01x06 - The Duck Brothers/Shirley the Medium

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program
to bring you...

Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage,
the Cowardly Dog.

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in
the middle of Nowhere

with her husband,
Eustace Bagge.

But creepy stuff happens
in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage
to save his new home.

Stupid dog.

You made me
look bad.

- Ooga Boogga Boogga!
- Aahhh!

MAN:
Number 8...Number 8...

[snoring]

COURAGE:
Is it morning already?

[screams]

[Courage babbles]

Leave me be, you
good-for-nothing dog.

[Courage whines]

Stupid dog!

But it was up there.

DUCK: Shut up or
you'll you wake her.

SECOND DUCK:
No, you'll wake her.

No, you.

I'd told you to stop doing that.
You'll wake her.

Besides, we don't lay eggs.
We're duck brothers.

Stop telling
me what to do.

Oh, be quiet and
help me with this.

Excellent.

But she was in the sky.

Ooh!

[babbling]

You already caused
enough trouble.

Don't wake me up again.

Eek!

This is not
like her. Ooh!

GUARD:
Halt! Who goes there?

Oh, it's a sweet old lady.

FIRST DUCK:
I told you to stop doing that.

COMPUTER:
Number 8...Number 8...

just stop laying eggs
and concentrate.

Oh, you're not
the boss of me.

[coughing]

Give it here.

I'm clear, I'm clear.

So who's complaining now?

Huh? Huh?

Hey! A nice little old lady.

What are you doing here?

COMPUTER:
Number 8...Number 8...

[German accent]
Duck.

DUCKS:
Ow!

Do you give?
Do you give?

DUCKS:
Hey!

[snoring]

[ducks, Courage
gasping for breath]

DUCKS:
Ooh!

Yeah, that's right.
You'd better run.

How does this
thing work?

Come on, come on.

Uh, oh, oh. Huh?

We have not yet
begun to fight.

[screaming]

J" Oh, mama,
you know what I want J"

We'll knock
her block off.

You and who else?

Yeah, yeah.

Right jab, left hook.

No, no. Cover his face.

Leave me alone.
I know what I'm doing.

Oh, you know what
you're doing, hey?

S' Shake it, baby S'

COURAGE:
Hey, hey.

Let's have a fair fight.
No low blows.

Ok, ok.
Any other rules?

Yeah, for one thing.

None of this.

DUCKS:
Ouch.

And, none of this.

Ow!

And none of this.

Ouch.

Got it?

I think so.
You mean, none of this?

Ouch.

And we can't do this?

Hey! Ow!

And we certainly
won't do this.

Oh!

Is that it?

Yeah. You got it.

S' Come on, baby S'

[gasps]

DUCKS:
Oh!

Now look what you did.

What I did?

Now what are
we going to do?

Why are you asking me?

Oh, so you don't have
all the answers, hey?

Just leave me
alone. [weeps]

Stop telling me
what to do. [weeps]

Hey, fellows.
What's the matter?

It's--it's
our brother.

He's in there.

Will you stop
interrupting me.

Our brother
was captured.

And now he's going to get
cooked unless we get him out.

And now we'll
never get him out.

We didn't mean
to hurt anyone.

We just wanted to get
our brother out.

Why didn't you
just ask for help?

I told you we
should have asked.

You never said that.

Yes, I did.

No, you didn't.

You were too
busy laying eggs.

Fellas...

Stop talking
about my eggs.

Fellas!

Eggs.eggs,
eggs,eggs,eggs!

Fellas!

DUCKS:
What?

Don't worry,
I'll help you.

You will? How
can you help us?

I have a plan.

[Courage whispering]

[ringing]

Hey!
A cute little doggy.

What are you doing here?

COURAGE [German accent]:
Duck.

Hey!
Bring that duck back.

What am I
going to serve?

[German accent]
Strudel.

Oh! Good idea.

I don't know how we
can ever thank you.

Me, neither.

THIRD DUCK:
I'm so happy, I could just...

All right, can we just
stop doing that?

You did it, too.

I was just overcome.

I won't let it
happen again.

Don't try to hide
your emotions.

I'm not hiding
anything.

I just don't think it's appropriate for
duck brothers to lay eggs.

THIRD DUCK: I don't think it's
right for you to judge us.

Maybe we should have just left you
there in the kitchen, huh?

COURAGE:
Oh!

How lovely.

Can you believe the special
treatment we're gettin'?

Uh-huh.

Technology.

COMPUTER:
Number 8.

COURAGE:
I know I put it here somewhere.

Oh!

Hey. What's this?

Ah, your sweet brother.

I do miss him.

Blah! Blah! Blah!
I don't.

You two never got along.

And today is his
birthday, isn't it?

Who cares? Anyway,
the bum d*ed without telling me

where he hid his
box full of money.

So, happy birthday
to nobody.

[Courage mumbles]

Get away from me.

[mumbling]

[Courage whines]

What's the matter
with you, dog?

One little clue
is all I...

[Courage mumbling]

[yelling]

You stupid...

That's it!

That's the box I've
been looking for.

Good dog, Courage.

I wonder what's
in it, Eustace.

I'll tell you what's
in it: his money.

My good-for-nothing
brother's money.

It's all mine.

I'm gettin' me tools.

[monster growling]

[screams]

No!

What's the matter
with you, dog?

[babbling]

[screams]

[growls]

Don't open that.

Stupid dog.

Oh!

[Eustace groans]

Stupid box.

I can't open it without
the stinkin' key.

Darn that Horst.
He hated me.

What a shame you and Horst
never settled your troubles.

TV". The channeling channel will
return after a word from our sponsor.

Are you trying
to contact the dead?

Are you trying
to reach the--

Blah! Blah! Blah!

Shirley the Medium can put you in
touch with the hereafter.

So you all can live--and
die--happily ever after.

What a wonderful idea.

We can hire Shirley.

You and your brother can lay your
troubles to rest once and for all.

Our differences
are settled.

He's dead,
and I ain't.

Come now, Eustace.

Isn't there anything you'd want
to talk to him about?

It is his birthday.

Yeah. Now that I think
of it, there is.

Heh, heh, heh.

[Courage gasps]

Don't worry, Courage, dear.

I'll feed you in a minute.

Oh, I just know something
bad is going to happen,

or my name is Archibald.

And it's not.

COURAGE:
Ew?

One thing: if you contact
the dead for personal gain,

there will be
tragic consequences.

EUSTACE: Just dial my
dead brother and shut up.

SHIRLEY:
Join hands.

["Telephone" ringing]

You're on my
payroll now.

Wake up and get my
brother on the line.

[ringing]

The party is
not answering.

He never took my calls.

Courage, babbling:
...Yo-yo?

I shall try.

I see, I see, I see!

[gasps]

A yo-yo.

Yes.
I see a yo-yo.

It is under the sofa.

[groans angrily]

Try my brother again.

[ringing]

WOMAN:
Hello? Hello?

Aunt Gertrude?

Oh, for pete's sake.

GERTRUDE: Muriel, oh, Muriel.
How are you?

I'm just fine,
thank goodness.

Hang up, you're
tying up the line.

GERTRUDE: You are using
vinegar, aren't you?

Vinegar?
In raspberry jam?

[gags]

EUSTACE: Will you
two quit jabberin'?

Now, get my stinkin'
dead brother Horst on the line.

SHIRLEY: The dead should not
be bothered for personal gain.

What? Oh, just do it.

[Courage barking]

EUSTACE:
Sit down, you stupid dog.

[Courage whines]

[ringing]

MAN:
Hello?

Isn't this
wonderful, Eustace?

Finally you can settle
your differences.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where's the key
to the box?

HORST: There is nothing in
the box for you, Eustace.

You would say
that, you cheap--

Bury the box, Eustace.

[grunts angrily]

[speaking gibberish]

Get away from me.
Oh!

Money, money!
Where's the key?

HORST: There's nothing
in there for you.

Give me the key.

Ok.

Ok?

Search the lining
of your hat.

So that's where it was.

You have been
warned, brother.

[laughing]

SHIRLEY: You should heed
your brother's word.

We don't need
you anymore, lady.

Take off!

You shall not
be warned...

Again.

No, no, no!

What's wrong
with you, dog?

Scat!

[crash]

Huh?

Hello?

Don't open the box.

You're not getting my money whoever
you are, so just shove off.

[babbling]

What do you think
of that, Courage?

[groans]

You're right.
Too much vinegar.

[Eustace laughing sinisterly]

Oh! This is not good.

[laughs] I knew it.
We're rich, we're rich!

Did you say
something, Eustace? Oh!

[Eustace screams]

Hey! What are you
doing in my box?

With my money?

[Eustace screams]

[screaming]

COURAGE:
Ok, you can have him.

[screaming]

Oh! Courage!

Help!

[screaming]

MURIEL:
Oh! Oh!

[screaming]

[screaming]

Ooph!

Rope, rope, rope,
rope. I need a rope.

Yes!

My clothesline.

Did you fold
the clothes?

Uh-huh.

Such a good dog.

[babbling]

The stupid one.

He opened the box, yes?

[Eustace, Muriel screaming]

You had to open
the box.

Mucho loco...

[mumbling in
foreign Spanish]

MURIEL:
Oh!

I knew there was
money in that box.

[yells]

EUSTACE:
Look at all this money.

Whoopee.

I'm rich.
I'm finally rich.

I'm rich, I'm rich!
[laughs]

Hey! Where am I
going to spend it?

Mmm...Mmm...

Eustace,
Aunt Gertrude was right.

This jam tastes heavenly.

EUSTACE: Can I buy
some from you?

You can have all you want
when you get out of there.

But first we have
to find that key.

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog!

Ha ha ha ha!