02x12 - The Lion and the Unicorn

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Batman: The Animated Series". Aired: September 5, 1992 – September 15, 1995.*
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Based on the DC comics, The Dark Knight battles crime in Gotham City with occasional help from Robin and Batgirl.
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02x12 - The Lion and the Unicorn

Post by bunniefuu »

That's good enough, Alfred.

The people I deal with out there
won't mind a little lint.

Ajob worth doing and all that rot,
Master Bruce.

I do wish you would put on a shirt.

You're apt to catch cold
in this dank cave.

Yes, folks, a perfect 10
for d*ck Grayson to take the gold.

And the crowd goes wild.

Yeah!

- Did you hear me, Master d*ck?
- Yeah, all right!

Yes, Alfred. Right away, Alfred.

I've fixed your supper.
It's upstairs, in the oven.

- What would we do without you, Alfred?
- I shudder to think.

- Good evening. Wayne Manor.
- Alfie?

- It's your cousin Freddie.
- Frederick?

I say, old thing, could you
meet me at the usual place?

It's rather urgent.

Yes, of course. I'll leave immediately.

Now what?

Hey, was a butlers' strike called?

I came down for breakfast,
and all I found was this.

Where's Alfred?

"Dear Master Bruce, my apologies for
leaving so abruptly.

"I've just learned of a personal matter
involving a cousin of mine

"that must be resolved immediately.

"I shall endeavor to return
in a few days.

"Your obedient servant, Alfred."

Must be pretty important.

Alfred wouldn't leave
a dirty dish unwashed

if England were sinking into the sea.

I know.

- Frederick?
- Hello. Is that Alfie?

- Mr. Pennyworth will do.
- Right then.

It's Freddie sent us.
Wants you to come with us.

- Frederick sent you?
- That's right, old love. Come along now.

- We'II pop around and see him.
- I think not.

Frederick knows I hate being called
Alfie as much as he hates Freddie.

- What have you done with him?
- Grab him, Bert.

Hello?

Good evening, Master Bruce. I'm so sorry
to have disturbed your rest.

Alfred. Are you all right?
Where are you?

I'm at the Yorkshire Arms
just at the moment. In London.

- London, England?
- There's only one, Master Bruce.

I seem to be
in a bit of a sticky situation,

and I was wondering if you-

Come along easy, gramps.
We don't want to hurt you.

I'm afraid I'll have
to ring off now, sir.

It seems I have unexpected guests.

Alfred, are you there?

- Alfred? Alfred!

Before he came to the States,
Alfred did some work as an attache'

in the British Security Services.

More desk jobs than fieldwork,
but he acquired quite a reputation

for defusing diplomatically dangerous
situations in high-security areas.

And I thought he was just a nice old guy

who polished the silver
and fixed me sandwiches.

He's fixed more than that in his time.

Underneath Alfred's very proper exterior

is a highly resourceful
government agent.

He mentioned his cousin.

As far as I know,
he has no living relatives.

And cousin can sometimes mean a fellow
member of an intelligence organization.

Well, I hear England's nice
this time of year.

End of the line, mate.

It's good to see you again, old man.

I'm sorry it has to be under
such circumstances.

Exactly what circumstances
are we talking about?

My heavens! Red Claw.

So pleased to make your acquaintance,
Mr. Pennyworth.

If you do exactly as I say,
you might live to see tomorrow.

Bruce, over here.
Looks like he put up a struggle.

Poor Alfred.
He must have been petrified.

I doubt it.

He was pretty formidable in his day.

Come on.

Two blokes just came out
of Pennyworth's room.

Right.

Where they off to, then?

I don't know about this, Ernie.

- Where'd they go?
- We're chasing a pair of poxy ghosts.

Stone the crows!

Gotcha.

May I see your license?

When they wake up,
they'll tell us who they're working for.

I don't think
we'll have to wait that long.

Red Claw.

I've wasted enough courtesy
on you two.

Courtesy? None that I've seen.

I want this m*ssile silo operational.

I intend for the British government
to give me £5 billion

to keep me from wiping London
off the map.

You understand, old man,
I had no choice in the matter.

But of course, dear boy.

Each of you holds half the f*ring code
for this m*ssile.

I want that code. Or else.

Madam, impossible.

We are both signatories
to the Official Secrets Act.

I've already thought of that.

Still no word from Castle Blairquhan.

Our post there has never missed
a check-in.

Here's more bad news.
Agent Frederick has been listed missing.

I don't like this.

Frederick was part of the original
security team at Blairquhan.

- Him and that fellow from Clerical.
- Pennyworth, Alfred Pennyworth.

Our apologies for intruding.

You were saying something
about a castle?

How did you get in here?

We don't have time for protocol.
Pennyworth is also missing.

We have reason to think he and Frederick
might be in considerable danger.

What was the name of that castle?

And why should we give you
that information?

Because I can give you Red Claw.

Blairquhan. Castle Blairquhan
on the west Scottish coast.

It was the base for Project Excalibur.

Blairquhan is the last
of our land-based m*ssile silos.

Do you think that's what
Red Claw is after?

Apparently so.

Truth serum?

Of course. The old methods
are still often the best.

Fight it if you like.

You won't hold out for long.

But it might be amusing.

Well, anything to amuse a lady.

If lady is the word I want,
which I doubt.

Aw, sticks and stones.

Won't... I... I won't.

Give me your access code
for the m*ssile activator.

Never.

You'll get nothing but gibberish
out of me, madam.

I come from haunts of coat and fern.
I make a sudden sally.

And bicker down the valley.

And people wonder why no one takes
Britain seriously anymore.

The code, old man. Now.

Fourteen...

14 Gurrier's Crescent, Blairquhan Upper.

Absurdly simple like most passwords.
Now, as for you.

"Half a league, half a league,
half a league onward..."

Desperate valor to the last.
Not that it will help you.

Sooner or later, the serum always wins.

Looks clear.

Impossible! How could he
have learned about this?

- That's one less thing to worry about.
- Two less things.

- Dennis, you're always the humorist.
- Did you hear that?

Londoners. Your ancient city may pride
itself on having survived

plagues, fires, even the Blitz.

But unless £5 billion are delivered
to me by midnight tonight,

there will be nothing left to survive.

We have Blairquhan Castle
and its m*ssile installation

and the codes to operate the m*ssile.

You have one hour.

Otherwise, I'll be forced
to plant this warhead

in the middle of Trafalgar Square.

And if! do that, well...

God save the queen.

Is it smart to make demands before
we get the other half of the go code?

I will have the code
in a matter of minutes.

Give me the code, or I'll-

The lion and the unicorn
fighting for the crown.

He can't be resisting the drug
this long. It's impossible.

- The lion and the unicorn fighting...
- Wait. He's not resisting.

This doggerel is the code.

"The lion and the unicorn".

At last!

You three, come with me.

Watch them.

Fan out. This is the only access
to the control room.

They'll have to come through here.

Take them.

And here I thought all you dusted
was furniture.

A Louis Quinze. What a pity.

Goodness me.

- Dear Lord!
- Do you two have the destruct code?

I don't suppose you'd consider
coming out of retirement?

And taking up civil service
pay grades again?

Hardly, old man. I've become accustomed
to my style of living.

It's a great pity.
It was just like old times.

Give my best to Whitehall.
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