03x04 - Roadkill

[bunniefuu]

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe miles ♪

♪ Where there's good and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ And a dash of heebie-jeebies ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[jazz music plays]

[lively baroque music plays]

[yawns, grunts]

[moans]

[souls wailing]

Ah, beautiful day.

[souls continue wailing]

Ooh! Don't mind if I do.

[Stickler clears throat] Excuse me.

Henchman, bring more donuts.

And as for you…

[electricity buzzing]

Still wearing the invisible
impenetrable sweater, I see.

I come with news
from the annual ledger review.

[Devil] Thrill me, Stickler.

Apparently you have not collected
a single soul in months.

Yeah. There's more
to life than work, Stickler.

Now, if you don't mind,
I'm trying to start my day.

[groans]

[clattering]

[groans]

What was that?

That is one of the Bubbles of Failure.

They will entomb everything you cherish.

Your bed,

your coffee mug,

your paintings.

Aw…

And why is that, exactly?

To encourage soul collection.

No new souls, no access to belongings.

This is an outrage!

Who instituted this miserable policy?

You did.

I did?

Yes.

I did?

Yes.

I did?

Yes.

Oh.

Well, you have to admit,
that is pretty evil. [chuckles]

Per Clause B subsection C…

Uh, Boss?

…you must collect a single soul
within one business day.

If you fail,

[licks]

all assets will remain permanently seized.

Fine. I'll use this opportunity
to finally get that cup's soul.

Obtaining any soul
will satisfy the requirements.

I'm getting the cup's soul,
and that's the end of it.

Your hubris will be your downfall.

Ah! My pitchfork!

[bell rings]

[Devil] My elevator!

Now how am I supposed
to get to the surface world?

Looks like someone is taking the stairs.

Oh right. The stairs.

[ominous music plays]

[music intensifies]

Ugh.

[grumbling] That fathead Stickler…

[lively jazz plays]

[both laughing]

Boys, wait!

Out of the way, goat.

When will you be back from the movies?

[whispers] How about
when he quits being so clingy?

Uh, we'll be gone for a while.
It's a… double feature.

Actually, Mugman,
it's a double double feature.

Remember?

Oh, right.

Oh. Well, let me give you a lift.

Wait right there. Just gotta get my keys.

[Devil groans]

[Devil grunting]

[panting]

[retches]

[sighs, squeals]

[inhales deeply]

Now, where is that stupid cottage?

Youch!

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow?

[screams] Yeow-whoo-hoo-hoo!

[upbeat music plays]

Boys! I got the keys.

Boys?

Oh. Must've gotten a head start.

Oh, consarn it!

[lively jazz plays]

[grunting]

[groans]

[nervous chuckle]

A little help?

Youch!

[Cuphead] Come on, faster!
He's gaining on us!

[gasps] That's the cup!

[both panting]

Ha!

[tires screech]

[Elder Kettle] Uh-oh.

[lively jazz plays]

[sighs]

[groans softly] Ah.

What happened?

Where am I?

[gasps]

It's the cup!

And the old man who hit me.

[Elder Kettle] Yoo-hoo.

Mrs. Meow Meow!

Are you awake yet?

The old jasper thinks I'm a house cat.

[bell dings]

Hm. This could work to my benefit.

I'll just lie in wait
until that cup comes home,

then when he least expects it,
I'll snatch his soul.

Yes! [cackles]

-[Elder Kettle] Here I come!
-[gasps]

Meow?

Oh good. You're awake.

[sniffs] Ooh!

Smells like somebody needs a bath.

[yowls, hisses]

-Now, now, Mrs. Meow Meow.
-[yowling]

We need to get you clean!

[gasps]

[gasps]

Ooh! Mm-hmm.

Ahh…

Meow!

-[harp plays soothing music]
-[purring]

[strings play melodramatic tune]

So I says, "You can take your nickel,
and you can stick it right--"

[both laughing loudly]

[yowling]

[both exclaim]

Bad! Bad kitty!

[hisses]

[yowls]

[mews]

[mewing]

Aw, ain't he cute?

-[knocking]
-[door opens]

Heya, fellas. There's a double
double feature playing at Inkwell Theater.

You ding-dongs wanna go?

Hey, what do you know about that?
Our lie came true.

Last one there buys the popcorn!

-[Cuphead] Woo-hoo!
-[Mugman] Yeah!

Wait. We can't leave
Elder Kettle with the Devil.

Hey, Kettle, how about
you come with us to the picture show?

No, no, you two run along.

I've gotta stay here
and deal with this naughty thing.

[mews]

[both muttering] I dunno.

[both laugh] Woo-hoo!

[purring]

[Elder Kettle] Now then, missy.

You're in hot water.

Meow?

Oh!

Who am I kidding?

I can't stay mad at you, Mrs. Meow Meow.

Now, you just wait here.

I'm going to whip up
a special treat for you.

What am I doing?

Pretending to be a cat?

I'm the Devil!

I just need one soul.

-[kitchenware clattering]
-[Elder Kettle humming]

Yes.

I'll just get that old kettle's soul.

[Elder Kettle] Oh, Mrs. Meow Meow.

I wuv you.

[kitchenware clatters]

[groans] Fine.

I'll get someone else's soul.

Oh, hello.

I'm selling brushes door-to-door.

Interested?

Sure.

But before that,
you strike me as a gambling man.

How about a game of tic-tac-toe?

Oh boy. Tic-tac-toe. Yay!

Here, kitty-kitty.

Wait till you see what I made Mrs. Meow…

Meow?

[plate clatters]

Mrs. Meow Meow?

[strings play melodramatic tune]

[sighs]

Now everyone's gone
and left old Elder Kettle alone.

Mrs. Meow Meow?

[bleats]

[gloomy baroque music plays]

Here. There's your soul. Happy now?

Quota satisfied.

[crashes]

[snoring]

[exclaims]

Aw, thanks, boss.

Did you get more donuts?

Uh…

I was in the bubble.

[Henchman groans]

[sighs] All right. You two, get out.
I've got important things to attend to.

[both muttering] I dunno.

[purring]

[mellow jazz plays]

[closing theme music plays]