05x08 - In Too Deep

[bunniefuu]

SARAH, have you
seen my phone?

SARAH?

(SIGHING) Great.

Good morning,
Dr. Blake.

Good morning.
Morning.

Good morning,
Dr. Blake.

(SIGHS) Is anyone else
going to come out of there?

It's a closet,
not a clown car.

Okay, what were you
guys doing in there?

They were both
servicing me.

I'm sorry
that I asked.

Well, with Holly's essence
in SARAH's computer,

I thought it might nice
to display her
in a holographic form.

We were just working out
the final details.

How do I look?

Um, exactly like you.

Oh! I asked
for bigger boobs.

You were perfect before
your untimely interruption
and you are perfect now.

I can't actually
touch anything.

Yes, Holly,
I'm familiar with
the concept of holograms.

Fargo, when was
the last time
that you slept

or bathed
or weren't here?

My love can neither sleep,
nor bathe, nor leave,

so I shall do
none of these
until she can.

Oh, and don't worry.
I have plenty
of sick days accrued.

And I'm giving
Dr. Fargo tips on dating
a non-traditional entity.

Yes, because one of you
dating my house wasn't
non-traditional enough.

Hmm.

(SIGHING)
Where is my...

Hey, Mom, I told Dre
we'd give him a ride
to school today,

so we have to go.

Okay, well if I could
find my phone

or anything else
around here.

Dungeon Master,
where were we?

SARAH: Approaching
a subterranean river

in the caverns beneath
the Orc-infested keep.
You know where the phone is?

Oh, oh! I can use
that 50-foot pole I have
stored in my portable hole.

Has anyone seen
my phone?

KEVIN: I...
I think I found it.

Where? Oh.
There it is.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
Ow! It shocked me.

Oh, mine did, too.
What's going on?

(CHUCKLING)

What? What?

Happy Feynman Day.

Oh, great.
Feynman Day.

And a fine day
for Feynman Day it is.

You have no clue.
No, remind me.

Global's version
of April Fools' Day.

Richard Feynman
was a Nobel Prize-winning
physicist

famous for his
practical jokes.

So a bunch of science nerds
playing pranks on each other.

Ah, what could
go wrong?

Hmm, yes.
I have to go inspect
the medical equipment

for the new marine lab
before it opens tomorrow.

A day alone
in an empty
underwater lab

is exactly
what I need today.

You mean a day alone
with your fiancé is what
you need right now.

(GRUNTING)
Well, it is not my fiancé
that I'm avoiding.

Hmm, I think I'll avoid
G.D. Today, myself.

Henry wants to talk about
the bachelor party anyway.

Oh, well, good luck.

Yeah, um, on that note.
Uh...

Any chance we could
maybe nail down a date
for the wedding?

Um, it's on my list
of things to do.

Great, because I spoke to Zoe
and she's really excited

and if you look
on the calendar,
I actually marked off...

I saw the calendar

and I will let my family
know about the wedding
as soon as I...

Can.

You haven't...
You haven't told your
family about the wedding?

Please don't
give that look.

I... Look,
I've just been really...

You know what?
I don't want to
get into it right now.

Okay?
Okay.

I've got to go.
Okay.

Uh, hey, boss.

Uh, if you're not busy
I'm going to head out.

Uh, actually,
I think I might have
an assignment for you.

You know how Fargo's
been living on my couch

and spending
every second with his,
sort of, dead girlfriend?

It's not healthy.

I don't imagine
it's very good for your
pre-marital bliss, either.

No, there is that.

Um, so I'm wondering,
in your lovable
and tactful way,

if you could maybe...

Kick him to the curb?

Glad we understand
each other. Thank you.

(GROANS)

Invisible barrier,
pre-approved.

(SCREAMS)

Magnetized pants!
Pre-approved.

MAN: Okay!
Let me down!

(BUBBLING)

(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

Foam party
in the detergent lab,
not approved.

Who is responsible
for this?

Oh, I didn't
do that.

I'm just here
about my brachiopods.
I can't find them.

Dinosaurs? Okay, tell me
you're kidding.

No, not Brachiosauri.
Artemia salina,
to be precise.

Very tiny, very harmless.
Uh, just not where
they should be.

Missing who-zits...
Not on my list.

People, what part
of pre-approved
do you not understand?

Relax, Jo.
Try embracing
spontaneity for once.

Oh, see, you say
spontaneity

and I say
a reckless disregard
for consequences.

I have a thousand
reconstituted lungfish
in the Estivation Lab,

the Thermodynamics Wing
is now a sauna...

Oh, and the cafeteria
floor is a trampoline.

You're kind of missing
the point of Feynman Day,
aren't you?

Oh, you mean
there's a point
to all of this idiocy?

Yes.

Some of the greatest
innovations in history

were the result of
a really cool prank.

I mean, how do you think
we discovered anti-matter?

And Velcro.
Seriously?

Well, no,
but it's possible

and you're kind of
squelching that potential.

(SIGHS)
Damn straight!

Okay, the next one
of you eggheads...

(CLOTHES CRACKLING)

...to pull an unapproved
prank will be subjected
to unapproved discipline.

Spread the word.

(PEOPLE SNICKERING)

What?
(LAUGHING)

Uh, it looks like
someone treated
your clothes

with nano-fibers from
the meta-materials lab.

Bring on the
unapproved discipline.

Ow!

(IN SQUEAKY TONE)
Hey! Zane!

(CLEARING THROAT)

Ow! What the hell?

(IN SQUEAKY TONE)
Good morning!

(LAUGHING)

Seriously, you drank
the coffee I sent you?
You're a dumb ass.

(CONTINUES SQUEAKING)

Just chill.
I just messed with
the speech center

of your parietal lobe
a little bit.

You'll un-beaker
in a day or two.
Well, three, tops.

"Congratulations,
you've been promoted
to head of Section Five."

"Dumbass."

Ah, this is your
idea of payback.

Nice try.
You know what?
You're right.

You wouldn't
have the stones.

So why don't you tell Lupo
to leave the pranks
to the professionals, okay?

Nice touch, but I'm still
not going anywhere
near Section Five.

(SQUEAKING)

(SIGHING)

Sweet silence.

Computer! Status?

AUTOMATED VOICE: Initiating
mobile lab detachment.

What? No, no, no.
No detachment.
Computer override.

Override unauthorized.
Prepare for air lock seal.

What? No, no, no!
Remain docked!
Remain docked!

Help! Help!
Is anyone out there?

Is anyone up there?

Mobile lab launch successful.

Yeah, depends on
your point of view.

(SCREAMS)

Surprise!

You pulled
a prank on me?

Well, I wouldn't
so much call it
a prank as a "surprise".

I hate surprises.
How do you not
know that about me?

Well, I didn't think
it was a bad surprise.

Oh, my God.
One moment alone.

Is that so much
to ask for?

Come on down.
Just...

(SIGHS)

I'll bet you're going
to like this one.
There you go.

(SIGHS)

Oh, my God.

Uh-huh.

(BEEPS)

(MUZAK PLAYING)
Come, sit.

I'm Virtual Vincent,

and I'll be your tour guide
through each delectable
course of my Feast d'amour,

as well as through
your undersea cruise

through the enchanting
Global Dynamics aqua farm.

Enjoy.

So, this took a lot
of preparation, huh?

Yeah.

Well, that wine isn't
going to pour itself.

Thank you.

(INDISTINCT)

Help.

Why don't you relax?

MAN 1: Little help,
please. Anybody?

MAN 2:
Hey, check this out.

No. No!
Not approved!

Larry, stop!

(SQUEAKING)

You almost unleashed
a flood!

Where is your PA?
I am ending this
right now.

(ON PA) Listen up, Global,
Feynman Day is over.

Anyone perpetrating a prank,
authorized or not, will be
spending the night in lockup.

ZANE OVER PA:
As Grand Poobah
of Section Five,

I demand to be amused.
Let the Section Five
pranks continue.

Mr. Donovan...

And by the way,
you're looking
smoking, Lupo.

(CLOTHES BUZZING)
What?

Really?

(SQUEAKS)

Ooh! Holly rolls a 20!

Head sh*t! Whoo-hoo!
Whoo! Ah!

SARAH:
That eliminates the last
of the Orc combatants.

Do you wish to proceed
deeper into the keep?

Yeah!
Hey, guys,
here's a thought.

You know how
college roommates
have a sign

to let the other one
know that they're
getting busy inside.

(CLEARING THROAT)
A, my college experience

did not involve
a lot of "getting busy"

and B, does the compound
word "Non-sequitur"
mean anything to you?

I'm going somewhere
with this.

(CLEARING THROAT)
Seeing as how

we're both romantically
involved with this house,

to one degree
or another.

Perhaps we should
have a similar system,
like today for example.

We can pretend
that I put out the sign
and you have to go.

(SCOFFS) No, I'm not
going anywhere.

To be fair, you have been
monopolizing all
of her time and I...

You and SARAH
have an eternity
to spend together.

Holly and I
might only have...

Wait, might only...

(GASPS) SARAH?

SARAH?
Where did she go?
Is she okay?

SARAH: I'm unable
to answer those questions
with any degree of certainty.

As you know, Dr. Fargo,
maintaining Holly's
existence is...

Just get her back
as soon as you can.
Get her back!

Have what?

Um, only have
until the end
of this campaign

until I have to go back
to work, you know.
(LAUGHS) Oh.

SARAH,
we're going deeper.

Nice.

If Zane wants discipline,
I'm going to give him
discipline!

(expl*si*n)
(SCREAMS)

Not approved!

(ALARMS BLARING)

(SQUEAKING)

This salad is
really delicious.

Every ingredient
in your kelp salad

was organically grown
right here in Eureka's
own aqua farm,

the largest manmade
saltwater ocean habitat
in the world.

Allie, how could you
not tell your family?

(SIGHS) Jack, please,
can we just enjoy this meal?

Here's an
interesting tidbit,

Lake Archimedes is home
to over 10,000 forms of
aquatic life.

When I'm excited
about something
in my life,

for instance,
our wedding day,

I like to share it
with my loved ones.

And I'm going
to tell them.

Okay, when?
Because it feels
like you're stalling.

Oh, this from the guy
who took four years
to ask me out.

I mean, what is
the big rush?
Oh.

Let's just
take a breath.

A breath for what?

And remember,
there's no need
for you lovebirds

to be shy around
Virtual Vincent.

What happens
in the mobile...

Lights. Um...

(LAUGHS)

Maybe... Maybe we should
just do this another time.

I think we should.

What do you mean?

Well, what do you mean?
I meant lunch.

Right. That's what
I meant, too, lunch.

All right.

Henry told me how
to take it
out of autopilot.

I just got to remember
the sequence.

(SIGHING)

Jack...
Hold on. I...
I did it with a song. Um...

(HUMMING)

Seven...

Jack?
Four...

Jack!
What? Yeah?

Well, that doesn't
look like it's on
the programed tour.

Okay, number sequence.
(ALARM BLARING)

(STUTTERING)
Seven... Four...

Uh...
Come on!

Yes! Watch it!

(SYSTEMS POWERING DOWN)

Uh, I've got to say
I was expecting
something a little worse.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Auxiliary power activated.

Okay, well,
whatever it was,
it fried the power.

Repulsion, navigation,
communication,
they're all down.

(SIGHS)
Now what?

We drift down to
the bottom of the lake
and brace for touchdown.

Brace, brace, brace.

Again, not so bad.

Wow.

(GASPING) Oh!
(CARTER YELLS)

(GRUNTING)
That's bad!

Okay, don't move.

Okay.

What the hell
are those?

(SIGHS) a*t*matic
safety shields.

Okay.

Jack, we are not
on stable ground.

If we go over the edge,
this lab was not built
to take that kind of fall.

Okay, can we...
Can we drop anchor?

Uh, secure the lake bed?

(CREAKING)

It's okay.
We don't have an anchor.

All right. Can we, uh,
maybe fire torpedoes?

Jack, this is a marine lab,
not the Red October.

Um, how about fire, uh...

Like a grappling
hook thingy?

Seriously?
Well, at least I'm trying!

Wait a minute,
the lab does have
a couple of sample probes.

(STUTTERING)
If I could bypass
the electronic trigger

I could manually launch
all the probes towards
the trench at once.

And maybe the reaction
will push us backwards
onto stable ground.

Yeah, yeah,
that's different
from f*ring torpedoes.

JO: And now an expl*si*n
in the alkaline metals lab.

Seriously, if undermining
my authority wasn't enough,

someone could have
really been hurt.

Whoa, Jo. Come on,
I didn't blow this place up.

Oh, are you going to
deny these assorted
acts of spontaneity, too?

Well, that one was me,
but you've got to admit
that was kind of funny.

Okay, Zane.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.
Uh...

There is a common denominator
to a bunch of these,
but it's not me.

It's water.
They're all water-based.
Look at this.

Steam in thermal dynamics,
reconstituted lungfish...

Fish bowling
in Fargo's office.
The avalanche of lather.

Yeah, and alkaline metals
which don't exactly
play well together.

Watch.

The reaction's so violent
that it ignites the liberated
hydrogen gas.

All right, uh...
Labidium, water.

You might want to
stand back a little bit.

Okay.

You ready?

(expl*si*n)
(GASPING) Whoa!

Multiply that by a couple
thousand grams...

And you get fireworks.

Yeah, not exactly
the spirit
of Feynman Day.

Well, maybe this
wasn't a prank.

What do you mean?
Shh.

Do you hear that?
What?

I think it's behind here.

(GRUNTING)

Broken down sprinkler?

No, the lab uses
a Halon fire-suppression
system.

So where's the water
coming from?

Hey, Henry.
I was just headed
your way.

Okay, so G.D.'s
water systems
are in the clear,

no leaky pipes,
no overflows, nada.

Where's this water
coming from?
Lake Archimedes.

Okay, wasn't expecting that.

Yeah, you and me both.

I analyzed the water
from the pranks

and the high content
of Artemia salina
was the same in each.

It's from our lake,
no question.

(STUTTERING)
Back it up, Artie,
who?

Artemia salina.
Tiny brachiopods.

Fowler.

Whatever it is
you're doing,

does it have to be done
on the tippy side
of the boat?

Do you really think
I arbitrarily
just picked a spot

to bypass
the electrical system?

My weight hasn't
put us over the brink.

I don't think a few
more minutes is likely
to make a difference.

Likely is the word
I'd like to focus on.

Well, I am going to focus
on my plan to move us back
from the edge of oblivion.

Your plan?

Which is based
on my plan.

Yes, Jack,
you are the genius.

Wait, that's it.
Isn't it?

That's what?

Why you haven't
told your family.

I don't measure up
against the geniuses
you brought home.

Come on. You have to know
after all these years
the differences in our IQ

don't mean anything to me.

Ah! So you admit
there's a difference!

Of course
there's a difference!

(SCOFFS) What are the odds
that we would be
exactly the same?

Well, I don't know.
I'm not bright enough
to figure it out.

You know what, Jack?
This is your issue,
not mine.

What do you think?

I go around comparing
your IQ with
my previous husbands?

I do now!

(LAUGHS)
You know what?

Me and my genius IQ
are going to go back
to saving our lives.

(GASPING)

Whoa!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

At least we survived
the descent.

Yeah.

(SIGHING)

So we're good?
Yeah, we're great.

It's not what...

(SIGHS)

Never mind.

(SIGHING)

You know, when we don't
get back on time,
Jo will know what to do.

She's built for this
sort of rescue.

Great.

Maybe she'll wear
her sexy cat suit
for the occasion.

(SIGHING)

I saw you two in the corner
of G.D. This morning
whispering together.

We were whispering
about this.

She's the one
who helped me
pull it off.

Well, look how great
it's turned out.

You're... You're still
hung up on her.

That was a fake relationship
between a fake her
and a fake me

in a fake computer world.

A fake computer world
designed to follow
a plausible course of events.

If you think that
I spend my day

comparing computer world
Jo to you?

That's your issue.
Not mine.

(SIGHS)

Jack, what are we doing?

Is that a trick question?
Because I'm not very bright,
so...

We never used to
be like this.

I mean, our life
is becoming nuts.

I hadn't noticed.

I guess
it's always nuts.

But we have always
been able to get through
anything together.

Jack, I'm not
worried about Jo

or even the differences
between us.

I'm worried about
losing what we have.

You really think
that's going to happen?

I think that it's
already happening.

We have gotten so caught up
in the romance of things,

we haven't stopped
to think about reality.

The merging
of our households,

our family and the chaos
of it all.

Jack, our kids
will become our kids.

What if things
don't work out?

I never thought about
it not working out.

Yeah, well, there's
a lot at stake here.

I mean, it's...

It's something that
we have to consider.

What you and I
have built together
is sacred to me.

And if we do this...

And it doesn't work out...

We will never
be able to go back
to the way things were.

Before.

At this moment,

you'll get a remarkable view
of the famous
Archimedes Trench.

But you wouldn't
want to take the plunge
into that abyss.

That thing is crazy deep!

Fowler, I found
your missing brachiopods.

Yeah, along with
a cubic ton of lake water

that you neglected
to mention.

Oh, well, the water's
not important.

Well, Dr. Fargo
might feel differently

when he's swimming
to his death.

Do you know how many labs,
how many projects
you've destroyed today?

(SIGHING) I was trying
to fine tune
my targeting system

before the marine lab
opens tomorrow.

But it seems that
particle entanglement

is more or perhaps
less entangled than
I originally anticipated.

And Dr. Fargo's
recent redaction
of my recent redaction

is contingent upon proof
that my matter-relocator
has practical applications,

hence the brachiopods.

Okay, less why,
more how.

(SIGHING) Okay,
I have been attempting
to transfer

a sample of Artemia salina
from Lake Archimedes
all day.

Now my readouts show
that it's been both taken
and deposited, but...

But you flooded
G.D. Instead.

You know,
I bet someone's
Feynman Day antics

are responsible
for scrambling
my directional signal,

not to mention
my job security.

Okay, listen, I'm going to
deal with the pranksters
but in the meantime,

I want this
machine kept off.

Hey.

Someone left the faucet on?

No, someone left
Feynman Day on.

Would you please
go and shut down

any Section Five
pranks still in play?

Look, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,

but those guys aren't
going to listen to me.

Whether you believe it
or not,
you're head of Section Five,

so just stop acting
like a 12-year-old
and man up.

Okay.

Hmm.

But if this
is a prank...
Zane...

I'm not interested
in stooping to your level.

Oh, my level. Read...

Wait...

Does that look like
a chunk of the new
submersible to you?

Well, to me,
it looks like
a key section

of the digital
integrated circuitry

that powers every operating
system onboard.

Worse than chunk?

Yeah. Little bit.
(SIGHS)

Well, the mobile lab's
not too mobile anymore.

Um, how'd that get here?

Fowler relocated it.

Henry, please answer.

And the paladin
rolls another 20.

It's not very fair,

your being able to control
your roll so precisely
and all!

Yeah, but he's on
our team so shabam!

Headshot!

(PHONE RINGING)
Uh, hold on.

I'm taking a sick day, Jo.
This better be important.

JO: Fargo, we have
an emergency
search and rescue.

We need you
at G.D.

Uh, when you say
emergency,
is that with a little "E?"

Doug, go!
Yeah, but we're...

It's not like
I won't be here
when you get back.

Don't worry, Dr. Fargo,
I'll watch after
your girl for you.

I'll call you
if anything happens.

Okay.

(SIGHING) My turn?

Tell me you found them.

Yeah, we're working on it.

Jack and Allison
did not take
the programed route.

What about communications?

No go.
We've got rescue divers
combing the water.

They're doing high
and low resolution
sonar sweeps of the lake.

The sweep's complete.

No hits.
How is that possible?

Okay, they're down
there somewhere.
We... We missed them.

Impossible, unless...

The Archimedes Trench.

It's more than
a mile deep

and that lab will not
survive the pressure
for very long.

Well, how do we
get to them?

We can borrow
a submersible
from the nearest naval base,

but that'll take hours
to prep and transport.

How much oxygen
do they have?

Nine hours, maybe more.

If that capsule's
still intact,
we'll get them back.

I trust you're both
enjoying the lobster de love.

This succulent invertebrate
is one of Lake Archimedes
more voracious bottom feeders.

And it's a Denison
of the aqua farms

you're now passing
on the right.
(BEEPING)

Really?

One thing works down here
and it's got to be him.

Every seafood lover
has had a bite

of one of these
succulent creatures.

Any seafood lover
wouldn't have it
any other way.

Enjoy and I'll be back.

Can you please
stop banging?

It's clearly not working.

Clearly.

(SIGHING)
Okay, listen...

I'm sure everyone's
working hard to find us

so while we wait,
can we please not fight?

Or bang things?

Okay.

Who's in the mood
for something sweet?

Oh. Oh!

Oh!
Oh!

Oh! The pressure!
Go! Go!

Go!

ALLISON: Oh!
Oh, my God!

Come on!

What's the point
of an airlock
if it's not air tight?

I mean,
can we seal this?

Jack, I don't think
we can stop this lab
from filling with water.

Don't mean to be butt-inski
but might I suggest
a dessert wine?

Sure! What goes good
with a watery grave?

Um, I'd have to check
the Café Diem database

and get back to you
in a jiff.

Jack, wait!

If he can connect
to an outside database

then he has or had
a super Wi-Fi connection.

I realized it
just as it left my hand.

Okay.

We might have
lucked out.

If I can get this
thing working again.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Okay.

Mayday! Mayday!

Vincent, what are you...
Hello? Anyone there?

Can you hear me?
Okay, we need help.

We just got vortexed
or something.

Oh, my God, it's Jack

using Virtual Vincent's
super Wi-Fi connection
to communicate.

We need to open up
a two-way signal
and lose the visual.

(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Then we fell into a trench

and now we're in
the airlock
which, by the way...

Is not as safe
as it sounds!

(OVER SPEAKER)
All right, Jack,
it's Henry.

Henry!

We have a submersible
on the way.

It'll take a few hours,
but even in the airlock,

you shouldn't be
in any danger
of losing oxygen.

We'll drown before
we run out of oxygen.

Henry, uh, we're going to
be under water in less...

Than 10 minutes.

There's got to be
another way
to get down there.

Fowler.
Hey, turn that
thing back on.

Huh?
Now. Okay, he can
relocate them.

He brought up a piece
of the lab earlier.

It doesn't work.

Zane, you shut down
all the pranks, right?

Yeah, although none of them
utilize an energy spectrum

that would have messed
with Fowler's system.

(SIGHING) That's because
it wasn't a prank.

What?

I did some tinkering
since we last spoke

and it turns out
my targeting system
is faulty.

Even if we had
their precise location
I couldn't pinpoint them.

Well, Zane, you've been
targeting me all day. How?

I programed this baby
to lock onto your DNA,

making you the bulls-eye
of an infrasonic meta-material
changing frequency.

That's...
That's kind of brilliant.

Yeah, I can pleather
her at will.

No, for saving
Carter and Allison.

We have their DNA
on file.

If we can program
Zane's DNA
target system

into Fowler's
matter relocater,

then maybe
we've got a sh*t.

Jack, it's a long sh*t,

but we're going to use
Fowler's device to relocate
you and Allison back to G.D.

I know it sounds risky,
but it's all we've got.

Allison, we're trusting
our lives to this thingy

that relocated a slab
of beef into oblivion.

What if it mixes
our DNA with...

Like fish and we end up
like mer-people?

I mean, do they
even think about
stuff like that?

Jack, we have to stop
worrying about
what might happen

and start focusing on
what we can do right now.

All right. Good idea.

(SIGHING) Yeah.

So what do you
want to do?

Okay.

(LOUD CLANGING)

Okay, okay.

Okay. Okay, listen,

the pressure is crushing
the lab like a tin can.
Right.

Okay, if we can
manually disengage

while there's still
enough air in here.

Right, well,
then we can float.

Well, we can hope
for neutral buoyancy
at best.

But we should be able to
get enough separation

to stop the lab's collapse
from sucking us in.

Okay. Okay.
How do we do it?

There are four emergency
release levers under us.

You have to pull them
all to disengage.

Okay. I got it.
I'm on it. Okay.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Jack...

Jack!

It won't budge.
I think it got damaged
during the fall.

Did you get it?

DNA on demand.
Where do you want it?

Right here.

(INHALING DEEPLY)

(GASPING)

(SOBBING)

The matter relocator
will be operative

in a few minutes
so just sit tight.

All right!
So we wait!

Okay.
Okay.

There's just one
more thing.
What?

I've settled on a date.

What?

Marry me, Jack.
Right now.

Are you sure?
I mean, I pictured
something a little different.

And of course,
once we do this
we can't go back.

I don't want to
go back.

Okay.

Henry, uh, you ready
for some on-the-fly
officiating?

Uh, I don't know.

I... I was kind of looking
forward to being best man.

Get greedy, be both.

JO OVER SPEAKER:
Well, who's going to be
the maid of honor?

I'm talking to her now.

All right, then, um...

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered
here today...

Uh, Henry, how about
the CliffsNotes version?

Right. Do you, Jack Carter,
take Allison Blake

to be your lawfully
wedded wife,

for richer or for poorer
for as long
as you both shall live?

I do.

And do you,
Allison Blake,
take Jack Carter

to be your lawfully
wedded husband,

so long as you
both shall live?

I do.

Then if there are
no objections...

Oh, hold on!
What?

Just... I mean,
you're not...

We're not just doing
this because...

I mean, we're really
doing this, right?

I love you, Jack.

Good answer.

Bring us home, Henry!

Then I now pronounce
you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Jack, Allison,
can you hear me?
Jack?

Jack? Allison?
Can you hear me?

I have a lock
on their DNA
signatures.

Hit it! Hit it!

(BOTH GASPING)

May I present
Doctor and Mr. Jack Carter?

(ALL CHEERING)

Jack, we're married.

How does it feel?

Wet.

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

Okay. Here you go.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

(JO LAUGHS)

By the way,
you owe me a buck.

What? You're...

You bet against
the wedding?

I didn't think
you'd actually
go through with it.

Well,
you proved me wrong,
so congrats, Carter.

Thank you.

We're still going through
with that bachelor party
though, right?

Well, I think it...
It... It's something
we can discuss.

Wow. You guys,
that was so exciting.

Uh, Fowler,
you're fired.

I kind of figured.

Hey.

So thanks for helping
Jack with my surprise.

And for being
my maid of honor.

Well, I... I was
the only girl here, so.

No.

You really are
my maid of honor.

You can cry now.

Thank you.

(LAUGHS)

Chicks,
what you going to do?

(CHUCKLING) Okay.

Don't waste a second
with her. Not one.

Congratulations, Carter.

Thanks, Fargo.

Jack, go be
with your wife.

Right.

So, what's the deal
with me running
Section Five?

It was my idea.
You like?

Uh, yeah, but why?

Because you deserve it.

No. No, I don't.

Everyone knows
I'm a maturity-challenged
screw-up with little to...

No capacity
for leadership.

That's what everyone
knew about me too.

It took a timeline shift
to throw me
into the deep end,

but I swam.
So will you.

(INDISTINCT)

Hey, you want to
talk about it?

No, I'm...

It's about Holly.

Hey. You're here
bright and early.

I got to make
a good impression
on my subordinates.

Look, Zane, I may have
been a little too uptight
about Feynman Day.

I was wrong.

That's okay.

I would apologize
for your wardrobe
malfunction

except your butt
just looked so damn good
in that outfit,

but I get it.

It's your job to make sure
everyone's safe.

And you take it seriously.
I can respect that.

Wow.

I lobbed you a soft ball
and you took the high road.

Fargo picked
the right man
for the job.

(CHUCKLING)

Uh, yeah, well,
I hope you're right

because I just gave myself
an assignment
that I can't screw up.

Fargo gave me his trust
and I'm going to give him
something back.

What's that?

Holly.

She's dying again.

We were hoping
SARAH's processors
could handle her, but...

Is there a computer
that can?
No.

Whatever Holly is now,
she's more than just
information as we know it.

Sustaining her
is going to take
a breakthrough

in computer
programing that...
Only you can do.

Exactly.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Identity confirmed.
Welcome, Mr. Donovan.

(BEEPING)

Hmm.

I'm sure your butt
looks pretty good too.

(CHUCKLING)

Morning, boss. Mrs. Boss.
Don't worry,
I'm not staying.

I just thought you might
want somebody to
drop off the kids today.

Oh.
Oh!

Andy, that's very
thoughtful of you.
Yeah.

And I am going to take Jenna
to the new animation exhibit
after school.

You know, to give you
guys a few more hours
of alone time.

Yeah, I'm going to
get out of your hair too.

You guys have been
more than patient

and I can't keep ignoring
my responsibilities,

but I'm thinking
of keeping
the beard though.

I'm not sure if that's
a good idea necessarily.

Oh, and I can't
technically leave,

but I can go
into sleep mode

to give you privacy
as long as you want...

Okay. Okay. Stop. Um...

Nobody's going anywhere.

Fargo, in light of Holly,
I think maybe your
responsibilities can wait.

And, Andy,
why don't you
take a sick day?

Kevin, Jenna, you are
playing hooky today.

So you guys
really want to
deal with total chaos

on your first full day
as husband and wife?

You bet we do.

Our life is total chaos.

And we wouldn't want it
any other way.

So, come on.

What's this game
we're playing?

SARAH: A fantasy
role playing game.

We can always add
a few more party members
to the quest.

All right.
Can I be Sheriff?

(LAUGHS)

(INDISTINCT TALKING)