05x05 - Jack of All Trades

[bunniefuu]

Thank you.

Morning, Sheriff.
Morning.

Maple bar
and Vinspresso to go?

Am I that predictable?
I would say consistent.

Mmm.
Oh. Don't they look happy?

Hey, Zane.
Carter.

That's nice.

So, you're back together.

We're working on it.
Congratulations.

Maybe now,
he'll stop giving me
the stink eye.

Uh, well, he's still having
some issues with our, um,
matrix relationship

Yeah, so is Allison.

I mean, like that would
ever happen in the
real world. Right?

I know. Right?
(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Okay. So, um...

I've got to head
back to G.D.

Uh, Warren Hughes
is coming from D.O.D.

Human Resources.

Oh. I love that
little guy.
Say hi for me.

Oh, you can
tell him yourself.

He's conducting reviews
of all the Astraeus
crew members

to ensure they're fit
to return to work at G.D.

And the fun never stops.
Yeah.

So, you and I, we're,
uh... We're good, right?

Yeah.

No more weirdness?

No.

Good.
(CHUCKLES)

That was weird.

Here you go, Sheriff.
Hey.

Oh, and looks like Zane
forgot his sunglasses.

Oh. I'll give them to him.

The... Wow.
Nice shades, Ponch.

Jackass.

Who gave you the authority
to re-activate the matrix
mainframe?

Shut it down.
WOMAN: Yes, Director.

I want this thing dismantled
and locked in the vault.
D.O.D. Orders.

Fargo, hang on.

I did. I just began restoring
the corrupted files
to analyze the program code.

Yeah, but that program
k*lled Dr. Marten.
I want it mothballed.

Yeah, I get that, man.

We all miss her.

But maybe understanding
what happened would give you,

I don't know,
some sense of closure.

Isn't that what Holly
would want?

Holly's gone. And I want
that thing gone. Today.

Come on.

ALLISON: Make sure
the crew's medical files
are ready for review.

Okay, Dr. Blake.

Hey.
Hey.

I don't think I'm going
to make lunch today.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Jo told me,
uh, Warren's in town.

Yes. And everything
must go smoothly.
People's jobs rely on it.

Okay. So, no pressure, then.

(CHUCKLES) I just want
to get through this and get
everything back to normal.

Yeah.

So, you were with Jo today?

Uh, actually,
she was with Zane.
And is with Zane.

Because we're
in the real world.

No, but I might have to
talk to her from time to time.

Of course, you will.
Uh-huh.

Hey! My favorite couple!

Oh!
Oh, Warren!

Oh! Well...

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh. I heard about your ordeal.

Terrible loss, Dr. Marten.
I'm very sorry.

Thank you. It was, uh...
It was a shock to all of us.

Well, I don't want to add
to your stress.

I'll keep these evaluations
as casual as possible.

Think recreation therapy,
not inquisition.

Good.
Well, I think the Astraeus
crew will appreciate that.

Hey, I'm breezy.

But in case
things don't go well,

Sheriff, I'll need you to
handle the redactions.

That doesn't sound breezy.
Do...

Well. Let's get started.

Good luck.

Warren, this is Dr. Fowler,
the Astraeus crew's
particle physicist.

(SIGHS)
Thank you for seeing me
first, Mr. Hughes.

I get test anxiety.

No need, Dr. Fowler.

You must be glad
to be getting back to
normal life after your ordeal.

Definitely. Uh, I'm getting
used to reality again,

and I was able to apply
one of my virtual
breakthroughs to my work here.

Take a look.
(GRUNTING)

Ooh. Steak. This is going
to be a good experiment.

I calculated the wave
functions necessary to

transport organic material
across space-time using
quantum entanglement.

Uh, safety goggles, please.

Oh.

Okay...

Here we go.

Wow.

Very impressive.

Yeah, but who'd
want to eat it now?

I mean, you don't know
where it's been.

How does the reconstructed
tissue compare to the
original?

Darn near identical.
I'm still working out
a few minor issues.

Oh. Look out. Look out.
Look out. Look out. Look out.

Oh. Sheriff.

Are you all right?
(GROANS)

I'll never eat burgers again.

I don't know what happened.
All the other tests
went perfectly.

Can I get a towel?

Clean it up and
run a diagnostic.

Dr. Fargo.

Clearly, Dr. Fowler
rushed his work
in order to impress me,

work he developed,
when he was jacked
into the program.

Well, yes...
This accident was a direct
result of his trauma.

So, he's redacted
pending further
evaluation.

Redacted?

I'm very sorry.

Now, Dr. Fargo,
I have something special
planned for your review.

I think I'm deaf.

This is my evaluation?

Yes. I've found that
recreation therapy helps
people to relax and open up.

And your file says
that laser tag
is a favorite activity.

Well, I did captain the Eureka
team that schooled Los Alamos
three years running.

Excellent.
Shall we start then?

Bring it.

I told you I needed things
to go smoothly today.

Hey, I didn't asplode
the tenderloin.

And man, what a waste!

Well, your eardrums
aren't ruptured.
I think you'll be fine.

Well, except I was going to
enjoy my day with you.

And now, I'm stuck with Jo,
doing... redactions.

Well, maybe I'll have to
keep you under observation
for a little longer.

You know,
just to be on the safe side.
Right. Right.

Is this where it hurts?

(LASER g*n f*ring)

So, how's your health?

Any changes in diet?

Appetite?

Sleep patterns?

No, no, and no!

How is this side too?
Over here?

Yeah, it was both. For sure.
It was, yeah...

I like medicine.

ALLISON: Jack!

(GRUNTING)

Jack, what are you doing?

(PEOPLE PANICKING)

What the frak?

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

Oh, my God!

Here you go.

Is he okay?
Jack!

What? No!

(STAMMERING)
How did I get here?
In here?

You came down here
after the lab accident.
Remember?

No. Where's Warren?

He's doing Fargo's
evaluation. Why?

I'm Fargo.

Okay, you know what?
That asplosion was
bigger than we thought.

We need to
check your head.
No time. I need to find me!

Jack. Jack!

I heard g*nf*re.
What the hell happened?

I don't know.
Jack just lost it.

Carter did this?
Yes.

Okay, I have to find him.
No, no, no, no.
Look. He left the g*n here.

He needs medical attention.
I will handle it.

No weirdness.
Yeah. Right.

Um, what just happened?

(EXCLAIMS)
(BEEPING)

You got schooled is
what happened, Dr. Fargo.

What? Fargo?

Oh, my God.
It's my worst nightmare.

I'm your worst nightmare.

I expected more from
the laser tag-team captain.

No, no, no, no, no.
This isn't happening.

Perhaps you're not
as ready to lead
as you thought, Dr. Fargo.

That's right. I'm Fargo.

And I'm good.
And definitely
leader material.

Then, defend yourself!

(f*ring)

(BEEPING)

(GASPS)

Now, that's more like it.
Congratulations.

You've passed the first phase
of your review.

(STAMMERING)
There's more?

I'm gonna go get changed.

I'm so screwed.

Sheriff Carter?

Whoa.
This is beyond creepy.

Fargo?
Holy socks!
We've swapped bodies!

Jack! What is
going on with you?

Well, for starters,
I'm over here.

Okay, Fargo, it's not funny.
Jack just fired a w*apon
in the infirmary.

(STAMMERING)
I did what?

It was an accident.
I was in here, in my body,
playing laser tag.

The next thing I know,
I'm in you.

Okay. (GRUNTING)
Never phrase it
that way again.

What are you two
talking about?

We've had
a kind of neural swap.

That is impossible.
Possible.

We were just making out
in the infirmary.

With Warren here?

Dr. Blake, PDA
in the workplace
is against G.D. Policy.

Bigger issues, Fargo.

Oh, my God.
You're not kidding.

Is this my joking face?
No. This is not
my face at all.

What did you brainiacs
do this time?

I don't know.
But if Warren finds out,
we can kiss our jobs goodbye.

Oh. Um...
Hey, kids.

Time for phase two,
Dr. Fargo.

Let's go look at some art.

Help me, Allie.

Wait. You're Fargo?
I'm sorry. I'm having
trouble believing this.

Just run a
magnetoencephalographic
neural scan and find out.

See?

Wow. I mean, that is
definitely not Jack.

But neural transplantation
is impossible.

What about neural
teleportation?

Neural what?

Dr. Fowler's
matter-relocation unit blew up
in our faces this morning.

Maybe it affected
our synaptic functioning.

He said
it was having issues.

Maybe. It's a stretch.
I don't know.
I'll take a look.

And we'll start running
neural scans.

Hopefully, we can fix this
before Warren finds out.

Just hurry up. Carter's
in my body talking to Warren.

Who knows what he might say?

Butterfly dog.

What an oddly child-like
imagination you have.

Uh... How about this one?

Butterfly cow.

(CLEARING THROAT)

(STAMMERING)
That is filthy.
You show that to children?

I have to say,
I'm a little
concerned, Dr. Fargo.

These aren't typical
answers for someone
with an I.Q. Of 163.

Ah. Well, because
I was joking. Obviously.

Give me another one.
I can do better.

Uh, sorry to interrupt.

Fargo, about that project
we discussed
shutting down earlier...

I found something
promising.

Yes. Well...

Pursue that
and report back to me.

Great. Thanks.

And I'll see you tomorrow,
Mr. Donovan.

Yeah, I can't wait, Warren.

So, let's try
a few more images.

Accepted to MIT
as a sophomore.

Got my PhD at 22.

Recruited by Global Dynamics
the next year.

And now my entire
scientific career is at
the mercy of Sheriff Carter.

I'm more concerned that
his body is at your mercy.

What if he gets
stuck this way?

Wow, Dr. Blake.

Either you'll have to
date me in
Sheriff Carter's body,

or date Sheriff Carter
in mine.

It's quite a
Sophie's choice.

Grace? We have to fix this.

Honey, don't worry,
I will take care of it.

(MACHINE BEEPING)
Oh. We're getting
a neural spike.

Is he having a seizure?
Fargo?

Dr. Fargo?

What? Hmm?

What do you
see in these?

(STAMMERING)
The Orion Nebula.

A high elf with
a w*r hammer.

Oh, Buffy
high-fiving herself.

(LAUGHING)

You have a very
interesting brain,
Dr. Fargo.

I think we're done.

Done? As in redacted?

No. Done,
as in cleared for duty.

I'm satisfied
that you're ready.

(LAUGHS)

Butterfly dog.
That was a good one.
(LAUGHING)

(FAKE LAUGHING)

Butterfly dog?

(JACK GROANING)

Oh.
Jack?

Yeah. Oh, I've literally
never been so happy.

My God. I don't think
I could have taken
Sophie's choice.

She's been a little worried.

ALLISON: Maybe
the neural scanning
process reset you somehow.

Grace is analyzing the data.

But we don't know
what caused it.

What about the, uh...
Transporter thing...
Thing-ama-jig?

Did you make me
talk like that
in front of Warren?

Yeah, I did.
You want to go
sh**t something?

(HENRY CHUCKLING)

I've looked at the
matter re-locator.
And there's no indication

that it could cause this.
Any residual symptoms?

Uh... My head hurts a bit,

but I'm pretty relieved
to be back in my body.

(SCOFFS) Yeah, me too.
You really had to go
to the little boys' room.

Well...

(CHUCKLES)

Tell me you didn't take me.

Tell me you didn't use
your boy hands to...

They were your hands.
(HENRY CHUCKLING)

Both of you need
some rest tonight.

And we'll keep
looking for the cause.

But hopefully, you know,
the worst is over.

Hopefully.

How you feeling?

Well, I'm back to my old self.

Mmm...

Well...

Why don't we celebrate?

I like the way you think.

Jack, what are you doing?

(EXCLAIMING)

Aw, man. Not again.

Want some company?

Oh, boy.
Mmm.

Oh.

Is there a problem?

No. No. Why would
there be a problem?

Okay. Way to be subtle.

I will go brush my teeth.

Okay.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

This is the weirdest
dream ever.

I thought that we could
start the day off right.

Oh, God.

Oh! That's...
That sounds great.

But I don't...
I don't think I can.
Mmm-mmm.

I would disagree.
(GASPS)

Ha!

Oh, I mean, I'd love to.
But, uh, I'm late.

Late to work.
Yup. Rain check.
Rain check.

(YELPS)

Rain check?

(DIALING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Zane, it's Carter.

What? If you're Carter, then
why do you sound like me?

Because I am you.
We just swapped brains.

This is a seriously
messed up dream.

(GASPS)
Ew. Oh.

ALLISON: Jack,
who are you talking to?

It's not a dream, Zane.
And if you touch Allison,
you're a dead man.

I'm... I'm talking to Zane.
That jackass.

He's trouble.

The... If you're at my place,
then you're in my body.

Yep. And you went a little
nuts with the hair trimmer,
don't you think?

Hey. I believe
in man-scaping.

You should try it,
Sheriff Sasquatch.
This is disgusting.

I was in the shower.

You don't say.

Where's Jo?

Uh...

Indisposed.

(STAMMERING)
Indisposed? Like, naked?

Just meet me
at the neural lab.
And no touching.

Yeah. That goes
both ways, pal.
And I got a g*n.

Unbelievable.
What is this, polyester?

Jack? Where did he go?

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Ah. These wrinkles are deep.

Man, he's going to have
cheeks like a basset hound.

Oh! I was looking
for these.

Whoa!

I'm in hot pursuit.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

Yee-haw!
(SIREN WAILING)

I found an elevation in Jack's
Z wave pattern compared to
the other crew members.

It's concerning.

Tell me about it.

I woke up inside Zane.

(STAMMERING)
In the shower.

Damn it!

Jack?
How did you guess, Henry?

This is extraordinary.

It's not the word
I'd choose, but...

Zane is in your body?

Yeah, he's on his way
here now. I feel all bulky.

We need to run a new
PET and SPECT scan
on both of you right away,

before this gets any worse.
Morning, friends.

Too late.
Mr. Donovan,
your review is next.

And I have a special
activity picked for you.

And I brought scones.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Great. Right behind you.

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

(SIREN WAILING)

Buh, buh, buh, bad!

Bad to the bone

Do you know how fast
you were going, miss?

I'm sorry, Sheriff.
I was testing a new
hybrid turbine engine,

and there was a surge
in the power cell.
Aw... Yeah.

It just got away from me.

I have a permit.

Well, then, little honey,

I may have to cite you
for disturbing the peace.

Excuse me?
Yeah.

If you want to file
a sexual harassment
claim against me,

Sheriff Carter,
then you do that
with Deputy Andy.

Okay? Hold on.
(PHONE RINGING)

Sheriff Grab-Ass.

Yeah. Uh, this
is a trip, isn't it?

You have to get up here now
so I can run some tests.

Yeah. Tell Carter
I'm just getting
a little bit of payback.

I would, but he's being
evaluated by Warren Hughes
in your body.

I'll be right there.
Uh, call me.

Drop dead.

Carter. C-A-R-T-E-R.

WARREN: You look nervous,
Mr. Donovan.

But your file says
you love rock climbing.

Oh, I do. Yeah.
I love it. Love it.

You need some more slack?

No. No. No.
Tight is good.
Tight is good.

So, tell me.
Have you noticed any changes
in your sleep patterns?

Like waking up
in another body, maybe!

Come again?

No, not really. No.

Sorry to interrupt, Warren.

Zane, the project
we discussed, it never
arrived at the vault.

Right. Um...
It's on my to-do list.

We won't be much longer.

Well, just get it done.

Martha is going
to make sure you do.

Whoa!

Take it easy.
I said I'd do it.

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

Is that typical
behavior for her?

No!
Martha, take it easy.

(SCREAMING)

(YELPS)

Never do that again.

So, you're Zane?
Since when?

Since right before
you brushed
your teeth this morning.

And Carter slipped into me.
There's got to be
a better way to say that.

Um... Excuse me?

Hey, JoJo.

What's going on?

Uh, Jack has been
experiencing
strange neural transfers.

First, with Fargo.
Now, with Zane.

Who was in the shower
with me this morning?

What?

Son of a bitch.
I knew he was touching.

No. He didn't. He didn't.

But he also didn't say
that he wasn't you.

Well, I was
a perfect gentleman.

You didn't say
who you were either, Zane.

You didn't?

I thought
I was dreaming.
He... He knew.

Where is he?
(WARREN SCREAMING)

Down! Down!

(WARREN GROANING)
We need help here.

Warren, are you all right?
It's my heart. It's...

Lie down. Lie down.

Are you having chest pain?

I have an ICD.

Ew. The birth control thing?

No. An Implantable
Cardioverter Defibrillator.

It delivers a jolt of
electricity to correct

arrhythmia during
stressful situations.

Yeah, like being chased by
a psychotic att*ck drone?

Give it a second.

(EXCLAIMS)

(SIGHS)
That's better.

Oh. What in the world
got into her?

We are going to
go find out.

Come on. Let's go fill out
an accident report.
Safety first.

I'll talk to you later,
Carter.

Oh. You told her?
Thanks, Zane.

You showered
with my girlfriend.

You're lucky
I didn't punch myself
in the face.

Don't push me,
Six Pack,

or I'll pound another
bacon-cheese scone.

Another?

It's going to take me
a month to work that off!

Okay. Can the two of you
take this seriously, please?

We need to figure out
what is causing this.
Not to mention this.

I wonder if there's a link.

Between what?

The accidents and us.

You know, first,
the meat expl*si*n,
and now, Martha.

It's the second time
technology has gone nuts
in the last 24 hours.

Third. I pulled over a hottie
in a runaway test vehicle.

You may be hearing
from her attorney.

Oh, yeah? Or maybe
I'll just arrest myself

for impersonating
a police officer.

Oh, let's see how
that goes for you.

Whatever. We need to
get Henry to take
a look at Martha.

(GROANING)
Zane, are you all right?

No. Do I look all right?

I'm hideous.
I'm half scarecrow,
half Andy Griffith.

Okay. We need to get
both of you down
to the neurology lab

before there's
permanent damage.

Or you get stuck
like this.

Stuck like this?

Well, the good news is,
Zane's scans are normal.

Great.
But I'm still
stuck in here.

And what's the bad news?

Jack's SPECT shows
a hyperactive axonal cluster.

Well, that can't be good.

It's an unusual
concentration of high-speed
electrical impulses.

Well, Jack has been
the focal point
of the swapping.

But what would cause
the cluster?

Well, it must be the Z waves.
I mean, the entire crew
is sharing them,

and Jack's brain
is acting as an antenna.

If the neural
transfers continue,

then it'll cause
permanent brain damage.

Well, then, we're going to
have to operate to stop them.

Whoa. Brain surgery?

Sign me up.
I don't want to get stuck
in this doughy body.

Okay, look.
We don't have
time to argue.

Things are critical now.

I think we're going to
have to tell Warren
what's going on.

Well, I only wish
you had come
to me sooner.

So do we.
We had good intentions.

It sounds to me like your
intentions were to hide
a major security thr*at

in order to save your jobs.

Well, if you're
splitting hairs...

Look, I appreciate that you
came forward with the truth.

But unfortunately,
it's a little too late.

After the surgery
is completed

and you've stopped
whatever is causing this,

I regret to say,
you're all redacted.
I'm sorry.

Thanks.

(SIGHS)

Zane?

Unfortunately.

Seeing you like this is
really awkward.

Tell me about it.
I have no abs at all.

(CHUCKLES)

How are you really feeling?

Uh...

Kind of nauseous.

I think it's the thought
of you getting naked with him.

I didn't get naked with him.
I got naked with you.

Yeah, except Carter
was in the cockpit.
Okay, please.

Don't say cockpit.

Nothing happened.

But this is the way it starts.

All right? Just like
in the program.
It's just...

Listen to me.
I don't care
about programs.

I care about you.
No matter what
body you're in.

That better be Zane
in there.

In here.

(GASPS)

This is not
my fault. Okay?

Of course.

Let's drill into
your brain, shall we?

Oh, this day sucks.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)
Ow! Okay...

Maybe operating
in your current state
of mind is a bad idea.

I'm fine.

What are those?

The haptic telepresence
gloves are like
a steering wheel

for the nanoprobe
she's about to insert.

I'm going to drive the probe
through your brain

to the axonal cluster
and neutralize it.

Through... Okay...
Well, don't drive angry.

Laser-drill is in position.

Gloves are activated.
Let's get started.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're going to
knock me out, right?

No, I need you
to stay awake
and make sure

we don't do damage
to your brain
during the procedure.

Oh, that's comforting.

And I don't want you to talk
unless I tell you to.

I need you
to be perfectly still.

Okay. No moving while
you're tooling around
in my brain. Fair.

That fair enough.
Got it.

(SIGHS) Okay.
Let's get started.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

How are you feeling, Jack?
Never better.

Okay. Almost there.

(BEEPING)

We're getting a spike
in the axonal cluster.

(ALARM RINGING)

Jack, you can't...

Oh, no, no, no, no...

Jack?

Oh, crap.

(ALARM RINGING)

(SIGHS)

Breathe easy, Jack. It's okay.

I'm probing
my own brain, Allie.
It's so not okay.

(STAMMERING) Allison,
do you want me
to disengage the gloves?

No. Leaving the probe there
could cause permanent damage.

We're going to have to
maneuver it out
the way it came in.

But we don't know
what we're doing.

I'm going to guide you
through it. Okay?

Grace, if you could
set up the haptic
telepresence readout

on the main
monitor there.

That would be fantastic.
Jack, it's like
a video game.

Okay? Now, use
your hands to pull

out the probe the
same way it went in.

Okay. So, it's like
operation.

Just don't touch the sides.

If that makes you
feel better, sure.

Okay. Jack, watch my hands.

Easy. Okay. You're doing...
You're doing great, Jack.

Allison, are you okay?

All things considered...
(ALARM BEEPING)

Uh-oh. Okay, maybe
no chit-chat?

Uh, sorry.

GRACE: Okay, almost there.
That's it...

And you're out.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Thank God.
Allie, are you okay?

Who's Allie?

Kidding.
Jack, you did great.

That's so mean.

Yeah, well, I'm still
a little mad about that kiss.

That is so not my fault.
I swear, it's all about you.

Jack? We're not out
of the woods, yet.

We have to fix this.

I know.

We will.

Your boyfriend
out of surgery yet?

No. And you have to stop.

Sorry. It's just been
a really weird day.

You're the one
who kissed me
with Carter's mouth.

(GROANS) I was...
I was caught up
in the moment, I guess.

Zane, you have to know
how crazy it is

to be jealous of something
with Carter and me
that never happened.

(SIGHS) Yeah,
but the thing is, it's not.

I've been digging into
the programming.

The virtual Eureka
we experienced in there,

it's based on predictive
algorithms from our own
psychological profiles.

So, given the right set
of circumstances,
you and Carter hooking up,

it's not just possible.
It's probable.

One of the circumstances
was me thinking that
you were dead, right?

Right.

So, don't make me k*ll you,
and you have
nothing to worry about.

Mmm.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)
You okay?

My head hurts even more.
Or your head, rather.
Would you like your results?

Really? I don't know
what this means.

Well, the data shows that
the hyperactive axonal cluster
is serving as an antenna.

And it's not transmitting.
It's receiving.

From what?

Well, we don't know.

But the spike
in the electrical activity
from each swap

is eroding the myelin sheath.

That doesn't sound good.

Jack, you could
suffer permanent damage

to your central
nervous system.

(SIGHS) Your brain
is not the only thing

suffering from
dangerous spikes
in electrical activity.

Jack, good call.

The other devices that
malfunctioned were all on
the same Z wave frequency.

The re-locator, Martha,
and the Smart Car energy cell.

Have Fargo do an audit.
Find out what project or
device is causing this.

Maybe it's the one
he's been telling Zane
to shut down.

Good luck.
Oh, I don't like this.

Check it out.
I can't believe it.

You've been rebooting
the mainframe after
I specifically told you

to mothball it?

What?

You told me to pursue it
and then report back to you.

That wasn't me.
That was Carter.

All right. Well, how was
I supposed to know that?

Look, the point is,
it's been slowly
re-constructing the files

and I found something here.

Take a look at this.
What are those?

The mainframe has been
tracking the Z waves
of the Astraeus crew,

or it's been trying to.

But it found one
that's still active
inside the program.

Holly?

Yeah.

Fargo, she might
still be in there.

HENRY:
Jack, they're in here.
So is the mainframe.

Jack? Carter's inside
Allison now.

Phrasing. How many times?

So, if the program is doing
what I think it's doing,

we need to shut it down
so that they can get back
to where they belong

before they can't.

Hey. No one told me
that you were out, yet.

Yeah, sorry.
It got a little hairy
before...

With the
body-swapping.

Yeah, about that.

And our kiss.

What about our kiss?

Oh, this matrix thing has
everyone acting nuts.

And I really want things
to be normal again.

So, I just, I think that
we should just be
honest with each other.

You know, so we can
move past it
and get on with our lives.

Honest about what, exactly?

Us. I mean, of course,
I've thought about it.

Why wouldn't I?
You're my best friend.
You're attractive.

I'm really attractive.
(LAUGHS)

I mean, I...
It's not that
I want to pursue it.

You know, I just...
Why act like it's never
crossed our minds?

I mean, haven't you ever
thought about it?

No. Not really.

Oh.

Well, I'm glad that
we cleared that up.

Okay.

When Zane rebooted
the program,

it began searching
for missing files

which are, in this case,
the crew's brains.

It couldn't find us directly
because we're not
hard-wired to it anymore.

And Jack, of all of you, was
the only one who was linked
to the program wirelessly.

And it found him.

So, I'm a wi-fi hotspot.

Pretty much. Each Z wave
pattern it re-booted for,

the crew had to pass
through that router, you,

which caused the
temporary neural swaps.

If we shut down the program,
the anomalies stop.

Fargo, it's still
in the re-booting process.

If we shut down now,
we could lose access
to all of the restored data,

including Holly.
I know.

Do it.

Ready?

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Jack?

No. It's Allison. I'm back.
What happened?

(PAGER BEEPING)

Oh, no.

(ALARM RINGING)

What happened?

He jumped up,
took a few steps,
then collapsed.

He's non-responsive.
Jack! Jack! Jack!

Well, he's alive,
but his synapses
are misfiring.

And his EEG
is all over the place.

What does that mean exactly?

Well, if our brains
are like hard drives,
then Jack's is corrupted,

and it's about to
crash permanently.

And if that happens,
we could lose him.

Can you re-boot him?

The way my implant does
for my arrhythmia?

The nanoprobe.
If we re-calibrate
the charge...

We can send a small
electrical jolt to the cluster
and neutralize the anomaly.

Okay.

That should do it.
We're running out of time.

I'm in.
The EEG is still erratic.

Delivering charge.
Now.

(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

Okay.

Pulling out.

(BEEPING)

Jack. Jack, come on.
Come back to me, please.

Come on, love. It's Allie.

Come on, Jack.

(MOANS)

Jack, is that you in there?

(BREATHING)

(SOFTLY) It's me.

I'm here.

There's a happy
ending, huh?

Definitely.

Things do seem prone
to go wrong around here,

but you guys have
a knack for making
everything turn out right.

We have an amazing crew.
It's a team effort.

I noticed that.

Which is why I've reconsidered
my decision to redact
the crew.

If anything,
the last 24 hours
have shown me

just how prepared you are
to resume your duties.

Oh, Warren.
That's a great relief.
Thank you.

Everyone except Fowler.
That kid has issues.
He needs some time off.

He's not the only one.

Oh. Tell me about it.

I've been trying
too hard, Henry,

to fix things.
To get back to normal.

But I think I need
some time off, too.

From all of it.
Being here.

I love you. But, um...
I think I need to
go away for a while.

(SIGHS)

Margherita pizza for Allison.
And for you, Sheriff,

barbecue-bacon-blue-cheese
burger with beer-batter
curly fries. Enjoy.

Thanks, Vince.

Turns out I can
eat burgers again.

I'm just glad that
you're feeling
like yourself again.

Mmm. Come here.

(SIGHS)

Jack...
There's something
I need to say to you.

Yeah, I need to say
something to you, too.

(BOTH STUTTERING)

When I was lying there,
and my brain was fading,

and the thoughts
were just being
stripped away,

the ones that I clung to

were of you and the kids.

I never want to go through
that loss again. Ever.

I want to start building
memories with you.

Forever. Starting now.

So...

(EXHALES)
Jack, what are
you doing?

I know this is
the wrong place.

And I know that
this is the wrong time.

But I don't want to wait
any longer.

Yeah. Allison...

Will you marry me?

And I also know
that this is a
beer-battered potato ring.

(LAUGHING)

But, uh...
People are staring.

So, what do you say?

I say yes.

MAN: Way to go, Sheriff.
(APPLAUSE)

VINCENT:
Champagne for everyone.