03x06 - X Marks the Ed/ From Here to Ed

[bunniefuu]

Br-br-br-br-br...

Eddy: ahh... This is
the life, huh, boys?

We catch us some fish,

Sell them to a fish buyer guy,

He hands over a big wad of cash,

And bingo! We're rich.

Got any s?

I hardly think we'll
be catching anything

In ed's backyard pond, eddy.

Oh!

Fish! Fish!

Eddy: it's mine!

Reel it in, ed!

Ed: it's a fighter, eddy!

Oh, please. No creature
could survive in this pond.

If it's not of this
world, it's mine!

Ugh! Ugh!

Edd and eddy: what is that?!

Ed: oh, goody, goody!

It's my freezer experiment!

I wondered where sarah hid it.

Well, that's a keeper!

Edd and eddy: no, ed!

All: aah! Whoa!

Who brought the tartar sauce?

Eddy: ed!

How are we supposed
to get ahead in life

If you keep wrecking everything?

What are you looking at?

Get your finger off my head, ed.

I spy with my little eye

Something that is red.

What's that?

I've seen this before, eddy!

I forget where.

Let's rub it!

Ed: there you go. Ha ha ha.

Edd: really, ed,
that's so unsanitary.

May I have a look?

Why, eddy, it's nothing
more than a pimple.

Congratulations!

It seems puberty has opened
your door to adulthood.

I'm too handsome to
have zits, double-d!

What if somebody sees me?

Oh, please, eddy.

Pimples are a natural
phase of growing up

As normal as mother's
charcoal filter shoe inserts.

Ed: I make a game
out of mine, eddy,

Because I'm productive.

You can play connect-the-dot.

See? It's a boat.

Jonny: ok. I'm watching, plank.

Hey, jonny! Come
and look at eddy!

Aah!

Ed?

Edd: don't you think
you should respect.

Eddy's sensitivity
to this matter?

Ed: not a problem.

Mum's the word, double-d.

Hey! What are you
doing? Stop that!

Do not look at eddy, jonny.

Hey, eddy!

[Gasps]

What happened to your head?

I, uh, I have no idea what
you're talking about.

Is that a zit?

Uh, no.

You look like a
lighthouse, eddy.

Ha ha ha! Or even a
one-humped camel, huh, jonny?

Plank says, "eddy
should join a circus!"

Ha ha ha ha!

Yeah. Eddy's already
pitched a tent on his head.

Stop it, you two!

Can't you see eddy's
having a difficult time with...

Eddy?

[Knock knock]

Eddy, are you all right?

Just one minute.

Hey, guys. What do you think?

Dad's rug really
does the trick, huh?

Ed: att*ck the wig!

Ed!

You're violating a hairpiece!

Wigs scare me, double-d.

Edd: eddy, we're wasting time.

Have a seat, please.

I have a cosmetic remedy

That should hide
your papule problem.

Oh, great. Now I
got to wear makeup?

Edd: I've constructed
a special bib.

In case of spillage.

[Hums]

Nice.

Let us begin, shall we?

This foundation should conceal

Your small
inflammatory swelling.

Eddy: I feel like a sissy.

Well, would you look at that?

It's hardly
noticeable, isn't it, ed?

Well?

I claim this planet
in the name of ed...

Bringer of bacon.

Eddy: out of the
way! Let me see!

It grew! The zit's
getting bigger, double-d!

Check it out!

I don't know which
head to look at!

Girl: what's happening, guys?

Rolf must see this
blemished outcast, yes?

Knock yourself out, rolf!

We're making a k*lling, plank!

Oh, rolf has seen this many
times in the old country.

Eddy, you don't look so good.

I think I saw it move!

This is where I'm
gonna bust a gut!

[All laughing]

Holy cow!

Kevin: don't get too
close. It might pop!

Gee, plank, I'm not sure if we
can take eddy out on the road.

Boy, eddy, your zit's
really getting big!

All this attention seems to
be irritating eddy's blemish.

Leave me alone!

Eddy, wait!

Kevin: there goes
the ugly dorkling.

[Laughter]

Are we just about done?

Please leave in an
orderly manner.

In all my years,

I have never seen such
deplorable behavior

Over one's
elevation of the skin!

Man, eddy's got a real
honker, huh, double dweeb?

Tootle-oo, double-d.

Not you, ed.

Rolf: ed boys!

Rolf has great sympathy
for the two-headed ogre.

Escort the ed boy
to rolf's in one hour.

You shall not be disappointed!

Edd: eddy? Rolf's
gonna help, eddy.

Eddy?

Allow me, double-d.

Ed's going fishing.

Um, ed?

Here we go.

It's a whopper, double-d!

Rolf scares me.

You can count on
me for support, eddy.

Ed: who brought
the tartar sauce?

[Cameras click]

Jonny: over here, weirdo!

Nasty.

Get a closeup, plank! Woo-hoo!

Wait! You're all in the
way of my competition!

Vultures!

Rolf: come, my pustule friend,

We must begin.

Please, marinate in the lard.

Don't go away now.

I wish I had a zit.

Ed, you have a
boat on your back.

Move!

Rolf requires your assistance.

Rolf: double-d ed boy,
massage the squid.

Half-wit ed boy,
grate the turnip.

Today, rolf will be showing you

How to prepare...

Carbuncle of the flesh stew.

[Applause]

An ancestral recipe handed down

Through many
pimply-faced elders.

Where is the squid?

Right here, rolf!

Rolf: stop!

Oh.

Thank you. Now we add
one softened squid and stir.

Careful not to bruise
the fish entrails.

Good, yes?

Last, we add the
pickled towel of mirth

And let simmer for
days and nights.

Eddy: what?! Days?!

Do not fester, as rolf
has thought ahead...

And pre-made this stuff.

Are you ready for the
anointment of the stew, ed boy?

Will you hurry up? My
arms are falling asleep.

Okey-dokey.

Be very still.

Away with you,
protuberance of the flesh!

Eddy: aah!

What happened?

Silence! We must be quick!

[Screaming]

Eddy's so lucky.

Do you think I can have a
chicken peck at my head, double-d?

Good-bye, as you may not
see your friend for hours.

Rolf waits now.

Rolf, we're here
to pick up eddy.

Eddy? Remember?

You helped him with
his pimple problem?

Oh, sure!

Ugh!

Follow rolf.

You shall see the
miracle of the stew.

Tell me what happens, ed.

You have healed well, ed boy.

Your head resembles
what it once was.

[Smaller voice] what
happened to my head?

It is so puny!

This is worthy of a nobel prize!

What'd you do to me, you quack?

Quack? I am rolf.

You're a quack!
Quack! Quack! Quack!

I am not a duck. I am rolf!

How did you know
what ingredients

Would react in such a way

As to come to this conclusion?

What?

Ed: my turn for shrinkage, rolf!

Fix me!

Tell me!

Shrink me!

Stay back!

Get him!

Eddy: wait till I get
my hands on you!

Fix my head, you quack!

Ed: ha ha ha ha! He's strong!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Gee willikers, are
those penguins?

You better believe it, girly!

You're in the land
of snow and eskimos,

And how do you get around in this
frozen food section of the world?

On ed's polar sled ride!

Thankfully, mother buys
eco-friendly detergent.

His bark is bigger
than his bite.

Darn huskies.

Cents and ride through
the northern light bulb.

Wee! I love sleigh rides!

Let's sit up front, plank.

Move it, you mutt!

, , ...

Whoa! Whoa! Can I mush, eddy?

Yeah, yeah. Just
don't get any on me, ed.

[Panting]

Ed: mush!

Look at me!

I am a musher!

Mush! Ha ha ha ha!

Oops. Sorry, kevin.

No problem, dude.

Hey, who invited you?

Edd: ed! Careful, this is the
direct path of our sleigh!

Mush!

Ed, turn the sleigh!

Ed!

What the... Oh!

[Screaming]

Jonny: farewell, cruel world!

My sign!

Jonny: my legs!

My igloo!

Awesome.

You did that on
purpose, didn't you?

I just got my ball, dork.

Me and plank want
our money back.

My colors are running, eddy.

Give me my quarter!

What do I look like? A bank?

No refunds.

Oh, gee!

Aah! Oof! Aah!

Nice.

Come on, jimmy.

Wait up, guys!

Polar bear att*ck!

Kevin: later, dork.

If it wasn't for you,

I'd be swimming in
jawbreakers right now!

I have no idea what
you're dorking about.

Oh, you know what
I'm dorking about.

Put it behind you, eddy.

This was all just an unfortunate
unforeseen circumstance.

Pickle?

Hello. Good-bye.
Hello. Good-bye.

Kevin: rolf! Quit showing off.

And pass the ball...
You owe me money!

You're cruising for a bruising,

You little twerp!

Eddy: where did everybody go?

Well, eddy, with
that, I guess we can...

Who's that? Kevin?

You jarhead! You owe me a buck!

Where are you?
Show yourself, you...

Edd: um, eddy, kevin left.

That's it! Run, hide,

But I hope you're
a light sleeper

Because I'll be all
over you like a bad itch.

It's w*r, I tell you!

Ed: slide on the slope.

Slide on the slope.

Slide on the slope.

Slide on the slope.

You're on your own, eddy.

I refuse to partake

In games of vengeance.

Oh, really?

How about I blow the whistle

On what's under that
hat of yours, double-d?

But you wouldn't
dare, would you?

[Whistling]

Eddy: ha ha ha ha!

Report, double-d.

Kevin is at leisure,
unsuspecting,

And quite vulnerable, eddy.

A sitting duck.

When ed shows up,
we'll ambush the sap.

You stick out like a sore thumb.

Haven't you ever
heard of camouflage?

Don't toy with me, eddy.

I got the stuff to
throw at kevin, eddy!

That-a boy, ed!

Double-d, take a whiff of this!

Edd: ed, where did
you exhume this from?

Bric-a-brac from
under my bed, double-d.

Ed...

Do you know there's
a turtle on your head?

Yep!

Aha! The ultimate
implement for humiliation!

Naw, that's my lunch
from school last year.

P.u.!

It's perfect!

Ooh! Ooh!

[Quack quack]

Let's move out.

Oh, like that really
meant anything.

Eddy: there he is.

I know an underground route.

Ed, eddy's overzealous attempt

To reform this
erroneous altercation

Is destined to fail.

[Passes gas]

Napkin, please.

I should've known better.

Ha ha ha ha!

[Splashing and gurgling]

That was close!

Close? We're at the same
location as when we started.

We went in a complete
circle past heaven.

That's to confuse him,

Just in case he saw us.

Duck, you idiots!

Ed: quack!

Suburbs are weird.

Good one, ed.

He's sure to be on to us now.

Look at him.

He thinks he's so smart.

Oh, I got an inkling.

Hey, jonny.

Whoa!

What a freak.

Ok. Let's do it.

Do what?

We've trekked
half this cul-de-sac

And accomplished nothing.

Take this and nail
kevin right in the head.

Me? Yeah, you.

He'll know we're up to something

If me or ed go.

I can't just go up
to kevin and hit him.

I have nothing to do with
your misguided adventure.

Go on, double-d. Ha ha ha ha!

Yeah, you know you want to.

Ha ha! Stop it!

Ha ha! Ooh, I'm ticklish!

Hee hee! Wait! Please!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Kevin: hey, double-d.

What's so funny, hombre?

Why, I'm just dandy.
How about you?

Looks like your
lunch is leaking.

Oh, um, is that a
waldron ratchet?

Yeah, I just got it.

It torques the bolt so
the slippage is the right...

Pound per... Where'd he go?

Dork.

Oh, dear.

I can't believe I'm about to...

[Kevin whistling]

Did you see that?

Kevin tampered with our a*mo!

I'm covered in filth.

Ow. Contaminated... Luncheon.

Eddy: don't worry
about it, stinky.

We'll get him, right, ed?

Ed: I'm hungry.

Is that a giant...

Eddy: right there. Hold it!

Look at him. Plotting
his next move against us.

Well, he's in for a surprise

Because we're hitting him first.

Why do I get the impression

That kevin doesn't
even know we exist?

Kevin: cool. See
you later, nazz.

Eddy: hurry up with
the pancake syrup, ed!

Gotcha!

He'll ride right
into that syrup,

Scream for help,
then bingo! We hit him!

I abhor v*olence, eddy.

Now you and ed can hit him.

Fine!

Ready and waiting!

Here he comes! Hide!

Eek! I'm stuck!

Eddy: get him!

Ed: prepare to meet your maker!

Aunt ruthie?

[Whistling]

Man, he's crafty!

Don't be so modest, eddy.

It must have taken
you at least seconds

To come up with this.

It's all your fault!

If you'd helped, we'd be at home

Complaining about nothing to do.

Oh, now it's my fault.

Yeah. Really?

Really? Yeah.

Yeah, really.

Very well then.

Shall we proceed to you
getting your own way yet again?

After you.

Wait up, guys!

[Yawn]

This is so sweet, double-d!

Thank you, eddy.

No one would ever
suspect mother nature

To harbor a spring-loaded
circus cannon

And blow innocent bystanders

To kingdom come!

I'm rubbing off
on you, double-d.

Get in the cannon, ed.

Kevin's gonna get hit
with pounds of lump.

Put this on, ed.

It'll protect the turtle.

Ready to be fired!

Come on! We don't have all day!

Fire, double-d!

Did I go?

Don't look at me.

I already live
with enough guilt.

[Eddy breathing fast]

Boom goes the weasel!

Aah! Aah!

Whoa!

Aah!

[Crash]

He's too good.

[Ring]

What is this?

I give. You win.
Let's call it a day.

What are you talking about?

Well, kevin, eddy would like
to extend an olive branch,

So to speak.

Yeah. So just shake my hand.

You guys are gonna
make my turtle cry.

Eddy: yeow!

Jonny: wow! Hey, guys,

I'm inside my own head!

Far out, huh?

Woo! Too weird! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh! Ooh... Get out here, kevin!

You did that on purpose!

Give me my buck!

Ed, edd n eddy!

Br-br-br-br-br...