02x06 - Clash of the Metal Men!

[bunniefuu]

BATMAN: This time, pirates, you walk the plank right into prison.

This will make quite a chapter in my new memoir 20,000 Victories Under the Sea.

- What do you think?

- I'll wait for the movie.

Until next time, Aquaman.

High drama on the high seas.

Oh, do I have a tale for you, my precious family.

But it seems you have a better one.

[GRUNTING]

What in Neptune's beard?

[THUMPING]

These are no ordinary starfish.

MAN: They are not starfish at all.

They have traveled a billion light years as the vanguard of an unstoppable conqueror.

I am its herald the Faceless Hunter.

[AQUAMAN GRUNTS]

How ironic, that the very face of evil has none.

ALL [CHANTING]

: Starro lives.

Starro lives.

Starro lives.

Starro lives.

Fluke, we must alert Batman.

[GASPS]

[GRUNTING]

Starro lives.

Starro lives.

Starro lives.

Starro lives.

And now to neutralize the rest of Earth's defenses and prepare the way for the great Starro invasion.

[GROWLS]

Your toxic tantrum ends here, Chemo.

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTING]

Thought you could use an assist.

Thanks.

And you are?

- They call me Gold.

- He's our team leader.

I'm Iron.

And I'm, uh Oh.

- Lead, sweetie.

- Yeah, Lead.

Thanks, Platinum.

I'm Mercury.

What's it to you?

And I'm, uh, just Tin.

[CHEMO GROWLS]

Not to be rude, but, uh We know.

Chemo must be stopped.

I'll draw his fire.

Hit him with everything you've got.

Sounds like an ironclad plan.

Um, maybe a soft metal like me ought to sit this one out.

Every hero has a part to play.

[GRUNTS]

[IRON GRUNTS]

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTING]

[ROARS]

Who's up for a cannonball?

[GROANS]

Three, two, one and he's down for the count.

ALL: Metal Men! Nice work, but we still need to take care of the toxic spill.

Tin's got that covered.

[SIGHS]

Yup, good old Tin.

Clean-up guy.

That's about all I'm good for.

Advanced robotics combined with cutting-edge nano-kinetic metallurgy.

You Metal Men can only be the creation of one person.

Dr.

Milton Magnus.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Good to see you, Batman.

Perhaps you'd like me to show you how I created the next revolution in crime fighting.

Almost ready.

Just need to cue up the old projector.

IRON: This is great.

Hey, that's my chair.

Lead love movie night.

[GROWLS]

PLATINUM: Best seat in the house, Batman.

Thanks, I'll stand.

[UPLIFTING FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello, I'm Dr.

Milton Magnus.

Please, call me Doc.

ALL: Hi, Doc! MAGNUS: Some 10 years ago, I opened this very facility dedicated to cutting-edge research in a variety of emerging fields.

I recruited a team of young scientists, the best and brightest all of whom shared my dream of wanting to make the world a better place.

But then, tragedy struck.

This part make Lead sad.

Not gonna cry and rust again.

MAGNUS: There was a horrible lab accident.

My trusted colleagues, our dreams, all perished.

I considered shutting down the lab for good but that would only compound the tragedy.

The dream we shared would live on must live on.

And so I embarked upon a fresh chapter of experimentation this time in nano-robotology and eventually were born the first prototypes of the Metal Men.

ALL: The Metal Men! Yay! Gold, Iron, Lead, Tin Mercury and Platinum.

The legacy, dreams and visions of Magnus Laboratories would live on in these new heroes.

[CHEERING]

Play it again, Doc.

- Just the last part.

- Where we show up.

[ALARM BEEPING]

[GASPS]

CO2 detector.

No doubt the battery needs changing.

Tina, wasn't that one of your chores?

Oops! Forgot.

Sorry.

I'll be right back.

Behave, all of you, and be courteous to our guest.

Hmm, strange.

Not only CO2 but traces of hydrogen and nitrogen.

[MAN CACKLES]

[GRUNTING]

Carbon dioxide.

Can't breathe.

That's kind of the idea.

HELIUM: Some helium ought to give you a lift.

But maybe the good doc could use some fresh air.

- Oxygen.

- Well, gee, I don't know.

Maybe someone ought to open a window.

Or better yet, a wall.

Compliments of Hydrogen.

[GRUNTS]

Magnus.

Chloroform gas.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

Temperature's normal.

He's okay.

But where's Doc?

- He's been kidnapped.

- Aah! - Kidnapped?

- By who?

Living gas.

Fortunately, nitrogen has an extended half-life.

We should be able to follow its trail.

Any idea who could've sent these gaseous abductors?

Don't have a clue.

Everyone liked Doc.

Maybe I can help.

Doc encodes me every night with his backup files.

Just slip me into your data port.

Computer search files of Doc Magnus.

Anything related to gas.

[GROANS]

Morning, Doc.

Who are you?

What, you don't recognize us, Doc?

[GASPS]

The lab accident.

You survived.

If you call this surviving.

In case you didn't notice, we aren't quite ourselves these days.

So pardon us if we're a little [BELCHES]

gassy.

What do you want from me?

Just a little help from our old friend.

This gas form we're in is unsustainable.

We're fading, dissipating.

And soon, poof, we'll be gone with the wind.

But, surely, there's a way to reverse the process.

What we need are bodies, you know.

You made the Metal Men.

Use those metallurgy skills of yours.

You owe us.

We were trying to turn your dream into a reality and now we're living a nightmare.

[ALARM BLARING]

Seems we've got an intruder violating our airspace.

Let's go play scarecrow.

Don't let us down, Doc.

Bodies.

We need bodies.

[BATMAN SNIFFS]

You smell that?

Gas.

- Uh, sorry.

- Not you.

CO2.

Nitrogen.

Chloroform.

Hey, I'm rusting.

OXYGEN: Actually, the scientific term is oxidizing.

[GRUNTING]

It's like trying to punch wind.

Except this wind can punch back.

Hey, Batman, take a whiff of me.

Your time will come, evildoers.

[CHUCKLES]

That's never not funny.

Enough playing around.

Let's finish them off.

Nitrogen.

Okay, Hydrogen, let it rip.

[GRUNTING]

[TIN SCREAMS]

[GROANS]

[BATMAN GRUNTS]

An energy-grid cage.

Diabolical.

It's keeping us from using our shape-shifting powers.

I wish I could help.

Sorry, guys, I'm just not much of a metal, am I?

Batman and my Metal Men.

- Hey, there's Doc.

LEAD: Well, I'll be.

Oh, Doc, you're okay.

HYDROGEN: Sure he is, for now.

The gas creatures have bodies.

Please, call us the Gas g*ng and you can thank Doc for our new look.

The accident that turned them into gaseous specters, it was my fault.

I pushed them too hard.

My dreams were too ambitious.

Wrong.

These so-called scientist never wanted to make the world a better place.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Of course, we did.

A better place for us.

I don't understand, unh.

BATMAN: After studying your files I discovered your colleagues used your lab for their own purposes.

They worked to develop a unique, hybridized gas designed for the specific purpose of triggering volcanoes.

But why?

Imagine what despots and dictators would pay for this gas and its awesome ability to destroy any enemy any country, from within.

Only the experiment backfired.

HELIUM: But it didn't fail.

And in our new forms we easily unlocked the secret formula.

[BEEPING]

Mad men like you come in many forms but liquid, gas or solid, they always wind up in the same state: Inert.

OXYGEN: That seems doubtful as you've got a front-row seat to our new w*apon.

Just need one last teensy assist from the good doc to deliver the gas.

[GRUNTS]

Never.

I'll have no part in this evil scheme.

HELIUM: Sure you will.

You just need a little push.

[MAGNUS SCREAMS]

PLATINUM: No.

LEAD: Doc! [LEAD GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

HELIUM: Much as we'd love to stick around, we've really gotta blow.

Before the volcano does.

We have to save Doc before the heat triggers the gas.

Or we all go dead.

The dioxide battery from my scanner could be our ticket out of here.

What's a little battery gonna do?

By itself, nothing, but it holds a powerful electrical charge and when electricity flows through iron it creates Electromagnetism.

Which will wreak havoc with this cage.

Well, then charge me up and let's get magnetic.

Brace yourselves, everyone.

This could get a bit rocky.

[SHOUTS]

We did it! Woo-hoo-hoo! OXYGEN: Gas again.

[ALL GASP]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

HELIUM: Come on, guys, gotta make quick work of them before things get too hot in here.

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[SHOUTS]

What do we do now?

Metal Men, suit up.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

Guess the combined power of the Gas g*ng is stronger than that of you and the Metal Men.

It's also more flammable.

Uh-oh! [COUGHS]

Quick, Batman, you need to get to Doc before the gas canister activates and triggers the volcano.

GASSES: Guess who's back.

You just can't keep a good gas down.

And look what we can do now.

Everything we pass becomes gas.

Next stop, everywhere.

[CACKLING]

You have to stop that cloud, Batman.

But what about Doc?

You gotta rescue Doc.

Me?

But, uh, I can't.

I'm all melted.

Body's wrecked.

But mine isn't.

Use my body, Tin.

[GRUNTS]

I'll give you a hand, Tin, uh with your head.

You can do it, Tin boy.

You got a hero's heart.

But it's inside my body, which I'd like back when you're done.

BATMAN: If I calibrate the engine's subatomic drive for self-destruct mode the ensuing reaction will ionize the gas particles and should render the cloud ineffectual.

In theory, anyway.

The gas canister is activating.

- Gold?

- It's me, Tin.

The body's just a loaner.

Hurry, Tin! I knew my Metal Men would save me.

So where's Batman?

[CACKLING]

Eject.

The cloud, the plane, and Batman all gone.

Look.

You've got a nice shine going there, Tin.

Doc add a little brass to your undercoat?

No, I'm still all tin.

I may not be the strongest metal, but I finally feel like part of the team.

It's not the body it's the head on the body wherein true heroism lies.

You're all precious metals to me.

You've been rather quiet through all the repairs, Batman.

Sure you aren't suffering any aftereffects from the gas cloud?

A slight one, but I'm sure it'll wear off soon.