01x06 - Dee Dee's Room/Dial M for Monkey: Huntor

[bunniefuu]

Dexter:
The horror...

Of the landmarks in the home
of my parents.

My memory will forever rest

in the room that belongs
to my sister Dee Dee.

I looked with large eyes
to my future.

My invention was no longer
a lazy bird with folded wings.

Sliced bread was possible.

I baked the bread...

[Ding]

And now the moment of truth
is here.

My bread slicer!

But wait, wait!

It was just here!

How could it be?

I just had it.

I could hardly perceive
its capture.

Thoughts of sandwich meat
flitted by me.

No, no! Don't!
Come back!

Toast ran free.

No! Please!
Don't be like this!

Its whereabouts
was a mystery.

I was haunted
by hours of suspense,

only to realize the obvious--

Dee Dee.

Instead of proceeding at once
to her room,

I made an excursion
back to the lab.

Recalling my slicer
from her chambers

would be no simple task,

for her room to me
was more frightening

than the deepest bush
of Africa.

You see, for years
I have had immense fear

of the female germ...

The cootie.

I knew it would be flogging
the current of sweetness,

so I took precautions.

It was a benevolent society

with no structure
or foundation.

I did not share
their flattering humor.

I thought
they might be daughters

of generations
of Molly mobby dolls,

and by their movements,

I saw they were preparing
to strike a blow.

One of the creatures
began to approach me.

Its fierce muscular structure
reminded me

of the anatomy charts I drew up
with Dr. Gray.

Though I did not know what crime
I had committed,

I knew it wanted to b*at me.

For days, I took cover under
a wicker wastebasket.

It was quiet.

I listened to the wind outside.

Strangely, I felt proud
of the marks

I had left in the shag rug.

I believed they were the first
footprints made by a boy

in Dee Dee's room.

The hope chest!

It most certainly contained
my treasured slicer.

If I could breeze through
the narrows without mishap,

I might be able to get closer
to the hope chest.

I flew fast

but only to be reminded of that
which I feared from the start--

the cooties.

I took much satisfaction
in sh**ting them

as I would a tiger.

After all,
the cooties are the tigers

of a little girl's room.

Aah!

Escape was impossible.

They drew upon me
in a semicircle

but kept outside
of an -foot radius,

which in self-defense would have
been the death lock.

By great good fortune,
however,

a band of bubble gum tape
was at my feet,

and by the merest accident--
a flaw in the wind to favor me--

the trap, to stick these
little buggers together...

Worked.

On approaching the hope chest,

my mouth became dry.

[Click]

I opened the lock.

My muscles tightened.

My recovery was realized.

I need no longer endure
the many tortures of this room.

Why am I breathing so hard?

I knew the sound at once.

I ran for hundreds of miles
to get back to the door.

Salvation!

Whew!

My suffering
has come to an end.

Hi, Dexter!

The horror...

The horror...

The horror...

Dexter:
After countless
experiments,

all testing proves negative.

No enhanced abilities,
no physical mutations,

no nothing!

It seems you shall never
become

anything more than a mere
monkey.

Monkey, this is
agent honey q.

Help us.

Reading shows primate
meters dead ahead.

Break!

Hi!

Hi. We're looking
for a monkey.

I'm a monkey.

[Imitating monkey]

Ok. Uh, we're looking
for a little girl.

Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep!

That's him.
Get him!

Ok. Beam him up.

Ahh.
My quarry has arrived.

[Eek]

No fear, monkey.

I, huntor, the greatest hunter
in the universe,

am still very much alive.

Your reputation precedes you,
monkey,

as one of this world's
mightiest heroes.

And as for me,

well, look around you.

I surround myself
with the spoils of the hunt.

I've triumphed over the most
fearsome creatures

spawned across the universe.

Though my favorite prey has
always been the mighty hero.

Ha ha ha!

What do you say, monkey?

Shall we cut to the chase?

[Eek eek]

You refuse to be hunted?

Well, that's not
very sportsmanlike,

but you haven't seen
what's behind door number .

You'll be my quarry,

or your mates
will pay the price.

[Eek eek]

Give me your best sh*t.

Ha! This heat-seeking
moisture m*ssile

will extinguish
your heat vision.

My amplifizer can absorb
your Sonic sound att*ck,

amplify it,
and redirect it.

My force field
is specifically designed

to use the exact
opposite frequency

to your energy field.

Oh, and speaking
of energy fields,

this negative ion blaster
should be perfect

for depolarizing
your energy field,

eating away at the very source
of your powers,

which leaves you
very susceptible

to good old-fashioned lead.

That's it! Run!
Run like a monkey!

Ha ha ha!

The hunt is on.

Go, snorkdro, go!

Ha ha ha!

Keep on running,
monkey!

I can track your power's
energy output

with my monkey emissions sensor.

He's disappeared
from me scanner!

What? What?

[Grr]

[Eek eek]

[Grr]

Draw!

[Grr]

Ta-da!

Whoa!

[Eek eek]

[Grr]

I'll have your head,
monkey!

You can't escape me!

I'm the greatest hunter
in the universe!

Aah!

Whoa!

Whew!

Aah!

Wait!

I'll just set
this self-destruct mechanism

that will take out
this whole asteroid,

which leaves you with seconds
to save your mates...

And leaves me time
to get to my escape ship.

Oh, no!

And so I end
this fantastic voyage

in the organism's Grand Canyon.

It is hard for any mere mortal
to comprehend

the infinite amount
of empty space--

[crash]

What?
I am under att*ck!

[Tweet tweet]

At last!

My chocolate-chip cookies
are done!

Stop!

These cookies
are not for you.

These cookies are for
my laboratory rats.

These cookies contain
the wonderful formula x

and are not meant
for human species,

especially a lower
species of sister

such as yourself.

Thusly, I reiterate,

the chocolate-chip
cookies are only for my rats.

Do you
understand that?

No.

Are you a rat?

No.

Then you cannot
have my cookies,

so get out
of my laboratory!

Mmm...ok.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[Gasps]

No!

I ate your cookies!
I ate your cookies!

Ooh! What's over there?

At last!

With my sister gone,

my intellectual pursuits
shall be uninhibited!

[Slurp]

Ooh! Look at the cute
little Dolly.

Aah!

Aah!
Everybody run!

There's
a giant monster on the loose!

Ooh! More cute
little dollies.

Hmm. What are all the dollies
going to do?

I know! We'll play
cops and robbers!

[Siren]

Look out, bad guy.
Here comes the cops.

Aah!

Uh-oh, bad guy.
I think they got you.

TV :
If the kinetic energy
does not equal--

yes, it appears downtown
is being ravaged

by what eyewitnesses
describe as...

A giant monster.

And now, live
from Washington,

the president.

President:
People of the United States
of the American...

People of the uni...

Aw, heck.
Somebody just help us.

Dexter, the science community
would like to present you

with the brain
of the year award

for ridding the world
of the giant monster.

Dexter, congratulations

on ridding the world of a giant
monster.

Dexter! Dexter!

Thank you for ridding the world
of the giant monster!

I'll do it!

Computer:
Mom alert! Mom alert!
Mom alert! Mom alert!

[Crash]

Dexter?

Dexter, what are you doing here
in the dark?

Hello, mother.

Oh! You silly
little boy!

Have fun playing.

Good-bye.

Hello, mother.

Mmm. Cookies.

Whew!

Time to engage.

[Sniffs]

Ah--ah--ah-choo!

Excuse me.

[Crash]

Dee Dee, it is time for you to
come home with me.

Dexter?

Dexter, are you
in there?

Dee Dee, cut it out!

You've got to come
home with me right--

[gasps]

Hey, Dexter?

Catch me!

No! No!

That's it.

Play time is over,
Dee Dee!

Dexter?

[Gasps]

♪ Missed me,
missed me ♪

♪ now you
gotta kiss me ♪

Hey, Dexter, I got a new game
we can play.

Tag. You're it.

Computer:
Bail out. Bail out.
Bail out. Bail out.

And now
it's time for...

Dress up!

Dee Dee, don't!
Please! No!

You know I hate
dress up!

Dee Dee,
please don't!

No, Dee Dee, no!

Dee Dee,
how about a cookie?

Cookie?
I'd love one.

Whew!

[Boom]

You kids clean up this mess
right now!

Enter at
your own peril,

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab