01x06 - Ghosts Ain't Real

[bunniefuu]

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe 29 miles ♪

♪ Where there's good, and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends! ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh, no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun! ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ A dash of heebie-jeebies! ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go!
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[spooky music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[laughing]

Zombies are not as scary
as I thought they'd be.

I'm proud of ya. You only needed
to change your pants three times.

A new record.

Oh! It's late.
To make it home before dark,

we better take a shortcut
through the creepy cemetery.

[wolf howls]

Nothing scary about that.
Not to a record-breaker like me.

Attaboy, Mugsy.

[sinister music playing]

Hm…

Sure is a lot of tombstones.

Uh-huh.

[thunder rumbles]

Really starting to get dark now.

Some might find that unsettling,
but not me.

Good thing we're so brave.

I can't think of a time
I've been less scared.

-Nothing scary about a graveyard.
-Just a yard.

-For playing.
-We have a yard.

-We should vacation here.
-Live here!

I never wanna leave!

-[thunder cracks]
-[scream]

Well, I know what we're doing tonight.

Things just got a lot more interesting.

Go fish!

[grunts]

Huh?

[gasps]

Did you see that?
It slammed shut outta nowhere!

Okay. Let's get a grip on ourselves.
That was probably the wind.

Wind? What wind?
I didn't feel any wind. No wind.

Oh, no, no, no! It won't budge!

We're trapped!

[thunder cracks]

Relax. It just needs
a little elbow grease.

[strains]

Hm, stuck pretty good.

What are we gonna do?!

First, we're gonna calm down.

But what about g-g-ghosts?

Ah, banana oil! Ghosts ain't real!

[chuckles]

You hear that? We ain't real.

[snickers]

We ain't?

[grunts]

Shh!

Looks like we're stuck. Eh.
Someone will open it in the morning.

Till then, we'll spend the night
and make the best of it.

S-s-spend the night?
But what about the ghosts?

I don't like this, Cuphead.
I'm allergic to dead people.

For the last time, Mugsy.
Ghosts ain't real!

Now you clear a spot,
and I'm gonna get some firewood.

We're separating?

Well, do you wanna come with me
into the deep, dark woods?

[sinister music playing]

Is there a third, less terrifying option?

[sighs] Look, don't worry.
It'll be just like the movie.

You think you're gonna be scared,
but then it won't be so bad.

'Cause why?

'Cause I'm a big, strong man?

Well, sure.

But also because ghosts ain't real.

They better not be.
I'm all outta spare pants.

Just relax.
I'll be back before you know it.

[chattering]

-[owl hoots]
-[yelps]

[Cuphead] That was an owl.

[hooting]

[chuckles nervously]

[gulps]

[Cuphead] Typical Mugman.

Always getting himself
worked up over nothing.

[gasps] What was that?

Ooh!

Who's there?

[giggles]

Whoa!

[grunts]

[groaning]

Huh?

Hello.

[screams]

[whistles tunelessly]

[wind gusts]

[splutters]

[smacks lips]

[inhales]

[whistles]

[wheezes]

[yells]

[giggles]

Fireflies.

Cuphead was right. Ghosts ain't real.

You know,
it's actually kinda peaceful out here.

Just the sounds
of the wind, the owl, the--

[ghost] Disembodied voice behind you.

Real cute, Cuphead.

[sarcastic] Ha, ha, ha. Hilarious.

I know you're trying to scare me,
but I'm not falling for your--

[grunts]

…tricks.

Not funny, Cuphead.

I thought it was right funny.
But I ain't never heard of no Cuphead.

Top of the evening, love.

Cuphead! Cuphead!

Cuphead!

[both grunt]

[groaning]

I don't wanna alarm you,
but I think I saw a--

[screams] Ghosts!

[chattering]

♪ Don't believe what you heard
'Cause here is the deal ♪

♪ There is no need to panic 'cause ♪

♪ Ghosts ain't real ♪

-[evil cackling]
-[screaming]

♪ I don't believe in ghosts ♪

♪ They don't give me a fright ♪

♪ I don't believe in anything
That bumpity-bumps in the night ♪

[blows raspberry]

[both yelp]

[bell trills]

♪ If you see things
That you can't explain ♪

♪ Best to ignore them ♪

♪ Or go insane ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-oo! ♪

♪ You said they ain't real
They seem pretty real ♪

-[screams]
-♪ Whoo-oo-oo! ♪

♪ Listen, Mugman, we're caught in a jam
Pipe down 'cause we gotta scram! ♪

♪ I don't believe in ghosts
They don't give me a fright ♪

♪ I don't believe in anything
That bumpity-bumps in the night ♪

♪ I don't believe in spooks ♪

♪ But when I'm all alone ♪

♪ I've heard mysterious things
That bang and clang and-- ♪

[music stops]

[chattering]

[Cuphead] I know it's scary, Mugsy,
but you gotta stop chattering your teeth.

[Mugman] My teeth aren't chattering.

[both scream]

[upbeat Hispanic music playing]

A-ha!

[gasps]

-[kissing noises]
-[screams]

[both scream]

[music stops]

[yelling]

[eerie wailing]

[evil cackle]

[panting]

[whinnies]

[sinister laughter]

[panting]

Whoa!

We gotta find a way out!

Here's the way out.

-[horn blares]
-[yelps]

Here. Try this one.

[creepy wail]

[both scream]

Over here. Over here.

[distorted scream]

[panting]

-Here. Here. Here.
-No! No! No!

No more doors!

[screaming]

[grunting]

[thud]

Now do you believe in--

[screams]

[bell tolls]

Boo!

-Oof!
-Knock it off.

We got a real problem here.

[all exclaim]

["Funeral March" by Chopin playing]

One minute, we're all having fun.
The next minute, two cups are dead.

Oh, them poor little cups.

Shall we say a few words then?

Huh?

They're gone!

[Mugman] Come on!

[panting]

-We made it.
-Safe at last.

Phew!

[Elder Kettle screams]

Hideous zombies!

[screaming]

[Elder Kettle] Die, zombie, die!

[closing theme music playing]