04x09 - Aqua-Farmer/Food of the Dragon

[bunniefuu]

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

ANNOUNCER". Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Wet World!

Oh, Eustace, isn't this exciting?

Eh! Big deal!

And now, Nowhere Wet World
is proud to present

the world-famous, one and only

Jo-Jo, the amazing performing dolphin.

-(JO-JO CLICKING)
-(CAMERAS CLICKING)

MURIEL: Oh.

Blah, blah, mm

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(CLICKING)

(PLAYING HARMONICA)

(DRUMS b*ating)

Show-off, know-nothing guppy.

Ow'.!

CROWD: Oh!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

(GIGG LING)

(GRUNTING ANGRILY)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

You call that swimming? Ha!

That ain't swimming.

Heck, I could swim better
and faster than that!

Is that a challenge I hear?

Ladies and gentlemen, this man
claims he can out-swim Jo-Jo.

(LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

Ha! With one hand tied behind my back.

But, Eustace, you haven't swum in years.

Challenge accepted!

What do you say, Jo-Jo?

(CLICKING)

When I blow the whistle,
you two will race to the end of the t*nk.

I'll tell you what,
you can even use both hands.

(LAUGHING)

(GRUMBLING)

(COURAGE GRUNTS)

- Eustace, what are you doing?
-(BONES CRACKING)

I'm gonna show that smart-aleck dolphin
that a fish ain't no match for a man.

Oh, dear!

On your marks,

get set.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

(LAUGHING)

Huh?

(EUSTACE SCREAMING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

That's okay, Eustace.

It's no shame to lose
a swimming race to a dolphin.

Oh, yeah? Well, I ain't getting
beaten by some stinking fish!

I'll show you!

I want a rematch tomorrow.
Same time, same place.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a rematch!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

Yo, Auntie! What's up?

Eustace, what took you so long?

We had to work out
the deal for the rematch.

If I lose, you're gonna
have to pack up your things

and move in with the dolphin
and be his sidekick.

Oh, dear!

(CLICKING)

No!

-(WATER SLOSHING)
- MURIEL: You can do it, Eustace!

Come on, Eustace!

Swim!

I don't want to be sidekick
to Jo-Jo Dolphin.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

(EUSTACE PANTING)

Shut up, will you?

(PANTING) I'm concentrating.

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(EUSTACE MUMBLING)

(COURAGE GASPS)

(METALLIC CREAKING)

Okay, dog! Let her rip!

Hey, look at me.

I'm swimming.

Oh, lovely!

I can go way faster than this.

Speed it up, dog-

(LAUGHING)

(ALARM BLARING)

(SCREAMING)

(EUSTACE THUDS)

Oh!

Here, have some biscuits
and a wee cup of sassafras tea.

It's no use trying to cheer me up, Muriel.

I'm a failure. I can't do it.

(SOBBING)

Courage, we've got to do something.

Otherwise, I'm going
to have to grow gills.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

Oh, look, Eustace.

It's Doctor Von Boobenmeyer,
the world-famous psychiatrist.

Please come in.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I'm just a great big nothing, Doc.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(GRUNTS)

Ooh! Ooh!

Oh!

He says you need to cr*ck
open your hard, awful self,

and let out your better parts.

Out with my old self,

in with my new self.

(EXHALES)

I sure hope this works, Courage.

(BOTH SNORING)

Out with my old self...
(INHALES SHARPLY)

In with my new self.

(INHALES SHARPLY)
Out with my old self...

(INHALES SHARPLY)
In with my new self.

(LAUGHING)

Wake up!

(SHRIEKS)

Eustace, is that you?

You look grand.

It's my new self, woman.

Let me at that fish.
I'll make chopped herring out of him.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

- Oh, wow. (LAUGHING)
-(SHUDDERING)

Starting off our show today, a race.

The rematch between
Jo-Jo and Farmer Bagge.

(LAUGHTER)

This should be over quickly.

(SHRIEKS, THUDS)

ANNOUNCER". Contestants, take your places!

MURIEL: Go, Eustace!

Go, Eustace!

ANNOUNCER". Whoever can get through
Wet World's wacky waterways first,

will be the winner!

(SCREAMING)

On your marks, get set.

(QUACKS)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Ah!

(FOGHORN BLOWS)

(BELL RINGING)

(LAUGHING)

Oh, no, you don't!

That isn't fair. He's cheating.

It's no use.
I'm just a great, big nothing.

(CLICKING)

(GASPS)

A great, big nothing.

Ooh! Ooh!

What's that?

Get away from me!

Stupid dog!

(CLICKING SLOWLY)

Oh!

Go, Jo-Jo, go!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(LAUGHING)

(CRYING)

He did it, Courage!

Eustace b*at the fishy!

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

EUSTACE: Come on! Who wants to race me?

Oh, my!

Isn't this cozy?

Everything is normal again
now that Eustace has his self-esteem back.

Come on! Who wants to race me?

- I want to win! Win, win!
-(GLASS CRACKING)

Win, win!

-(GLASS SHATTERS)
-(SCREAMING)

(ACCORDION PLAYING)

MURIEL: Ahoy, me maties!

Twelve bells means
it's time for grub in the galley.

Lousy stinking fish stink.

Aye, it's me first mate.

Just cut the fancy talk,
and let's get to eating!

And I ain't wearing no bib neither.

You might not care much,

but Courage and I are enjoying
our new "Seafood Sunday" luncheon,

-aren't we, Courage?
- Uh-huh.

Eustace, don't you think
that the seafaring atmosphere

makes the food taste better?

Makes me want to puke in the ocean!

(THUDDING AT DISTANCE)

(GULPS)

(THUDDING CONTINUES)

Huh?

(SHUDDERS)

(SCREAMING)

Courage, what's wrong?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Shut up, will you?

Wens)

(BABBLING)

You dumb dog.

(TEETH CHATTERING)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(THUDDING)

(SCREAMING)

(GULPS) Mmm.

Good lobster.

(BABBLING EXCITEDLY)

A sailor's dance.

A grand idea.
And you do it so well.

(SHRIEKS)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, I get it, Courage.

The ship sprung a leak
and you're fixing it.

Good work, matey.

Ooh!

Food!

What? Go get your own grub!

(GULPS)

(SCREAMING)

Courage, where did Eustace go?

EUSTACE". I just got ate.

Oh, my!

Eustace, are you in there?

EUSTACE: Of course I'm in here!

Now, get me out!

Food!

(SCREAMING)

(SHRIEKS)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Courage, I think the dragon's sad
because he can't get to us.

Sorry, Mister Dragon,
but we don't want to be eaten.

I would eat you if I could fly.

Everyone in my family is a great flyer.

Why, oh why can't I fly? (SOBBING)

If only I knew.

If only I knew.

Aw, poor dragon.

Thank you.

You're very nice.

Wish I didn't have to eat you,
but it's the way I am!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

That's it!

If you eat me, I'm just gonna have to
stop feeling sorry for you!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

It's bad enough I can't fly,
now, you want me to starve!

E-hee!

That's not realistic.

If dog fur didn't give me a rash,
I'd eat you.

Ew!

I don't care if she's radioactive,
I've eaten worse.

(GASPING)

(DRAGON READING)

I'm bored with these games!
I'll eat her now.

Wait!

What now?

(BABBLING)

You'll help me find out
why I can't fly if I don't eat her?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

EUSTACE: And while you're at it,
get me out of here!

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

Wee!

(CHUCKLING) Wee!

Wens)

(BLADES WHIRRING)

Wee!

(BLADES SPUTTERING)

This is not good for my self-esteem.

So, boys, what's the good word?

Still don't know why I can't fly.

Dog can't tell me. Gonna have to eat you.

Sorry.

-(ROARS)
-(SCREAMING) No!

(MUMBLING)

(GASPS)

Watch where you're going, you fool!

Watch out, Courage!

We're running out of trees!

(PANTING)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

Courage, the lake!

If he can't fly, maybe he can't swim!

Dragons just don't like water, I guess.

Oh!

-(GROWLS)
-(BOTH SCREAMING)

Hey- easy, guys.

I ain't gonna hurt you.

Want some fish fries?

Fish-sicle?

Fish is so good.

Sure glad I was born a water dragon

and not one of those flying dragons
that eat people.

I didn't know there were
different kinds of dragons.

Don't eat fish, only people.

All flying dragons eat people.

(SNIFFLES) Even the ones that can't fly.

(EXCLAIMS)

Mmm-hmm.

DRAGON: Oh.

Okay, just a bite.

Mmm. Say, this is good.

Much better than people.

Got any more?

Mmm-hmm.

Compromises, compromises.

But I must have more fish.

Hmm. Mmm.

Water feels good.

Hey, these aren't wings!

They're fins!

William, it's you!

My long-lost brother.

Tell me, brother.
I'm not a flying dragon, am I?

No. You're a water dragon.

Mom and Pop lost you during the storm.

You must have been adopted
by flying dragons.

The dog was right!

No wonder I always hated
the taste of people.

Which reminds me...

(SCREAMS)

Well, it's about time!

Well, I think this is the perfect place
to finish up our "Seafood Sunday."

(FLYING DRAGON ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

EUSTACE". Stupid dragon!

(LAUGHING)

(THEME some)

EUSTACE: Stupid Dog!