03x08 - So in Louvre Are We Two/Night of the Scarecrow

[bunniefuu]

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS IN FRENCH)

MAN: Oh, je t'aime.

(GRUMBLING) Yuck!

Isn't it amazing that we won
this trip to Paris

just by finding a coupon
in the cereal box?

(CHOMPING) Mmm-hmm!

You must not enter le museum now, Madame.

It is only five minutes until closing.

Good! I'm tired.

But I've got to see the Mona Lisa.

My mother always said
Mona and I were like twins.

Don't you agree?

(GRUMBLING) You look nothing
like the Mona Lisa!

And I give you five minutes
to go see for yourselves!

Stupid American.

(GASPS) Even the heavens are
more beautiful from here!

Look. Venus and Mars
are lining up tonight.

There's magic at work. I can feel it.

-(MURIEL GIGGLES)
- Big deal.

(WHINING)

-(FOOTSTEPS ECHOING)
- Arg. Eh.

Yuck!

Look! There she is.

The most famous painting in the world.

All because of her mysterious smile.

I want to get a picture of me
and the Mona Lisa.

(WHINES)

(GASPS)

Huh?

MAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM) Ladies
and gentilshommes, it is the closing time.

Hurry up, Courage. It's closing time.

(GASPS)

It's okay, Courage.
The resemblance is overwhelming.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, stupid dog.

- Eh!
- EUSTACE: Ah...

Take a picture of me with this idiot.

"The Thinker," huh?
I know what he's thinking.

"How come there's no TV set?"
(LAUGHS)

(SCREAMS)

Huh?

(GASPS)

MURIEL: How Lovely.

(EUSTACE GRUMBLING)

I got to take a breather.

(FIRE CRACKLING)

Ah.

(HUMMING)

Feels just like home.

-(CHAIR CREAKING)
-(SNORING)

(ALL SNORING)

-(FOOTSTEPS ECHOING)
-it is the closing time, everyone.

Ah. No one here but the sculptures.

-(DOOR CLOSES)
- Huh?

I must have taken a wee snooze.

- Eustace!
- Eh? Eh! Let's get out of here already.

Mmm-hmm.

I want to see Mona one more time.

(GROANS)

Ah!

(WHIMPERING)

(STRUGGLING)

- Oh!
-(GIGG LING)

Ahhh!

(GASPS)

(WITH ITALIAN ACCENT) Hey, Thinker.
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Put some clothes on, you beatnik.

Huh. Hmm.

- Oh!
-(CRASHING)

(GRUMBLING)

So, what have you been thinking
about all this time?

(STUTTERING) Uh, your smile.

Uh, I think.

Molto bene, mio amore.

What do you say we go someplace
and have a little fun? No?

Maybe we should. Or maybe we shouldn't.

Might be fun. Might be weird. Hmm.

I need to think about it.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Well, let's go, Thinker.

When the planets separate again,
you and me,

we gonna be stuck in place forever.

Let's make sure it's someplace
really worth smiling about. Si?

Uh, well...

-(STRAINING)
-(BABBLING)

(MONA LISA LAUGHING)

Hmm.

MONA LISA: Come on, big guy.

Let's you and me get naturale
and jump right in.

Uh, I don't know. It might be too cold.

I might get sunburned.
There might be mosquitoes.

Let me think.

(GRUNTS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

-(WHISTLING)
- Hey, you see not the sign?

No dogs allowed!

Ahhh!

Hmm.

(CHUCKLING)

A royal flush?

Get out of here!

Ahhh!

Courage, I feel myself drying.

Get me out before...

(STRUGGLING) ...it's too late.

(EXCLAIMS)

(MONA LISA LAUGHING)

(KISSING)

Blech!

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

I thought a little bit of something
strange might loosen you up.

Yeah. You got to relax, man.

Just hang, baby.

Hmm, I don't know. I just...

Hmm, let me think.

(GRUNTING)

-(CREAKING)
- Oh!

Oh!

(EXCLAIMING)

You got to stop the questioning everything
and enjoy the moment, you know?

Hey, Thinker!

You there?

Hmm... Should I have tea with lemon?

Decaf with cream?

Hmm.

I need somebody who just take me in his
arms and give me a big smoocherooni.

You know? A kiss.

I need to think about it.

(BELL RINGS)

(KISSING)

(TAPPING)

(WHINING)

(WAILING)

-(BEEPING)
-(LAUGHS)

(POPPING)

Whoa, Mama!

Sorry, baby.

I think we should see other people.

Men!

THINKER: Hmm. Hmm.

Whoa, baby!

(STATUE WHISTLES)

Well, if you're not gonna kiss me,
I think there's somebody who is.

(KISSING)

Oh, my!

Yuck.

Huh?

Oh, no!

(STRUGGLING)

(KISSING)

Yes!

THINKER: Hmm. Soup or salad?

Hmm? Salad or soup?

Ah, Courage, you're a true artist.

Look. That one reminds me of home.

(WINDMILL CREAKING)

MURIEL: Like sisters.

I wonder when Eustace
will be getting back?

This itch is k*lling me.

Somebody scratch my back.

- Stupid American.
-(EUSTACE GRUMBLING)

My, isn't it a marvelous fair this year?

The hayride was grand! Grand!

(GRUMBLING) Another 50 cents
down the drain!

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

I just love county fairs.

Blah-blah-blah.

(CROW CAWS)

Huh?

(CROWS CAWING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(CAWING CONTINUES)

Oh, guess rain's a-coming.
I had better close the window.

'(CAWING)
- Oh!

Ahhh!

Hey! Watch what you're doing!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

ALL: Ahhh!

-(ENGINE REVVING)
-(TIRES SQUEALING)

- What do you...
-(BABBLING)

(CLICKS)

-(ENGINE REVVING)
-(TIRES SQUEALING)

Must be stuck in a ditch.

(GRUMBLING)

Now, Eustace, getting all
unhinged isn't going to help.

Like my Aunt Gertrude always said...

Ahhh!

(GHOULISH WAILING)

(BANGING)

- Hey, you!
-(HORN BLOWING)

(THUD)

BOTH: Ahhh!

Huh?

Ahhh!

Well, would you look at that?
It's nothing but an old scarecrow.

Poor thing.

Eh, forget that worthless pile of straw.

Now, Eustace, really.

All it needs is a few buttons
here and there,

a patch or two, and it'll be good as new.

(WINDMILL CREAKING)

Hmm.

The wee scissors.

(SQUEAKING)

Ugh.

(THUD)

There you go. Good as new.

Oh, my!

(MUFFLED INDISTINCT SPEECH)

-(DOOR OPENS)
- Muriel!

What's all this junk doing
lying around the floor?

Oh!

(GHOSTLY MOANING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(GHOSTLY MOANING)

(MENACING MOANING)

Eh? Get away from me!

N ow, n ow.

You haven't got your
scaring powers back yet.

(MUFFLED INDISTINCT SPEECH)

If you could just speak
a bit more clearly, I... Oh!

(SNIPPING)

(SNIPPING)

Now, how's that suit you?

Mmm. Oh!

Ah! Thank you.

(WINDMILL CREAKING)

(HUMMING)

You just rest up.

And I'm sure you'll be scaring
lots of things in no time.

- Courage!
- Mmm-hmm?

Would you mind pouring us all
a wee dram of lemonade?

Mmm-hmm.

(HISSING)

- om
- Ah!

(MENACING MOANING)

(SNIFFING)

(HISSING)

(RATTLING)

Ahhh!

BOTH: Ahhh!

-(CHOMP)
-(ENGINE REVVING)

(TREMBLING)

Thank you, Courage.

-(SADLY MUMBLING)
- Now, now.

I don't want you worrying about
frightening things on my account.

Oh, if I can't scare things away
to protect you,

what good am I?

Don't you worry about protecting me.

Nothing bad ever happens around here.

(CLANGING)

Oh, my!

(SCARECROW MOANING MENACINGLY)

Oh my!

Ahhh!

(b*ating)

Ahhh!

(SHIP WHIRRING)

What good am I?

(MOANING)

wens)

There, there. You're just done in.

I'm sure you'll be right as rain
in the morning.

MAN: Repeat after me: I am bad.
People fear me.

I am bad. People fear me.

I am bad. People fear me.

Yeah!

I am bad. People fear me.

(LAUGHING SINISTERLY)

EUSTACE: Where's my jelly?
Can't eat my toast without my jelly!

We're all out.

I'll just run down to the basement
for another jar.

-(POUNDING ON THE DOOR)
- See who it is, dog!

- Ahhh!
-(SQUISH)

Hey! That was the coupons!

Ah!

Let go of me. Let me--

(BANGING)

Ahhh! Ooh!

(BLUBBERING)

- Ah!
-(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)

Now, Eustace, I always tell ya to clear
your mess when you're through eating.

(BABBLING)

(GROWLING)

(WHIMPERING)

(CHOKING)

-(BANGING)
-(COURAGE YELLING)

Ow'.!

(EXCLAIMING)

That scarecrow is getting
a wee bit carried away.

You're too exposed up here.
I need to get you to a safe house.

A safe house?

(DOOR SLAMS)

MURIEL: Oh, my!

(EXCLAIMING)

(CHUCKLING DELIRIOUSLY)

(SQUEAKING)

Muriel!

(BANGING)

I want jelly!

-(COURAGE WHIMPERS)
-Stupid dog! Fetch me jelly!

COURAGE: Ahhh!

(GROANING)

Oh, Courage. Thank heavens it's you!

EUSTACE: Ahhh!

What about my jelly?

(ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Muriel!

(GASPS)

Ahhh!

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Muriel! Protect Muriel!

Oh! OW! Oh!

(SQUEALING)

BOTH: Oh!

(TEETH CHATTERING)

-(CAWING)
- Ah! Ah!

(IMITATING CROWS CAWING)

(CROWS CAWING)

Oh, no! Not the crows!

(SCARECROW YELLING)

Why? Ahhh!

Ahhh!

-(SCARECROW PANTING)
-(CROWS CAWI NG)

Oh, my!

(GROANING)

Poor thing.
Not much of a scarecrow, is he?

(HORN BEEPING)

My father was a scary scarecrow.

And his father. And his Aunt Hilda.

Oh, but me, I'm a worthless
bale of nothing.

Just because you come from a scary family
doesn't mean you have to be scary, too.

But what else is there
for the likes of me?

Maybe you've got other talents.

Hmm!

Don't you just love a hayride, Courage?

Mmm-hmm.

Ha!

EUSTACE: Get off of me! Get off!
Hey! Hey! Hey!

X (THEME sous) x

EUSTACE'. Stupid dog!

(LAUGHS)