02x08 - Sidekicks Assemble!

[bunniefuu]

That meteor is on a collision course with Earth.

This is outrageous! Something tells me Shadow Thief is behind this.

Jeepers.

What do you think they're talking about?

Can't tell.

Too far away.

Stay put.

I'm gonna move in closer.

You're not the boss of me.

Why don't you stay put and I'll move in closer?

Forget it, Water Boy.

[GRUNTING]

Uh, guys?

Guys?

Guys! [OVER MICROPHONE]

Becoming a true hero requires discipline and teamwork.

You three should learn how to fight evil, not each other.

[GROWLS]

Alpha six formation.

Let's move.

Aqualad, stay in formation.

I am.

You're the one out of position.

Uh, did you say alpha five or six?

Hyah! Golly, that was exciting.

Hey, maybe when we grow up, we could join forces.

You know, like a real crime-fighting team.

That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

Besides, who'd be in charge?

Not you, Bird-Brain, that's for sure.

Like you'd do a better job?

I say whoever takes down the most bad guys gets to be leader.

What do you say?

- Bring it on.

- Bring it on.

Hyah! [GRUNTING]

Gee whiz, Robin, that was just great.

Thanks, Speedy but if this team's gonna take on real villains we're gonna need a lot more practice.

Team?

I thought you said that was a dumb idea.

That's before I became leader.

[BEEPING]

ROBIN: Nice outfits.

Looks like you guys are dressed for a funeral.

Too bad it's your own.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Hold it right there.

AQUAMAN: Aqualad?

GREEN ARROW: Speedy?

Robin?

What are you doing here?

Kicking butt, what does it look like?

This is no time for a training mission, Robin.

These are Ra's Al Ghul's henchmen.

Run home now and we'll tell you all about this adventure later.

[AQUALAD AND AQUAMAN GRUNT]

We were handling this fine till you got here.

AQUAMAN: Neptune's beard, they're gone.

Gee whiz, we were only trying to Get in the way?

Well, mission accomplished.

Robin, perhaps it's time we compared notes at the Hall of Justice.

BATMAN: With the aid of his right-hand man, Ubu and dutiful but devious daughter, Talia Ra's Al Ghul is a force to be reckoned with.

He is the single most cunning adversary I have ever faced and will use whatever means necessary to achieve his twisted environmental goals.

Which is why we've been tracking his henchmen for weeks.

We're tired of being treated like second-class superheroes.

I think that's a bit of an exaggeration.

I've always treated Speedy well.

Quick! Retrieve my bow from that crocodile pit! Robin, the journey from sidekick to hero is paved with Save the clichés, Batman.

We've paid our dues.

We want a real mission.

I suppose you've earned a chance to prove yourselves.

Therefore, I'm going to let you take your pick between two missions.

Ra's Al Ghul is planning another as*ault using an environmental w*apon.

The infrared satellites have picked up abnormal solar-cell activity on this island 20 miles offshore from Coast City.

A possible indicator of his base of operations.

There have also been some minor seismic shifts recorded on an unpopulated island nearby.

But the intel on that location is weak at best.

You are so predictable, Batman.

Excuse me?

You're trying to trick me into picking the first which sounds all cool and dangerous but is probably a waste of time instead of the second mission, which sounds totally boring but is the one that secretly kicks butt.

Say what?

Well, I've got news for you, Bats I'm not falling for your little bait and switch.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Yeah, right.

We'll take the second island.

You know, the "boring" one.

Come on guys, let's move.

SPEEDY: Golly, our first real solo mission.

- I'm excited, aren't you excited?

- Yeah.

Thrilled.

Hey, genius, are you sure you picked the right island?

Fishboy, if there's one thing I know, it's how Batman thinks.

If there's one thing I know, it's how Robin thinks.

You knew from the outset that Robin would assume you were trying to trick him.

Which is why I was completely honest in my description of the two missions.

Our young wards will be investigating a completely uninhabited island.

While we'll be infiltrating Ra's Al Ghul's secret headquarters.

Impressive ploy, old chum.

Wouldn't you say, Arrow?

I would if I understood it.

Seriously, my head hurts.

[GASPS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Welcome, detective.

A shame I can't be there to greet you myself.

- Then the kids - You mean?

They chose the right island.

You know, you stink at picking missions.

This place is a total waste of - This - Is ALL: Awesome! Well, well, well.

Look who's flown the nest.

A cute little birdie and his playmates.

Hello, Talia.

I see you're still as evil as your power-mad father.

Can we stop flirting and just fight?

[TALIA GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

Alpha six formation! Now! Aquaman, stay in formation.

I am, old chum.

You're the one out of position.

Wait.

Did you say alpha five or six?

ALL: Oh, yeah! Or not.

[COUGHING]

Impressive display, Boy Wonder.

The detective has trained you well.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

Huh?

Blinded by greed and consumed by the culture of excess mankind has ravaged the planet's resources to the breaking point.

But this "chloro-cannon" will return the meccas of pollution back to their natural state.

The first to fall will be Coast City.

But their fate need not be your own, Robin.

The detective sent you here because he thought nothing of your abilities.

He will never see you as his worthy successor.

But my empire could be yours.

[GASPS]

My daughter is a capable warrior.

Unfortunately, a sharp tongue and a strong will are no substitute for a male heir.

Join me, Robin.

Become the son I never had and together, we shall restore paradise on Earth.

Gee, let me think.

Uh, no.

Ubu, grind them into fertilizer.

[REMOTE BEEPS]

Did he say fertilizer?

Relax, Speedy.

He just said that to scare us.

Well, by golly, it's working.

Ra's Al Ghul's got quite a green thumb.

I think I shall call this adventure "The Time Batman Sent us to the Wrong Island.

" [ALL YELL]

[GROANING]

If you want to live, follow me.

She's so into me.

Don't flatter yourself, little birdy.

I'm doing this for me, not you.

I couldn't risk that this deathtrap might convince you to change your mind and join him.

Taking over the family business is my destiny.

I intend to claim it.

I suggest you do the same, Boy Wonder.

What's that supposed to mean?

Don't you think it's time to stop living in the bat's shadow and be your own man?

- Oh, and Robin?

- Yes, Talia?

If I ever see you again, you're a dead man.

Wow.

That was brutal.

Jeepers, ha, ha, I'll say.

Can we just get moving?

[RUMBLING]

That madman.

Poseidon's trident! A flying island! It is time for humanity to meet its master.

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

That's just wrong.

If we don't shut that cannon down everybody in Coast City's gonna be plant food.

We've got to hurry.

That flying island is destroying Coast City.

Give it to me straight, Bats.

You think the kids are gonna be okay?

- It's not working.

- Maybe you're not doing it right.

I just did that.

Uh, guys, it looks like the cannon's being controlled by a remote power module using an advanced form of wireless energy transfer.

What can I say?

I play a lot of video games.

- Can you shut it down?

- Gee willikers, I can give it a try.

We'll have to manually steer the ship away from the city.

Uh-oh.

Hold your positions.

Ubu's mine.

[GRUNTING]

Behold, a garden of Eden on Earth.

Funny, all I see is a big weed that needs to be whacked.

Detective, you are a most persistent thorn in my side.

Long time no see, Ra's.

I'd prefer it to be longer.

Shall we say, eternity?

You sure you don't need a hand?

Shut up and steer.

I got this.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[ROBIN YELLS]

Look, I can help.

Just keep turning.

I've got an idea.

Gotcha.

[UBU YELLS]

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Any luck, Speedy?

Can't seem to override the cannon's remote power module.

What about short-circuiting the f*ring mechanism?

That could work.

- You're actually agreeing with me?

- At least until we get out of here alive.

What do you think we should do?

Fry it?

Freeze it.

Cryogenic arrows, at your service.

One.

Two.

Three.

[BATMAN GRUNTS]

No! Looks like your machine's been neutralized, Ra's.

It's over.

Far from it, detective.

There are still thousands of gallons of chloroplast stored in deep reserve that will level the city when this ship self-destructs.

[ALARM BUZZING]

COMPUTER VOICE: Initiating self-destruct sequence This place is gonna blow.

COMPUTER VOICE: Initiating self [WHALES SINGING]

[expl*si*n]

[GRUNTS]

Goodbye, detective.

Yours will be a valiant end indeed.

That's not normal for a flying island, is it?

Outrageous.

Don't be so hard on yourself, old chum.

Just think of him as the big one that got away.

And even bad deeds can result in some good.

The destruction of that cannon has given the sea life off Coast City a chance at renewal.

And the kids did okay on their own.

Speak of the devil fish.

Congratulations, lad.

All of Atlantis shall know of your heroics.

And I shall call this adventure "The Time Aqualad Finally got Some Well-Deserved Credit"?

Um, okay.

Hey, listen, kid.

I'm sorry about all the lousy stuff I made you do.

Guess I've been a little out of line.

Ah, Jeepers, Arrow, you haven't been out of line.

You've been a jerk.

Aqualad, Speedy, where's Robin?

ROBIN: Robin's left the building.

You've trained me well, Batman.

But from now on, I make my own decisions, call my own sh*ts.

- And my new name is - Nightwing.

Hey Actually, that's not bad.

Thanks.