing]

♪ Since we was tiny tadpoles ♪

♪ There's only been one gal ♪

♪ She washed and clothed and fed us
And boosted our morale ♪

♪ We owe her everything we gots
Everything we ever had ♪

♪ And she never did run out on us ♪

♪ Not like our crummy dad ♪

♪ Two, three, four! ♪

♪ Mudda! We love ya, Mudda! ♪

♪ In this garlic bread called life
She was the butter! ♪

♪ She told us, "Boys, don't fight" ♪

♪ She taught us wrong from right ♪

♪ Her heart, it was pure gold! ♪

-You're stepping on my fingers!
-Watch it!

[growls]

-[clattering]
-♪ She was our mudda! ♪

We miss youse, Ma!

-[grunting]
-[clangs]

Hey-o! Who's up there?

[Croaks] Come here, firefly.

[g*n cocks]

[tense music plays]

Oh! Ow!, Hot, hot, hot! Ow!

[both yell]

[thud]

[yelps]

Ma's on fire!

-You saying it's my fault?
-So what if I am?

[bell dings]

[guests gasp]

[chuckles] All part of the show, folks.

Hey, you. Put out Ma.

Make with the music.

[upbeat piano music playing]

[air hisses]

[grunts]

[whirring]

-[female voice] Sherman!
-[gasps]

[chewing loudly]

Dorris? What are you doin' here?

You stood me up again!
You're always workin'!

Aw, sweetheart, I'm sorry.

No more excuses!

You missed my parents' "anniversiary."
You missed our "anniversiary!"

Anniversary! It's "anniversary"!

-[Dorris] That's what I said.
-No.

You said "anniversiary."
And you said it twice.

It's the only reason I brought it up.

Oh!

Here he goes again. Correctin' me!

This is why I don't tell you things.

-Like how your meat's escapin'.
-[gasps]

[rattling]

Hey! It's right there.

Now's our chance
to grab it and get outta here!

[Ribby] Hey!

Youse two bums didn't pay!

And you stole our five bucks!

-Come here!
-Whoa!

[yelling]

Get back here, you little creeps!

Hello, Mr. Mayor. Push in your chair?
How about a picture? Cheese!

[both exclaim]

[Croaks growls]

[grunts]

[Mugman yelps]

Cuphead! Cuphead! Cuphead!

[growling]

Whoa!

[dishes smashing]

[chuckling]

[Ribby grunts]

Phew!

[growls, grunts]

[groans]

[growls]

[panting]

[yelping]

[yelling]

[grunting]

[screams]

Get back here!

-Watch it! Come here, you.
-[chokes]

[g*n cocks]

[both yelp]

[screaming]

Ma!

[yelling]

All part of the show, folks.
All part of the show!

The ice cream!
Let's grab it and get outta here!

[Mugman] Wait.

I need to say something.

[yelling]

I'm sorry, Cuphead.

For sleep-eating my ice cream?

I didn't sleep-eat it.

I awake-ate it!

[sobs] I'm the worst brother ever!

Hey! No, you're not.

'Cause I awake-ate your ice cream too.

You did?

Aww!

[sobs] It's so beautiful how youse two
forgive each other like that. Oh!

We should try to be more like that.

I'm sorry we's always fighting.

Me too.

Youse two are family now.

And with family,
anything in the past is water under the--

[gargling]

[both gasp]

Our club! It's ruined!

You saying it's my fault?

So what if I am?

[bell dings]

Oh! Hello, Mr. Mayor., Mrs. Mr. Mayor.
I trust you had a wonderful evening.

[grunting]

[closing theme music playing]