03x11 - Brother, Can You Spare an Ed?/ The Day the Ed Stood Still

[bunniefuu]

[Whistling]

Edd: brrrr, yeah!

[Playing hawaiian music]

Double d, that sounds so real.

Don't rub salt on
the wound, eddy.

You know how much I
detest this instrument.

Come on. You're setting
a mood, double d...

The music, the plan, the lump.

♪ , , ,

♪ Stick it all the
way out the door ♪

It's a gold mine, I tell you!

Hula dance lessons are huge!

In a pig's eye.

Sarah: he's over here, jimmy!

Tell him, sarah. Tell him.

Ha ha ha!

Ed, stop your wiggling around.

Stick it underneath the ground.

Listen to me, you idiot!

I want you to...
Get lost, twerp!

Ed's working.

Buzz off, eddy!

[Crash]

Sarah: fathead!

Why, you little...

Give it a break, will you?

Sarah: pay attention, ed.

Go down to the candy store

And buy me and jimmy some...

Fudge, rich and thick
with lots of nuts!

Yum! Mmm!

Yum, yum.

Sarah: here's my
allowance money.

Don't lose it, or
you're dog meat.

Ed: I can do this that, sarah.

Oh, you better.

Now, go, shoo, scram.

It has been absorbed.

You can count on me, yep,

Or my name's not,
um... [Birds tweeting]

Ed!

Maybe.

Gee, ed,

That loot looks
pretty disgusting, pal.

I mean, it's all stained and
wrinkled-like, my friend.

Why don't you let me

Clean and press that
cash for you, bosom buddy?

Clean and press?

Makes you want to
throw up, don't it?

Let me take that for you

So you don't contaminate

Those badly drawn fingers.

Can't do that, eddy.

Baby sister of mine

Has trusted me
with her allowance.

So fudge I must buy it with!

Apart from ed's deplorable
sentence structure,

I'm proud of his devotion

To his younger sister.
Aren't you, eddy?

[Whimpers]

Eddy, please, have some decency.

Don't touch me!

Eddy: wait!

Where you going, ed?

To buy my baby sister
and her persnickety friend

Fudge with lots of nuts.

You mean jawbreakers, ed.

Jawbreakers?

What are you, a parrot?

You've got enough moola there

For sweet, everloving
jawbreakers, big boy!

Edd: stop right there.

It's sarah's money,

And if fudge sarah wants,

Fudge sarah gets.

The guy's cracked, ed.

I know that you know that
jawbreakers are the way to go.

Don't you listen to him, ed.

Sarah's depending on you.

Forget, sarah! Jawbreakers, ed.

Ed, you gave sarah your word.

And sarah gave him cash.

Jawbreakers, ed.

Stand firm and deliver, ed.

Let integrity be your guide.

Double d's right, ed.

Integrity in latin
means, "buy jawbreakers."

Get the picture?

Yes.

No, ed.

No?

That money doesn't
belong to you,

And you are obligated
and responsible

For its expenditure.

Fudge is the honorable path.

That's stupid!

Come on, ed.

You know you want to.

Who's gonna know?

Who?

You'll know, ed, and the
guilt will smother you

Like so many wet blankets.

Hey, tinker bell.

Let's chitchat.

Oww! No, wait! Ow!

Unlikely!

Jawbreakers, ed.

No, ed. Fudge.

Jawbreakers!

Fudge!

Jawbreakers! Jawbreakers!

F-fudge! Eddy!

I said, jawbreaker!

He went in.

[Children laughing]

[Grunting]

Eddy: mm. Mm. Ha ha ha!

Ed: ohh!

You made the right choice,

My fine fish-faced friend.

I'm speechless.

I mean, how can you
two just sit there

Drooling over your
ill-gotten gains?

Have you no shame?

Who is she, double d?

Ed, give double d his cut.

I refuse to be part
of any of this, eddy.

Open wide and say bob, double d.

Not if it was the last edible
substance on our planet, ed.

[Moans]

Ohh!

How can something
so bad taste so good?

When someone else
coughs up for it, that's how.

Ha ha ha!

You were supposed to
let it melt in your mouth, ed,

Not swallow it.

Aw, it's kicking, the
little whatchamacallit.

How could I do such a thing?

I don't even know
who I am anymore!

You should write your name

On your underwear, double d.

See? I'm "hand wash only."

What's you?

Me?

Self-abomination, eddy!

Ed was entrusted with a task,

And I became embroiled

In the breach of that trust.

My hands are contaminated

By the filth and chicanery.

Oh, what dastardly
deed have we sowed?

Who writes this guy's stuff?

Here, ed. Give this to sarah

And tell her it's fudge.

Fudge? Sarah!

Dog meat!

Enough already!

As long as we sidestep sarah

And keep our big mouths shut,

The twerp will
forget all about it.

Sarah and jimmy: ♪
the fudge is here!

♪ The fudge is here,
the fudge is here ♪

Eddy.

Find it yet, jimmy?

Not in here, sarah.

It's not here either, jimmy.

I don't see fudge
anywhere, sarah.

Where the heck's my fudge, ed?

[Whimpers]

Shh!

Well?!

[Whimpers]

I... I... Spent your money

On jawbreakers, sarah!

Have pity, as I cannot
control my brain.

You what?

Wait!

Aah!

Dearest sarah,

I speak for all of us when I say

How sorry we are in
spending your allowance.

Is that so?

Why, yes.

Isn't that right, fellows?

And are prepared to
pay you back every cent...

With the current market-bearing
interest, of course.

Eddy: what are
you talking about?!

Interest?

We can buy even
more fudge, sarah.

Deal.

[Horse whinnies]

How are we supposed
to pay her back?

We're broke.

You got us into this. Well?

Dog meat, eddy!

[Panting]

Ha!

Wedgies?

You can't be serious, eddy.

Step right up, folks!

Your dream come true.

Give a wedgie, just cents.

Wedgies?

Hike them high while
they're still dry!

Whoa there, valued customer.

Not me... Them.

That will be cents.

Delighted.

Wait one doggone second here!

Me first, kevin!

Ho ho ho!

Hey! Let me see that.

You're short!

It's mine!

Ha!

Aah!

I want my money!

[Moans]

Ha ha ha!

How mortifying.

One more for the gipper, kevin!

You dorks are bent.

I'm out of here.

Don't leave now.

I can set the boys up
for another round.

What do you say?

Not for me, man.

I'm spent.

Aw, come on!

Sarah: my money now!

You know you want to.

It's a smorgasbord of fun,

A casserole of laughs!

Good lord. What's he up to now?

So what's the catch, eddy?

Catch? Um... Catch
whatever falls out,

And it's yours to keep.

That's how piã'atas
work, johnny boy.

Piã'atas?!

Me first, johnny!

Cough up a quarter
and go to town.

Right on!

Here you go, eddy.

Sarah: give me that!

Johnny, please,
open your eyes, lad.

Do we look like piã'atas?

Ouch, eeh, ooh, ow, eeh!

A shoe? Boring!

Look what I got, plank.
Coconut earmuffs!

Now, about that interest.

I can see right through
your horrible plan, eddy,

And if you think
this will withhold

Our giving sarah her money back,

You've got another
thing coming, mister.

Oww! Yow! Ooh!

Ed's underwear! Oh!

[Gags]

Soap! I need soap!

Hold on there, trigger.

We're just getting started.

We owe sarah
money with interest,

So you two get
back in that tree,

And I'll get a slingshot, and...

Edd: I've had just about enough.

For one day, thank you.

What about paying
sarah back, double d?

Oh, we'll pay back, eddy.

[Whispering]

What are you looking at?

Aah!

Kids: yay! All right!

Sweet. Nice one, nazz.

That was fun.

Who's up next?

It's our turn, huh, plank?

Yip-yip-yoo!

Oh, no!

Aah! Uhn!

Step right up, rolf.

It only costs one penny.

You must be pulling
rolf's finger.

Rolf shall return!

I'll just take your turn.

Till you get back, then.

At a penny a turn,

It may take a while
to pay you back, sarah.

That's ok, double d.

Eddy: don't do it, kev... Ohh!

I've got all the
time in the world.

And I've got a jar
on my buttocks.

Rolf would like this
many goes at the ed boy.

Eddy: you've got
to be kidding me.

Hey, wait.

That's enough to cover
sarah's allowance.

Right, sarah? Stand back,

As rolf has eaten
mama's pickled cabbage.

Ye-ahh!

Oh, man.

Oh, me!

Uh!

Eddy: hey, useless!

Put those rings down and
take a load off your eyes.

Ha ha ha.

Very funny, eddy.

But in order to attract a crowd,

One needs to demonstrate

The use of these
archaic arcade games.

Is that what
you're trying to do?

Step aside. Let the
pro demonstrate.

[Buzz]

Whak me!

Hold still, lumpy,
so I can hit you!

Edd: bravo. Well done, eddy.

You've convinced me.

Your skill and expertise
in mundane, misleading,

And moth-ridden carnival games

Makes me want to
throw caution to the wind

And give you all my money.

You're making fun
of me, aren't you?

Monster!

I want to be a monster!

Look at me!

I am a monster!

Waaah! Grrr!

Blaagh!

I am just a monster
in a boy's body.

If only for a day, I
wish I could enjoy

The serenity of ed's world.

Hey!

Blaagh!

Why do you always have to...

Wreck everything?

But, eddy, I just
want to be a monster.

I was quite enamored by
ed's impersonation, eddy.

What are you flapping
your gums about now?

Humor me.

What if ed really was a monster?

Think about it.

Ed's overactive imagination

Could attract customers, eddy.

I said, i... [Ding]

Customers are
practically suckers.

I like that. Monster for edd!

Good I will be.

[Tools clanking]

You better not
mess this up, lumpy.

I will be the best
monster I can be, eddy.

Edd: I'm sure you will, ed.

Now try this on.

Wow.

I feel transformed, guys.

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Hey, look. Ed's got a chin.

I'll just go get a mirror, ed.

You look very convincing.

You're a natural, ed.

You should have
been born a monster.

Aahoorraah... Uhhrrrruhhh...

Waaarrooorraaah...

Man, what's he doing...
Making a mirror?

Aarraarrraaaagh!
What's with you?

Ed: I am a monster!

Aaaarrrrgghhh!

I'm back.

Father's garage!

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Curse the consequences
of an only child.

Ed's an animal.

Ed? Who else?

That idiot att*cked me,

Then busted through the garage

Growling like a monster.

I told you about ed's
overactive imagination.

Hey, don't look at me.

I'm the one who got
overimaginated all over.

Ed's prone to
overstimulation, eddy.

He can't control himself.

You're the one
who dressed him up.

Jimmy: help!

Help me! Aaah!

Heavens. It's jimmy.

Jimmy?

Oh, my.

Ha ha ha!

This is worse than I thought.

This isn't as simple as
pretending or playacting, eddy.

Ed actually believes
he's become a monster.

He's even made off
with... Nazz: jimmy!

Kevin: hey, fluffy.

Rolf: fluffy?

Is it not jimmy?

Who is fluffy?

We have to warn the others!

In your dreams.

[Roar]

Come on!

Nazz: poor jimmy.

Johnny: come on, everybody.

Plank says he heard
something over here.

Kevin: yeah, right, and
I'm the king of siam.

Rolf: and rolf is the
head of cabbage.

Ha ha! Ha ha!

I'll figure out a way
to make a buck off this.

If it kills me.

Mm mm mmph!

Where are you, fluffy?

Jimmy!

Rolf is confused.

Is it jimmy or this
fluffy who is lost?

Oh, jimmy!

Jimmy!

Hmm?

How lucky can you get, plank?

Chunky puffs.

Heh heh heh!

Ouch. Johnny!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Did you see that?

What have I done?

I've actually created a monster.

[Roar]

What is this sound that
makes rolf soil his trousers?

I don't know,
man, so get off me!

Guys, I just found
plank without a johnny.

Ed: yaaah!

Check it out!

Aaah!

Kevin: run! Run!

Ha ha ha!

This is too rich.

It scared the pants off of them.

[All screaming]

Ahem.

Help me! Don't let
the monster eat me!

Ha ha!

There's no need to be alarmed.

He's just playing.

He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Edd: why, they're
actually attracted to him.

Take a hike, dorks.

It's every man for himself!

They didn't hear a word I said.

I got to see the
look on their faces.

[Clock ticking]

Rraaaarr!

Whoa.

It took kevin!

Ugh! Ugh! Er! Ugh!

Egh!

What's with these
stupid windows?

I hate it when you do that.

Nazz: run faster!

Aaah!

[Crash]

Gullibility can be so painful.

Rrrraarraararaaraaagh!

Nice entrance.

Aaaah!

[Roar]

Excuse me, rolf.

Rrraaaaagh!

[Clucking]

Take to your heels, gertrude!

There! The clubhouse!

Quickly. No time to explain.

[Panting]

Out of the way, oaf!

Overwhelming fear is not
an excuse for rudeness, rolf.

Heh heh heh.

Rraallaarraaaagh!

Let's remain calm, people.

We'll be safe here.

Are you sure, double d?

He's in his own
little world now.

The best thing is
to just ignore him.

The beast circles with hunger.

We must appease
it with a sacrifice!

Put me down, you jerk.

Hold it!

You can't play his game.

You'll only encourage
this bad behavior.

So what? It's funny.

Let go of me!

See? Ha ha ha!

There's only one thing to do.

Someone needs to go
down and give him a time-out.

I'll go.

k*ll-joy.

Oh, double d,

You're so brave, I'll
never forget you.

Mwah!

[Roar]

Rrrrrrraaaaaagh!

Uh... Ouch.

Raaagh!

Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

[Crash]

Are you all right, rolf?

Yes. Thank you, edd boy.

All is well.

Please ask rolf's
family and livestock

To remember the
son of a shepherd.

Help! Aah!

It's messing my hair!

My apologies, nazz.

He's just trying to be
the best monster he can...

Hey. If you find any
teeth laying around,

They're mine.

Nazz: aah!

Where are you taking me?

Please don't eat me.

That is so gross, dude.

[Splat]

Edd: ed seems to be acting
out a science fiction movie.

He may have seen.

Ha ha ha!

Ed's stuck them to the wall
with chewed-up chunky puffs.

Man, he's good!

I fail to see the
humor in this, eddy.

He's coming.

He can't see us.

[Growling]

What an idiot.

Edd: eddy.

Get us down!

Yes. Ok. I'm sorry.

We'll get you down now.

What?

Come on, eddy. Enough is enough.

Look at them.

Fine. We'll get them down...

For cents a pop.

Why, you... Eddy!

What?

No skin off my bones.

Who's first?

[Roar]

He wants the skin
off my bones, double d!

[Roar]

Hold it right there, mister.

Haven't you caused
enough trouble today?

Check it out.

Double d's yelling at it.

It's all fun and games till someone
gets suspended from a wall.

Rraaaaaagh!

Aaaa... Hiya, guys.

Mom said, no parties
unless I'm invited.

The beast is no more
than foolhardy ed boy.

Right on.

Ed had me going, too, buddy.

The dork's twisted, I swear.

I'm off cereal forever.

Sarah?

Oh, no!

Ed pretended to be a monster

And terrorized the living
heck out of us, sarah.

Oh, wait. That pinches.

Sarah, stop! It's
gonna leave marks.

Sarah? Is that you?

Ugh!

Ed! Ed!

Hey, where did they go?

Get us down. Get us down.

Eddy, hiding underneath your bed

Isn't gonna save
us from harm's way

Once the children
eventually flake off ed's wall.

Relax, will you?

I always keep a couple of
months' worth of supplies

For when the heat
gets turned up.

They'll forget
about us in no time.

Did you see a can opener?

I am can opener man!

What the... Please,
ed, calm down.

No, no, wait.

Give me the stupid
can opener, ed.

I am tissue head.

We've lost him, eddy.

Ed: I will blow your nose!

Ed! Stop! Ed! Stop!

No, no, wait.

I am bed bundy!

Sleep on me!

Ed! Ed!

♪ Ed, edd, and eddy