02x01 - The Big Leagues

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be a superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, be, gotta be ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be a superhero ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪
static shock!

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be a superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, be, gotta be ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be a superhero ♪

Static shock!
Static shock!

[School bell rings]

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be a superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be ♪

Uh, yes, we are like,
totally organic.

I want begonias,
uh, some orchids,

[Gasps]
oh, what are those?

There you go,
fresh blintzes.

Both: aah!

Blintzes?
I love blintzes!

Ferret: aah!

Woman: aah!
Second woman:
oh!

Ferret:
it's a bag baby!

[Sniffs]
sport scent deodorant.

Mint toothpaste.

A hint of ionized oxygen.

[Gasps]
static!

Guess I better
stay downwind next time.

Aah!

♪ Hey, you,
lookin' for me? ♪

♪ , , ,
Do you know who I be? ♪

Uh, roger that,
air command.

We are in pursuit
of the bogey
and closing in.

♪ Hey, ooh, talkin'
to you ♪

♪ Can't you see?
Who else could I be? ♪

♪ Hey, hey, lookin'
for me? ♪

Man! I'm being
jacked by produce!

♪ I got game
for a limited game ♪

♪ Over you, easy,
scramble your brain ♪

♪ Hey, you, wonderin' why ♪

♪ You're fallin' so fast
as I reach for the sky? ♪

Let's see. So far,
I got you down for robbery,

Vandalism,
and excessive cruelty
to produce.

Anything else
you want to add?

[Manhole scraping ground]

What is with--

Yaah!

Man: ha ha ha.

Ferret:
where am i?

What is this place?

You guys!

Stay cool, man.

Ferret:
kangor! Hotshot!

hotstreak,
jerk!

Now, now, we can't
blame ferret for being
a bit disoriented.

[Gasps]
the joker!

Ha!
So formal?

Call me uncle j.

Everyone does.

What are
you doing here?

Such a sad story.

You see, things got
a bit uncomfortable
for me back home.

Thanks to
a cranky bat,

My cadre of cronies
were cast in the clink!

Suddenly,
I was was set adrift.

Not a friend
in the world.

Then I realized
dakota's just lousy
with fun young people...

Like you.

So I decided
to pop in and scare up
some new recruits.

Look, joker--
uh, uncle j.,

I appreciate
you saving me
and all,

But i--i don't think
I'm what you're
lookin' for.

Thanks, anyway.

Don't be stupid, man.

Oh, yeah! This is
the big leagues!

I don't care.
This guy is totally
creepin' me out.

Well, I certainly
don't want you to feel
uncomfortable, ferret,

Though it will be
a shame to lose you...

And your power.

[Sniffing]

An acute sense
of smell, isn't it?

Yeah, i--
hey, hey, hey!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

What's happening
to him?

I'm seeing to it
that he leaves us
on a happy note.

Tv anchor:
although the police
sealed off the area,

The metahuman ferret
managed to escape.

You're not eating?

Nah-uh.

Good! More for me!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

It doesn't
make sense.

Why would anybody
help ferret?

And what made
all those balloons
explode?

I dunno.
Too much hot air?

Tv anchor: and police
are still investigating
today's bizarre hijacking

At the east side
fire station.

By the time
we got downstairs,

They had taken
of our biggest rigs.

Why would anyone steal
a fire truck?

[Honk honk]

The heat is on,
g*ng.

[Honk honk]

Ha ha ha ha!
The heat is on!

Oh, this guy
kills me.

Only if you
don't do what he says.

Ok, boys!
Make papa proud.

Where's the fire?

Right here, old man.

Hit the floor now!

[Alarm ringing]

Loud noises
get on my nerves.

Everything gets on
your nerves, man.

Hey, I've got issues!

Radio dispatcher:
all units, bank alarm
at dakota first national.

Flyboy at o'clock.

You heard her, kiddies,
let's not be greedy.

Looks like
the fire department

Better rethink
its hiring policy.

Aah! Aah!

[Sighs]
this is almost too easy.

Uhh! Aah!

Aah!

Fire's out, kids.

Time to go home.

Uhh.

Not your best moment.

Ferret: heh heh heh
heh heh heh heh.

What's so funny?

Ferret:
ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ferret?

"Missing you!"

What does that mean?

He seems to be
stabilizing,

But call me if his
condition worsens.

[Laughter continues]

What did this to you?

Batman: not what.

Who.

[Laughing]
batman.

Hi. It's static,
isn't it?

Uh, yeah.
Oh, man!

I cannot believe
I'm shaking hands with
robin the boy wonder.

Oh, let's skip
the boy wonder
stuff, huh?

I'm getting kind
of old for it.

See any clothing?

Just his shoes.

Lots of grease,
some metal shavings.

On the top or the bottom?

Top.

Which means?

He wasn't walking.
They dragged him.

Oh, yeah! Obviously.

This'll help him recover
from the joker's gas.

The joker?!

[Calmly] ahem, um,
here in dakota?

Why did he
hogtie ferret?

And what's with
that note,
"missing you"?

He's bored.

He needs an opponent
who can measure up.

Hey, I can measure up.

Don't take it
personally.

Batman and joker
go way back.

Can I help?

Probably not.

Is he always
this friendly?

Hey,
he didn't say no.

So after we busted
his old g*ng,

We got a tip
he was coming here
to form a new one.

That's why he had
all those metahumans
with him.

Is this where ferret
disappeared?

Uh, yes, sir.

Would you mind?

Oh, yeah, course.
No sweat.

Thank you.

[Beeping]

Oh. It's my pops.

Here. Use this.

Come on, pops,
just another half hour,
please.

I'm hanging with the guys,
that's all.

Not far.
I'm right under--

I mean, right at th
and main.

Just walking around, yeah.

I know it's late.
[Sighs] ok, all right.

I'll be there.
Dang.

I gotta...get home.

So we gathered.

Where are we?

The old industrial
district.

It goes on for miles
along the river.

He could be anywhere.

We need to find
another lead.

[Beep]

Wait! What about
tomorrow?

Where can we meet?

We'll call you.

Yeah, but--but
what if I find out
something?

How do I
contact you?

Use this.

But only if
it's important.
Understand?

Important.
Yeah.

See ya.

Uh-huh.
Nice working with you.

"Nice working with you?"
How lame is that?

Big-time superhero
has to go home to daddy.

What's your beef,
kangor?

The guy's smarter
than ebon and hyde
put together.

Heh, I'm almost glad
ebon's in jail.

I still don't
trust him.

Look what he did
to ferret, man.

[Grunts]

Yo, bigfoot,
you almost hit me!

Maybe next time
you'll move.

Maybe next time
I'll broil me
some kangaroo meat.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Knock it off!

Boss man wants us
to get this done.

You don't want to
make him mad, do you?

Rr--aah!

How could he have
tracked me here so soon?
How?

Hey--who, uncle j?

The bat, that's who.

Here in dakota,
with his little
bird boy.

So what?
It's of us
against of them.

? Oh, oh, yes.

Including that drippy
dry cell static.

Maybe we should
hit him first.

Shiv, old boy,
you may have stumbled
onto something.

They don't know
that we know
they're here,

And that is all
the advantage
we may need.

Batman and robin?

How cool is that?

Well, it would
have been cooler

If I had done
at least one thing
right last night.

Hey, you got them to
the industrial district,
right?

And we know that
wherever joker's hiding

There's grease
and metal shavings.

That narrows it down.

Relax. Let me
do some research
on the internet.

You do that.

Meanwhile, I think
I just found the
best clue of all.

Talon to joker--
he's taking the bait.

Time to call in the troops.

Oh, no!
The bat gizmo's gone.

This is not happening.

Ok, ok, chill out.

There's got to be a way
to signal 'em.

Uh, bruce?

There's something
you should see.

I guess we should be
grateful

He didn't use
a loudspeaker.

Where's the signal
device I gave you?

The, uh, uh,
the battery
must've gone...

Actually, I kinda
misplaced it.

So what do you have?

I saw talon fly in there.

You stay out here.
Huh?

In case anyone shows up.

Oh, sure.
Whatever you say.

Static's big batman
adventure--

Waiting by the door.

You hear anything?

No.

My point exactly.

It's an ambush.

Haah!
Haah!

Hold still!

♪ Show me something,
show me what you got ♪

♪ Show me something,
hit me with your best sh*t ♪

♪ Bring it on, bring it on ♪

Hmm, sweet dreams,
bat boy.

[Coughing]

You'll have
to excuse my kids.

They're so
rambunctious lately.

Should have brought
a crossword puzzle
or something.

[Horn honks]

Aaah!

[Sizzling]

[Laughing]

Hey!

[Coughs]

Richie, come in!
Rich?

You having any luck?

Ah, still
searching, bro.

We just don't
have enough info

To zero in
on the hideout.

Well, now
we gotta find it.

Joker just grabbed
batman and robin.

Oh, no!
How did you get away?

I didn't get away.

They trapped me
in a tunnel.

I wasn't even
worth capturing.

However, they did manage
to mortally wound your ego.

Sorry, I'm just
frustrated.

I wanted to--
I don't know,
measure up.

Wait, wait, wait.
Batman and robin must have
a communication system, right?

Like our shock boxes?

Sure.

So, if there's a way
to send a radio signal,

There's a way
to track it.

Ok, I'm inside.

Shouldn't be too hard
to figure out
this thing.

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aah!

How do you make
this thing stop?

Uh...ok.
Plan b?

Rich: you see anything
that looks like
a tracking system?

I can't even find
the steering wheel.

Richie, I think
it heard me.

Hoo hoo,
major coolness.

Ok, uh, try this--

"Computer, engage
tracking device."

[Beeping]

How did you know
how to do that?

I watch a lot of sci-fi.
Your turn.

Computer,
engage auto-pilot.

Find batman and...robin.

Whoa ho ho ho hoo hoo!

It appears you've lost
the home-field
advantage, batsy boy,

Whereas I had
the foresight to hire

The local
all-star team.

What's with
the camera, joker?

I'm preserving
fond memories of
your demise, batso.

Something for me
and the kids to watch

When this green hair
has turned to grey.

You don't really think
you're going to
pull this off, do you?

Yeah. I mean,
considering your
batting average--

Pardon
the expression.

[Chuckles] how droll.

But since we're all
anxious to get this
over with...

Let's get this
over with.

You know how
I love toys, batman.

Here's how
this one works.

Ooh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

You won't see that
at the auto show. Ha ha!

Let's go
for a doubleheader,
shall we?

Bye-bye, birdies.

Aah!

[Glass shatters]
[grunts]

What took you so long?

Hey, I'm here,
aren't i?

[Grunts] aaah!

Whoop--whoa!

Ohh, missed again.
Whoa!

You are getting closer.

Oh, children,
uncle joker needs you!

Whoa!
Hyah! Hyah!

Hyah!

Rrr--hyah!

[Grunting]

Ooh! Spot-welding is not good
for the complexion.

Haah!

Too bad it has to end
this way, robin.

You and I are
birds of a feather.

[Shrieking]

Aah!

I cannot tell you
how many times I've
heard that joke.

I got dibs
on the bat.

Too late.

Aah!

Aah!
Aah--ohhh!

[Joker laughing]

Ohh!

[Groaning]

Please, batman,
help me.

[Shocker buzzing]
gotcha! [Laughing]

That looks fun.
Let me try.

Eh? Aaah!

Not bad.

Well, it's been
a real slice.

Thanks, man.
Any time you want
to hang together,

I am there.

Deal.

Uh, batman?
I don't know what to say,
except...

It was a thrill
working with you.

Any chance we could,
you know, team up again?

We'll see.

Yes!

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be, a superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be, let 'em know ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be, a superhero ♪

♪ Static shock ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be, a superhero ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be, let 'em know ♪

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be, a superhero ♪

♪ Static shock ♪

♪ Static shock ♪