01x02 - Many Happy Returns

[bunniefuu]

(Man sniffling)

A lot of us are still in shock

about the tragic events
that have brought us here.

The loss of
Walter and Susan Perkins

forces us to question
if the work we do

is worth the risks.

Eureka was born
from the idealistic vision

that by advancing science,

we can control it
for the greater good.

Clearly,
that's not always the case.

We can never forget
Walter and Susan.

Their legacy
is in our hands now.

Their friends, their family.

Their son.

Walter and Susan,
you will be greatly missed.

ALLISON: I still don't get it.

CARTER: What's that?
Susan committing su1c1de.

I mean,
I know it sounds callous,

but I don't care
how bad things are,

once you have a kid, you
don't get to just check out.

Well.

My daughter Zoe said pretty
much the same thing to me

when I told her I was
being transferred to Eureka.

Taking your life and taking a
job are hardly the same thing.

In this town?

Not so sure.

(Engine sputtering)

(Sighing) On.

(Horn honking)

(Car alarm sounding)

(Crow cawing)

(People chattering)

I don't need you to tell me that I
don't have a place to put my stuff.

I know that!

(Phone ringing)
Well, the question is,

where is my stuff that
I don't have anywhere to put?

Lupo. Yeah, yeah, I know.

Tracking numbers
and corporate policy,

but there's a... it's for you.

Yeah, could you
take a message, please?

No. It sounds urgent.

Hang on.

Hello, Jack Carter.

Really?

A ghost. Very mature.

Look, it's very convincing,
but I get it,

haze the new guy, big laughs.
I gotta go.

Hello, yeah.

Hello? You still there?

Oh, come on.

Great. Thank you, Jo.

I think I may have lost my only
chance of getting my stuff back

because I had to take a
crank call about a haunting.

I didn't set that up. Yeah?

I should believe you, why?

Carter, this is a
town full of scientists.

Everyone knows there's
no such thing as ghosts.

(Door opening)

(Footsteps approaching)

(Door closing)

Where is Walter?

You were saying?

CARTER: I'm not sure this will
all get worked out, Mrs. Perkins.

I need to see Walter now.

Walter was obviously trying
to hurt me. And when I...

What? What are
you all staring at?

Sorry if we seem
a little unnerved,

but we just buried you
this morning.

You're unnerved?

My parents called me
in hysterics,

because they got
an invitation to my funeral,

and a message saying that they
had a grandson who needs a home.

Which was all
a big surprise to me,

seeing as how I'm not dead
and I've never had a child.

Yeah, you win.

We're just trying to
figure out what's going on.

Then get Walter in here
and ask him.

You didn't tell her?
I was getting to it.

"Tell her" what? Walter's dead.

Walter's dead?

(Stuttering) Yeah, he sort of,
blew himself up.

Oh, my god.

(Stuttering)
What? You're not joking?

I'm sorry, Susan.

Hold on.

If she's Susan Perkins,
then who did we...

You're staring again.

Yeah, do you mind if I ask
you how you and Walter met?

I was a grad student at mit.
He was a post-doc.

We got married
right after graduation,

and he wanted to start a family,

but I wasn't ready.

One morning
this guy came to the door

and wanted to talk to Walter
about some top-secret job.

He wanted to go,
I wanted to stay.

So we separated.

You do realize we are
gonna have to verify that

so we can sort this thing out.

How long is that gonna take?

I'm not really sure.

It's not like we have
a standard form to undead you.

(Clearing throat)

Tell me you're kidding.

924/b. In triplicate.

We'll still need
to confirm your identity.

How are you gonna do that?
We're gonna do a DNA test.

Oh, we can do better than that.

But we're still gonna
need to do some digging.

Oh, you mean I gotta
go back to the... yes.

Well, someone's gotta get
me a coroner. That's right.

Just do what you have to do.

I just wanna get back
to my normal life.

Yeah, I can relate.

(Sighing)

County coroner, huh?
Board certified.

Pretty cool, huh?

I call it an omniversal remote.

I can run all this equipment
by remote control.

That's super, Henry.
Can we just hurry it up?

I'm not a big fan of cemeteries.

Oh. One too many
romero movies, huh?

One too many funerals.

(Alarm sounding)

Oh! Oh!

That's crazy.

I mean, something's actually
interfering with the frequency.

(Buzzing)

(Dis torted) Pull the batteries!

What?

Pull the battery!

(Alarm stops)

Ought to keep things quiet.

I guess I got
a few more kinks to work out.

Hmm.

Well, just see
if you can get the body

to global dynamics without
alerting the entire town.

I'm going over there now
to see Allison.

Batteries.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

MAN: Global dynamics,
satellite five, online in three.

Global dynamics, satellite
five, online in three.

(Machine starting)

So you met the new director yet?

Not yet. He just arrived.

Global dynamics
is under DARPA jurisdiction

and they get a little crazy
about sharing information.

Hence our visit. What's DARPA?

The defense advanced
research project agency.

It's the central research arm
of the dod.

Okay, so why am I here?

Well, you wanna use
the new molecular bio-scanner

on Susan Perkins' body
and this new woman, right?

Maybe.

Yeah. Well, all requests
to use laboratory resources

for police applications must be
submitted to the director of research.

Who we haven't met yet. Exactly.

Nathan?

Allison. I swear I was
just about to call you.

What are you doing here?
You're not...

Afraid so. You're
moving back to Eureka?

Moved, actually. Yesterday.

Same office, same house.
Surprise!

I probably should've
called sooner. Probably.

You must be the new sheriff
I've heard so much about.

Nathan stark. Jack Carter.

So, you two
used to work together?

I mainly work
with her son Kevin,

but Allie and I had our moments.

Anyway, I was looking
into something

and wanted to know it! Could use
your bio scanner-molecule-thingy.

Of course,
anything I can do to help.

(Clearing throat)
Excuse me, Dr. Stark.

Maggie's taking care
of your parking space

and the new furniture
will be delivered tomorrow.

A lot to catch up on.

Sheriff, it's been a pleasure.
Allison,

it's good to see you.

So you two have a history?

You could say that.

What, ex-boyfriend? Not exactly.

Well, what exactly?
He's my husband.

SUSAN: Thanks for
letting me stay with you.

Just don't tell the sheriff

that I've got
a spare bedroom, okay?

Oh, my god!

What, did you see something?

If you did, there's this form
that I gotta get you to sign, so...

No. It's our house.
Wait. Pull over.

This is your house.
I mean, Susan Perkins' house.

But how did you know?

Before Walter and I split up,

we were planning to
build our dream home.

This is it.

(Exclaiming)
It's exactly the same.

(Exclaiming)

I even picked that wallpaper.

This is unreal!

It's me, but...

But it isn't.

This is their son?

Hey, Susan, maybe this
isn't such a good idea.

This can't be happening.

Kevin.

Honey, five more minutes,
then it's time for bed, okay?

Five minutes.

300 seconds. 7:30 pm.

How does he do that?

Well, his brain just works
differently than other people.

I miss my mom and dad.

I know, honey, it's hard
to lose the people we love.

But, it does get better.

And the important thing to remember
is that they loved you very much.

My mom dropped me at school.

She said
she'd be back to get me,

but she never came.

I know she would've
been there if she could've.

Okay?

Tomorrow's gonna be
a better day.

(Sighing)

(Carter moaning)

(Door opening)

(Hinges squeaking)

Freeze! Don't move!

Evening, sheriff Carter.

Fargo. How...

I thought I locked the door.

(Stuttering)
Yeah, no. It doesn't work.

Sheriff Cobb always
had an open door policy.

(Sighing)

You might wanna be
careful with this.

It's a portable generator.

So? A fission-powered
portable generator.

Okay. Don't sleep on
the nuclear powered device.

Good safety tip.

Fargo, what do you want?
It's 10:30 at night.

Actually, I'm here to help you.

I heard you were looking
for a place to stay,

and I'm involved in

a little project that I think
you may find interesting.

Really?

What kind of project?

Almost there.

Can I open my eyes yet? Okay.

Behold. The home of the future.

Come on!

(Door opening)

All right, watch your step.

(Carter sighing)

I'm going back to my cell.
Oh, come on, sheriff.

Just take a look.

I know she's not much from
the outside, but I promise,

once you get to know
Sarah, you'll love her.

Who's Sarah?

Sarah, open door.

Fargo, I don't know
if this is a good idea...

Lights, moderate.

Music, jazz, soft.

(Music playing)

Fireplace.

SARAH: Welcome.

Okay, what's that?
That was Sarah.

Self-actuated residential
automated habitat.

Sarah for short.

Fargo?

Is that you talking like a girl?

No, it's the smart house.

A state-of-the-art model home

designed to anticipate its
owner's every need and desire.

Of course, it'll take some time

to learn all of
your personal preferences.

Well, my preference right now

is to have a house
that isn't radioactive.

(Snickers) Well, it used to
be a nuclear disaster bunker.

But don't worry, the rad
levels are well within normal.

That's great.

The telecommunications system

is linked directly
to your office.

And the skeleton profile has been
programmed into the mainframe.

Bathroom.

Oh, Fargo, you gotta
get yourself a girlfriend.

There's a 24-hour helpline
if you run into any problems.

Sarah, door.

I'll come check in on you
tomorrow.

Fargo.

If this house is so great,
why is it sitting here vacant?

Sarah, door. Sleep tight.

Oh, no.

(Sighing)

I'm a human Guinea pig.

(Clearing throat)

So, Sarah, is it?

SARAH: That's correct,
sheriff Carter.

Uh-huh.

Can you see me?
Yes, sheriff Carter.

Terrific.

I'm gonna need a drink.

(Clicking tongue)

Okay, where's the fridge?

SARAH: Please, allow me.

There's cold beer
available on tap.

Dr. Fargo says
you like baseball.

I recorded
the Indiana game for you.

Really?

ANNOUNCER:
Top of the eighth inning now

in a tight ballgame, one all,
Martinez to lead off.

(Sighing)

And he jumps on
the first pitch by Henderson,

coffey to field it,

but Martinez is safely aboard
with a single to left to start off...

Sarah, I think this is the
beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Kevin! Brian! Rise
and shine, sleepyheads.

You're gonna be late for school.

Hey, guys, it's time...

Kevin?

Kevin, sweetie, come here.

Did you have a bad dream?

(Alarm ringing)
SARAH: Time to get up!

(Club music playing)

What?

You had 837 hours' sleep.

Yeah, well, that's...
Why are you yelling at me?

Am I talking loud? Yes!

You're talking...

(Exclaiming) Sarah, turn it off!

It doesn't seem
like I'm talking loud.

Sarah!

MAN: Smart house tech support,
how may I assist you?

I'm having
technical difficulties.

Well, I'd be happy
to help you with that, sir.

Can [please have your name?

Fargo, is that you?

(Stuttering) One moment,
sir, while I transfer the call.

Douglas Fargo speaking.

You don't say! Sheriff
Carter, how is everything?

SARAH: Your shower
is ready, sheriff.

Well, your house
is yelling at me.

Hold on.

Well, that's weird.
There's been a power surge.

It reset the clock
and threw off the settings.

(Music playing over phone)

There, is that any better?

SARAH: A perfect 39 megahertz.
Just how you like it.

(Music stops) Yes.

Yeah, thank you.

Now, if we could do
something about the voice.

Sorry, it's temp audio.

Just waiting to hear back from
Sarah Michelle gellar's people.

(Growls)

I don't even know
how to respond to that.

SARAH: Just a reminder.

Susan Perkins' bio-scan,
today, 9:00 am.

I thought this was the bathroom?

It is, sheriff.

Well, see, now
you're just showing off.

What's that?

I have over 200 newspapers
and magazines available,

if you'd like something to read.

Good god! I might never leave.

Sarah, do you mind?

Okay, Mrs. Perkins, we're
ready for your bio-scan.

Now just hold still,
this won't take long.

I'm over here, jackass.

Sorry. Here we go.

CARTER: So now this'll tell us

if the new Susan is identical
to the one that we buried?

HENRY: Even more accurate
than a DNA test.

Allison.

(Sighs)

You okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Nathan and I just
got into it last night,

and Kevin had a nightmare,

he did all these terrifying
ghost drawings and...

(Stuttering) You know,
forget it, it's nothing.

Okay.

So, Kevin isn't stark's son?

But you guys are still married?

You're awfully curious.

I'm a cop, it's my nature.

Look, Nathan and I
separated last year.

We just haven't gotten
down to the final papennork.

What's with the look?
There was no look.

There was a look.
None of my business.

That's right.

HENRY: You're not
gonna believe this.

CARTER: Oh, they're both
Susan Perkins.

Down to the last protein chain.

Chromosomes,
cell differentiation.

I mean all the markers
are identical.

How did you know?

I was reading Walter's
personnel file last night.

Guess what the subject
of his first dissertation was?

Stem cell replication.

Are you saying that
Walter cloned his wife?

Not exactly. Walter
went way beyond cloning.

He recreated Susan cell
by cell as a full-grown adult.

I mean, she may look
30, but chronologically,

those tissues can't be more
than seven years old. Tops.

A year older than her son,
that's creepy.

Susan was right.

Walter wanted a family, with her

or with her.

Memo to file.

All section five projects
seem to be in order.

First priority will be
redoubling all security measures

to avoid similar breaches...

(Metallic clanging)

In security in the future.

Hello?

(Metallic clanging)

Someone there?

(Gasping)

(Groaning)

That's why you collapsed?
An electrolyte imbalance?

I'm just telling you
what the doctors told me.

And they have no idea
what caused it.

Yes. My electrolytes
are out of balance.

Oh, Nathan.

Don't worry, I'm fine.

Who said I was worried?
Wishful thinking.

(Clearing throat)

Yeah.

Susan Perkins is asking for you.

Henry told her about
the whole uber-clone thing.

I have to go deal with this.

I don't think
I'm going anywhere.

Come on. Sheriff.

Talk to you for a sec? Sure.

Yeah, okay. I'll catch up.

Okay.

How you doing, sheriff?

Pretty good. Shouldn't
you be staying in bed?

No. I should be
getting back to work.

I didn't wanna say anything
with Allison still in the room.

Hey, listen, I think
you got the wrong impression.

I saw something.

Something I'd like
to keep between us?

Oh. Oh, okay.

There was an electrical
problem with the computers.

And then I saw something.

A figure.

Are you saying
someone was in your office?

Not someone, something.

It wasn't entirely corporeal.

Corporeal? Physical.

There and not there
at the same time?

(Stuttering) Are you saying
you saw a ghost?

Sheriff, director of research

at the most advanced
scientific facility in the world

doesn't see ghosts.

No. Yeah.

I'll check it out. Thanks.

So, you sleeping with her?

Excuse me?

You said I'd gotten
the wrong impression.

I assumed you were
talking about my wife.

Not that
I have any right to ask.

You're right, you don't.

You're not. But you'd like to.

I'll let you know
if I get anywhere.

With the ghost, I mean. Yeah.

Tell me, Henry,
you're a scientist.

You believe in ghosts?

Well, I believe in energy.

When somebody dies, that
energy has to go somewhere.

So theoretically,
I suppose it's possible. Why?

The topic's come up a few times.

Where are we taking her, anyway?

Cryogenics.

(Electronic voice chattering)

She's gonna be the focus
of a lot of interest.

(Woman chattering)

Wow!

Jeez!

What's the mortality rate
around here?

HENRY:
Twice the national average.

The bigger the science,
the bigger the risks.

But none of these are local.

We have them shipped in
for research.

(Cell phone ringing)

Hello?

SARAH: Hello, sheriff Carter.
It's Sarah.

Sorry, who's this? Your house.

Oh. Um...

I'm waist-deep in bodies
at the moment, so...

Sorry to bother you,

but your wife, Abbey,
called from Los Angeles.

(Exclaiming)

She wanted to let you know that your
daughter, Zoe, didn't come home last night.

(Exclaiming) There's a shocker.

She also said something about

you shirking your responsibilities
as a husband and a father.

I recorded the conversation if
you'd like me to play it back for you.

About the recordings,
no more recordings.

My private life
isn't a reality show.

Whatever you say, sheriff.

Sarah? Yes, sheriff?

Is there a camera in my bedroom?

Certainly. I monitor
all areas of the house

for Dr. Fargo's data collection.

Would you like me
to patch him in?

No. No.

I'll be seeing Dr. Fargo
in person later. Thanks.

Will you be home for dinner?

I guess so.

Wonderful! I'm making pot
roast. Your favorite, right?

Don't be late.

Pretty mind-boggling, huh? Yeah.

Henry, I need to see
a geek about a ghost.

Right this way.

SUSAN: There is something
very wrong with you people.

Believe me, Susan, no one
knew what Walter had done.

I'm as surprised as you are.

Oh, I seriously doubt that.

I think the important thing now

is to decide
where you go from here.

My ex-husband cloned me,

moved her into our dream
house and had a child with her.

Where I'm going is home to
put this insanity behind me.

Yes! I am Susan Perkins.

(People muttering)

Back from the grave.
Everyone take a good look.

You feel better now?
Yeah, a little.

So, listen, your records
have all been cleared.

You can leave anytime you want.

(Stuttering) I just
wish that you would...

I know what you're gonna say.

I appreciate the concern
you have for that boy. Really.

But he's not mine, miss Blake,

and no amount of science
is gonna change that.

I know, but he...
My mind is made up.

I need to go home.

Fine, I'll drive you
back to your car.

CARTER:
Where's the video, Fargo?

I dumped all the
video in the trash.

Please don't hit me.

Where is it?

Carter. What?

What are you, amish?
The computer.

Can you get it back? Sure. Why?

I need you to pull up
the tape from yesterday.

FARGO: No problem.

The surveillance cameras
are on 24/7.

Okay.
A; That stops now.

And B; Pull up
the footage from my bedroom

from around the time
of the power surge.

If this goes on the
Internet, you're a dead man.

What the hell is that?

There was a power surge at my
house that screwed up the computers.

Stark, before he blacked out,

he said that his computers
went haywire, too,

and then he saw a
figure. I'm betting that's it.

I guess that answers
your question about ghosts.

Okay! Freeze it there.

FARGO: That's weird,
it disappeared.

Move it toward, slowly.

It's probably moving too
fast for our eyes to pick it up.

There! Back up.

(Woman chattering on pa)

There's our ghost.

Is that who I think it is?
Unreal.

Now we just got
to find him again.

And how are we
supposed to do that?

That remote of yours,

that's for scanning
electronic frequencies, right?

Yeah.
Do ghosts have frequencies?

Oh. We're gonna
need a bigger battery.

(School bell ringing)

I thought you were
taking me back to my car.

(Children laughing)

I told you, I can't do this.

Susan, look, I know that
this is a lot to handle.

But like it or not,

there is a boy out there
who is biologically your child.

You don't have to
get out of the car,

you don't even
have to talk to him.

But do you really
wanna walk away

without ever even seeing him?

There he is.

I have a son, Kevin.

His father d*ed
right before he was born.

We don't get
many second chances.

(School bell ringing)

Okay.

Mmm-hmm.

I've seen him, can we go now?

(Engine sputtering)

Really, miss Blake, this is...

(Car alarm sounding)

(Horn honking) It's not me.

(Alarm and honking stops)

What...

Oh, my god!

What is that?
My son's nightmare.

(Instructor shouting)

(Children screaming)

Get these kids out of here.

Brian! Get out of here! Get out!

Brian, get out!

(Groaning)

You stay the hell away from him.

Mom! You came back!

Just stay behind me, honey.

And you so help me, you...

Walter?

Walter, is that really you?

Stop! Stark: Don't touch him!

It's okay, Walter.
We're here to help.

BEVERLY: He doesn't seem to
remember much before the accident.

But we may never know
exactly what happened.

How convenient for him.

I don't understand
how this happened.

Walter created a machine that
caused a temporal implosion.

When he tried to fix it,
there was a cascading effect,

and he got caught in the blast.

That sounds like Walter.

Well, we all assumed
that he was dead.

It turned out he'd just been
shunted off into another time stream.

Essentially stuck
between seconds.

This device
should stabilize him.

Why?

I missed you.

I missed you, too, mom.

I know you did.

Can we all go home now?

So what happens now?
Temporal rehabilitation.

What?

Think physical therapy,

but a whole lot more expensive.

I was talking about Susan.

You think she's gonna stay?

For Brian's sake, I hope so.
Yeah. Wow.

I thought my family
was dysfunctional.

STARK: Allison,
can I have a word with you?

I guess I better go. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I got to fill out
a report on this anyway,

and I still don't know how
to spell corporeal, so...

C-o-r-p-o-r-e-a-I.

Get some rest, huh?

And tell your husband
I'm glad he's feeling better.

Yeah. Yeah.

JO: Carter!

(Sighing)

Carter, I'm glad I caught you.

There's something
you should probably know...

Is it life threatening? Huh?

Does it have anything to do
with a hole in time, or clones

or does it have global
consequences? Well, no.

But it's... okay.

Then whatever it is,
it can wait till tomorrow.

Yeah.

You're the boss.

That's right.

I am the boss.

(Banging on door)

Open the door.

SARAH: Due to
technical difficulties,

I cannot visually confirm
identity at this time.

Okay. Okay, listen to my voice.

All right?

It's me, Jack Carter! I'm sorry.

Voice-recognition imprint
is currently offline.

And in the future, when someone
says they'll be home for dinner

and they're running late,
it's polite to call.

You're joking! You're mad at me?

Sorry, but I'm not programmed
for that emotion at this time.

(Grunting)

I'm gonna k*ll Fargo!

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

Now, I promise.

(Door opening)

Sarah, lights,

fireplace, music.

(Music playing)

(Sighing)

SARAH: If you're hungry,
I can reheat dinner.

Oh, no, just...

You know, it! Could just
have a moment to myself.

I've been dealing with other
people's problems all day,

and, you know, I'd really like
a couple minutes of peace.

All you had to do was ask.

(Motor whirring)

Oh!

(Exclaiming)

Yeah.

(Banging on door)

Just a minute.

I swear, if this is
another Susan Perkins.

Listen, I don't
mean to be rude...

Hi, dad!

You know, your yard
needs a lot of work.

Turns out it couldn't wait
till tomorrow.

Have a good night.

Sweet pad. Where's my room?