02x07 - Labels/Game Show/Fantastic Boyage

[bunniefuu]

My chair.

My chair.

My chair!

Ooh.

And nowthe puppet pals show...

Right after these
commercial messages.

Stupid commercials.

I love commercials.

Hey,
what's that?

What's she wearing?

[Whispering]
Puppet pals jeans.

Punk.

Ha ha ha!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Hey, puppet pal
clem.

Those are sure
sexy jeans.

Thanks, puppet pal
Mitch.

You also look hot
in your jeans.

Girls: I'll say!

Man: You know it's puppet pals

because of the name
on the label.

Yeah! Go, puppet pals.
Go, puppet pals.

Dee Dee, what are you
doing to my chair?

Your chair?

My chair.

Your chair?

My chair!

I don't see
your name on it.

So?

So it doesn't
belong to you.

My popcorn!

Your popcorn?
I don't see your name
on this piece...

Or this piece...

Or this piece...

Or any of these
pieces.

[Ticking]

[Ding]

Ooh.

Dexter: Release
my waffle!

I don't see
your name on--

it.

It is with this hand
that I begin to label
my waffle.

It is with this hand
that I finish
labeling my waffle.

See?

Dexter, Dexter,
Dexter.

Oh, hi, doggie.

Come back here.

Dexter,
what are you doing?

Merely labeling
my possessions.

Retxed? What are you,
an idiot?

That's not your name.

It's backwards,
dummy.

Now out of my way.
I have more labeling to do.

Hmm.

My pickles. My mayonnaise.

Dee Dee:
Hey, label boy.

Yah!

Aah!

Dee Dee?

Aah!

Don't touch
any of my food, now.

Aha! She missed one.

[Slosh slosh]

Doh!

Computer, display specifications
on Dee Dee's labeler.

How quaint and obsolete.

Let's modify.

Ah, yes. This should work.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Sizzle]

Dexter, is that you?

Ho ho ho!

Aah!

Ha ha!

Raggedy doll!

Yah ha ha ha!

[Panting]

Oh, Dee Dee.
Dee Dee, where are you?

Hmm. If you are not
down here,

perhaps you are
upstairs in your room.

Oh, darbie.

Thank goodness
you're still mine.

No!

Dexter!

Dexter!

Yah!

[Panting]

The dog!

[Barking]

Wah ha ha!

Nice try, sister.
However, victory is--

oh, no! I have been labeled!

It won't come off.

[Barking]

Dexter, Dee Dee.

The Dee Dee's
knocked over,

the Dexter's
off the hook,

and did anyone
walk the Dexter?

Who's responsible?

Um, Dee Dee is.

Ha ha ha.

No, please.
It's me--Dexter,

not Dee Dee.

No!

Now stay
in your room, Dee Dee.

Play with
your Dexters
or something.

Honey, why is
the carpet all wet here?

Announcer:
It's the game show

where families feud
and homes are wrecked.

Welcome tosibling rivalry!

[Cheering]

Let's meet
our contestants.

A daughter, a sister,
and a lover of pink,
say hello to Dee Dee!

[Cheering]

And our next contestant--
a thinker, a brother,

and a lad whose enormous
intellect barely fits
in the studio,

say hello to Dexter!

[Cheering]

Here's the host
ofsibling rivalry,

Trevor twinkle!

Hey, hey, hey, everyone!
Welcome tosibling rivalry,

the world's stickiest,
goopiest, gooiest game
show.

Let's say howdy
to our contestants.

Now, Dee Dee,
Dexter's your brother,
right?

Yeah.

And, Dexter,
Dee Dee is in fact

your sister,
am I right?

Affirmative.

Gnarly!

Gnarly!

Like any brother and sister,

I'm sure there are times
when you don't get along,
times when you fight.

Here onsibling rivalry,
you can turn those petty
differences

into fabulous prizes.

Johnny, tell them
what they'll be

playing for today.

Johnny: Sure thing, Trevor.

Our winner today will have
a choice between a two-ton
flying pink pony

complete with heart tattoo...

Ooh.

Or this fabulous xk-
radioactive isotopically
driven
extendo telescope--

the same kind
the astronauts use.

Wow!

Let's go over
the rules of the game.

I don't need to go
over the rules.

I watch this show
all the time.

And I'll bet your brother
watches just as much
as you, right?

That's a big
negatory,
good buddy.

I find this show
to be mentally
oppressive,

emotionally
depressive,

and intellectually
offensive.

I'm just here
for the telescope.

That, too,
is also gnarly.

That, too,
is also--

silence!

I have no time
for this foolishness.

I am here to
correctly answer

some silly
game-show questions

so I can win
the telescope.

Now if you will
kindly proceed
with the inquiry,

I can get out of here.

I do have
a schedule to keep.

Isn't he cute, folks?

Aw.

You're right, Dexter.
We do have
a question-and-answer round,

but if you watched
the show more often,

you'd know that
it comes after
the physical challenge round.

Let's play the game.

Aah!
Aah!

[Crowd cheering]

Dee Dee, Dexter,
welcome to the physical
challenge arena.

Let's play
our first event.

Dexter, you'll notice
a basket of cream puffs
next to you.

The object
of this event is to--

there. I have completed
your insane task.

Can we now have
the questions?

Sorry, Dexter,
but if you'd watched
the show more often,

you'd know that you're
supposed to throw
cream puffs

at your opponent
without touching the apple.

Now it's Dee Dee's turn.

Nice sh*t.

[Ding]

[Cheering]

♪ Hmm hmm

time for
our next challenge.

Well, Dexter,
you lost the last round,

but maybe
you could still win

Baton battle!

I should warn you,
Dee Dee,

I am highly skilled
in many forms of self--

defense.

Gooey!

[Ding]

♪ Hmm hmm

now it's time
for our last
physical challenge--

the obstacle course.

Simply collect
all the flags
and get more points.

And then the questions?

If you survive.

With my secret
jet boots,

I can collect
all the flags
in no time.

Malfunction!

♪ Ta da

[ding]

♪ Hmm hmm

and now, Dexter...

Oh, boy!

It's time for...

Oh, boy!

The question-
and-answer round.

Oh, boy!

Who has to go
to the bathroom?

All: I do.

Whoever wins
this round

will receive
points.

The category is--
oh, great--

science
and technology.

Question one.

Dexter: Pardon me.
I have taken
the Liberty

of preparing
a list of answers

to any and all questions
that could conceivably
be in this category.

I think you will find
that they are all correct.

Every answer is right.

[Ding]

Oh, boy! I win!

Yes, but because
you got all
the answers...

You must be
a geek!

And you know
what that means!

Geek award!

I hate this show.

And since
the score is tied,

it's time
for our tiebreaker
question.

You each write down
what you think the
other's going to say.

The question is, what's
your favorite thing
in the whole world?

Dee Dee, what's
Dexter's favorite
thing?

Easy. His secret
laboratory.

Right.

[Ding]

Dexter, what's
Dee Dee's
favorite thing?

Um...uh...

[Buzzer rings]

Trevor: Time's up.

My favorite thing
is my brother
Dexter.

Aw.

[Crying]

Dee Dee.

Well, Dexter,
since you didn't
get any points

on the last
question, Dee Dee
wins the game!

[Cheering]

Crowd: Dee Dee! Dee Dee!

But what about--

me?

Well, Dee Dee,

since you're
our winner,

which prize
do you want?

Will it be
the flying pony

or the
scientific
telescope?

I better go
horse-proof the lab.

Um, I'll take
the telescope.

[Cheering]

Huh?

Huh?

Oh, thank you
for winning me
the telescope.

I promise you can
come into the lab
anytime and look at it--

not touch it,
of course, but--

thanks for
the hug, Dexter,

but I didn't
get it for you.

I got it
for me.

For you? What could you
possibly use it for?

Dee Dee:
Hi, Dexter.

Dee Dee, cease
this foolishness
for the last time.

I see you.

Dexter, want to see
my new dance?

No.

It's called
the fanciful unicorn.

Girl, I have seen
better steps on a ladder.

Oh, yeah? Like
you know any dances,
Dexter.

[Music playing]

Yes. It is called
the robot.

Word.

[Ringing]

[Coughing]

Dee Dee.
[Ruff ruff]

What is it, girl?

[Ah-choo]

[Ah-choo]

Mother, father,
I have conducted

a thorough examination
of your daughter,

and before a diagnosis
is made,

we must first consider
the symptoms.

Note the inflammation
of the optic orbs,

the abnormal viscosity
of mucous membranes,

the rapid depressurization
of the sinus cavity.

[Ah-choo]

Apparently the dog
has also been infected.

I submit to you
that the cause can be

none other than
the common cold. Hmm.

Announcer: First prize
in the category
of medical genius,

Dexter, for defeating
the common cold.

♪ Isn't he brilliant?

Thank you for coming.
You're very kind.

Dee Dee needs
a lot of rest now.

Mom and dad: Bye, pumpkin.

Dee Dee, I have
a proposition for you.

No!

If you would allow me
to shrink myself down

to a microbiotic state
and enter your bloodstream
intravenously

so that I might
track down and conquer
the common cold.

No!

But why?
No!

But you could be--
no!

But I would be--
no!

Stupid Dee Dee
doesn't want to advance
medical science.

Won't even let me
conquer the common cold.

So lazy. Doesn't
have to do anything.

Wait a minute. She doesn't
have to do anything.

I'll do everything.

Computer, begin testing
sequence for subatomic
matter-reducing shrink ray.

[Trumpeting]

Excellent.
Ha ha ha!

Robot, once the atomic
exploration unit and I

are in subatomic status,
you are to transport us
into Dee Dee's bloodstream.

Do you understand?

Cookie.

Cookie, cookie,
cookie.

Cookie.

Ah.

Cookie, cookie,
cookie.

Cookie!

[Yelp]

Ah. Success.

Aah!

Aah!

Ooh.

Digestive system inhabited
by parasitic worms?

More data is required
before pursuing
the cold virus.

Mm-hmm. Heartbeat normal.

Neuron configuration normal.

Brain size normal.

Oh! Dee Dee's
optic receptors.

Let's have a look.

Oh, poor Dee Dee.

Ew. I can't watch.

Hmm. Interesting.

Wait a minute.

Dee Dee has been infected
by a canine virus.

What luck! A completely
unprecedented medical event

here for the taking.

I'll be famous
for sure now.

Computer, scan the subject
for the location
of the virus.

Set a course immediately.

I'm taking it alive.

Well, hon, check out
the light show.

I don't know,
honey.

He doesn't look
so good.

I'm calling
the vet.

Female computer voice:
Dexter, sensors indicate

a large concentration
of viruses directly ahead.

Dexter: Millions of
bloodthirsty viruses.

The crushing walls
of a powerful sphincter.

Low supply of fuel
and oxygen.

I like them odds.

Got to time it
just right.

Dexter: Ha ha ha ha!

Darn big!

Ha ha ha!

Hoo hoo ha!

Uh! Uh! Mere seconds
until I am smashed to bits

on the sinus wall ahead.

If only I can--

hey, nobody destroys
my inventions.

Hoo hoo ha ha ha!

[Doorbell rings]

Did somebody call
a veterinarian?

What now,
boy genius?

What? DNA?

Yes! DNA. Of course.

The building blocks
of life.

By rearranging
the basic genetic
information,

I can change it
into any form I want.

Dexter: Victory
will be mine!

Oh, my. Would you
look at that?

Almost got it.

Uh-oh. Better
get out quick.

Now you are mine.

Yes. Now to present
my discovery to the world.

Hmm. You seem
to be fine now.

Huh?

Hello there.

Wait! Stop, you fool.

Stop! My virus!
My destiny!

Allow me to present
my new discovery
to the world--

the first case
of a human virus
infecting a canine friend.

[Applause]

Enter at your own peril,
past the vaulted door,

where impossible things
may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab