04x13 - They Got Chops/Poetic Injustice/Comedy of Feathers

[bunniefuu]

Dexter: Oh, look.
It is Mr. Jones.

Here comes Mr. Jones out of
his attractive suburban home.

Mr. Jones gets into his
urban terrain vehicle.

The payments are sky-high,
but, boy, oh, boy,

does Mr. Jones sure
look sharp in it.

Driving to work
is a breeze today.

It is as if Mr. Jones has
the road all to himself.

Mr. Jones turns the corner
in his high-priced u.T.V.

To meet up with the
-foot
tall terror to mankind

made entirely of cheese.

It is gorgonzilla!

[Roar]

Gorgonzilla quickly
snatches up Mr. Jones.

Aha! Using his cell phone,

he puts in a call to the only
person who can save him now:

Dexter, boy genius.

"Help, Dexter! Help!"
Cries Mr. Jones.

Dexter, heeding the call,
Springs into action.

Grabbing his trusty wrench,
he--what the--

Dee Dee: Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake! Hah!

Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!

[Crash]

Ow. Hey, Dee Dee,
what was that?

That was free
judo lesson number .

[Gong rings]

Free or not,

I do not think

that was very nice.

Oh, I'm sorry,
Dexter.

Here, let me
help you up.

Oh, thank you.

That would be very--

aaaaaahh!
Shiitake! Hah!

Aaaaaaahhhh!

[Crash]

Dee Dee!

Once again,
free judo lesson number .

[Gong rings]

Stupid Dee Dee
and her stupid judo lessons.

I'll give her a lesson;
A lesson right in her--

aaaaaahh!
Shiitake! Hah!

Yaaaaaaahhh!

[Crash]

Oh...

[Gong rings]

Dee Dee: Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake! Hah!

[Dexter screaming]

[Crash]

[Gong rings]

Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake! Hah!

Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake!

Aaaaaahhhh!

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Hah!

Hah!

Oh...

[Gong rings]

[Bell rings]

Aha!

Whew.

Dee Dee: Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake!

Who--what--where--

Dee Dee: Hah!

Aaaaaahhhh!

That does it.
Time to fight fire with fire!

Oh, woe is me.
It is I, Dexter, boy genius,

walking down the hall alone
and oh, so vulnerable.

I sure hope Dee Dee is not
around the corner

to apply her free
judo lesson number

to my weak and frail person.

Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake!

Hah!

Eeeeeehhhh!

[Crash]

W-Was that...

Free judo lesson
number .

[Gong rings]

Taught by
master Smith...

In the small building
on main street...

The one with
the green door...

Across from
the bus station...

Next to the
chub e. Cheese...

Under the freeway
overpass...

In the old
neighborhood?

The same.

Oh...
Oh...

[Gong rings]

Hah!

Hah!

Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake!

Aaaaaahh!
Shiitake!

[Both shouting "hah!"]

Both: Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Dad: Just what
is going on here?

Just look at this mess!

I am sure that when
your mother gets home,

she's gonna give you--

aaaaaahh!
Shiitake! Hah!

[Crash]

Free judo lesson
number .

[Gong rings]

Taught by
master Smith...

In the small building
on main street...

The one with
the green door...

Across from
the bus station...

Next to the
chub e. Cheese...

Under the freeway
overpass...

Both:
In the old neighborhood?

The same.

Oh...
Oh...
Oh...

Oh. Owww.

Ahh.

[Romantic music]

Ahh.

[Deep breath]
Ahh.

[Bell rings]

[Bell rings]

Ahhhh.

Ahh.

Merriweather Monroe
doesn't even know
you exist, Dexter.

Of course she does.
She's crazy about me.

Oh, really?

Do not tell me
you do not notice

the way she gawks
at me on the bus
every day...

Must have missed that.

The way she bats
her eyes and flips
her hair...

Ha ha ha!
She's smitten.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Tell me something,
Dexter.

Why don't you...

You know, actually
say something to her?

Uh--ha ha ha!

Well, you know
how it is, uh...

Just waiting for
the right time.

Oh, yeah,
I know how it is.

Bet you don't say
something to her
tomorrow.

I'll take that wager.

Heh heh heh. Ahem.

Uh...ha ha!

So, m-m-merriweather,
that is a very nice scarf.

It is, uh, silk, yes?

You know,
I recently spliced
spider-silk genes

into the mammary
glands of a goat.

Girls!

I like you, Dexter.

Tell you what.
I'm going to help you.

Oh, really?

Poetry.

You are cuckoo, Dee Dee.
Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo.

No, it's true.
Chicks dig poetry.

You write merriweather
a poem, and you're in
like flint.

And how am I going to
write this poem?

That's where I come in.

See, I'll write
the poem for you.

All you have to do
is read them to her.

I'm your ghostwriter.
Get it?

Hmm.

Ahem.

Uh, you are, um...

M-M-My fair weather,
my sweet, uh, merriweather.

You have my heart on a tether,
my fair merriweather.

I am light as a feather,
with my heart on a tether.

For you are my fair weather,
my sweet merriweather.

[Romantic music]

[Music becomes upbeat]

[Burp]

Forget Jennifer and Jillian,
Hailey and Heather,

for nothing compares to my
fair weather merriweather.

Mmm, mmm.

Poetry. Ha!
Who would have thought?

Here's one.
How about this?

I look forward to sharing
puke-green seats of leather

when I am riding the bus with
my fair weather merriweather.

Piece of cake.

Oh, oh, wait a minute.
Wait. Wait. I got one!

My sister Dee Dee--
she is a real sweetie,

but sometimes I think
she's got a brain of baked ziti.

[Laughing]

My sister Dee Dee--
her eyeballs are beady,

her hair is reedy,
and her head's a bit meaty.

Ahem. All right. Uh...

My fair weather merriweather--

she is a dumb heifer

with bad skin
and ugly feet to boot.

Girls.

Past the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy
you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom
while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab