02x01 - The Magic Tree of Nowhere/Robot Randy

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dag Show.

Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.

[SHADOW GROWLS
THEN COURAGE SCREAMS]

Abandoned as a pup...

...he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...

...with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

[GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

[SCREAMING]

Stupid dag! You made me lack bad.

[EUSTACE YELLING
THEN COURAGE SCREAMING]

[TRUCK HORN HONKING]

Och! My package has arrived.

[GULPING]

Eustace, haw do you like
the new kitchen curtains?

Yeah, blah, blah, blah.

And they came with
a complimentary package of seeds.

What? Seeds?

Ain't nothing grown here in 50 years.

[MUTTERING HAPPILY]

What kind of dumb seeds are these, anyway?

These ain't growing seeds.

[GRUNTING]
Huh?

[GROANS]

[SNIFFING]

Hmm...

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Oh, my, Courage. Did you do this?

I've never grown anything. Nat even weeds.

But that stupid dag can grow trees.

[GROANS]

[WHISTLING]

MURIEL:
Ah! My pie!

Oh, Eustace, I wish I had a new oven.

[THUDDING OUTSIDE]

[BARKING]

Is that a new oven?

- Ga have a lack, Eustace.
- Why me?

MURIEL:
Bring it in. Bring it in.

[GRUMBLING]

[CRASHES]

[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

[CRASHES]

[GRUNTING]

Thank you, Courage, for the new oven
and that lovely tree.

[GROWLS]

[MAKING ENGINE NOISES]

Oh.

[GASPS]

[WHIMPERS]

[LARGE THUD NEARBY]

[MURIEL E COURAGE LAUGHING]

What fun, Courage.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Stop that racket. I'm taking my nap.

Oh, Courage, turn it off. Turn it off.

EUSTACE:
Stupid dag.

Eustace, where are you going?

I'm going to the picture show.

I'm not wanted around here, anyway.

I wish we could see a movie.

[PROJECTOR WHIRRING]

Oh!

[ENGINE STARTS]

Wham?

Oh, my. Isn't it grand to have a tree?

[GROWLS]

[GROWLS]

[SCREAMS]

Eustace!

[TIRES sou EAL]

Don't you harm this tree!

I'm taking it dawn, Muriel.
Get out of the way!

Where are your marbles?

We need this tree, Eustace.

It's providing for us.

But that's my job. Rotten tree.

[BOTH SNORING]

There'll be no more racking under this tree.

[GRUNTS]

I don't know what Muriel sees in you.

Ta me, you're just a stupid, rotten tree.

[LAUGHS]

And I wish she had a bigger head,
then she'd know better.

[COURAGE WHIMPERS]

[MURIEL GROANS]

Muriel, what'd you do to yourself?

Courage, could you get me some water, dear?

Haw about breakfast?

Na, thank you, Eustace.

I couldn't eat a bite.

I meant for me.

Uh-oh.

This is serious. I better call the doctor.

I'm getting hungry.

Ts k, ts k, ts k.

This is the worst case of bully-bully
I have ever seen.

- What?
- Na!

I'll do everything known to medical science.

[HAM M ER SQU EAKS]

Aha, nothing to worry about.

But there's nothing I can do.

[WAILING]

This is all your fault, dag.
You and that rotten tree.

New I gotta order take-cut for breakfast.

Stupid dag!

[YELLING]

[GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERS]

Help, help! Help!

Courage. Courage.

[SCREAMS]

Dc not be afraid.

- I have the cure you seek.
- Yeah!

It will take three days.

And in three days, I will be cut dawn.

Na!

Anything worth its value
is worth fighting far.

Huh?

[LAUGHING]

Chop, chop, chop.
Down you go.

Chop, chop, chop.

Na!

[GRINDING]

[LAUGHING]

Chap! Chap, chap, chap.

[EEL ROARS
THEN COURAGE SCREAMS]

[SINGING] Oh, Danny boy
The pipes, the pipes are calling

[YELLING]

Chop, chop, chop.

Chop, chop, chop.

Whoa!

[EUSTACE SCREAMING]

[ROARS]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

Chap! Chap, chap, chap!

Huh?

[SCREAMING]

BOTH [SINGING]:
If you will bend

And tell me that you love me

[ROARS]

[EUSTACE YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS THEN PHONE RINGS]

- Uh-huh?
DOCTOR: I have the cure.

I've discovered the remedy.

This will cure your broken leg.

[GROWLS]

What's it ta you
that cutting me dawn will bring?

Will it make you feel more important?

Well, uh, yes.

[SCREAMING]

[SNIFFING]

TREE:
Courage. Courage.

I have the remedy you seek.

Pick all the flowers from my branches...

...and mix with pure hornet's honey.

This is the cure.

[GASPS]

Yes!

[HORNETS BUZZING]

[COURAGE SCREAMING]

Mm, mm, mm.

Ah, that's much better.

Courage, would you like a cup of tea?

[HUMMING HAPPILY]

Yes!

[GROANS]

Muriel.

[GROANS]

Is the tree growing back yet?

ROBOT:
Okay, Mike, obliterate that mountain.

[ROBOTS CHEERING]

ROBOT:
Randy, you're next.

And try and destroy something this time.

[ROBOTS LAUGHING]

RANDY:
I don't want to destroy things.

[ROBOTS LAUGHING]

ROBOT:
Zoots!

Randy, you are a failure as a robot.

You don't know what I can do.

ROBOT:
Prove to us robots you're not a failure.

Ga and conquer another world.

And don't return until you do.

RANDY:
I'll show them.

[ROBOTS LAUGHING]

[HUMMING]

[PLAYING SITAR]

[TUNES SITAR]

[RESUMES PLAYING]

[MURMURING]

[GASPS]

Oh. "W"

[SCREAMS]

Eustace, I didn't know
we were expecting company.

Hey, who the heck do you think you are?

Get that tin off my property!

My name is Rabat Randy.

I am the greatest and mast powerful robot
in the universe.

That's it. I'm getting me mallet.

RANDY:
You dare challenge my power?

Bah.

[EUSTACE GRUNTING]

[COU RAG E PANTS]

[EUSTACE SCREAMING]

You stupid dag.

I'm gonna strangle you.

Get back to work.

He hit me. It's all his fault.

Get back to work.

Make me.

Cw!

[GRUNTING]

[EUSTACE CHUCKLING]

EUSTACE:
Stupid dag.

[EUSTACE LAUGHS]

[WHIMPERING]

Eustace, isn't life hard enough?

Nat for this dag.

[LAUGHING]

[EUSTACE LAUGHING]

I'm going to name you lvana.

That's a good reindeer name.

I wish I didn't have to conquer worlds
and destroy things.

I wish I could make reindeer all the time.

But robots don't make reindeer.

If anyone found out, they'd laugh at me.

They'd think I'm a failure.

A failure!

Huh?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[COURAGE STAMMERING]

Why, Courage, that's lovely.
Did you make it?

[RAN DY APPROACHING]

Courage, where did you get it?

RANDY:
Get back to work.

[GRUNTING]

Oh. "W"

[WHIMPERING]

[GRUNTING]

Get back to work!

Stupid dag! Why am I doing all the work?

You foals. Lack what you've dune.

You've made me a failure.

[COURAGE YELPS]

[EUSTACE E MURIEL SCREAM]

I'll crush you for this.

[WHIMPERING]

You dare challenge my greatness?

I accept your challenge.

If I lose, I will free you all.

But if you lose, you will perish.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Goad work, you stupid dag.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
ON BOOM BOX]

[RAN DY CRASH ES]

- Yes!
-I'm such a failure.

[EUSTACE E MURIEL SCREAMING]

[EUSTACE GRUNTING]

Aw, Courage, thank goodness.
You saved us.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Thank you, Mr. Rabat, for sparing our lives.

I'm just a failure.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Oh, you must be good at something.

Na, no, no.

Come on. Everyone is good at something.

Well, I can whittle a little.

My reindeer. Where did you find it?

Did you make that? It's lovely.

It's nothing.

It's just a wooden reindeer.

You're right. You are a failure.

What I can't understand...

...is why you need to build
all these silly monuments...

...and blow things up.

You're tan talented for that.

Dc you really think so?

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Oh, yes.

Your reindeer would make such lovely gifts.

Grand idea, Courage.

You're right.

I was so worried
what others would think of me...

...I stopped believing in myself.

I don't wanna destroy things.

I want to whittle reindeer.

What a waste of good wand.

You are slaves no more.

I cannot undo what has been dune.

But I can leave you
my entire reindeer collection.

COURAGE: Yeah!
- Oh, haw lovely.

Great. New we can rebuild the farmhouse
with these stupid reindeer.

[ROBOTS MURMURING]

ROBOT:
Well dune, Randy.

You have proved to us
you're not a failure after all.

[ROBOTS CHEERING]

Yeah. But can you make anything else?

[GROANS]

EUSTACE:
Stupid dag!