03x05 - Scuba-Scuba Doo/Conway the Contaminationist

[bunniefuu]

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Look, Courage.

Isn't all this coral beautiful?

Mmm-hmm.

Get out of my way!

(CHUCKLES)

Treasure, where are you?

Huh?

-(CRUNCHING)
-(MUFFLED YELLING)

(GASPS) Look at the sea anemone.

Look at the sea urchin!

Look at the little people having tea.

Huh?

(SCREAMING)

(GAGGING)

Phew.

You're crazy.

There ain't no little people.

I saw them, Eustace.

What kind of little people?

Little people like this dog?

(STRAINING)

(YELLS)

Idiot dog.

- Adorable wee little things they were.
- Bah!

You can come with us tomorrow, Eustace,
and see for yourself.

No way. Ain't going back in the water.

Ain't even going in the bathtub.

Suit yourself. I'm going to bed.

(BOTH SNORING)

Eh, can't sleep.

Lousy stupid island in the middle
of the stupid lousy water.

I think I'll call my ma.

(RINGING)

Hello?

Oh, it's you!
I thought you were on holiday.

What are you bothering me for?

Muriel's going crazy.

Tell me something I don't know.

Says she sees little people in the coral.

What? Say that again.

You heard me, Ma.

Muriel says she sees little people
in the coral.

We've found the coral,
the kind little people live in.

Excellent!

That coral makes the best wigs!

(LAUGHS)

No muss, no fuss.

No brush.

- Gold, silver, doubloons?
-(MACHINE BEEPING)

Treasure, where are you?

Oh!

Ah. Only a stupid pie tin.

Why don't you come with us to give
the wee people this pie I made?

Ain't no such thing as wee people.

Anyway, I'm looking for buried treasure.

Okay, suit yourself.

Come on, Courage.
Let's say hello to the wee people.

Oh, Courage, look.

(WHIMPERS)

(GASPS)

d (BRASS BAND MUSIC PLAYING) d

Welcome to Coralville, large strangers.

We are the Coralites.

How lovely it is to meet you all!

I made you a pie.

ALL: Pie!

(BELCHES)

- Excuse me! (GIGGLES)
- Eugh!

Would you like a tour
of great hall of coral history?

We'd be honored.

Our proud history begins with our founder
and forefather,

Ezra Jedediah Coral.

With a single piece of coral,
Ezra began building this reef.

He started a family.

And his family and the coral grew and grew

into what you see today.

And we work hard to make sure
our history continues.

d (CORALITES SINGING FOLK SONG) d

We are the last of our kind.

Without this reef, we would all disappear.

(COURAGE WHINES)

This reef took thousands of years
to build.

Maintaining it is endless work.

Can we help you?

We'd be honored.

d (CONTINUE SINGING FOLK SONG) d

(SONAR PINGING)

d (CORALITES CONTINUE SINGING) d

Well, happy birthday to me.

Gotta find me some treasure.
Gotta find me some treasure.

(BEEPING)

Well, happy birthday to me!

(LAUGHS)

d (CONTINUE SINGING) d

(ALL SCREAMING)

We're under att*ck!

What?

Courage, we can't let this happen.

(LAUGHING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Get out of the... You!

Have you lost your minds?

There are wee people living here!

I won't let you destroy them
and their beautiful coral!

It'll look more beautiful on people's
heads where it makes me rich.

(LAUGHS)

Courage, go get Eustace.

Tell him his mother is here
and she's gone mad.

Rooo.

Time to turn that dog into puppy chow

for sharks! (LAUGHS)

Torpedo away!

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(CORALITES SCREAMING)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

(CORALITES SCREAMING)

Stay calm!

(GRUNTS)

Bet I can sell this thing to a collector
and make a bundle!

-(COURAGE SCREAMING)
- Eh?

(YELLS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Ha-ha-ha.

Stinking lousy dog!

Yes!

(ENGINE STARTING)

(CORALITES SCREAMING)

Oh, Courage, where are ya?

(LAUGHS)

Ah!

You!

So, it's a dogfight you want, huh? Okay!

Fire rear torpedo!

(GASPS)

What are you doing?

Stupid dog!

(SCREAMS)

(EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(GAGGING)

(GASPS)

Watch where you're going, you fool!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(CHEERING)

Courage, your name will go down
in Coralville history

alongside the great Ezra Jedediah Coral!

Courage, to celebrate
the wonderful thing you did

to save the wee people,
I made your favorite pie.

(BELCHES)

Excuse me. (GIGGLES)

Beautiful work, Courage.

(BALLOONS POPPING)

(GROANS)

-(CRACKING)
- Ah, my back's k*lling me.

I ain't got no pep, no moxie.

It's getting so I don't even have
the energy to kick that stupid dog!

I know how you're feeling, Eustace.

The work just keeps getting harder.

Oh, my!

Is it snowing already?

Yay!

(AIRPLANE ENGINE RUMBLING)

(READING)

Hmm...

(LAUGHING)

Huh?

(CACKLING)

(COUGHING)

(CONTINUES CACKLING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(CHUCKLES)

(YELLING)

Help!

(CREAKING)

(GROANS)

CONWAY: Help me.

(STRAINING)

Oh, heavens! The poor man is hurt.

Big deal! Tell him to fix my windmill!

Should we call a doctor?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Perhaps a hot soak or a nice cup of tea?

What can I get you, then?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I didn't quite get that, dear.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I think he's saying "sludge."

Courage, be a good dog
and see if we have any sludge.

Ew!

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

-(GROANS)
- EUSTACE: What's... Huh?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(GULPING)

Oh, my! You finished the whole thing.

Yuck!

Feeling better, Mister...

The name is Conway, my dear.

And, yes, thanks to you,
I am on the road to recovery.

The sludge really worked?

Always does.

But I'm still a little weak.

I think it's the air.

Somethings in the air.

Oh, my! I should finish vacuuming.

-(VACUUM WHIRRING)
- No! No! No! No!

My dear, you're using
that machine all wrong.

Flip the switch in the other direction.

But I've always done it this way.

Well, you are the guest.

Ah!

Out with the good air, in with the bad.

Out with the good air, in with the bad.

(ALL COUGHING)

(GROANS)

Now, this can't be good for you.

Would you believe I'm 193 years old?

My dear, not only are there
health benefits to living like this,

but think of the money you save
on cleaning bills.

Huh? (COUGHS)

Works for me.

(COUGHING) Well, honestly,
I'd love to feel young again.

Me, too.

Then I'm the guy to help you.

First of all, you must breathe deeply.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(COUGHING) It doesn't feel so good.

Don't worry. You'll get used to it.

Just do as I say.

I've got many ways to help you

live longer and live better.

(COUGHING) You know, it's not so bad
once you get used to...

being woozy.

Woozy?

Well, I know just the thing to fix you up.

A nice soothing bath.

Well, I do want a bit more pep in my step.

It's good for what's ailing you, my dear.

Excuse me.

Ooh! It burns a bit!

That only means it's working!

(COURAGE GROANS)

(BABBLING)

That stuff won't help you live
long like Conway.

You are a dog.

You understand the benefits
of filthy, disgusting filth.

Mmm-mmm.

Well, then get used to it.

With a little sprucing down,
I think I can call this home.

(CACKLING)

(CRASHES)

(COUGHING)

(GIBBERING)

EUSTACE: Muriel?

Muriel?

(COUGHS) Yes?

I forgot.

That's okay, Eustace.

As long as we have our health.

We do have our health, don't we?
(COUGHS)

-(RUMBLING)
- Of course you have your health.

You have better health than ever.

Don't you feel fantastic?

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh, such a pretty cloud.

(COUGHING)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Okay! Seal it up!

(GASPS)

(?RES SQUEAL

Oh, no!

(COUGHING)

Silly dog. You'd need a much bigger vacuum
to clean this up!

(LAUGHS)

Hmm...

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(WHIRRING)

Yes!

(STRAINING)

Ooh! Ooh! OW!

Whee!

Ooh!

(EXCLAIMS)

(YELLING)

(COUGHING)

(BOTH PANTING)

Oh, my, I haven't felt this good in days.

Speak for yourself.

I was saving me some money
on cleaning equipment.

CONWAY: Help!

Get me out!

Well, you know, actually,
it's kind of nice in here.

So polluted.

(LAUGHS)

Well, I hope Conway can go somewhere
where he can live the way he wants,

like a pig.

Live long like Conway!

(LAUGHS)

Courage, you look a fright.

Let's go inside and get you cleaned up.

Hose him off out here!

I don't want that stupid, filthy dog
in my house!

(LAUGHS)

x (THEME sous) x

EUSTACE'. Stupid dog!

(LAUGHS)