03x01 - Muriel Meets Her Match/Courage vs. Mecha-Courage

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Courage the Cowardly Dog". Aired: November 12, 1999 – November 22, 2002.*
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Courage is a timid pink dog who must overcome his fear and help save his owners, Eustace and Muriel, from ghosts and paranormal spirits living on the farm.
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03x01 - Muriel Meets Her Match/Courage vs. Mecha-Courage

Post by bunniefuu »

ST AUG}
-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

Mano, next time we make a getaway,

remind me to drive something
smaller than a house!

Give me a hand!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SIREN WAILING)

Huh?

(WINDMILL SQUEAKING)

RADIO ANNOUNCER: In other news,
notorious thief, Maria La Dronais...

-(LAUGHING) Yeah!
- And her notorious thief husband,

Manuel "Mano" La Dronais,
have broken out of jail, notoriously!

(RADIO STATIC BUZZING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

We will be okay.

And you will have your operation.

Mano, I have a plan.

Do you have your garden shears?

TV REPORTER: In great big diamond news,

the Grandmother Diamond Exhibit
at the Nowhere Museum

is attractin' teemin' hordes
of tourists and jewel thieves.

(TV STATIC BUZZING)

What's... Huh?

Dang blasted TV! Oh!

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Hello, new neighbor.

(GROWLS)

I am Maria.

My husband and I had car trouble,

and we moved in your backyard
until we get it fixed.

Oh, my!

Why don't you both come in for some tea?

I would love to.

But my husband Mano is very shy.

Poor dear.

(CUTOUT CLATTERING)

(GASPS)

Dang lousy TV antennas!

(GRUNTS)

- Eustace, meet our new neighbor, Maria.
- Yeah, yeah, neighbor.

-(GRUMBLING)
-(BABBLING)

You dumb dog!

Go see if the roof antenna's wobbling,
or something!

(GASPS)

(GRUMBLING) Oh!

(BABBLING)

Dumb dog! Dumb TV! Dumb reception!

We've got perfect reception
in the Winnebago.

Our casa is your casa.

Which means what's mine is yours,
and what's yours is mine.

All mine.

How lovely!

Works for me. (GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLES) Neighbor.

(BOTH SLURPING)

In what clever hiding place
do you keep valuables

such as driver's license,
birth certificate,

deed to the family farm?

- Wel I. ..
-(GASPS)

Now, Courage, she's our neighbor.

Our casa is her casa, whatever that means.

(GASPS)

We just dial five...

(GASPS)

Ninety-four!

Eighty-seven.

Six. Uh, 144!

- Eleven.
- COURAGE: Nineteen!

It's a secret combination.

(DOOR CLANKING)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

Now, Courage, you can trust Maria.
She's a lovely person.

You will share with me
your beauty secrets.

See?

(MURIEL HUMMING)

(HUMMING CONTINUES)

(LAUGHS)

(SPITTING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Huh? Who?

-(SNORING)
-(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(BOTH SNORING)

(SNORING CONTINUES)

Eustace, is that you?

(BABBLING)

(GROWLING)

(BABBLING CONTINUES)

You know I can't hear you
without my glasses, Courage.

(ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(MARIA LAUGHING)

Yay!

-(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
-(CLICKING FINGERS)

(GRUNTS) Oh, I'm sorry.

(GRUNTS) Excuse me.

Oh!

- How do you do?
-(RADIO STATIC BUZZING)

RADIO ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this program

to bring you a special report.

The Grandmother Diamond has been stolen!

The precious stone was taken from
the Nowhere Museum by Muriel Bagge!

(EXCLAIMS)

MURIEL: (MUFFLED) Yes?
Did someone call my name?

RADIO ANNOUNCER:
The dangerous felon was nice enough

to leave her driver's license,
birth certificate and family photos

at the crime scene to aid the police.

(EXCLAIMS)

-(SIREN WAILING)
- Now, isn't that helpful?

-(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- Courage, can you get the door?

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

-M . urlel Bagge? - Yes?

You have the right to remain silent.

Is that you, Cousin Harold?

You're under arrest for stealing
the Grandmother Diamond.

Oh, Harold. (GIGGLES)

Maybe these will help you see things
a little more clearly.

We found them at the scene of the crime.

Why, you're not Harold!

OFFICER: One hundred and fifty-seven
people witnessed you steal the diamond...

- No!
-...while your husband waited

in your getaway motor home watching TV.

- Officer, there must be a mistake.
- There's no mistake.

(LAUGHING)

See? There you are with the diamond.

(COURAGE BABBLING)

- Oh!
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

You have the right to remain silent!

Yes, my little handyman.

Now we can afford
to get you that operation.

Aye!

Looks like we have neighbors.

Let's show them how
we treat our neighbors.

(BEEPS)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SCREAMS)

(BOMBS EXPLODING)

Great sound effects!

(LAUGHING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Oh!

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(SCREAMS)

-(GLASS SHATTERING)
-(COURAGE CHOMPING)

(WHIMPERING)

Good, Mano.
You've got him in the palm of your hand.

Now, finish him off!

(CHOKING)

They can take my old photos.
They can take my identity.

But when they take my Courage,
they've gone too far!

(MURIEL SCREAMS)

- Oh!
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(CRASHING)

EUSTACE: Great sound effects.

(GROANING)

(COUGHING)

(GAGGING)

Courage, where are ya?

-(EUSTACE GRUMBLING)
-(GRUNTS)

(GROWLING) Dumb dog!

-(YELLING)
- You broke my TV!

Ouch!

I guess the only thing
I can see without my glasses

is Eustace's big shiny head!

(swans) Ah!

Oh! Ah!

MARIA: (EXCLAIMS) Mano?

-(GRUNTING)
-(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Carumba!

(PANTING) Anything you say can...

Anything you say can and will be...

Anything you say can and... Oh, forget it.

-(HANDCUFFS CLANKING)
-(MARIA GROANS)

(WINDMILL SQUEAKING)

We've got all our things back,

and our family is together again,
safe and sound.

(EUSTACE SOBBING)

Look, Courage.

Even Eustace is weeping with joy.

(SOBBING) Joy nothing!

Those nice neighbors gave me
the best reception of my life.

When are they coming back?

-(TV STATIC BUZZING)
-(EVIL LAUGHING)

(COURAGE CHEWING)

Dl-LUNG: Hey, canine!

Courage dog, wanna play fetch?

Huh?

(MACHINE SIZZLING)

Fetch!

As dog, you no good.

(CHOKING)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

Fetch!

(LAUGHS)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERS)

No stick?

You no-good ass dog! Two time!

(WHIMPERS)

I bet I can make better dog than you.
You'll see.

Name, Courage. Joke. (LAUGHS)

(GAGGING)

(WHIMPERS)

(WINDMILL SQUEAKING)

-(WATER SPLASHING)
-(GRUMBLING)

-(HUMMING)
-(POTS BUBBLING)

- EUSTACE: Muriel!
- Oh!

There's a flood in the basement
I got to fix!

Where's my other boot?

Oh, I haven't seen it, Eustace.

Stupid dog probably took it. (GRUMBLING)

EUSTACE: OW!

Stupid dog!

Takes my boot,

then leaves a chair in front of my toe!

-(SCREAMS)
-(CRASHING)

Oh, my!

No good dog! Meet Mecha-Courage.

(BARKING LOUDLY)

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS)

He better dog than you in every way.

Chew boot.

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

Courage!

Now I prove my dog better dog!

Be better dog!

M EC HA-CO U RAG E: Bow-wow!

(MECHA-COURAGE WHIRRING)

(COUGHING)

You're looking nice
and fit today, Courage.

Must be the vinegar
I put in your dog food.

(GAGGING)

M EC HA-CO U RAG E: Bow-wow!

EUSTACE: Muriel!

Where's my boot?

How am I gonna fix the flood
without my boot?

Hey, stupid dog! Where's my boot?

What?

Huh?

WOW!

Oh, boy!

Hey, look at that!

Ah!

(WATER SPLASHING)

Wow! You ain't so stupid after all, dog!

But you're still a stupid dog!

-(SLURPING)
- Oh! Look at him sucking up that water!

Hey!

- Nice!
-(GROANING)

(DI-LUNG LAUGHING)

My dog better dog.

-(LAUGHING)
-(HORN HONKING)

Oh! (SCREAMS)

Watch where you're going, you fool!

- Could you set the table, Courage?
- Mmm-hmm.

M EC HA-CO U RAG E: Bow-wow!

(GRUMBLING)

Huh?

Mmm.

- Hey!
-(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)

(GASPS)

You know, for a stupid dog
you ain't so stupid.

But you're still a stupid dog.

Tired of fishing the old-fashioned way?

Sure am.

Then try the brand-spanking new,

super-deluxe Mega-Fish Stick 4,000!

Would you look at that rod?

Boy, oh, boy! What I'd do for that!

-(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- Muriel, someone's at the door.

Gotta get me that rod!

Oh, thank you, Courage.

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

-(GASPS)
-M EC HA-CO U RAG E: Bow-wow!

(SCREAMS)

Ooh-wee!
That Fish Stick's every man's dream!

M EC HA-CO U RAG E: Bow-wow!

Go away.

(GASPS) Oh! My dream's come true!

Hey, dog, you're not so bad after all!

(CHUCKLES)

M EC HA-CO U RAG E: Bow-wow!

(LAUGHS) Good dog, Courage.

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMS)

(HUMMING)

(WHIMPERING)

(LAUGHING) Give up, dog! I win bet!

New dog in town!

He better than you!

- Better than you in every way!
-(GROWLING)

Better than you in every other way!

No way you b*at him!
No way you ever b*at him!

No way you ever b*at him,

even if you are gladiator
in Colosseum of Rome!

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(HORNS HONKING)

Bow-wow!

(GRUNTING)

(WHIMPERS)

(WHIMPERS)

(LAUGHING DELIRIOUSLY)

Bow-wow!

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(WHIMPERING)

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHING)

(GROANING)

Oh, no!

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHING DELIRIOUSLY)

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHING) I told you I build better dog.

Why you no give up, dog?

You no good, no-giving-up dog! No good.

(STRAINING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

The things I do for...

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHING DELIRIOUSLY)

Dog not know when to quit.

(WHIMPERING)

(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHING DELIRIOUSLY)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(WHIMPERS)

(CRACKLING CONTINUES)

(RATTLING)

No. no!

(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog not know when to give up!
He wear out Mecha-Courage battery!

You no good dog!

Huh?

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMS)

(SCREAMING)

wens)

(WINDMILL SQUEAKING)

TV ANNOUNCER'.
This program is brought to you by...

Tekno-Dog! Man's mechanical best friend!

That's what we need!
Better than this stupid dog.

Eustace!

No machine could ever replace my Courage.

You fool! (LAUGHING)

x (THEME sous) x

EUSTACE'. Stupid dog!

(LAUGHS)
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