04x05 - Bride of Swamp Monster/Goat Pain

[bunniefuu]

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage The Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere,
with her husband, Eustace Bagge!

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home!
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

MURIEL: Oh, Eustace, it's gorgeous.

Just like the locket
my Great Aunt Gertrude had.

(EUSTACE MUTTERING)

See, Courage?

This picture of you and me fits perfectly.

Mmm-hmm!

Bah. It's junk is all it is.

And here's one of Eustace
for the other side.

Bah!

Now it's only half junk.

(GROANS)

So, we'll give you half.

I'll do it for the lady!

That's so sweet of you.

Fog's getting thick.

Let's git!

(CREEPY MUSIC PLAYING)

Darn fog is thick as your breath, dog.

(EXHALES)

(SNIFFING)

My new locket is the perfect home
for my favorite photos.

Let me see that!

Oh!

Dang slippery piece of junk!

Eustace, watch the road!

Shut up!

-(ALL SCREAMING)
-(TIRES SCREECHING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

I think we're in a swamp!

(OWL HOOTING)

Oh!

Eustace!

My locket!

Your locket?

What about my truck?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Quit complaining and get out and push!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

If you'd been driving carefully,
I'd still have my locket.

Yeah?

Push harder!

My poor locket with my favorite photos.

Probably floatin' down to the bottom.

(COURAGE WHIMPERING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Ah!

Come on, you weak nothings!

-(BOTH STRAINING)
- We're pushing as hard as we can!

And we could use a little help!

(MUTTERING) What am I...

- Oh!
-(BOTH STRAINING)

(MUTTERING)

Ooga-booga-booga!

Ahhh!

(WHIMPERING)

(LAUGHING)

Ow'.!

MURIEL: I can't believe my lockett gone.

Big deal.

I still got my truck.

(LAUGHING)

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANING)

Ah.

My swamp woman.

I lost you once,
but now I'm bringing you back.

And nothing's going to stop me.

Nothing.

(SNIFFING)

(sum-nus)

(SNIFFING)

Mmm.

(WOLF HOWLING)

(SNIFFING)

(SNIFFING)

SHOPKEEPER: Yes?

What pleases you?

Have you seen this woman?

L, uh...

Won't think...

I mean...

Oh, the slime.

"Slime"?

Not in a bad way, you understand.

Have you seen her?

(ROARING)

(SNIFFING)

MAN: (ON TV) We interrupt this program
with a special report!

It's amazing!

A huge swamp man has been
on a rampage of destruction

throughout Nowhere!

SWAMP MAN: (ROARING) NO!

Where are you, swamp woman?

Who's to blame?

Who will pay the price?

This is a story steeped in controversy!

(SWAMP MAN ROARING)

Swamp woman, I want you back!

Ugly man ain't gettin' a girlfriend back,
'less she's blind and stupid.

What drama!

What spectacle!

How did you ever come up
with this outstanding stunt?

(ROARING)

Oh, my!

Isn't that the shop where
we bought the locket?

That is one angry swamp man!

And isn't that our farm?

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREAMING)

(CLANGING)

Now you're talkin'!

Go sleep with the chickens!

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(DOOR SLAMS AND LOCKS)

(GASPS)

wens)

(WOLF HOWLING)

(FOOTSTEPS)

(SCREAMING)

(SLURPING)

(GASPING)

Swamp woman.

(CRASHING)

(LAUGHING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

Who the heck are you?

(GRUNTING)

(MUTTERING)

Swamp woman.

I've come back for you.

(SCREAMING)

(EUSTACE MUTTERING)

(SQUEAKING)

I've waited centuries for you
to come back.

Now I've got you.

And I'm making you my bride.

COMPUTER: So, you want to find
the swamp man's real girlfriend?

Mmm-hmm!

COMPUTER: I think that's her.

She's located in a small town
called Lotsinvllle, Nlcksburg.

Huh?

(YODEL MUSIC PLAYING)

We're home, swamp woman.

(sum-nus)

He just didn't understand me.

He thinks I'm, uh, forgetful!

But I'm not forgetful!

I just have a blocked head.

But that still doesn't give him
the right to be so impatient with me.

Mmm-hmm.

Who are we talking about again?

Wens)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Oh, right.

Him.

He waited how long for me?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Centuries, huh?

Maybe he's gotten more patient.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Marrying her?

Yuck!

She's repulsive!

I can't let this happen!

Oh, hello!

Who are you?

And when did you get here?

(GROANING)

(WEDDING MUSIC PLAYING)

SWAMP WOMAN: Everett?

Hmm.

Huh?

Swamp woman!

Centuries, huh?

(GRUNTING)

(SHUDDERING)

(EXCLAIMS)

- Catherine!
-(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

So many years.

My mind must have gotten foggy.

I've been so confused.

See?

We can all be a little

forgetful.

I suppose.

Wens)

Why didn't you answer any of my letters?

I sent you hundreds.

Whenever I'd go home after work,
I'd forget where I lived.

Guess I missed your letters.

Forgot where you lived?

How could you forget where you lived?

CATHERINE: Don't take that
superior tone with me!

Seaweed could take
a superior tone with you!

CATHERINE: You're such a bully!

A beast!

(COUGHING) Courage?

(COUGHING)

I had an awful dream, I did.

Oh, my!

Such a good dog.

Let's go home.

EVERETT: Why can't you remember anything?

CATHERINE: I can remember things.

CATHERINE: Hey!

When did we get underwater?

(EVERETT ROARING)

EVERETT: Swamp woman!

(GROANING)

EUSTACE: Muriel?

Get yourself out of bed and feed me!

I'm sorry, Eustace.

I can't move.

(STRAINING) My back's k*lling me!

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, that's too bad.

You're sweet.

Nope.

It's too bad 'cause I'm hungry.

I gotta get you fixed up.

(GROANING)

Hmm.

Does it hurt when I do this?

(THUD)

(GROANING)

(GASPS)

(CRANKING)

Does it hurt when I do this?

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
-(QUACKING)

(GROANING)

Does it hurt when I do this?

WOW!

(GROANING)

Hmm.

I am afraid I cannot do anything
for this kind of pain.

Nothing at all.

Doctor, you gotta do somethin'.

I'm in awful pain.

And it's almost lunchtime!

Oh, dear!

I see you are all very upset.

Well, I have heard there exists
at the top of Mount Nowhere,

a hot spring with healing waters.

Yay!

(MURIEL GROANING)

This mountain had better have some food.

Oops!

I forgot to tell them that no one
ever returns from Mount Nowhere.

Oh, silly me. (LAUGHS)

-(COURAGE STRAINING)
-(MURIEL GROANING)

Hey, stupid dog!

Are we there yet?

(STRAINING)

(STRAINING)

- om
'(GASPS)

Huh?

(GROANS)

Go back!

(GRUNTING) "Go back"?

You, goat!

We're lookin' for a hot spring!

This place is sacred!

Go back!

(WHIMPERS)

-(BACK CRACKING)
-(GROANING)

No dumb, stinking mountain goat
with stupid oversized antlers

tells me what to do!

You humans make me sick!

Get lost!

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS)

A man!

What... Huh?

(SCREAMING)

Please, Mister Goat.

Just let us get through
to those healin' waters.

I'm in such pain.

-(BACK CRACKING)
-(GROANING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

So, you want to see the hot spring?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

I'll show you the hot spring!

(SCREAMING)

(YELPS)

(EXCLAIMS)

-(CRACKING)
- Ow!

You get to see the spring, too, pooch.

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

Ow'.!

(SCREAMING)

(THUD)

(MURIEL GROANING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

GOAT: Feel better now?

There's your hot spring.

But where's the water?

Oh.

This place was once filled with water!

Ooph!

GOAT: It was goat paradise.

We called it Spa of Horns.

Once, goats came here
from miles around to relax,

get their beards and horns trimmed,

and bathe in the rejuvenating waters.

But then a human explorer
discovered us, and it wasn't long

until others of your species arrived,
using up all the precious healing water,

and throwing my brothers
and sisters off the mountain...

Until only I was left.

So, I started knocking trespassers away

with my horns, which grew and grew.

Oh, Mister Goat, I feel so sorry for you.

I'd try to help you get rid of that neck
ache if I wasn't in so much pain myself.

You think you're in pain?

I don't think you know
what the word means.

-(BOULDER FREEFALLING)
-(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Ow'.!

So now you will know the years
of pain I have endured.

- Please, Mister Goat.
-(CRACKING)

We'll leave right now.

Ow'.!

-(CRASHING)
-(BOULDER FREEFALLING)

(SCREAMING)

From now on, my pain will be your pain.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, Courage, what are we going to do?

-(CRACKING)
-(GROANING)

(STRAINING)

wens)

(CRANKING)

(CREAKING)

(GROANING)

Oh, soon we'll be as flat as pancakes.

(STRAINING)

(THUD)

Phew.

Oh.

- Ooph;g

(THUD)

Oh, no!

(GROANING)

(sum-nus)

Courage, I never knew you
were this good at massage.

-(CRASHING)
- If you could only massage

-that goat, maybe he might...
-(BOULDER FREEFALLING)

- Oh!
'(THUD)

Oh!

You have been a bad dog!

Disobedience must be punished
with more boulders!

(LAUGHING)

-(CRASHING)
- Ow!

-(BOULDER FREEFALLING)
-(BOTH SCREAMING)

(THUD)

(THUD)

.(THUD)
.(THUD)

- Oh!
'(THUD)

Yay!

Bad dog!

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

-(NECK CRACKING)
- Ow!

(SCREAMING)

(THUD)

(GROANING)

(GALLOPING)

(SCREAMING)

(THUD)

Ow'.!

'(THUD)
-Ow!

-(THUD)
-(NECK CRACKING)

Ow'.!

-(THUD)
-(GROANING)

-(THUD)
-(GROANING)

(THUD)

-(NECK CRACKING)
- Ow.

(GROANING)

(GOAT GROANING)

(SCREAMS)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

Ouch!

-(GLASS BREAKING)
-(GROANING)

(RUMBLING)

(GASPS)

Huh?

Whee!

You sprung the spring, Courage!

And my pain's completely gone!

(GOAT GROANING)

(GROANING)

I think Mister Goat could use
the full spa treatment.

Don't you, Courage?

Mmm-hmm.

(GOAT GROANING)

What?

What are you doing?

Oh.

Oh!

- The water is back!
-(NECK CRACKS)

(CRACKING)

Oh, my!

Oh, my, my, my. my. my!

(sum-nus)

You look like a million bucks!

I mean, goats!

I feel great!

(LAUGHING)

My Pain is gone!

I can't believe it!

Thank you!

Is this the legendary hot spring
that cures broken hearts?

Argh.

Oh, Courage.

It looks like things are
changing for the better.

(Bonus)

(LAUGHING)

(THEME some)

EUSTACE: Stupid Dog!