02x24 - Darkseid Descending!

[bunniefuu]

RONNIE: Then the opposing side does an end-run.

Now comes the big handoff.

So when does he start teaching chemistry?

This is him teaching chemistry.

And into the end zone for the big score thus forming a covalent atomic bond.

So team, any questions?

Man, it's boiling in here.

Can someone let in a little cool air?

[GRUNTS]

Ah, better.

[STUDENTS MURMURING]

Hello, Ronnie.

Remember me?

- You know this psycho, coach?

- No.

I've never seen Wait.

Louise Lincoln?

Is that you?

It is! We were quite the item.

Until I dumped her.

Louise wasted the spring of her youth on Ronnie Raymond but as k*ller Frost she'll make sure this city will fall into the winter of its discontent.

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

This icy incursion ends now! [SHOUTING]

[BOTH GRUNT]

Step aside.

I'm about to blow out an old flame.

Sorry, Frost, but I make it my personal business to protect innocent lives.

Innocent?

You call the man who broke up with me via text message innocent?

- Incredible.

- Really?

Quick and painless.

It was the humane thing to do.

I could've handled that indignity if he didn't make me pay for all of our dates.

What is wrong with you, coach?

Hey! How did I become the bad guy here?

[SHOUTS]

I think we better end this relationship.

[SHOUTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

This is only the beginning, Candlestick.

Good job, Firestorm.

But remember, arch-enemies can be a deadly business.

Great.

Now she's your ex and your archenemy.

Pfft, like there's a difference.

The Watchtower is up and running again, Aquaman and our new recruits have arrived.

Outrageous! Man, this place is even cooler than I thought! I can't work like this.

Anyone know where the nearest bathroom is?

I can see my house from up here! Are you sure about this, old chum?

Forming a new league, after the way the last one ended?

With what we may be facing, I don't see another choice.

[FEEDBACK RINGING]

Welcome.

I'd like to thank you all for agreeing to be part of what promises Hey, Bats, is there a reason it's so stinking hot in here?

Oh, I think I know the reason.

- Wingman! SKEETS: Right here, sir! Hello, ladies, I don't believe we've met.

[SKEETS PLAYING MUSIC]

The name's Gold.

And you can bet I'm as precious as the metal.

We are Fire and Ice.

A volatile combination.

Like my mother's peanut butter and sardine smoothies.

AQUAMAN: Yes.

Um As Batman was saying we have brought you all here Mother of Pearl, it is hot in here! Yes, yes, the heat, I know.

This is Martian Manhunter, our strategist.

I'm having trouble fixing the air conditioning.

SKEETS: Sir, I am well versed in over six million forms of refrigeration.

- May I be of service?

- Of course.

Just what I need.

Another know-it-all.

BATMAN: Now, let's get down to business.

Green's my favorite color too.

So, wanna see the inside of the Boostermobile?

[BATMAN CLEARS THROAT]

Two weeks ago, I sent the Question to uncover information on the possibility of an Earth invasion.

He hasn't been heard from since.

- Invasion?

From where?

- Apokolips.

- Home of the Parthenon?

BATMAN: No.

A distant world enslaved by the most evil beings in the known universe.

[GASPS]

The Greeks.

I'm working to piece together any clues from Question's last transmission.

In the meantime, Manhunter can show you around.

So that was the trophy room.

Next up is Excuse me, but do you mind?

I have this thing about fire.

I bet you do.

MANHUNTER: Now this is our training room.

I'm reminded of the time when Big Blue himself challenged me to an arm wrestling competition here.

Of course, my compatriots warned me this would surely be a losing battle but I brought something more than brute force to the table.

I brought physics.

- Well, the day approached and - By Neptune's trident you do not know how to tell a story! Sorry, I sometimes tend to prattle on.

Cookie, anyone?

Check it out.

Actually, that was once Hal Jordan's.

And now it's mine.

Home sweet home.

[GASPS THEN GROWLS]

- What are you doing in here?

- Called dibs, didn't I, Skeets?

SKEETS: And firsties, sir.

Look, you poser, get out of my cabin right now! Um, no, I think I'll stay.

[GRUNTS]

Not the face! Not the face! [BOOSTER GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

Gentlemen, please.

Let's settle this like civilized [AQUAMAN GRUNTS]

Son of a whale shark! Have at thee! [YELLS]

Come here, you.

- Oh, boy fight.

- So immature.

[GROANING]

BOOSTER: Not the face! Not the face! Please! We must fight together! What's it look like we're doing?

[GRUNTING CONTINUES]

AQUAMAN: See, l Come here! [YELLING]

MANHUNTER: You want some of this?

Come on! [SIGHS]

[ALARM BUZZING]

Craters of Phobos.

The World thr*at Alarm.

SKEETS: At least that's working, sir.

Boom tubes.

Dimensional portals used by the forces of Apokolips.

Then adventure calls.

Let's get down there, so you punks can see a real hero in action.

The Greeks must be stopped! Gotta text my publicist.

- Skeets, how many P's in "Impending"?

- One, sir.

Is this suit too short for world-saving?

- Um, I wonder if it's short enough.

- Quiet! Listen, people.

This team is not about egos or wardrobes or publicity.

It's about handling threats larger than any hero can alone.

When history remembers this group and its first mission will it be of individuals who could not get the job done or will it be of the greatest superhero team ever assembled saving the world in its darkest hour?

[ALL CHEER]

That so did not go how I was expecting.

[SNARLS]

KALIBAK: "A world of heroes," they called it.

Pathetic.

In all our conquests, I've never seen a planet fall so quickly.

All that remains to be settled is who gets to k*ll who.

[GRUNTS]

Think you can give us cover?

[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]

That is Portuguese for "no problem," heh.

[GROANS]

[ALL SCREAMING]

- Where are we?

- Auxiliary Batcave.

Batman to Watchtower.

What's the situation?

I'm afraid it's quite hopeless.

They stopped making these parts SKEETS: That should do it.

Try it now, sir.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

I was referring to the recent occupation of Earth.

Oh, that.

Not too good either.

Take a look at this.

BATMAN: Then it's going to get worse.

- Worse?

What's worse than world defeat?

- World domination.

They've set up a boom-tube generator here in the capitol.

Once activated, it will provide mass transport between Earth and Apokolips.

Kind of redundant, ain't it?

They're already here.

Not everybody.

- Darkseid.

BATMAN: Immortal.

All powerful.

Unstoppable.

For all intents and purposes, a god.

There's still a chance to repel the enemy.

That is, until he arrives.

That's what the Question deduced.

Darkseid is planning to transform Earth into a world of burning fire pits.

His new Apokolips.

That doesn't sound so nice.

Manhunter.

We're going to need your strategic expertise.

We'll need a three-pronged att*ck: Defense, distraction, demolition.

Team One: Ice - And Beetle?

and Booster.

- Yes! - Team Two: Fire - And Beetle?

and Aquaman.

- Unh.

- Now listen carefully.

Team One will lay down a covering fire.

BATMAN: Team Two will do a hit and run on the main forces, drawing them off.

MANHUNTER: Team Three will run interference, clearing a path.

BATMAN: While I infiltrate the boom generator and disable it.

[GRUNTS]

If this works we just might have a chance.

"Lf"?

Since when has any plan of Batman's ever failed?

Impossible.

Our signal is triple encoded.

Cross routed over a dozen satellite feeds.

Untraceable.

Unless Texting the publicist.

How many D's in "Armageddon"?

KALIBAK: The chase has ended but your suffering has just begun.

Soon my father will arrive and life as you know it on this planet will be over.

GUY: Yeah?

Says who?

[GRUNTS]

We're going with plan B: Improvise.

[SQUEALS]

[SHOUTING]

[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHS]

Huh?

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[BATMAN GRUNTS]

The generator, old chum.

[GASPS THEN GRUNTS]

KALIBAK: You're too late.

Father's home.

Batman.

I know all about you.

I haven't become the most feared being in the universe by underestimating my enemies, but by obliterating them.

You're impressive, as mortals go.

But in the end you're just a human with a few toys.

AQUAMAN: En garde! Huh?

[ALL SHOUT]

You want this world.

Yet you're afraid to win it in a fair fight.

How long has it been, Darkseid, since you've faced a mere mortal without hiding behind your godlike powers?

A blatant attempt to taunt me into combat.

But in truth, it has been an eternity since I've exercised purely physical force.

And I relish the opportunity.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

I must admit that was exhilarating.

Is this where you hurl a clever retort at me?

[GROANING]

No?

Then I shall separate your atoms into the primordial ether a most fitting demise.

Not possible.

You! You did this.

How?

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

BATMAN: The Question?

You reversed the generator's frequency, sent them back.

QUESTION: Had to go undercover on this for a while but I knew you'd find some way to keep them busy.

Now earth can prevent similar incursions in the future.

- Great.

Can we wreck it now?

- Knock yourself out.

[CRASHES]

- Boys.

- I know.

Why should they have all the fun?

So, Bats, for once in your life you weren't the one to throw the last punch and save the day, heh.

- How's that feel?

- Pretty good.

Hey, poser! That's my piece of cake.

- Guy Gardner always gets the corner piece.

- You mean this piece?

All gone! Oh, you're gonna be all gone in a second! [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

You know, Batman, this may be an unconventional team but I think it has the makings of something special.

Perhaps some air conditioning will cool them off.

After all, it's about the little battles.

SKEETS: There appears to be a problem with the electrical system, sir.

MANHUNTER: Yes, yes, I'll get right on that.