02x10 - Car, Broke, Phone Yes/Cowboy Courage

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.

[SHADOW GROWLS
THEN COURAGE SCREAMS]

Abandoned as a pup...

...he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...

...with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

[GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

[SCREAMING]

Stupid dog! You made me look bad.

[EUSTACE YELLING
THEN COURAGE SCREAMING]

Och.

Oh.

Och.

Oh.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[HUMMING]

Huh?

[SCREAMING]

[COURAGE YELPING]

Hey, stupid dog.

Haw stupid.

[MUTTERS]

[COURAGE CONTINUES YELPING]

Dank, dink, dank, dank, dank.

[GRUNTS]

Courage, I think a visit to a game arcade
would be wonderful.

[GROANS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- A visitor.
- Big deal.

Yes?

Oh.

Hello. Can I help you?

ALIEN:
Car brake. Phone... Yes?

We ain't gut a phone.

[PHONE RINGS THEN EUSTACE GRUNTS]

We ain't gut a phone.

[EUSTACE MUTTERS]

ALIEN:
Phone. Na. Yes?

Poor man.

Of course you can use the phone.

You must be chilly.

I'll get you a nice hat cup of tea.

Hmm.

[GROWLS]

ALIEN:
Tow truck. Came. Yes?

Can't get a quiet minute.

[COURAGE WHIMPERS]

MURIEL:
Here you go.

It's nice scathing chamomile tea.

Would you like some cake with that?

ALIEN:
Cake. Same. Yes?

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

[COURAGE GASPING]

[WHIMPERING]

ALIEN:
New to mission. Yes?

[CLEARS TH ROAT]

Hostility? Check.

Greed? Check.

Cynicism? Check.

Kindness? Nat check.

Staring rude. Yes?

[GAG s]

ALIEN:
You go. Yes?

[GRUNTS]

[SNORING]

[SLURPING]

ALIEN:
Na. Na kindness here.

Just angry.

MURIEL:
Ah. Here's a little something, dear.

ALIEN:
Cake. Yes?

I just baked it this morning.

[GASPS]

ALIEN:
Cake. Haw kind. Hmm. Kind.

[DRILL CLANKS]

[GASPS]

ALIEN: Look up. See. Yes?
- Yes.

[GASPS]

It is a lovely ceiling.

[SLURPING]

[GASPS]

ALIEN:
Kindness. Yes?

Kindness. Check, check, check.

[MURIEL GROANS]

We ain't gut no fond.

And don't let me catch you
around here again.

[GROANS]

COURAGE:
Muriel!

Muriel!

'Fay!

[COURAGE GROANING]

EUSTACE:
Huh?

What you looking at, Four-Eyes?

Oh.

[LAUGHS]

- I'm hungry.
EUSTACE: Me tan.

- Cook me dinner.
EUSTACE: Me too.

- Stupid dog.
- Me tan.

[LAUGHS]

[MOANS]

[GRUNTING]

[BOTH LAUGH]

[EUSTACE GROANS]

What did I do?

[BOTH LAUGH]

[YAWN s]

ALIEN:
Kindness. Yes?

[COU RAG E G ROWLS]

Yes!

[GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

MURIEL:
Stupid dog.

I'm hungry-

Me tan.

That's a salad fork, you stupid.

What are you trying ta--? Huh?

Stupid husband,
you let the stupid dog get away.

Blah, blah, blah.

[GROANS]

What did I do?

[PANTING]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

[COURAGE GROANS]

ALIEN:
Kindness. Na. Yes?

BRAIN:
Ah. Goad. Kindness.

With kindness,
I can new conquer the universe.

Because with kindness,
I can new know what not to be.

ALIEN:
Engine an. Ga. Yes?

BRAIN:
Start engine now.

We go. Yes?

Huh?

You didn't do your stupid tasks, stupid dog.

New you gut me all stupid out of breath.

[COURAGE SCREAMS]

[ENGINE STUTTERING]

ALIEN:
Engine an. Na.

- Unh.
- Stupid dog.

ALIEN:
Rude. Yes?

Unh. Muriel, I'll save you. Unh.

ALIEN:
You go. Yes?

[SCREAMS]

[COURAGE YELPING]

[BOTH YELPING]

[BRAIN MOANS]

BRAIN:
Stupid planet.

Stupid brain.

BRAIN:
Stupid arms and legs.

Stupid tentacles.

ALIEN:
Ow!

ALIEN:
New you'll became nothing. Yes?

[WHIMPERS]

[ALIEN GRUNTS]

[ALIEN MOANING]

ALIEN:
Oh, haw rude of me.

Would you like to leave?

I'm sorry to hold you up. Yes?

BRAIN:
Ugh. Stupid digestive system.

MURIEL:
Stupid gray matter.

ALIEN:
Allow me.

Such a nice little doggy. Yes?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

ALIEN:
Why, thank you. Yes?

MURIEL:
Stupid running. Stupid turning. Stupid...

[GRUNTS]

Stupid falling. Stupid aching elbow.
Stupid electoral college.

[COURAGE GRUNTS]

Ooh!

[GROANING]

Courage, what's happened?

- Where are we?
- Yes!

Don't you wanna yell at him?

Of course not.

Hit him with a rolling pin?

Na.

Use him for a dust rag?

Certainly not.

Just when things was getting good.

[EUSTACE GRUNTS]

Calm yourself, Eustace.

Everything's back to normal.

Thanks to Courage,
we won't have to worry about any more aliens.

ALIENS [IN UNISON]:
Car brake. Phone. Yes?

[SCREAMING]

[SMACK THEN ALIEN GROANS]

"The fate of Dusty Little Town rested
an the shoulders of its new sheriff."

Twelve bucks for electric? Robbery.

"The new lawman had no idea...

...haw much trouble came
with his shiny new badge.

Far an ill wind was blowing in
from the west that day."

EUSTACE: They ain't getting my money.
- Huh?

Robbery, that's what this is.

[EUSTACE GRUNTS]

I'm taking my money to my grave.

I ain't getting swindled.

Eh.

[SNICKERS]

"And the Dusty Little Town
was about ta learn all about fear...

...and courage."

[YAWN s]

[NEIGHS]

[WHINES]

MAN:
Welcome, stranger.

Seeing as you're the newest citizen
of this here city...

...and you've shown great bravery by, uh...
By, uh...

What'd he do, Floyd?

- Showed u p.
-Oh, yeah.

Seeing as haw you've shown great bravery
by showing up...

...I hereby name you sheriff
of Dusty Little Town.

Mm-hm.

I know, this is kind of sudden...

...but I can tell
you're prime sheriffing material.

- Huh?
- Yup.

- Wouldn't you say so, Swiney'?
-Yep.

See? Grade-A lawman.

That's you.
Loved by the grateful people of your town.

And feared by your enemies.

[WHIMPERS]

Nat that you have any enemies.

He don't have no enemies.

Don't he, Floyd?

Nope.

Well, good luck.

I mean, good to have you.

[ALL SNICKERING]

[WHIMPERS]

[PATRONS CHATTERING]

[HORSE NEIGHS THEN SNORTS]

[HORSE KICKS COURAGE]

[COURAGE YELLS]

[MOOS]

COWBOY 1:
Uh-ah. It's the new sheriff.

COWBOY 2:
He's a goner.

COWBOY 3:
He sure is.

COWBOY 4:
Trouble's coming, cowboy.

COWBOY 5:
Better call the undertaker.

COWBOY 5:
Another sheriff bites the dust.

Let me have a rant beer
for my new friend here.

He'll be a-needing it.

MINNIE:
Rant beer coming up.

You're the 22nd sheriff here
in Dusty Little Town.

[RAT BURPS]

- This year.
- Hmm?

They've all, well, disappeared.

Hmm.

Because of the rumors.

Och.

The rumors that The Whip is coming back.

But you don't believe rumors, do you?

Well, see you.

MINNIE:
One rant beer.

Ah.

[BURPS]

[ensues]

Hi, cowboy.

- My name's Minnie.
- Huh?

Ah, you're a brave one, you are.

Coming in to town like this,
ready to serve and protect.

You really have nothing to worry about.

The Whip is gone to the big roundup
in the sky.

Buried up an Boat Hill.

His partners and him,
they pulled a bank jab.

But the partners double-crossed him.

Set him up.

Whip's been gone a year now.

- A year today.
- Whew.

This is him.

And his last wards were:

I'll be back in a year at sundown
to get my loot from those what swindled me...

...and ain't no lawman gonna stop me.

[SCREAMING]

What's the matter?
You look like you seen a ghost.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[CACKLES]

[LIVELY SALOON MUSIC PLAYING]

[MINNIE GIGGLES]

[WHIP CRACKING IN DISTANCE]

[THE WHIP CACKLING IN DISTANCE]

[GRUNTING]

Get out of town while you still can.

Get out now. New. Now!

Get out of town while you still can.

New. Now!

[COURAGE GULPS]

[WHIP CRACKING IN DISTANCE]

[THE WHIP CACKLING IN DISTANCE]

Oh. "W"

[GROANING]

Who did this to you?

[GROANS]

The Wh--

The Whi--

The Wh--

The walrus?

The Wh--

The whale?

The Wh--

The Wintergreen mint.

The Whi--

The Whip!

The Whip! Run for your lives!

[WHIP CRACKING]

Sounds like it's coming
from the mayor's office.

Surely you're not leaving me here alone.

[WHIMPERING]

I mean, you ain't scared.

[WHIMPERING]

MAYOR:
I swear it wasn't me.

It was the barber and the butcher.
It was their idea.

It's him. It's The Whip. He's came back.

Oh, no.

[COURAGE YELPS E HORSE NEIGHS]

We've gotta help that man.

I know I'm not gonna like this.

[THE WHIP GRUNTS]

You're a low-down, double-stealing,
no-good crook of a crook.

You set me up. Admit it.

Okay, okay, I admit it.

[COURAGE GRUNTING]

But you can't run away.

You're the brave sheriff.

[COURAGE WHINES]

[GRUNTS]

I don't know where the loot is.

I don't know.

[CACKLES]

[WHIP CRACKS]

Okay, okay.
It's in the safe, behind the picture.

- The picture of--
-Why, that's Minnie.

Minnie's my girl.

[GRUNTS]

You wink at a guy,
and right away he thinks you belong to him.

Mm-hm.

[YELLS]

What are you doing with a picture of my Minnie
on your wall?

Oh, that's who that is.

Picture just came with a wallet I bought.

No-good, girl-stealing double-crosser. Unh!

[CACKLES]

[GRUNTING]

[CACKLES]

What-f? Huh?

[COURAGE WHIMPERS
E MINNIE SCREAMS]

New you're stealing my girl, lawman? Argh!

Stupid lawman.

[GRUNTING]

[ensues]

You're my girl, and you're coming with me.

I don't think so.

Okay, I'm coming with you. Och!

Help! Sheriff!

[WHISTLES]

[HORSE NEIGHS]

[THE WHIP GRUNTS]

[GRUMBLES]

[GRUNTS]

What kind of cheap horses
are they making nowadays?

[GRUMBLES]

Huh?

[THE WHIP READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

Or else what?

It's not my birthday.

What?

[GRUMBLING]

[CONTINUES GRUMBLING]

Uh-oh.

[COURAGE GIGGLES]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Oh, sheriff, I knew you couldn't let me dawn.

You've taught me the meaning
of the ward "courage."

[ECHOING]
Courage. Courage. Courage.

MURIEL:
Courage. Courage.

Courage.

I think you nodded off
before I read you the ending.

"And the sheriff and Minnie rude off
into the sunset...

...happily ever after."

And that's the end of the story.

Nat yet. The story's just starting.

[WHISTLES]

[CACKLES]

[SCREAMING]

Well, here we go again, partner.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

[THE WHIP GRUNTS THEN WHIP CRACKS]

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog!