02x24 - Dexter's Lab: A Story/Coupon for Craziness/Better Off Wet

[bunniefuu]

[Ruff]

Aw, heh heh!
Hello there.
You startled me.

[Ruff ruff]

[Panting]

Heh heh! Nice doggy.

Ah ah ah. You don't need
to be following me.

[Ruff]

Blah!

[Ruff]

Hey, what are you
doing in my lab?

This is a highly
scientific area.

What am I gonna--

[Dee Dee laughing]

Dee Dee,
how many times
have I told you

to stay out of
my freaking secret
laboratory?

I'm not kidding around!
I want you out of here!

[Ruff ruff]

Yeah, that's it!
That's right!
That's it, boy!

Go get her, boy.
Sic 'em.

[Woof]

Aw, you want this stick?

Is that it?
You want the stick?

Then you get
the stick, ok.
Fetch the stick.

Oh ha ha!

Look at you.

Aw, you are a good dog.

What a good stick fetcher
you are. Yes, you are.

Dee Dee: I don't have to
stick around for this.

Yes, you got that stick,
didn't you?

Now you wait right there,
puparoo,

and I'll be right back
with a nice treat.

Dexter? Dexter, son,
are you in here?

Father: Holy smokes,
how did this lab get here?

Dexter...this lab
is unbelievable.

Um, yeah. Ah ha ha!
Dad, I can explain.

Dexter, how long
have you been keeping

this lab
a secret from me?

'Cause i'm
just crazy about
labrador retrievers!

They're such
good doggies.

Yes, they are.

Oh, the dog. Right.
Phew.

Oh ho ho!

He reminds me
of old buck back
on granddad's farm.

So are you
gonna keep him?

Well, I don't know.
A dog is a lot of
responsibility.

I'd have to
feed him and walk him
and take care of him.

I just--i don't know
if I'm ready for that.

Well, then,
that settles it.

He's all yours, son,
you lucky stiff.

But i--i--

father: Oh, gosh,
I just love labradors.

[Door closes]

Hey, thanks.

Heh heh. Thank you.

Ok, thank you.

All right, all right.
Thank you.

Grr!

Thank you!

Ok, enough licking.
Stop the licking.
Stop. Please stop.

[Munch]

Grr!

[Ruff ruff]

What? What is it?

Is there trouble?
Is it danger?

You want me
to follow you?

Ok, show me.
Where is the emergency?

[Ruff ruff]

What is it, boy?
The capacitor?

What is wrong
with the capacitor?

Nothing's wrong with
the capacitor.

What is it?

What?

Whatever...

Boy, this dog
is not understanding
what I'm telling him.

I know not what
of which he is speaking.

If only he could-a speak-a
the simple English.

Hmm?

Here you go, boy.

This pill I have created

should stimulate
your brain's
neural pathway,

enabling you to
translate and enunciate
human speech.

[Slurp]

[Gulp]

Well, does it work?

Hello, dog. Do you
understand me?

Yes.

Yay! It worked!
You can talk!
You can talk!

I can talk!
I can talk! Hey!

What?

The thing.

Huh?

Come on. I got to
show you the thing.

Oh, yeah, the thing
that you were trying
to tell me.

Yah! The thing!
Here's the thing!

Right. The capacitor.
What is wrong with it?

It's a thing.
I--i found a thing.

What about it?

It's here, the thing!
I found the thing,
and here it is!

Here's the thing!
Right here! A thing!

Dinnertime!

[Sniffing]

So, Dexter,
where's your new buddy?

Oh! Well,
hello down there.

Hey, it's the man
from before.

Ah!

This one's a lady!

Well, he certainly
is friendly.

Woo!

Yeah, a little
too friendly.

It's the stick!

Mother:
There you go,
Dee Dee.

Hey, food! Food for me!
Food for me!

Ew! Get lost!

Food for me?
Food for me?

Now, now.
No chicky and ricey
for the puppy.

Food for me?
Food for me?

Dexter, I think your buddy
is trying to tell us
he's hungry.

Why don't you
take him upstairs
and feed him?

I already fed him.

Now, didn't we have a talk
about responsibility today?

We? Who's we?

Take your buddy
upstairs!

Yeah, but--

dog: Hey! Hey, you dogs!
Hey, I can hear you barking!

I'm a dog!
Can you hear me barking?

Hey, dogs, listen to me!
I can hear you!

Hey! Hey! Hey, you!

Moon! Moon! Mo-o-o-o-on!

The sun's up!

Hey, the sun is up!
Get up! Get up!
Sun's up!

You're up! Sun's up!
Let's go out!

The sun's up.
Want to go out?
Let's go out!

The sun's up!
[Sniff sniff]

What's that?
What's that?

It's you! It's you!
It's you!

And you're not my dog!

That means somebody
is looking for you.

And I can only pray
that they call soon.

[Ring]

Hello. Yes, yes,
I found the dog.

The dog is here.
Yes, he's here.

Ok, yeah! Good! Ok!

[Doorbell rings]

Hey, that's my dog!
I found my dog!

Hey, that's my man!
I found my man!

Together:
I found you!
I found you!

Let's go for a ride.
You want to go
for a ride?

Yeah, a ride.
Let's go for a ride.

Let's go
for a ride!

Hmm...

Eee! Double fudge
fluffer nutters.

Double fudge
fluffer nutters?

Double fudge
fluffer nutters...

Coupon!

Yay!
Yay!

Ooie gooey
chewy kablooies!

Ooie gooey
chewy kablooies!

Ooie gooey
chewy kablooies...

Coupon!

Yay!
Yay!

I've had just about
enough of this.

When you people are
done embarrassing yourselves,

you can find me
at the magazine rack.

Family:
Yay!

I'm telling you,

the left one is
proportionately larger
than the right.

Well, it's a good thing
I brought my fresh produce
volume indicator.

Hold 'em up.

Let's see.

Take the square
of the hypotenuse,

multiply
the circumference
of a radius cubed.

According to
my calculations,

the left one is indeed
larger than the right.

Then the left one
it is.

Celebrate.
Celebrate.

[Raspberry]

Cookies, cookies,
cookies.

Dextor, if you're not going
to participate seriously
in the science of shopping,

then go wait for us
at the magazine rack.

Dextor: Comics, comics, comics,
comics, comics, comics.

It's amazing
how the gene pool always
deals you a wild card.

[Laughing and gurgling]

Time to go, Dexter.

Time to go, dextor.

[Car door opens and closes]

[Car door opens and closes]

Ah, time to get my hands
on one of those cookies.

What the--

aah!

Help! Help!
I have been kidnapped!

Aah! Help!
Call the--

wow! Who put this
stupid computer in my way?

Whoa!

An x supercomputer

with dual
modulating sequences.

Charts and graphs
showing the ebb and flow
of laboratory output?

Who? A fleet of highly
specialized robotic life forms?

Mother: Dextor,
how many times
have I told you,

no running
in the house?

Ahh...

[Beeping]

Perfect.

What has gotten
into you, son?

Son?

Ah! And they think
I'm their son!

Mom, dad,
I love you!

But if I am here,
where is their real son?

Hi. I'm Dee Dee.
Who are you?

I'm dextor.

Hey, mom,
can dextor and I
have a cookie?

Ok, but just one.
I don't want you
spoiling your dinner.

Here.

I'm not supposed
to have sweets.

I'm hyperactive.

Woo!

Here!

The poor sap.
I bet Dee Dee is
driving him crazy.

Now, dextor,
I know how much you hate it,

but it's now time
in the schedule

for your keyboard
stroke practice.

Hate it?
What are ya, crazy?

I lov--i mean,
oh, yeah, I hate-a that stuff.

[Cracks knuckles]

[Beeping]

Aah!

Oh, mommy! Wah!

Why the interruption,
dextor?

Mommy, I hurt
my widdle finger.

Would you kiss it

and make it
to feel better?

You need to have
the joint reset,

the wound sterilized,
stabilized, cauterized,
and wrapped

to keep out infection.

Kisses cannot do that.

May I have
something-a sweet
to snack on?

No, no, dextor,
this is pamphlet reading hour.

And besides, no sweets.
You know you're hyperactive.

Argh...

I'm tired of
reading pamphlets.

Can't I go watch
action Hank

no, dextor.
You still have minutes
of pamphlet reading left.

TV! TV! TV! TV!

Ahh...bedtime.

Now to wait for my new dad
to come and tuck me in

and read me a bedtime story.

And then goldilocks said,
"this one is just right."

Story, story,
story, story, story!

Mother:
Dextor, it's morning
nutrient intake period.

Ah, yech.

Oh, what the heck
is this?

Partially dehydrated
soybean curd,

reconstituted
wheat germ extract,

all your daily
vitamins and minerals

in easy-to-swallow
capsules of chewable juice.

Enjoy.

That's it!

That was the straw
that broke my back!

I can understand the
not kissing my finger.

And I can understand
no sweets and no TV.

I'll even let
the bedtime story slide.

But what are you
trying to do serving
meth

well, that one's
actually your lunch.

Lunch?
I'll show you lunch!

Now, I don't mean
to be insubordinate...

The schedule.

A boy needs moderate allotments
of mind-rotting television,

a bedtime story
before being tucked into bed,

and most importantly,
food that is prepared
with love and tenderness,

not some freeze-dried
and vacuum-sealed thing.

A kid needs to act like a kid
and not adhere to
a strict schedule.

That's nice, dextor,

but thanks to
your father's
quick thinking,

we're only off schedule
minutes.

Dexter's mother: Coupon!

Yay!

My family!

Hey, look, it's
the fairs-lupiter comet.

Psst!

Triple chunk sticky gunk
double dunks!

Triple chunk sticky gunk
double dunks!

Mother: Coupon!

Yay!
Yay!
Yay!

Cookie! Cookie!

Where did he locate
that confection?

Dextor,
come down from there!

Come down.
Listen to your mother.
Put down that cookie.

Whatcha doin'?

Reading up
on animal biology.

I bet I know more
about animals than you!

Aw, you think?

Yep.

Ok, why are
storks' legs so long?

So their feet
can reach the ground.

Why do kangaroos
only live in Australia?

So they can be near
their families.

Did you know deers
don't have uncles?

They just have antlers.

Cha cha cha cha cha!

[Snoring and whistling]

Dee Dee: Hey, Dexter,
last one in the pool's
a rotten egg!

Aw, raspberries.
I'll get in the pool
at my own pace,

then I'll be
in complete control.

[Crash]

Hmm...now,
where was I going?

Pool!

[Sandals squishing]

Yay!

Hurry up, Dexter!

I am-a not ready yet.

[Knees creaking]

Mother: Dexter...

Ready to get wet?

Almost.

Hi, Dexter!

Dexter, ready
to get in the water?

Aw, that's ok, son.
These things take time...

And your time is up.

[Whistling]

Whoops!
Dropped my keys.

That's all right.
I got 'em.

Ha ha ha!

Hiya, dad!

What?

Well, son, are you
gonna stand there
all day looking at it,

or are you going
for a swim?

Wah!

Dexter?

Dexter?

Whew.

Come on in, Dexter.
The water's great.

Ok, mom!

Both:
Hey, Dee Dee, we're here!

Hi, girls!
Come on in!

Boy, they sure
are talented.

You said it.

Boo.

Aah!

Ow!

Ah!

Ooh!

Whew!

Darn! I just can't
get that kid.

Oh, well.

[Humming]

[Running footsteps]

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Ahh...i feel
better now.

Dee Dee: Hey,
pick on someone
your own size.

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Yes!

Ha ha!

Boy, Dee Dee,
you almost got me
that time,

but I guess I'm too
smart for you, huh?

Ha ha ha!

[All laughing]

Hooray!

Good job, son.

You finally made it
in the pool.

Dexter:
Thanks, dad.

I don't know why
I was so shy of
the water.

[All laughing]

into the tomb of peril,

past the vaulted door,

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab