04x12 - Run for Your Ed\ Hand Me Down Ed

[bunniefuu]

Bl-bl-bl-bl-yeah.

- [Snoring]

- [Whistling]

- [Snoring]

- [Grunting]

- [Snoring]

[Crash]

- What the heck was that?

[Loud banging]

- Somebody's in
the kitchen, lee!

- Aha!

Hey, where you going?

- Yeah! We ain't
done with you yet!

- Typical.

Whoever it was sure is a slob.

- Why is it always the
good ones that get away?

- That crumb ain't worth
shedding tears over, marie.

- Yeah. His loss.

It's gonna take may
forever to clean this mess.

- Heh heh. May. Good
one. Heh heh heh.

- Holy toledo!
- Holy toledo!

- Wait! Let me!

Let go!

- No! It's mine!

- I got it!

- Back off!

- Enough already!

Somebody shanghaied
our ship inna bottle!

- It's our family heirloom.

We used to play
with it on bath night

In the old homestead.

- I say we call the cops!

- What number do
you dial for ?

- No cops.

I say we pay our
neighbors a little visit

And find our
bottle kanker style.

Heh heh heh.

- Rolf's giant wiener will fetch a
pretty penny at the market, yes, victor?

Huh? Victor?

Why have you stopped?

[Squealing]

[Bawking]

Have mercy on our
miserable souls!

- I believe this belongs to you.

- [Muttering]

- Ha ha ha!

- Sleepwalking again?

Uh, we'll have that
vacated asap, kevin.

- Lucky for you dorks
I got chores to do,

Or I would have
had to pound you.

- Oh, ed. Ed.

Rise and shine, sleepyhead.

[Blaring]

- Private do not enter
is ready for duty, chief!

- Ed, you seem to have
garnered a memento

From your slumbered stroll.

- I did?

- Ain't you caused
enough trouble?

It's junk.

Get rid of it.

- It likes me, eddy.

- Inanimate objects
don't like, ed.

- Hmm?

- Just as I suspected, eddy.

- Ed's swollen finger
will thwart any attempt

At removing this bottle.

- Well, I'll give it a thwart.

[Loud banging]

[Cackling]

- What's their problem?

- It's a kanker hissy fit!

- Aah!

- Get away from me! Aah!

Jimmy!

- It's the end of the
world as we know it!

- Make it easy on
yourself, curlicue,

And cough it up.

- Let's just find it
the hard way, lee.

- Cough? Hard way?

- Ugh! Let go of it, stupid!

- It's a fighter, eddy!

- If I might make
a suggestion...

- It's under control! Back off!

- But, eddy, this is simple.

- I said it's under control!

Aah!

Ow!

- Eddy, are you all right?

- Ha ha! One bottle,
hold ed's finger.

What the...
- Eddy, wouldn't it be easier

If we just dabbed a little
soap on ed's finger and...

- Soap!

Yuck! Fresh! Gah! Nasty!

No soap!

Aah!

- Get back here!

- Uh, pardon us, kevin.

- If I see you one
more time, I'll...

Dorks.

[Engine starts]

- Bad soap. Evil soap.

Slippery, sudsy, scary soap.

- [Panting]

- Ok, ed. You win.

- [Panting]

- See? Soap's gone.

- Well, technically, you
just moved it behind my...

- Huh?

- Come here, you!

- Aah! Aah! Aah!

- Let go! What are
you waiting for?

Soap him! Soap him!

- Not good. Not good.

- Come on!

Wait!

He's putty in my hands.

Soap him! Soap!

Aah! Ooh!

- I dispense with you,

Disgusting
detergent of the deep,

For i, ed, can remove the
bottle with sticky tape.

- Sticky tape?

- Stick?

You're already stuck, numskull.

- And your point is?

- This is stupid.

- Ed may have something, eddy.

Nothing ventured,
nothing gained, you know.

- Just follow my smell, bucko.

- I'm scarred for life!

- Crazy, man, crazy!

- Run for the hills, plank!

- Hello?

- Ed, wouldn't it
have been more polite

To knock before entering
your sister's room?

- Shh. I'm in the
zone, double d.

Sticky tape!

- Ed!

Get out of my room now!

Can't you see I'm
hiding over here?

- Can we get rid of
this bottle or what?

- And where exactly
are we going now, eddy?

- Your place. Where else?

- I thought I told
you to... Huh?

- I don't have a good
feeling about this.

- Ok, ed. Jump.

- Wait! You don't
suppose the tape

Will leave any
unsightly residue?

I mean, mother has
the eyes of a hawk

When it comes to adhesive resin.

- Relax. I'm on it.

- Uh! Aah!

- Oh, dear.
- Don't sweat it, ed.

My dad's got a hacksaw.

Huh?

- Well?

- It ain't here, lee.

- Our ship inna bottle is gone
forever and ever and ever.

- That's crazy talk, may.

Snap out of it.

We're finding our ship
inna bottle if it kills you.

Now get out there!

We got people's lives to wreck.

- [Mumbling]

Wait!

I know who's got
a ship in a bottle.

- Is that so?

- Huh huh huh.

- Sometimes the most
perplexing of riddles

Can be solved with a simple
counterclockwise turn.

- Huh huh huh huh!

- What a load of bunk.

[Doorbell rings]

- Funny, eddy.

- Now, who could that be?

Good day, and how may I help...

- A little birdie told us
you have something of ours.

[Ed laughing]

[Heartbeat]

[Heartbeat quickens]

- Oh, lord! That
ship in a bottle

Belongs to the kankers!

- Kankers?! Every
man for himself!

- Who? What? Where? Why?

- I got him. I got him!

- Uh-huh.

- All they want
is the bottle, ed.

You're gonna have to take
one for the team, lumpy.

- Oh, that's real
brave of you, eddy.

- What?

- Why should ed
sacrifice himself?

- He took the bottle.

- Oh, look. A sponge.

- Shh. What's that?

Do you hear it?

[Clanking]

- Oops! Oh, hey.

Look what we found.

Yeah.

- We're a family again, girls.

- Aww!

Quit hogging it, lee!

- Yeah! Give it to me!

I want to hold it!

- Agreement! It's mine!

[Yelling]

- I think that was the
kankers' bottle, eddy.

- You're not the only
one confused here, ed.

Have you noticed that
we've come out of this

Virtually unscathed?

- Are we lucky or what?

- We must be getting
good at this, huh, guys?

For crying out
loud! Of all the...

- Aw, just like old times.

- Well, that sense of
confidence didn't last long.

- Do something, will you?

- I know just the thing, eddy.

A little dab of soap
will do the trick.

- And I will fetch the kankers,

As they are whizzes
at stuck fingers.

- No! Wait! Ed!

Aah! Ed!

- [Sniffing]

The stench of immortal doom
still thickens the air, yes?

Or perhaps it is wilfred's
cabbage evacuations.

Hard to tell.

[Rooster crows]

[Whirring]

- [Giggling]

Mmm.

[Grunting]

Are we ready, class?

Good. Let's begin, shall we?

Let those nasties
ooze from your body.

Ooh, doesn't that feel good?

Now coddle the tranquility.

Nuzzle the... [Bouncing]

Mr. Yab-yab!

Speak to me!

Dolly and I will miss you so.

Dolly?

Dolly!

[Grunting]

It's no use.

I'm so inadequate.

[Sobbing]

[Whimpering]

- Rough.

Kiss those baby toys good-bye.

Huh, fluffy?

- If only I wasn't a
weightless weakling,

I'd give him what for.

Hmm. Hmm?

Ha ha ha.

Look at me. I'm a bruiser.

Hee hee hee!

- Hey!

Whoa.

- I am jimmy. Hear me roar!

- [Cough]

- Grr!

- [Wolf whistle]

- You are so dead.

- Aah! Don't hurt me!

Don't hurt me!

- Man, what's with him?

- My room!

Grr!

- See? My favorite
toothpaste, eddy.

Fresh as the day
my mom bought it.

- That-a boy, mungmouth.

It's perfect for this scam.

- Thank goodness,
ed. Where would we be

If you actually brushed
every now and then?

- Ed!

[Banging]

I've had it with you, mister!

Not only did you
mess up my room,

But now I have to find
something to hit you with!

Used it.

Used it.

Aha!

Here I come, big brother.

- Run away. Run away! Run away!

Hmm.

Aah!

Disperse!

- Hiya, fellas.

Do you want to
play? Huh? Do you?

- Get lost, twerp.

We've got business
to take care of.

- Don't hit me!

- Ed, how could you say that?

I love you, silly!

- I'm confused here, eddy.

I've never seen
sarah act this way.

- Dames. Who can figure 'em?

Hey, whatever it
is you're pulling,

It ain't gonna work.

- Aw, does little
eddy want a hug, too?

- Um, sarah, are
you feeling well?

- I feel great, double d.

Hug for you, too!

- Baby sister's all cuddly and
sweet like dad's bushy ears.

- Good lord! Stay
away! Ed, do something!

- [Laughing]

Aah! Huh?

- Let me help you,
flip-flopped sister of mine.

- Grr!

Touch me again, and
I'll b*at you to a pulp.

- Ow. Ouch.

Ah, the good old days.

[Rolf humming]

[Baa]

- A fine bed for rolf's
seeds, yes, victor?

[Baa]

[Humming]

[Baa]

Come on, you.

Cursed sack of shriveled
produce droppings!

Hello.

Who threw this whatchamadoohickey
at rolf's posterior?

Aah!

[Singing gibberish]

[Gibberish]

- Double d, act
natural, ed, shut up,

And I'll do all the talking.

- Misrepresenting toothpaste

As a character-enhancing
ointment

Is far beyond my scope
of vocabulary, eddy.

- And I haven't a clue
what's going on here, eddy.

- I said shut it, stupid.

Ahem.

[Singing]

- [Grumbling]

Gee, since when did rolf

Turn into one of those
stuffed-shirt, blowhard singer types?

The guy gave me a headache.

Next house.

- Thank you.

- Odd.

Isn't that the boomerang
sarah had earlier today?

- Boomerjigger?

- Ow.

Certainly you've heard
of a boomerang, ed.

Its magnificent
aerodynamic properties

Allow it, when thrown,
to rotate a distance,

Then return to the initial
place of where it was thrown,

Used primarily by natives

Who believed it to possess
supernatural powers.

Amusing, don't you think?

- Hmm.

Supernatural?

[Banging]

- "Chasing phantoms:

"A dissertation on
unifying field theory

And its effect on
leptons and quasars...

[Typewriter rings]

By edwin."

- Eddy, come quick!

You're not gonna believe this!

- What the heck are
you doing over there?

The scam's over here!

- At any rate, I
balk at the result...

Photomolecular dissipation.

Do you concur?

- Ahem!

- Eddy, did you hear that?

Ed has finally
found his intellect.

I theorize that in puberty,

A hormonal imbalance
has unclogged ed's...

- All I hear is a
couple of slackers!

- Hostility is the calling
card of a weak intellect.

- I'll give you a calling
card right up your...

- Huh huh huh huh!

- Coochie, coochie, coo!

That's a good wittle baby.

Don't drink too fast
now, or you might get gas.

- Eddy? Motherly?

- And he didn't even show.

What's the little
dickens' name, mommy?

- Casey. Casey jr.

Casey wants uncle d
to change his diaper.

- Oh, my.

Gentlemen, there's something
very fishy going on here.

[Banging]

- What's sockhead
twitching about?

- Wow. Is it hot or what?

- Get over it.

We got ointment to sell.

- Chill, bro. I'm
sizzling in this heat.

[Ed laughing]

- Ahh. Naturelle.

The man's uniform sure
is crimping my style.

Mother nature and
me got a thing going on.

- This ain't right!

- Ahh.

Right on.

- Who are you?

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

- Aah!

What in sam hill
is going on here?

I'm naked!

- Not quite yourself
there, huh, bucko?

- Good golly!

Someone's made a mr. Stinkums.

Be a dear and dispose
of these, will you,

While I get casey a
clean, fresh diaper.

Oh, applesauce.

No more safety pins.

Uncle d, be a dear
and get me a safety pin.

- I'm not moving from this spot!

- Why not use this
boomerang, mommy?

- Oh, thank you, young man.

- I feel an analysis is in order to
determine the vessel's quantity

Of magnitude and direction.

- What's happening to us?!

- Inky-dinky parlez-vous!

- Where'd the scam go?

- Here it comes now, eddy!

Yow!

- I'm so confused!

- Who did this to my head?!

- What an inane, inchoate, and
inefficacious journey this has been.

[Baby crying]

- Casey jr.'S all alone!

Mommy's here,
sweetie! Don't cry!

- I'm getting the need to feel
the breeze between my knees.

That's the ticket.

- Not in front of
the baby! Please!

Casey, you cover your eyes.

- Distasteful dullard.

♪ Ed, edd, n eddy
bl-bl-bl-bl-yeah.