04x01 - An Ed in the Bush/ See No Ed

[bunniefuu]

Blllbb. Yeah.

Urban rangers, before
our journey begins,

Prepare for inspection.

Eddy: no use, ed!

Ho ho ho ho ho! Ho ho ho!

Edd: time marches on, eddy.

Ha ha ha!

Eddy: you're toast, ed.

Ha ha ha!

Eddy: get down, you lunk.

Ha ha ha!

Got you!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

You have besmirched the
code of the urban ranger!

Why, if rolf had a
loaf of bread, he'd...

[Ed neighing]

Yee-ha! Go, baby, go!

Woo hoo hoo hoo!

Whoa!

Hey, hey, I'm a
bucking buckaroo.

Alley-oop!

[Ding-dong]

Toot, toot! I won!

Sucker!

Time!

Minutes and seconds.

A new record and
with minimal damage.

[Clapping]

Very impressive, ed boy.

It is a shame you failed
with such disgrace

At your pitiful attempt

To cloak your sorry
and feeble effort

At becoming an urban ranger.

Loser.

Ranger jonny, why
have you chosen this day

To rupture rolf's pumpernickel?

Like I ever wanted to join.

What sheep. I hate
those urban rangers.

As I remember it, eddy,

You liked their uniforms
and wanted to join.

Yeah, right. You remember
wrong, double "d."

Whoa.

It's a long ball, coach.

Go back to sleep, ed.

Rangers, the forest beckons!

March!

What would throwing an
overripened tomato prove?

Eddy?

I'm not done reasoning with you.

Man, if that ain't a fluke,

I don't know what is.

Looking for trouble,
urban nerdos?

Do not let the commoners

Spoil our merrymaking, rangers.

I love it when we let loose.

They're going into the woods!

You never know what scary
things lurk in the woods,

Huh, boys?

Oh, don't tell me,
you have a plan, right?

End of first sequence
and fade to black.

Jonny: this will
look great here.

Jimmy: boring.
Let's put it here.

No, I like it here, jimmy.

It's much better here, jonny.

That's silly! Over here!

Excuse me, but I don't see

A "rec room dã©cor"
badge on your vest.

You're just jealous of my
natural sense of hanging out.

Don't make me laugh.

Ohh!

Rolf: urban rangers,
why must you behave.

Like hens having
difficulty laying an egg?

Our merrymaking is
a time of celebration!

You must strive to be
more like ranger plank,

Who puts the
needs of the troop...

Above those of
stuffed furniture.

Can rolf trust his rangers

To start a campfire?

Well?!

All done, sir.

Very good, urban...

That's the spirit, plank!

Ha ha ha!

Quit drying out
your pits, ed. Move it.

You, too, sockhead!

Coming, eddy.

Just a few provisions
for our stay with nature.

A little help would
really be appreciated!

[Eddy snickering]

Oof!

Home on the range, huh, guys?

[Owl hooting]

There's something
magical about flames

That just makes you want to
stare at them all night, huh, plank?

Oops, I think I let
louie out of jail.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Rolf: urban rangers!

Rolf has returned victorious!

Fresh water for all.

Are we having fun yet?

Ranger jonny,

Award rolf the "get me
water, I'm thirsty" badge.

Here you go, rolf.

And here's your "bring
me my badge" badge.

Do not pout, ranger jimmy,

For tonight you shall
have an opportunity

To earn the "ghost story" badge.

Right on!

Jeepers creepers!

This is too easy. Ha ha ha!

I think there's a bug
in my ear, double "d."

This would be so much more
bearable if I had my provisions.

What's that?

I think it's the sound
of no one caring.

Move it out!

Neigh!

Ha ha ha!

Aah! Don't come any closer!

But it just kept coming

With its one big eye.

Its footsteps grew
louder with every step...

Squish, squash, squish, squash.

"I want to eat
your bellybutton!"

Aah! Don't eat me!

Ha ha ho!

Rolf may need a diaper

As his toes curl with fright.

Please continue.

Eddy: oooh... Edd:
oooh... Ed: oooh...

What was that?

It comes from the trees.

[Ed, edd, and eddy
imitating ghosts]

It's so grotesque.

[Owl hooting]

Holy mackerel.

Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!

That scared me out of my pants.

Good one, rolf! You
really had us going.

This was not rolf, ranger jonny.

Help, help! It's got me!

Somebody save me!

How'd he get up there?

[Sniff]

Rrr...

Eddy: hey, check it out.

[Barking]

Ranger jonny,
rescue ranger jimmy.

Rolf has business to attend to.

[Howling]

Boy, eddy, I really
feel bad about this.

Can we please go now?

Ha ha ha!

Ed, did you get a
load of their faces

When the fire went out?

Ooohh... Ha ha ha!

I even made a quarter.

Oh, man!

Ok, double "d,"

Let's get out of here.

Edd: eddie! Ed!

Nice try, double "d."

Stop him! Please, no!

Ok, double "d,"

You can come out now.

Edd: aaah!

[Ghostly cries]

Aah!

What was that?

Waaa!

It's the bellybutton eater!

Aah! Ed, wait!

[Panting]

Aah!

Aaah!

Oof!

Aah!

[Crash]

Edd: help! Ed: eddy!

Save me, eddy!

Make it stop!

Help me!

Guys?

Aah!

Help me! Bellybutton eater!

[Meow]

Have mercy.

Ed, you're in trouble, mister!

Ed!

[Giggling]

Mom said to get out
of the closet, ed.

It's been days now.

Bellybutton eater!

What idiots.

Jonny: ooh.

Don't try this at home, kids.

Rolf: this would be impossible,

As rolf would hit the ceiling.

Sarah: he makes it look so easy.

Boy kevin, assist rolf.

Tell rolf the secrets
of this prostrate board.

Oh, boy, rolf's clueless!

Don't sweat it, rolf.

What you don't
know won't hurt you.

Rolf: aah! Poor rolf.

Jonny: nice one, rolf.

Decent, to say the least.

Jonny: woo hoo! Ha ha ha.

Sarah: cool!

Let's boogie, plank.

Get in line, jonny.

Oof.

It's jimmy's turn.

Do you think I'll
kick butt, sarah?

Kevin: whatever you do...

You better do it fast, fluffy,

Because those eds are
probably on their way right now

To wreck all our fun.

I wouldn't count on it.

This morning me and plank here

Were playing over
at the playground,

And there was no ed,
edd, or eddy around.

Not at the creek,
not at the junkyard,

Not at the sewer, not at the...

Rolf has also been blessed

By the lack of
ed-boy buffoonery.

Hey, sarah, you seen your bro?

No!

I haven't seen them, either.

Ahh, I feel as fresh
as a spring flower.

Come on, people.
It's a brand-new day.

No ed, edd, or eddy. Hallelujah!

Let's go to my house and party.

The cookies and milk are on me.

Aah! Oh, sarah, I
think I got an oww-ey.

It's ok, jimmy.
You're used to it.

Jimmy: do it, nazz!

Sarah: higher! Higher!

Shh.

Yippee! Yippee!

Bull's-eye.

Right where the sun
don't shine. Ha ha ha!

Boy, these cookies sure
are stale, huh, plank?

Ha ha ha!

What know-nothing would
dimple the cookie biscuit

With the doohickey of a rabbit?

Those are raisins, dude.

Same thing!

[Sniffing]

You know they're
up to something.

The doohickeys?

No, man. The eds.

Poppycock! There are
no ed boys today, kevin.

A celebration, I say!

I'm with you, brother.

Jonny: I know how
you feel, buddy.

I wouldn't feed these
cookies to a dog.

Want a soda?

How the heck did
that get in there?

I'm a monkey. Feed me a peanut.

Feed me a peanut. Look at me.

You've got a monkey
on your head. Ha!

Feed me a peanut.

Rrr... Jonny,
you're gonna get it!

No peanut?

Feed me a banana
because I'm a monkey.

Oh, whoa, whoa.

I'll feed you a fist.

Kevin: hey, where'd
you get that?

I found it in the drink cooler.

What's a mask doing in a cooler?

That's too weird.

Big deal. It's just one of my
stupid brother's drawings.

People, please.

You're giving me a migraine.

Let's not forget the party.

Cookie, anyone?

Monkey hand!

Get it off!

Monkeys smell their fingers!

Why has someone glued
fluff to this rubber glove?

Has the world come to an end?

What'd I tell you?

Those dorks are up to no good.

Come on, rolf. Let's find eddy.

A nod is as good as a
wink to a blind horse.

Ok.

Hey, guys, where are you going?

Wake up, will you?

Kevin and rolf are
going to look for eddy.

Me, jimmy, and nazz are
going to my house to find ed.

Why don't you try and
find double "d," jonny?

Okey-dokey, nazz.

Ain't she sweet, plank?

[Record skipping, no music]

No ed boys, kevin.

What's taking them?

I got a bad feeling in
my gut about this, rolf.

Shall rolf rub kevin's belly

With the oils of fermented figs?

What?

Hey, kevin!

Any sign of those losers, jonny?

Nope... But I found
this bottle cap.

Pretty cool, huh?

Yeah, real nice.

They weren't in ed's room.

Gee, I hope they're ok.

Oh, please!

Rolf is riddled with guilt
over the missing ed boys.

Jimmy: I have a confession.

I've wished this every birthday.

Could it have come true?

Give me a break.

This is all part of
some stupid scam.

They're around here somewhere.

Whoa.

Is that a banana?

A turnip for your
thoughts, kevin?

First a monkey mask,
then a monkey glove,

And now...

Monkey food!

See? What'd I tell you?

I've never seen so
much fruit in one place.

Follow the yellow rind road!

Wait up, jimmy.

Those eds are watching
our every move.

Hello.

[Monkey chatter]

Wow. Oh.

"Chimp wurld"?

What'd I tell you?

Monkey see, monkey
gets ripped off.

I'm a monkey, huh, plank?!

Don't go in there, jonny.

Woo hoo! Too much fun.

Hang on, squirt.

He can be merry, kevin,

For today we are
free of ed boys.

Jonny: whee!

Get real, guys.

It's a scam.

Rolf!

[Tarzan yell]

Crybaby jimmy,

Careful, as the mighty
banana is like glue

To the path of least resistance.

Want to wrestle,
huh? Here I come!

Suckers!

They'll be here any
second to take your cash.

Man, that's old.

Come on out, eddy,
so I can pound you.

There is no one here
but us bananas, kevin.

I know you're here, dorks.

Show yourselves!

Chill out, dude.

Let go of me.

You looking at?

Aha!

Oof.

Hey, kevin, watch.
Relax. Go with the flow.

Aah, what happened?

Oh, here we go.

Help me, somebody.

Fear not, as rolf
will save your head.

Jeepers!

Awooo... Help me!

Eeh! Ooh!

The eds are moving in.

Kevin, check out this slide.

Wait, nazz. Don't!

Aah!

Aaah!

Help, sarah. Help!

Sarah: jimmy!

Aaah!

Aah!

Those dorks are out of control.

Kevin, do something.

Sarah: kevin!

This is not cool.

Awesome.

Kevin, help! I'm stuck.

Help, kevin! My head's
going to explode.

Sarah: kevin, hurry!

I can't hold on forever.

Jimmy: my ankles are chafing.

Oh, man.

Kevin, the weight of the bananas

Are crushing rolf's apples.

This is, like, totally
wrecking my hair.

Jimmy: help me!

Kevin! Help me! Hey!

Kevin, help!

I've got to be next.

I'm the only one left.

You ain't scamming me, eds!

I'm on to you.

Later.

Where's he going?

Sarah: what's he
blubbering about?

There are no ed boys.

See you, kevin!

[Panting]

Kevin: aah!

Shh! Shh! Shh!

This is just becoming
too risky, fellows.

If we don't find ed's mask,

Our chimp wurld
will be all for naught.

[Imitating monkey]

Ed, we've been looking all day.

Where'd you put it?

Put what?

The mask, ed.

The mask you drew
this morning, remember?

Did you check your costume?

Whoops! Lost my glove, see?

You bonehead.

I'd be the last to
say I told you so,

But if I had been
in charge of...

[Sniffs]

Well, we can clearly see

It's not on ed's person.

It was the greatest
scam in the world.

I got to find the mask.

For heaven's sakes,
eddy, control yourself.

Excuse me, ed.

Table for two.

Ah, quit your griping.

Keep looking!

Ed: banana?

Cut it out, ed.

I'm looking over there.

Buy one, get one free.

Ha ha ha!

Eddie, I can't find
my underwear!

Ed, edd n eddy.

Blllbb, yeah!