02x12 - The House of Discontent/The Sand Whale Strikes

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Courage the Cowardly Dog". Aired: November 12, 1999 – November 22, 2002.*
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Courage is a timid pink dog who must overcome his fear and help save his owners, Eustace and Muriel, from ghosts and paranormal spirits living on the farm.
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02x12 - The House of Discontent/The Sand Whale Strikes

Post by bunniefuu »

We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.

[SHADOW GROWLS
THEN COURAGE SCREAMS]

Abandoned as a pup...

...he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...

...with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

[GRUNTS]

ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

[SCREAMING]

Stupid dog! You made me look bad.

[EUSTACE YELLING
THEN COURAGE SCREAMING]

[WOLF HOWLING]

"And as we honor the land...

...may the blessing of the harvest moan
fill this lovely plant with life and beauty."

If possible.

[BELL RINGING]

Don't waste your breath, Muriel.

Nothing ever grows here. Nothing ever will.

I'm done trying.

'Agh!
'Ooh!

Rotten sail.

Let's eat.

Oh. "W"

[HUMMING]

GHOSTLY VOICE:
Get out.

I must be hearing things.

GHOSTLY VOICE:
Get out.

I am hearing things.

And I'm hearing a voice saying--

GHOSTLY VOICE:
Get out.

Yes, that's right.

[RATTLING]

[SCREAMING]

Na! Oh!

MAN 1 [ON RADIO]: And now by special
request, "Happy Birthday" by J.P.

Hit it. One, two, three, four.

- Happy birthday!
MA" 21 Happy birthday!

- Darn commercials.
MAN 1: Happy, happy, happy birthday!

[STATIC CRACKLING]

[GROWLING]

MURIEL:
Help! Help!

[SCREAMING]

MAN: Right here in beautiful New York City...
GHOSTLY VOICE: Get...

MAN: ?Jive from J.P. Dilworth.
GHOSTLY VOICE: ...out.

- Darn talk radio. Blah, blah, blah!
MAN: That's D-I-L-W-O-R-T-H.

GHOSTLY VOICE:
Get out.

What? Who said that? Agh.

Muriel. Muriel.

[CRYING]

[YELLING]

[WHIMPERS]

[LAUGHING]

MURIEL:
Help!

[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

[GROANING E STOMACH RUMBLING]

[BELCHES]

[EUSTACE SCREAMING]

[EUSTACE GROANING]

Oh. "W"

[GROANING]

[WIND WHISTLING]

[SCREAMS]

Would you look at that?

It's a floating head.

I was talking about that leaky pipe.

Waste of money.

Gut ta fix that leaky pipe.

GHOSTLY VOICE:
Get out.

That's not very polite.

You didn't let me finish.

I'm sorry.

It's time to hit the road.

Well, that's not much better.

Just who do you think you are, Head?

I'm the Spirit of the Harvest Mann.

And I'm a bucket of sardines.

On this night of the harvest moan...

...when all that grows from the sail
is celebrated...

...and offerings are made, you have nothing.

Lousy sail.

It's not the sail.

Because you don't respect your land...

...you must leave it.

I ain't leaving nothing.

We've been here almost all our lives,
Mr. Ghost" Spirit-- Head.

We can't just leave.

I ain't going nowhere.

Then you will suffer the consequences.

You gut big ears, but you ain't hearing me.

I ain't going nowhere.

Please have mercy an us.

We're a pour farm family.

We'll try harder. We will.

All right.

You have until midnight to grow something.

And if you can't, well, you were warned.

[TICKING]

[GASPS]

But that only gives us 10 minutes.

By midnight, you either grow or go.

Awn, blah, blah!
I ain't growing and I ain't going.

I don't believe you, man.

What a stubborn old goat you are.

EUSTACE:
awn, blah, blah!

MURIEL: You can't grow a thing
and you won't admit it.

EUSTACE:
You don't know nothing about farming.

I'm a farmer.

I gut a green thumb.

You're no farmer.

- Am tan.
- Are not.

Stubborn is what you are.

- Am not.
GHOSTLY VOICE: Are tan.

[GRUMBLING]

I'm a farmer. Farmer, farmer, farmer.
Ain't stubborn. Ain't, ain't, ain't.

[PLAYING MELLOW TUNE]

- Ooh.
-At least I got arms and legs.

You don't even gut a neck. Ha-ha-ha.

Get out of my face.

Make me.

Wait until midnight comes around.

Ooh!

- Stubborn.
-Not a farmer.

[HOWLING]

[GASPS]

MURIEL: Stubborn.
GHOSTLY VOICE: Nat a farmer.

Your time is up, non-farmer.

New you've gone and done it.

It's midnight and we haven't grown a thing.

Get out new or face the consequences.

Na such thing as consequences
and I ain't going.

Eustace, it's getting awfully warm in here.

And I suppose that's my fault tan.

This is no time to argue.

But, yes.

[GROANING]

Eustace, I'm feeling faint.

Faint, nothing.

I'm melting.

[COURAGE GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

Agh.

[YELLING]

[BABBLING]

- Huh? What's that?
-It's your plant, Eustace.

It's alive.

- Did I do that?
- Mm-hm!

I didn't know I could grow something.

That's pretty.

I did that?

You did say you have a green thumb.

Uh, yeah. Well, Ida.

I'm a farmer, you know.

Far the first time, you are.

You have grown more than a plant.

Happy planting.

What did he mean by that?

I think he meant you grew something inside.

Yeah, a great big hungry hale
in me stomach.

Well, I guess Eustace really did learn
something under the harvest moan...

...in his awn way.

And then I'll grow hundreds of plants,
thousands of plants, and I'll be rich, rich, rich.

I gut me a green thumb, Muriel.

Ha-ha-ha.
Green like money.

[LAUGHING]

MAN [ON RADIO]:
Hit it. One, two, three, four. Happy birthday!

[ALL SNORING]

[TRUMPETS]

[ALL GROANING]

Is it time to get up already?

Eustace, there was an earthquake,
or an expl*si*n, or worse.

Must have been
those darn neighborhood kids again.

There's no kids that can do that.

[RUMBLING]

- Oh, my.
- What's--?

[SCREAMING]

Better call the exterminator.

Ickett.

Ickett Bagge.

Ickett Bagge?

That's me father's name.

I'm sorry, Mr. Whale,
but lckett Bagge is no longer with us.

He's standing right there.

Don't try to foal me.

Eustace, that sand whale
thinks you're your awn father.

EUSTACE:
I don't see any resemblance.

Ickett, I've came for my accordion.

What? Accordion? I don't know what--

Hey, me father had an accordion.

Maybe you should give it to Mr. Whale here.

Me ma has it.

You're trying to cheat me
like you cheated me before, lckett Bagge.

You won that accordion off me
in a crooked card game a long time ago...

...and I want it back.

N aw.

I ain't lckett, I ain't got no accordion,
and I don't wanna be talking to no whale.

It's taken me all this time to find you
and I won't be cheated again.

Blah, blah, blah.

[GROWLING]

[YELLING]

Ickett.

Ickett Bagge.

Ickett Bagge.

[SMASHING]

Ow! I'm telling you,
I don't have the accordion.

Me ma has it.

Okay, lckett,
if you don't give me my accordion...

...I'm gonna have to shake you up
until you do.

[ELECTRIC DEVICE BUZZING]

[BUZZING STOPS]

Courage.

Goad to see you. Unh.

Where's my stupid sun?

[WHIMPERING]

That sand whale
was me husband's mortal enemy.

Ickett spent his life hunting that darn whale.

And this was lckett's fine vessel.

- Came an, dog.
- Ow!

We're going after whale.

[COURAGE GROANING]

The things I do for lave.

[YELLING]

[CRASHING]

[GROANING]

Stupid dog.

New, raw.

[CRASHING]

[BOTH YELLING]

Fallow that whale.

[PLAYING JAUNTY TUNE]

Put that dawn.
I ain't giving that ta no stupid sand whale.

Stupid dog.

You know haw much
a sand whale is worth?

I'm bagging him and taking him
all the way to the whale bank.

He can keep me stupid sun
and his stupid wife.

New, raw.

Look, Muriel, l found me chair.

I'm glad you're comfortable.

This will attract him.

Then I'll net him.

Hey, that's my accordion.

We gut him now.

Raw faster.

- Oaf!
- He ain't getting no accordion.

I'm getting him is all that's happening.

Oh. my. on!

Don't try to foal me.

Agh! Raw, you stupid dog.

Fallow that whale.

Hey, I found our refrigerator.

[GRUMBLES]

[LAUGHING]

- Oaf!
- Stupid accordion-giving dog. Keep rowing.

Eustace, I think I'm getting digested.

[GRUMBLING]

Aah! Unh!

Help. Help!

I'm drowning! I'm drawn--

Oh. Oh, fudge.

My accordion.

Give me back my accordion!

Oh, no. Unh!

[YELLING]

[BOTH YELLING]

Ow! Stupid dog.

- Stupid dog.
COURAGE: Ha-ha-ha.

Uh-oh.

Well, I'm glad that all worked out.

But the whale gut me ma.

I'm glad that all worked out.

I just wander one thing.

What does a whale want
with an accordion anyway?

[ALL PLAYING JAUNTY TUNE]

[APPLAUSE]

Haw did I get the cheap seats?

Uh-oh.

EUSTACE:
Stupid dog.
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