02x01 - Splicers

[bunniefuu]

Boy: Well, what's she up to this time? I don't know.

You can never tell with her.

She's a wacky girl, you know that? She's gonna tell us something.

Check it out.

Students: Wow, man, cool! I don't believe it, Chelsea You got spliced! Crazy, girl.

Your dad must have had a spizz fit.

I don't know, chels.

Isn't messing with your DNA a bit drastic? Even for you? Please.

Well, then why is the city trying to shut it down? Lighten up, Terry.

The law's against practically everything we're into.

You gotta keep an open mind.

Here's all the info.

Personally, I'd jump on it, if I were you guys, 'cause if you're not the first, then you're the worst.

Newscaster: They call it splicing, the new high-tech teen rage that has taken Gotham's youth by storm.

But outraged parents and lawmakers call the use of genetic animal augmentation a crime against nature.

Some say it's a matter of choice.

Splicing is like establishing myself as an individual, you know? Just like all my friends.

Yeah, that's right.

You tell him, man.

Newscaster: At the center of the controversy is the director of the chimera institute, Dr.

Abel cuvier.

I want to assure everyone that splicing is safe, reversible, and, more importantly, utterly beautiful.

I was the first test subject, and as you can see, I'm perfectly fine.

Perfectly creepy is more like it.

Him and that whole splicing fad.

This is no simple fad.

Something bad will come of this splicing.

Something we'll most likely have to clean up.

[Clock chimes]

Raah! Huh! Mmph.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Gotcha! Gotcha good! Ha ha ha ha! You are so dead, Matt.

Raah mom, can I get spliced? I want to be a real wolfman for Halloween.

Raah! Sorry, Matthew.

No son of mine's going in for some freaky body treatment.

Aw, come on, mom.

What about that little relic from your wild teen years? Oh, ter, please.

That's different.

A harmless little tattoo's hardly comparable to having antlers stuck on your head.

Terry doesn't need splicing, mom, 'cause he's already a donkey! Hee-haw! [Laughs]

Huh! You're lucky I'm late for school, twit.

Mom, can I get a wolfman tattoo? As your district attorney, I'm making it my top priority to outlaw splicing completely.

Impartial tests clearly show a rise in aggressive behavior.

[Roar]

How's that for breaking news? [Hiss]

[Roar]

Ha! Nobody can stop splicing.

It's the future, whether you stinking, scared norms like it or not.

How about not, snake-boy? Listen, norm.

Don't even think about dissing us.

Go chew a can.

Huh? Grrrrrr! [Applause]

So will you petting zoo rejects be needing a doctor Or a vet? [Both groan]

Your time will come, norm.

You'll see.

You'll all see.

[Hiss]

Ha ha ha! I don't know about this, Terry.

Come on, Dana.

You're the one who told me to keep an open mind to new things.

Personally, I think the young lady would look stunning in spots.

You're smart to come in now.

If my critics have their way, splicing might go the way of the dinosaurs.

Not that I don't plan to fight them tooth and nail.

Yo! We need to see the doctor.

Right now! Please excuse me.

You know, ter, as cool as this is, I just don't know if it's for me.

Ter? Terry? Gee, thanks for the swell afternoon, ter.

I really enjoyed myself.

It's all over the news.

Those scared-o stiffs are gonna shut us down.

Then we must strike tonight.

The splicers' revolution cannot be stopped.

[Whoosh]

[Groan]

If the norms are determined to drive us underground, so be it.

But we'll take first blood from the throat of d.

A.

Young.

[Hiss]

Yeah! [Roar]

[Sniffs]

Wait.

I'm in the chimera institute.

Wait! Unh! Mcginnis! Unh! Ohh.

[Hiss]

[Roar]

[Whoosh]

Uhhh [Pfft]

What did you just do to me, cuvier? Why, you've been spliced, of course.

With a little something I prepared just in case Gotham's self-appointed defender ever fluttered into my business.

You see, splicing isn't just style, Batman.

It's lifestyle, something that will literally change the world.

Have you considered checking into arkham for a little r&r, doc? Because, quite frankly, you're nuts.

You're welcome to your opinions for the short time you'll be human enough to have them.

Unh! Unh! Unh! All right, cuvier.

Call your freaks off d.

A.

Young, or so help me I'll--I'll Ohhhh! Tch, tch, tch.

What's the matter, Batman? Not feeling quite yourself? [Groans]

Don't worry about the d.

A.

He's dead meat.

And so are you.

Ha ha ha! It won't matter.

It's too late for you to save young or yourself! Ah, thanks, hon.

Sam, honey, maybe you should take a break.

You've been at it since 5:00 this morning.

[Yawns]

Can't be helped.

Putting cuvier out of business is going to mean a lot of long nights.

[Growling]

Right now I just can't relax knowing that cuvier and his Guinea pigs are out there, doing God knows what.

I bet I could relax you.

[Crash]

[Rowr]

Evening, counselor.

Hey, commish.

Looking good.

But not for long.

[Rowr]

Whoa, Sammy.

Your honey's got some hectic moves.

Oh.

Too bad she can't stop us.

Any more than you can stop Dr.

cuvier's dream.

Break him in half.

[Whoosh]

Sam! Get him! [Roar]

Whoa.

What's up with him? Batman, stop! You're k*lling him! [Groaning]

Come on.

That psycho bat'll finish the job for us.

[Groaning]

Batman.

Terry? What's gotten into you? Ohhhh! Wayne.

Bruce.

It's Barbara.

Is Terry there? No, I've been trying to raise him all night, but-- Bruce, listen to me.

There's something wrong with him.

Something terribly wrong.

[Woof woof woof]

Bruce? Bruce, are you there? [Grrr]

Terry? [Bats screeching]

Bruce! HelpMe.

[Roar]

[Woof woof woof]

Aaaah! Ohhh.

Ah.

[Grrr]

Nice to see you, too.

Can't say I blame him.

You roughed us up before I could cure you.

Cure me? Cuvier! He spliced me in his lab.

With a massive overdose of vampire bat serum.

I figured we'd be needing a new supply of the mutagen antidote, although it was sooner than I had expected.

Thanks.

Barbara told me about the att*ck.

After Batman foiled the assassination attempt on d.

A.

Young, police raided the chimera institute, but Dr.

cuvier and his followers had already gone into hiding.

I can assure you cuvier will be found and prosecuted for this att*ck.

Cuvier will be deadlier than ever now that's he's being hunted.

What's this? Hmmm.

One of cuvier's claws.

Too bad we can't use it to find him.

We can't.

[Whimpers]

Look, wonderdog.

I don't like you, and you don't like me.

But how about cutting me a break this one time? Bad guy.

You find.

Me stop.

Got it? [Sniffing]

[Woof]

Wh-wh-wh-whoa! Wait up! [Woof]

[Woof]

[Grrr]

Please, doctor.

Uhhh.

We tried to k*ll him, but Batman was-- forget Batman.

It was your witness that ruined my plans.

[Roar]

All right.

You've gotten us this far.

I'll take it from here.

[Growls]

Whoa, whoa.

Stay! Stay! [Whimpers]

Good bat-dog.

Now don't move until I get back.

[Sniffs]

What is it? Prey.

[Click]

[Hiss]

[Rowr]

Ohhh! [Roar]

We could smell your human stink a mile away.

[Hiss]

Aaah! [Rowr]

[Roar]

[Whoosh]

Raah! Ohhh [Rowr]

Uhhh Ohhh What did you do to her? Let's just say I put the cat out.

No.

I'll never go back to being a nobody.

You hear me? [Clicks]

[Roar]

Have a dose of reality, pal.

You need it.

Uhhh, ahhh I fixed your pets, doc.

Now it's just you and me.

So why not come out and fight me, man-to-freakshow? [Cuvier laughs]

[Roar]

UnhOoh! Ooh.

Cuvier? No longer, Batman.

Now you face a true chimera.

Mmph.

You bring out the beast in me.

Look at me! The abilities of the entire animal kingdom are at my command! What can one blind little bat do against that? The best I can! The hunt ends, Batman.

Now you die.

Ohh! Ahhh! Can't control the changing! What have you done to me? [Woof woof woof]

[Woof woof woof]

[Whines]

Don't touch my dog.

[Roar]

Aaah! Terry? I'm ok now.

Listen to experience, kid.

I appreciate what you've done tonight, but ditch the costume.

You can't live a life of narrow escapes forever.

It's a thankless existence, and the rewards are small, if any.

Well, sometimes the small rewards are the best ones.