01x08 - Babysitter Blues/The Justice Friends: Valhallen's Room/Dream Machine

[bunniefuu]

Bad dog!
Bad dog!

[Dog yelping]

Now, what am I missing?

Hmm.

But of course!

Atmosphere.

[Soft music playing]

[Loud thumping]

What?

Not here! Not now!

Not tonight!
Please, not tonight!

No, no, please!
Don't let it be!

Dee Dee.

♪ Babysitter,
babysitter ♪

♪ we get a babysitter

♪ babysitter,
babysitter ♪

No, Dee Dee, no!

You are ruining
everything!

Can you not see

that I have
painstakingly
made sure

that everything
is in order?

Tonight must go
absolutely perfect.

Capisce?

Hmm...

Ooh...

I get it.

♪ Dexter's got
a girlfriend ♪

♪ Dexter's got
a girlfriend ♪

No, no, no.
You have got it
all wrong.

It's, uh, uh...

Poker night!

[Doorbell rings]

Dee Dee,
could you get that?

Ok, mom.

Wait, Dee Dee, wait!
I'll get it!

[Ding dong]

Dee Dee: Coming!

No, Dee Dee, no!

Ok, Dexter.

You can answer the door
for your girlfriend.

I do not know what
you are talking about,

but as long
as I am here,
I might as well--

ok, Dexter.
Think cool.

Ciao.

[Slow wolf whistle]

How's my little guy
this evening?

[Stammering]

Mom: Lisa, thanks
for coming over, hon.

There's food
in the kitchen,

and we left the number
where you can reach us.

Be good, kids.

Dee Dee: Hey, Lisa,
guess what?

Dexter has a secret!

He likes a girl--

hello, Lisa. Will you excuse me
for a minute?

Dee Dee, what is that?

What? Where?

Over there.
Go get it, girl!

Now, Lisa,
where were we?

[Telephone ringing]

Oh, excuse me, Dexter.
I'll be right back.

Drat.

Hello?

Oh, Jeff, you called.

Jeff?
Who is this Jeff?

Of course I do.

You're my little
fuzzy lambikins.

No! She didn't!

She did?

Bet they're not
in love like us, Jeffy.

Love?

Oh, can it be true?

Can the object
of my affection

be bequeathed
to another?

No!

Carpe diem,

in other words,
reach out
and touch someone!

Ha ha ha!

Hey, Dexter,

is this what
I'm looking for?

No! Now go away!

I am hatching
an evil scheme.

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, sure I saw
your game today.
You were great.

[Click]

Lisa, are you there?

Lisa!

Computer: Dexter,
telephone line
disconnected.

Ready for redial
and voice augmentation.

Good.

[Ring]

Hello? Lisa?
What happened?

I guess we just
got cut off,

but I wanted
to call you back

and tell you that
you have got cooties,

and I am in love
with Dexter. Bye.

Hello, Lisa?
Hey, what is this?

Hello? That's it.
I'm coming over!

Now for phase two.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Dee Dee,
get off the phone!

Ok, but I'm still looking
for whatever I'm supposed
to be looking for.

Great.
Ok, bye-bye.

Bye.
Bye.

Bye.
Bye.

Bye!

One more time.

Hello? Jeff?
Jeff, what happened?

Oh, I guess we just
got cut off,

but I wanted
to call you back

and tell you that
you have got cooties,

and I am
in love with--

with my football. Bye.

Hello? Jeff? Jeff?
Are you there?

[Dial tone]

Mission accomplished.

And now for the third
and final phase:

The old sympathetic ear.

Hey!

What is wrong, Lisa?

Men are dirt!

Aw, that is not true.

Maybe you just
have not met
the right man...

Or boy.

Maybe you should
just give up on jocks

and go for
the more bookish type.

Oh, Dexter,
you are so sweet.

If only you were
ten years older.

Ten years older?

Wait! Hold that thought!

Yes! Yes!
Ten years older!

I will blind her
with science!

Hey, Dee Dee?

Yeah?

What are you
looking for?

I don't know.

Weird family.

Now, my sweet,
where were we?

Aah!

Lisa, wait!

Now I'll never find
true love.

Aah!

I found it!

It's you I've
been looking for
all this time!

No, Dee Dee, no!
It's me--Dexter!

Oh, hello.
May I help you?

Yeah.
Is your name Dexter?

Why, yes, it is.

Nice to meet you.
I'm Jeff.

The justice friends,
three of earth's
mightiest heroes...

Joining forces
under one roof

to face the challenge
of everyday life.

Starring major glory...

Valhallen...

And the uncrackable krunk

inthe justice friends.

Justice friends
to breakfast!

Krunk and Teddy,
ready for pancakes!

[Laugh track playing]

Krunk and Teddy are
. seconds late.

Your incessant
tardiness is working
on my last nerve!

I am so
underappreciated!

I work and sl*ve
over a hot stove,

making my special
once-a-month-only
all-American buffet
breakfast bonanza,

and where is
valhallen?

Is it too much
to ask that he show
his asgardian butt?

I, major glory, swear
on the statue of Liberty

I will never make
breakfast again!

We don't eat
until everyone
is at the table!

[Moaning]

Spooky noises
scare Teddy.

They're coming from
valhallen's room!

[Moaning]

Krunk, it sounds as
though our comrade's
in trouble!

Go inside and see
what's wrong.

Krunk never been
in valhallen's room.

Teddy and krunk scared!

You are a justice
friend, krunk,

and Teddy doesn't pay
a third of the rent.

Now open the door,

and we'll
venture together
into the unknown!

Gird your loins,
krunk,

for we know not
what awaits us

within the sanctuary
of the rock god.

Room much bigger
than krunk's.

That's why
he pays extra.

Valhallen!

Look up on slab!

Aah...

[Moaning]

Easy, son.
The justice friends
are here.

How you feeling,
kiddo?

My world's been rocked!

I'm seeing stars!

I feel like
I'm burning up!

What could have
caused this?

The a*.

I've lost...The a*!

What did he say?

Enchanted a*,

valhallen's instrument
of godly might.

It is the very source
of his power.

Without its magic,

valhallen, as well as
our lease, will surely
wither away,

leaving nothing more
than a mere...A mere...

What?
A mere what?

Mortal dude.

No!

The a*, boy.
How did you lose it?

I can't remember.

Was it lost
in an epic battle?

I can't remember.

Was it stolen
by a devilish fiend?

I can't remember.

Well, what can you
remember?

[Whispering]
Lazy, longhaired
good-for-nothing.

The last thing
I remember,

I was charioting
across the heavens,

drawn by Billy's
mighty hooves to asgard,
kingdom of the gods,

wherein I did proceed
to rock and roll.

Afterwards, I was visited
by the valkyries bearing
golden apples.

The rest
all becomes a blur.

Well, you haven't lost
your powers yet,

and William goat
is here.

The a* can't be far.

We must search every corner
of the rock god's bedroom!

Krunk,
we seek the a*!

Krunk rather
seek breakfast.

[Valhallen moaning]

This a*?

No, bro.
It's a musical
instrument.

How about this?

Bigger, dude.

Is this it?

It's probably under
that rotting heap
of trash.

a* not behind poster.

Major glory:
The twilight's
last gleaming!

He's withering away!

Maybe a* in statue.

Nope.

Nope.

When I say
"secret identity,"

Imea

oh, no!

Not my flowing locks!

This land reeks of death
and sweaty socks.

Krunk: Look! A ghost!

By the dawn's
early light!

A spooky pirate shirt,
and it's going
into that closet!

Into tomb
of funky laundry.

Be wary.

The clothing within
is so foul,

it is said to have
a life of its own.

Krunk not scared
of stinking laundry.

Krunk find a*!

Oh, no!
Wild animal
stretch pants!

Help! Ghost have krunk!

Ghost have krunk!
Ghost have krunk!

Krunk!

Aah!

Clothes have krunk!

Fear not, krunk.
Help is on the way!

Billy,
don't be a hero!

[Krunk laughs]

Goat save krunk.
Goat is good.

[Guitar strings twanging]

[Guitar wails]

a* in goat!

Krunk get a*!

Whoa, there, krunk.

I'm not sure William
would appreciate
your methods.

Whoa. Can't hold out
much longer.

Valhallen,
think fast!

Ugh!

I can feel the a*'s magic

radiating from
deep within your gullet.

I have the power!

Justice friends,
eat your breakfast!

Many thanks,
major glory, to you
and the unfraggable one

for the return
of my mystic instrument
of might.

Mmm.

Krunk love pancakes.

[Baa]

Maybe krunk have
goat's milk for breakfast!

Dexter, what's that?
Where?

Very funny!

I'm sorry.

Dexter, what's that?

Where?

Will you cut it out!

Ok.

Dexter, what's that?

Oh, no.
I'm not falling
for that again.

[Snoring]

Man: Hurry, Dexter.
You have only seconds
to complete the test!

Hmm.

Hmm.

[Buzzing]

What?

No...

Hi, Dexter!
Easy, huh?

Easy, easy, easy,
easy, easy--

very intriguing,
young lady.

How do you do it?

Oh, it's simple
once you understand that
space-time is curved.

Oh, brilliant.
Simply brilliant!

I know.

How areyou
Dexter?

[Ticking]

[Bell rings]

Dexter's log,
star date . .

This is my third straight week
of nightmares.

It has begun to affect my work
and concentration.

[Plays electronic music]

I fear I may be losing
this battle...For sanity.

[Clicking]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Computer: Welcome to the lab.
Remain seated, please.

[Computer speaks Spanish]

Dexter: I realize now
that I must employ
drastic measures

to fend for
my very peace of mind,

and so I have constructed
the dream machine...

A device which uses
a unique datawave agitator

to hyperactivate
my lower cortical
tyratic gland

and deliver
pleasant dream imagery
to my subconscious mind.

[Snoring]

Dee Dee, pay attention.
You are sleeping!

I was just resting
my eyes, Dexter.

This is very important!

You will have to stay awake
so that I can sleep.

Now listen up.

There is a thin line
between pleasure and pain.

You must monitor my dream

in the unlikely event
my machine fails

and I slip into
another nightmare.

[Snoring]

Dee Dee!

I'm awake, Dexter!

Furthermore,

should I cross the line
into nightmare territory,

it will be your duty

to press
the dream ejector button,

catapulting me back
to conscious reality.

[Snoring]

Uh-huh.

Ok, then.
To the dream station!

Mm-hmm.

Dee Dee!

Everyone,

I don't think
we could have asked for

a more beautiful evening.

Ok, let's make this
a clean one.

Whatever.

Roger that.

Rock out, Dexter!

[Rooster crows]

Top of the morning
to you, Dexter!

Hey, Dexter,
we're brain food!

Yeah!
Oh, boy!

[Fireworks and cheering]

[Fireworks and cheering]

[Fireworks and cheering]

[Rustling]

I read them all!

Ah, so the chickendid
before the egg!

[Speaking various
foreign languages]

Eureka! I comprehend
the root of all languages!

[Beeping]

Whoa!

[Snoring]

That's it!
I know everything!

I understand all!

Dee Dee:
Hi, Dexter!

What are you doing
in my dream?

You are supposed
to be in the lab!

Ooh, look how smart
you are!

Well, I am
the smartest being
in existence.

I know everything.

Everything?

Everything!

Do you know...
The purpose
of meaning?

Give me that!

I thought you knew
everything.

Oh, so that is
the one thing
I don't know,

but I know how
to find out.

How?

By going to see
the grandfather
of all knowledge.

Hmm, that is strange.
Why is it raining?

Oh, well. I am sure
the grandfather of
all knowledge knows.

Um...excuse me,
grandfather
of all knowledge,

but can you tell me
what is the purpose
of meaning?

That's an easy one,
Dexter.

Dee Dee,
what are you doing
behind that chair?

I'm the grandfather
of all knowledge!

Well, ifyou
the grandfather
of all knowledge,

that means that...

I'm in a nightmare!

Aah!

[Laughter]

[Evil laughter]

Dee Dee! Dee Dee!

[Laughter]

Dee Dee,
press the button!

Aah! Please!

Aah! Press the button!

Please, Dee Dee.
Please, please, Dee Dee.

Press it!

[Snoring]

[Buzzing]

Dexter: Help me!

Enter at
your own peril,

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab