05x09 - Tight End Ed/ 'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place

[bunniefuu]

- [Whistles]

[Whistling]

[Whistling]

- Ed!
- Edd!

- Eddy!

- Yeah!

- Razzle dazzle, make 'em cry,

Peach creek cobblers
sock 'em in the eye!

Yeah!

- Go, cobblers!

- Ouch!

- [Laughing]
- all right, you maggots.

Listen up.

Tonight we're playing
against our rival school,

The lemon brook lumpers.

- [Sniffs]
- we need to crush them

With our defense,
and dominate them with

Our offense.

Got it?

- Rolf knows of this offense
as nana has the body odor of

A well-fermented yak.

- Gimme that pigskin.

Watch and learn.

Uh!

[Grunting] yeah!

Right, show me
what you're made of.

Hustle, hustle, hustle!

Hit it, man, hit it!

- [Grunting]
- do you want those lumpers

To win?

Come on, ladies, hit it!

Pathetic.

You thieves don't have
a backbone between you.

- Plank says, "no
kidding, brainiac."

You sure told him, buddy.

Ha ha ha!

- I fear my athletic
skills may not be up to

Kevin's standards.

- Uh!

- Who invented
this game, anyways?

I'm only on this stupid
team 'cause this uniform

Makes me look like a hunk.

- [Giggles]
- yoo-hoo, cobblers.

Over here!

[Laughing]
- hey, marie.

Do you smell something?

- Why, yes, I do, may.

What stinks, lee?

- I'll tell you what
stinks, marie.

Peach creek...
Cobblers... Stink!

[Laughing]
- you're gorillas!

Be gone, jelly belly jezebels!

- Argh!
- Yah!

- Oh!
- Washouts.

- Loser snoozers!

- Aw, nobody hit the bald kid!

- Wow.

It's like we don't even exist.

How are we supposed to
win the big game tonight

If nobody's got
any school spirit?

Duh.

- Mutant midriffs from hades!

Oh... Whoa!

- Yeah!

Way to go, ed!

- Yeah!
- Yay!

- Look at me, my victory dance!

Shake it like you've
got ants in your pants!

"A", "b", "c", , , !

My butt's bigger
than a small country.

Alley-oop!

[Crash]
- [cheering]

- Ha ha ha!

- Hey, muttonhead.

Your small country
sprung a leak!

- Ed, you're perfect, dude!

- Who? What?

- You silly, come on.

I wanna show you something.

- Where?

Why?

- How the heck you
supposed to eat this stuff?

- It's all in the wrist, eddy.

- What?

Like that?

- Where've you been?

- Um, hungry, ed?

Here, have some hearty
spaghetti, they're a cornucopia

Of energy-packed carbohydrates
important before a big

Athletic event.

- [Gasps]
[slurping]

[Burps]
- so, what did nazz show you?

Huh?

Dish it!

- [Gulps] I swore, eddy!

Big secret!

Nazz said so!

- Good lord!

We're late for our game!

- Late? Can't be!

Um, shower... Yup, that's it.

Shower for ed.

- Since when does ed shower?

- Go, cobblers!

Go, cobblers!

Yeah!

- Yay... Cobblers!

Go, team, go!

- Raaah!

- [Growling]
- they don't look so tough.

I bet even you could sack that
quarterback, double dweeb.

- They certainly appear to
have superseded the standard

Growth chart, haven't they?

- What do you mean
are you in my will, plank?

- All rolf sees are
teensy-weensy babies.

[Baby cries]
- man, this is gonna hurt.

[Whistle blows]
- coin toss, right on.

- Eddy, I'm concerned.

Not only for my
well-being, but for ed.

It's not like him to
just disappear like this.

- [Singsong] a
blast from the past,

Now here to stay!

- Peach creek junior
high's got something to say!

- Don't look now,
he's on the move,

Our peach creek's got
a brand-new groove!

- Yay... Cobblers!

- Go, team, go!

- Mascot?

- Is that ed?

- It's a pie in the eye for
lemon brook junior high,

Lumpers are bad and
they ain't got no chance!

So go home, man,
with your parents.

- Yay... Cobblers!

Go, team, go!

- So that's why ed's
been acting so secretive.

He certainly has what it
takes, don't you think, eddy?

- They think he's great.

Hey!

I should be the
mascot, don't you think?

After all, I'm the
life of the party,

The jack of all
trades... [Whistle blows]

[Rumbling]

- It's right to you, man!

- [Cheering]
- [roaring]

- Take it in, eddy!

Eddy?

Now's your chance, buddy!

- Argh!

- Quit slacking and cover
for the missing dork!

Dork.

- Eddy?

Oh, eddy?

- [Roars]
[crash]

[Whistle blows]
- [cheering]

- The cobbler mascot...
- Really is...

- Cute!

- Lame!

- Cobblers, cobblers,
sis boom ba...

- I'm the peach creek clobberer!

I'm the best mascot you've seen!

Forget about this old
dope, he's just a has-been!

Uh!

- Nice move, eddy.

- Eddy!

Run, plank!

What on earth are you doing?

You're supposed to be... Oh!

[Whistle blows]
- keep your eye on the ball,

Double doofus.

Get up, get up!

Move it, hustle!

Today, now!

- [Laughs] yow!

Oh, oh, oh!

- Did nazz make you
a mascot, too, eddy?

- Cover your ears
and open your eyes!

It's the peach creek
mascot cannon fly!

- Boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy, that's me!

- I'm the peach creek mascot!

Clobberer guy, that's me!

[Monkey screeches]
want the best?

Get rid of the rest!

- [Cheering]
- cover your positions!

- [Roaring]
- curse your positions!

[Whistle blows]
- double gumble

Diddly-doo, I like
peach cobbler,

How about you?

- [Cheering]
- hey!

- Hey, I got stuff, too!

See?

Forget him.

Look at me!

I'm the mascot!

I'm way better than him!

I'm the clobberer,
for crying out loud!

- What are you twerps doing?

There's a game going on
and the other team's winning!

[Whistle blows]
- [crowd boos]

[Whistle blows]

- Well, gentlemen,

It's not whether you win
or lose, it's how you play,

As it were.

- I don't remember playing
that much either, buddy.

Oh, well.

But that mascot sure was a hoot!

[Crash]
- ok, ok.

When I say peach creek,
you guys say cobblers.

Ready?

Peach creek!

- End it... Now, dork.

- Never you mind him, ed.

You did a wonderful
job as the mascot today.

You really lifted
our school spirit.

- Well, that was real swell
of eddy to take my place

In the cannon, double "d".

He saved me a whole lot of
soot in places I didn't even know

I have.

- Ed, have you seen eddy?

- Didn't you hear, double "d"?

Eddy was so good he got a job!

He's the new mascot for
the lemon brook lumpers.

The clobberer is a legend.

[Honking horn]
- [yelling]

Aah!

- Goodness gracious!

Stop!

Stop the bus!

- [Yelling]
- see you at the mascot

Convention, clobberer guy!

- [Yelling] aah!

- Mm. Mm.

- Mm-hmm.

- Hmm.

- Hee hee hee!

[Crash] [thumping]

- Hey, don't let this get
around, but I'm likin' this

Assignment!

- It's fun-edu-tastic, eddy!

Even the most menial of school
projects, when approached

Creatively, can be enjoyable.

Let's begin, shall we?

We've been asked to establish
the human brain's correlation

With our sense of smell.

Isn't this fun-edu-tastic, eddy?

- If you don't get on with
it, I'm gonna fun hit you

Over the head, double "d".

- Where are you,
you little dickens?

Eddy?

Oh, oh!

Ok, um, I smell cabbage?

And, um, bowling shoes,
uh, canned lunch meat?

No, wait!

That is me.

Ha ha ha ha!

Peekaboo, I smell you!

[Sniffing] I smelt
it, who dealt it?

Oh... Oh...

Uh, uh, uh, uh...
Mm, uh, uh, mm.

[Sniffing] wha... Oh.

Mm, ah, mm, ah, ah... Mm.

Oh, yeah, mm...
- Huh?

[Sniffs] hmm.

Uh.

- [Sniffing]
- you're getting warmer, ed.

Warmer... Warmer...
- Ha ha ha!

- Uh...
- Follow your nose, ed!

- Eddy, stop!

- Ah, mm...
- You're confusing

The test subject.

- Smell that, lumpy?

[Whistles] ah, ha ha ha ha ha!

How 'bout that, ed?

I bet you smelled that one!

- Eddy!

- Dude.

What are you... Not now, man.

- Be there or be square!

- What, that's it?

We're done?

- It's all fun and games 'til
ed loses consciousness, eddy.

- Special delivery!

Special delivery!

- For me?

Why, thank you, jon...
- "Plank's groovy

Arbor day party?" What's that?

- What's that?

Do you live in a cave?

Every year, plank pays
tribute to all his timber pals.

And we eat and eat and eat,
'til our belly buttons pop out!

Everyone's coming,
it's gonna be a blast!

- Everyone?

- Pop my belly button!

Pop my belly button!

- Pardon me, jonny.

Not to rain on
plank's reception, but...

Arbor day is the
last friday in april.

Months from now.

- Oh, ho!

[Crash] rolf has impressed his

Instructors, and will
surely receive the alphabet "a"

For his project... Rolf's
mystical mixture of

Mammal maguires.

- Charming.
- Rolf!

Plank's having a barn buster!

- We got an invite!

An invite to a party!

An invite to a party
that everyone's going to.

We've hit the bigtime, boys!

We're minglin'.

Follow me!

I know where my dad
keeps his lucky cologne.

- But eddy, our assignment!

- Do we reek of sweat
or what, double "d"?

- My brain hasn't
correlated that yet, ed.

- Hmm, hmm, hmm!

- So here's the drill.

We hit the cheese dip first.

My brother told me that's
where all the chicks hang out.

- Baby chickens are so cute.

- Get the door, will you?

- Allow me, double "d".

Ding-dong.

- Oh, hello, jonny.

- Hey, guys!

A little late, aren't you?

Where's eddy?

- [Chuckles]
- [chanting "go"]

- That's odd.

- Eddy?

- [Horn plays]
- out of the way, wallflowers!

The par-ty has arrived!

[Dance music playing] now
where's that cheese dip?

[Music stops]

A kitchen party, huh?

Gotcha!

Man, I hate being early.

- Zow-wee!

Nice entrance, eddy.

You sure know how to par-ty!

- Whoa!

Huh... Wha...
- Right on!

You guys rock!

So what are we waiting for?

Come on!

Plank was just tellin'
some k*ller jokes.

Ha ha ha ha!

Hoo, hoo, ha ha ha ha ha!

- Wha... Ha ha ha ha!

- Get it?

- Ha ha ha ha ha!

- [Laughing]
- so while we're waiting for

The others to show
up, how about we...

[Buzzing]

Plank says it's arbor
day party game time.

Ready? Go!

[Horse neighs]
oak, oak... Oak, oak...

Oak, oak... Oak,
oak... Oak, oak...

Oak, oak... Oak,
oak... Oak... Spruce!

You're it, plank!

Hah, catch me if you can!

[Laughing] wee!

Woo-hoo!
- Wha... Ha ha!

Faster, plank, faster!

- You're wearing me out, buddy!

Hoo, hoo, ha ha!

- Stop it, will you?

Um, say, how about
that party food?

You know, before
everybody shows up.

- It's coming, eddy.

Plank ordered some
pizzas before you got here.

[Busy signal beeps]
- plank ordered pizza?

Um, jonny, if I may...
- Pop my belly button, jonny!

- You're still it, buddy!

Catch me if you can!

[Laughing] oh!

Tag, you caught me, buddy!

- Oh, I'll get you, you
melon-headed... Hey!

Let's crank the tunes
and get this joint a-jumpin'!

- New game.

Plank says, guess how
many seeds are in the jar?

- [Growls]
- !

- ?

- !

- For pete's sake, jonny!

These games stink, man.

If you're gonna have a party,
you gotta spice things up.

Jeez louise.

When's everybody supposed
to get here, anyway?

- Didn't I tell you, eddy?

Everyone said
they were too busy.

Kevin's making cupcakes,
rolf can't find socks

That match, nazz
is peddling papers,

Jimmy's washing his hair,
and sarah said, "b*at it,

Baldy."

- [Growling]

- Hey, eddy.

Where ya going?

Aren't you having fun?

- Fun?

This party's deadsville.

I'd have more fun
pulling out my own teeth.

- You would?

For cryin' out loud, all I
wanted was to make this

A special day for plank.

[Sobs] sorry, pal.

I tried, but there's no
arbor day wish this year.

[Sobbing] I know,
me, too, buddy!

[Wails]

- Eddy, I admit this hasn't

Been the most lively of
festivities, but this party was

Of utmost significance
to jonny and plank.

Please, eddy.

Let jonny make his arbor day
wish, then we'll politely leave.

- [Sobbing]
- fine!

Like it's my fault.

- Gotcha!

I was just fooling, ha ha ha!

- Why, you little...

- Goody, goody, looking!

Ooh!

- Yes, very, um, ooh.

- Ready?

Everyone put your hand
on the awesome arbor acorn

And make your arbor day wish.

- The sooner you make your
wish, the sooner you can leave,

Eddy.

- I wish this will never
end and we party forever!

- Say what?

- Wow, ed, that was
plank's wish, too!

- ♪ Never-ending party!

Never-ending party! ♪
- Let 'em make a wish,

You said!

Then we would leave, you said!

- A figure of speech
I'm sure, eddy.

- ♪ Never-ending party!
- You're the arbor day

Daisy chain of woodland buddies,
who watch over the precious

Arbor day youngling until it
spurts into a full-grown tree.

- [Snarls] you hear that?

We'll be years old.

- Oh, dear.

- Am I the host with
the most or what?

Hit it, buddy!

- ♪ Never-ending party!

Never-ending party! ♪
- Uh!

- ♪ Never-ending party!

Never-ending party! ♪
- Grow, you stupid tree, grow!

- ♪ Never-ending party!

- [Whistling]

- Ed, edd, and eddy!
- Yeah!