02x28 - Old Flame/Don't Be a Hero/My Favorite Martian

[bunniefuu]

[Bubbling]

Success!

Thank you. Thank you.
And, of course,

my sincerest thanks
to everyone

that made
this project possible.

Thank you, beaker.

Thank you, clamp.

Thank you,
mysterious chemicals.

Thank you, computer.

And last, but not least,

I would like to thankfire.

Ah, fire.
Just think...

All of man's
greatest advancements,

all of man's industrial
accomplishments,

all our
technological progress,

all stem from
the discovery of fire.

[Sighs]

Oh, how wonderful
it would be

to jump back in time

and meet
the amazing caveman

that first harnessed
the power of fire.

[Deep voice]
Primal genius

[normal voice]
Meets modern genius--

hanging out,
comparing notes.

[Sighs]

Duh! Time machine!

[Buzzing]

[Growling]

[Growling]

[Growling]

[Groans]

[Growling]

[Sighs]

[Groans]

[Growls]

Oh.

Ah.

[Yells triumphantly]

[Mastodon trumpets]

Huh?

[Yells]

All: Oh.

Ooh. Ha.

[Chuckling]

[All muttering]

[Buzzing]

Salutations, Mr. Caveman.
My name is Dexter
from the future,

and I have come
to personally thank you
for discovering fire

and single-handedly
inventing science.

So come with me.
I invite you to catch
a glimpse of tomorrow.

I am so very glad
you could come.

There are so many things
I want to show you,

all kinds of marvelous
science and invention
and tools and technologies,

all of which you sparked
with your little flame,
so I bid you welcome.

[Deep voice]
Welcome to Dexter's laboratory.

[Beeping]

Well, what do you think?

Aah!

So much for the tour.

Computer,
seal off all exits!

Deploy recon probe droids.

Begin infrared scanning.

[Buzzing]

Be gentle.
He is a genius.

[Buzzing]

[Rumbling]

[Screams]

[Beeping]

Probe malfunction
in sector ?

Hmm.

[Tires screeching]

[Groans]

[Panting]

[Engine accelerating]

Oh, my goodness.

There you are.
Thank heavens you're all right.

I was afraid
you had gotten lost

or hurt yourself
or something.

[Growls]

[Growling]

Aah!

Aah! Whoa! Aah!

Hiya, Dexter.
Who's your friend?

He's a crazy,
mad caveman!

Ooh!

Ooh.

Aa-aah!

Aa-aah.
Ha ha.

[Imitates monkey]

[Speaking
native language]

He's nice.

You mean,
you can communicate
with him?

Sure.

Of course.
I should have guessed

your primitive
linguistics
would be compatible.

That means
we can finish
touring the lab.

That is, if you'll
be my translator,
Dee Dee.

Ok.

Marvelous.
Let's begin.

The wonders of the modern
scientific facility

are vast
and all-encompassing.

Blah, blah.
Blah, blah...

[Chuckles]

Many techniques
and approaches are applied.

Here, in the alternative
power center,

I have employed
a series

of flux capacitors
like this one

at every integral
power junction,

thereby regulating
the flow...

...and there
you have it.

The pinnacle of
scientific achiev--
huh?

Dexter: Dee Dee,
what are you doing?

You haven't been translating
a word I've said!

I just wanted to inspire

the world's first genius
a little, you know.

Maybe he'd feel like
inventing a wheel or something,

but instead, I find

you're rotting his mind
with silly games.

But--

nope, this
just isn't working.

I had better
send you home now

before Dee Dee pollutes
your intellect
any further.

[Whirring]

Gee, Dexter, why you
always got to ruin
everybody's fun?

Me ruin?

Girl, you really
burn me up!

[Whooshing]

[Announcer reading
cartoon captions]

[Crash]

[Alarms sound]

[Sirens]

[Whoosh]

Dexter:C'est magnifique.

Boy, those
major glory comics

really get me choked up!

I guess that means

I can call my comic book
super entertainment
system a success.

Oh, what a surprise!

How is it that
some people have the luck

of receiving super powers
from some unfortunate
lab expl*si*n or something

and then
get to save the world?

Meanwhile, I've had this lab
for years and years,

and nothing cool
has happened.

[Computer beeping]

I have to make

some super powers of my own.

Computer, show me
the recipe for super speed.

Computer:
Super speed formula
displayed.

That's it!

To work sector !

Ok, super speed,
come to papa.

[Boom]

[Skidding]

[Coughing]

Well, that wasn't too bad.

Kids, lunch is ready!

Last one there's a rotten egg!
Last one there's a rotten egg!

We'll see
who's the rotten egg.

And away we go!

[Dexter skidding]

Dexter's mother: Huh.

[Skidding]

Yay! I won!

[Dexter skidding]

Ha ha! You're
a rotten egg!

[Dexter grumbling]

Super speed stinks.

Computer,
show me an alternative.

Perhaps,
a human insect mutation
would be a better choice.

Hmm. I'll take it.

To work sector !

Ah, a perfect
spidery specimen!

Add one radioactive beam.

That should do it.

Oh, my gosh! No!

Quick!
Insect defibrillator!

Clear!

Nothing! Try again!

Clear!

Come on!
Don't give up on me, you!

Clear!

Ah, whew.

[Nervously]
A bit closer.

A bit closer.

Go on.

Hey, bite me.

Ah, you get back here!

Come here, you!

[Whistling]

Specimen!

Light beam!

Yes!

Ow.

[Groaning]

[Screaming]

Cool. Perhaps now
I'll see what's on the tube.

Man: Oh, boy.

This one's going
to be good. I got
a special feeling.

Oh, just in time
for the early movie.

I think I'll use my web powers
to get a better view.

That's better.

Ah, this is the life.

Because of
my buggy agility,

they'll never sense
my presence.

Oh, honey,
it's a little stuffy
in here.

Could you
turn on the fan?

You got it,
little lady.

[Click]

[Actress
screaming]

There's something
in my hair.

Oh, gosh!
It's hideous!

Get it out!
Get it out!

I know
what to do.

[Moaning]

Ah, it was
just a bug.

[Panting]

Computer:
Ok. Ok.

Try the power of
underwater communication.

Do it up.

I am Dexter,
super-powered
boy genius.

Would you like to
help me fight crime
to save the world?

Uh, thanks,
but I'm ok
just exploring

the mysteries
of the fake sunken ship.

Computer: Why not try
the elemental force of rock?

Why not?

Computer:
Ice is good.

Seems simple enough.

Ice up.

[Chattering]

Computer: Maybe
the power over fire
would be a better option.

Fire on!

[Screams]

Fire off! Fire off!

[Thud]

[Sizzling]

Why don't you try--

no. I'm sick
of super powers.

I know
when I am beaten,

and I'm happy just
to be plain old genius boy.

Who wants to be
a super hero anyway?

You can't drive a car,
you have to wear stupid tights.

No. I'm not one.

Hi, Dexter!

Dee Dee, get out
of my laboratory!

Ok. All right!

[Whooshing]

Crime fighting,
here I come!

I, the evil mathemagician,
shall capture all the children

and force them
to do homework forever.

Announcer: Just then...

Major glory!

You asked for it!

Ah, ah, ah.
No v*olence
in schools.

Hmm, you're right,
but there is
one way to stop you!

No! Not justice fruit pies,
a delicious treat you'd
have to be crazy to hate.

Ooh, I give up.

Thanks to major glory.

[Muffled]
Don't thank me.
Thank fustice fruit fies.

What?

I said...
[Mumbling] Oh!

[Laughing]

Computer,
access X-ray.

[Buzzing]

Computer: Dexter,
this martian sediment

contains a fossilized
single-cell organism.

So, there was
life on Mars,

and, perhaps,

that life has evolved
into an intelligent
life form,

which inhabits

the various regions
of Mars today.

And I, Dexter,
boy genius,

will be the first
to make the discovery.

Computer: Dexter,
your hypothesis

is purely
speculative
in theory.

In fact, the chances
of intelligent life on
the planet Mars are...

, , to .

Never tell me
the odds.

[Fizzling]

Mmm, mmm, candy!

Mmm, yummy,

yum, yum, yum.

Computer: Cargo
loading completed.

Computer, set coordinates
for the Mars system.

Estimated time
to launch:
seconds...

, .

[Radar beeping]

Now to find
some intelligent life.

[Chomping]

Mmm!

[Slurping]

Ooh, I don't feel so good.

[Radar beeping]

Hey, what's
that over there?

Ooh, looks like a rock.

[Buzzing]

[Beeping]

Aliens.

Greetings.
My name is--

hi, Dexter!

[Thud]

You know my name?

You must have

some kind of
telepathic abilities.

He thinks
I'm a martian.

[Laughing]

Yeet beep.
Yat, dap, dup.

Hmm.

Ah!

[Clears throat]

[Slowly]
I am...

From the planet--

[screams]

[Chattering]

[Ding]

That must have been

the martian way
of saying hello.

Nettup.

On earth,

we greet one another
by shaking hands.

Go on. Grab it.

That's it.

Almost.

There. You see,
that wasn't so bad.

Now if you'll
accompany me
to the spacecraft.

[Squeaking]

Dee Dee: Whee!

[Crash]

My ship!

Ya, dup, deechoo.

My discovery.

Now to be famous
in the eyes of science.

Come on.
In you go!

Dexter:
Fellow scientists,

behold the first
intelligent life form

ever to be discovered
from the planet Mars.

Scientists: Ooh.

Man: Amazing.
Simply amazing.

Woman: Incredible.
Well done, Dexter.

[Scientists applauding]

Congratulations.

His greatest
discovery

in the field
of science.

Better send it
through the hydrowash

to ensure against
any spread of foreign bacteria.

[Buzzing]

Thanks for
the shower, guys.

Hey, wise guy,
what are you trying to pull?

What?

Hmm.

You look just like
my sister Dee Dee,

which means
my sister is a martian!

Ee mork ork.

Ha ha. Now that
explains everything.

enter
at your own peril

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab