04x13 - Remembrance of Courage Past/Perfect

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Courage the Cowardly Dog". Aired: November 12, 1999 – November 22, 2002.*
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Courage is a timid pink dog who must overcome his fear and help save his owners, Eustace and Muriel, from ghosts and paranormal spirits living on the farm.
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04x13 - Remembrance of Courage Past/Perfect

Post by bunniefuu »

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

-(COURAGE WHINING)
-(MURIEL HUMMING)

(SLOBBERING)

Ooh!

Yes, Courage.

The chicken dumplings are just about done.

I know they're your favorite.

Yes!

Eustace, dinner's about ready.

Here you go.

Mmm-mmm-mmm!

Mmm-mmm!

(GULPS)

(LAUGHS)

(GULPING)

Huh?

(WHIMPERS)

(WHINING)

Oh!

(WAILING)

Baby, you're supposed to catch the ball.

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

DAD: Yay!
MOM: All right!

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

MOM: Henry.

(GRUNTS) Ow!

(STRAINING)

(GRUNTING)

(COURAGE WAILING)

He's stuck.

Henry, we have to get him to the vet.

(COURAGE WAILING)

(WAILING)

(CONTINUES WAILING)

(CONTINUES WAILING)

(EXCLAIMS HAPPILY)

Ah! Okay.

(enemas)

(GRUNTS)

May I talk with the two of you
for a moment?

In private.

(EXCLAIMS IN EXCITEMENT)

Mmm!

(SLURPING HAPPILY)

(GRUNTING)

(SNAPS)

(WAILING)

Huh?

-(DAD SCREAMING)
- MOM: Help! Help!

MOM: Help!

DAD: Let us go!

Don't take me from my baby!

What are you doing to us?

BOTH: (SCREAMING) Help! Help! Help!

DAD: Help!

EUSTACE: Muriel!

Where's my dinner?

(MUTTERING)

Here you are, Eustace.

Some nice hot chicken dumplings.

What's with the stupid dog?

And what's he doing sitting at the table?

(GULPS)

Courage, you haven't
finished your dumplings.

Is something wrong with them?

(SNIFFS)

Dumpling-hogging dog.

Human food's too good for you.

Muriel, from now on,
it's dog food for the dog!

(HUMMING)

Oh, my!

Courage, you're still here?

You haven't moved since last night.

Why is that dog
still sitting at the table?

Eustace, I'm worried about Courage.

I think he's not well.

I've got just the cure.

Ooga-booga-booga!

I think it's time
we took Courage to the vet.

(GASPS)

(BOTH STRAINING)

Let us go!

Don't take me from my baby.

What are you doing to us?

Help!

(SCREAMING) Dad!

DAD: Help!

(WHINES)

(SNARLS)

(BRAYS)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS)

(FOOTSTEPS)

MOM: Help!
DAD: Let us go!

BOTH: Help! Help!

Help!

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(WHINING)

Mmm-hmm.

Hmm.

I know just what to do with the dog.

But I'd like to have a moment with him...

Alone.

Of course, Doctor.

No!

No need to be afraid, Courage.

We'll be right outside.

(BARKING WORRIEDLY)

Hey!

MURIEL: Courage, where are you going?

Stupid dog!

(SCREAMING)

Courage!

(PANTING)

-(WHINING)
-(DOGS BARKING)

(STRAINING)

DAD: What are you doing to us?

MOM: Help! Help!
DAD: Help!

(GASPS)

DAD: Help!
MOM: Help!

(VET HUMMING)

BOTH: (SCREAMING) Help! Help!

(BUTTONS BEEPING)

(SNICKERS)

(PANICKED WHIMPERING)

(STRAINING)

(WHINES)

(TIMER BUZZING)

(WHINES)

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

Hey!

(GASPS)

Ready for the trip?

(SNICKERS)

-it's your turn now.
-(BUTTONS BEEPING)

(GASPS)

(BUTTON BEEPS)

(CONTINUES BUZZING)

(VET LAUGHING)

What are you doing with my Courage?

-(WHIMPERING)
-(BANGING ON DOOR)

You've seen too much!

You'll be the first humans to see
my secret experiment at work!

Breeding dogs in space is the future.

EUSTACE: No!

MURIEL: You can't do this!
EUSTACE: Hey!

(WAILING)

Help!

(VET BABBLING)

Huh?

-(COURAGE YIPPING)
-(VET BABBLING)

(CONTINUES BUZZING)

Ooh!

(STRUGGLING)

(SCREAMING)

(RUMBLING)

(WHIMPERING)

(CONTINUES BUZZING)

- You can't do this!
- Hey!

- Oh!
-(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMING IN SURPRISE)

(STRAINING)

It's time for your trip, little dog.

"(LAUG HS)
-(G ROANS)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

(CONTINUES BUZZING)

Oh!

(SNICKERING) Oh!

COMPUTER VOICE:
Five, four, three, two, one, launch.

(RUMBLING)

Oh, Courage. I knew you could do it.

Blah, blah, blah.

He still ain't sitting at the table.

(BABY COURAGE WAILING)

(WHIMPERING)

MURIEL: Oh, my. You poor thing.

Out here all alone?

What courage you have!

Would you like to come home with me?

(WHIMPERING)

I'll call you Courage.

We'll have a grand time.

Isn't it grand being together?

Our cozy wee family.

(GRUMBLING)

I wonder what became
of the cruel veterinarian.

(GROWLS)

(DOGS GROWLING)

(GASPS)

(ALL GROWLING AND SNARLING)

Well... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Huh?

-(RIPPING)
-(VET SCREAMING)

(MUTTERING)

(COURAGE GASPS)

Huh? Stupid dog!

You did it wrong!

Just like you painted
the chicken coop wrong.

And you did a lousy job
repairing the windmill.

You can't do nothing right, you amateur!

You ought to go to
right-thing-doing school.

Someone who'll make you perfect!

(WHIMPERS)

MURIEL: Eustace!

Package for you.

I think it's that bugle.

My bugle! Yeah.

(COURAGE GROANS)

(LAUGHS)

-(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)
- Ooh!

Wha...

Ah!

Gonna fix this thing right up.

(LAUGHS)

Meantime, you oil the boiler.

And do it right!

-(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)
-(GASPS)

(LAUGHS)

Courage, why don't you come
help me make baklava?

I've never made it before.

(enemas)

Remember, Courage.

It's supposed to be thin,
crisp, and lighter than air.

Mmm-hmm.

Lighter than air.

Huh?

Oh, well. Don't worry, Courage.

This time you crush the nuts
and I'll bread the fish.

(HUMMING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS LOUDLY)

(YELPS)

Aw, Courage.

That table wasn't very sturdy, was it?

Go get Eustace and I'll tidy up.

(GASPS)

You are a disgrace!

(SCREAMS)

What's wrong, Courage?

(PANICKED WHIMPERING)

I don't see anything.

(PANICKED WHIMPERING)

(GROWLS)

(WHINES)

All right.

I'll go fetch Eustace and you tidy up.

TEACHER: That is no way to stand.

Ow'.!

I want to see perfect posture.

Shoulders back, chin out,
ears up, and walk.

Eyes ahead. Even steps.

No, no, no.

Can you walk correctly?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

(GRUNTS)

If those books stay in place,
you're walking perfectly.

Go!

(STRAINING)

You're not the least bit perfect!

(WHINES)

Can you speak correctly?

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Now, repeat after me, and do it perfectly.

"The turkey in Albuquerque
is positively perky."

(RECITING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

No, no.

I said perfectly!

Now, try again.

(ENUNCIATING) "The turkey!"

(REPEATING UNINTELLIGIBLY)

I want a perfect "ur."

(ENUNCIATES) Ur!

(STRAINS) Ur!

(ENUNCIATES) Ur!

(STRAINS) Ur!

Your speech is abominable!

Your walking is a disgrace!

(WHINES)

Let's see if you can
make something perfectly.

Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Observe each detail of the drawing
and your tower will be...

Perfect!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Look at the work of another of my pupils.

A perfect pupil.

Wens)

(LAUGHS)

I'm perfect!

As you can see,

yours is decidedly

not perfect!

(GASPS)

It's late.

We have a lot to cover tomorrow.

So your last assignment of the day is

go to bed and sleep perfectly.

Can you do that?

(BOTH SNORING)

(SNORING)

(ECHOING) You're not perfect...

(SCREAMS)

(WHIMPERING)

wens)

(SNORING)

(BUZZING)

(BUZZING)

(BUZZING)

(VOICE CACKLING)

-(COURAGE SCREAMING)
- MURIEL AND EUSTACE: Oh!

(WHINES)

(MURIEL AND EUSTACE SNORING)

(COURAGE SNORING)

(SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERING)

- Stupid dog!
-(GRUNTS)

(SNORING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Oh!

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

-(BUZZING)
-(SCREAMING)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

(SNORING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(SHATTERING)

-(SCREAMING)
-(SHATTERING)

(SCREAMING)

(EUSTACE GRUNTS)

(THUD)

(GROANING)

(ROOSTER CROWING)

(YAWNING)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

(GROANS)

You're late!

(GROANING)

Be perfectly quiet!

Sit up straight!

There is going to be
a surprise final exam today.

(BABBLING)

If you don't get
a perfect score on this exam,

there will be consequences.

Everywhere you go
for the rest of your life,

everyone will know that you're

imperfect!

(WHIMPERS INQUIRINGLY)

You have to go to the bathroom?

Mmm-hmm.

Make it quick.

While you're there,
practice brushing your teeth.

Do it perfectly.

MALE VOICE:
There's no such thing as perfect.

Huh?

You're beautiful as you are, Courage.

With all your imperfections,
you can do anything.

(GASPS)

Would you like to try
some baklava, Courage?

It's more like gum, really.

But you can blow the sweetest bubbles.

Oh!

(LAUGHS)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

(LAUGHS) I'm gonna start
me own band of cracked horns.

Yay!

And now for your final examination,
draw a perfect number six.

(GASPS)

Time's up!

I don't see a six here!

(enemas)

(SCREAMING)

That's not perfect!

(VOICE DISTORTING)
You rotten, imperfect dog.

Now you'll never reach the perfect

level of perfection...

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(PLAYS TUNELESSLY)

Mmm.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

TEACH ER: Perfect!

(THEME some)

EUSTACE'. Stupid dog!
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