03x01 - Hard as Nails

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gotta be, be,

[Groaning]

Where does he get
these whacked-out toys?

Book 'em.

[Thunder]

Allie langford!

Virgil: allie!

Allie!

♪ Stay one step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ And you will make it ♪

You're trippin', allie.

The more you run,
the worse it gets.

Allie: go back to dakota.
You ruin everything.

♪ Stay one step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ Get one sh*t,
so take your aim ♪

♪ Stay one step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ And you
will make it ♪

Come on, allie.

Let's both go home.

I'm not feelin'
allie anymore.

The name is nails.

Hunh!

Hey!

I'd say
that trick is bangin',

But not when I can flip
your own power against you.

I'll rember that.

Aah!

♪ One step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ Get one sh*t,
so take your aim ♪

Oh, man.

Real smooth, virg.

Then again, you've been
one step behind allie

Since this whole mess
went down.

Virgil: I should've noticed
something was foul

Days ago.

Hunh! Uhh!

Whassup! I'm open.
Over here!

Watch the hands,
man!

Hey! Ho! Unh!

Ohh! Get it!

Come on, man!

Come on.
Get that!

Go up!

Better learn how
to rebound, clown!

[Shouting indistinctly]

No.

Not now.

Heads up, allie!

[Gasps]

Hey, where you been
lately?

Yeah. What's
with the coat?

Expecting snow?

Whoa.
Just kidding.

Hunh!
Hey!

Earl's in the clear!

Earl goes
for the setup.

♪ He's open,
he's open, everybody ♪

Hunh! Unh!

Allie!
[Gasps]

Ohh! Check it out.

Is she ok?

[Gasps] oh, wow.

Are you ok?

It's a miracle
you're not splattered.

I'm fine.

How's your head?

Don't touch!

Sorry!

[Muttering]

You dropped your--

Thanks.

You sure you don't need
to see the nurse?

I wish.

What's up
with her lately?

It's like she's becoming
another person.

Maybe she is.

I can't even find
all my stuff.

All my locker stuff.

Hey. Whoa.

That's whack!

Yeah. They got
mine, too.

Someone's idea
of a joke?

Nobody lost more
than a few dollars.

Looks like someone
was after some easy cash.

Check out
these cuts, rich.

Yeah. And look
whose locker's untouched.

Allie's.

I wonder where she is?

You mean,
you didn't hear?

Hear what?

Her folks were
in here earlier

Talking to
the principal.

She ran away from
home this morning.

I guess we know who was
picking up traveling money.

Does allie
have any family

In gotham, daisy?

Mmm, I don't think so.

Why gotham?

Just playin' a hunch.

♪ Yeah ♪

This is the computer
allie was using.

I'd like to see what
she's been looking at.

The log says she's been
on it a lot.

These gotham maps
match the one
she had yesterday.

Why would anyone want
to go to gotham city?

Good question.

Hey, she set up
her own mailbox.

Look, she's been
swappin' e-mails

With a couple
of web hosts--

"Ceres and thalia."

Here's a link
to their site.

"Bang baby outreach?"

Yeah. Seems
they run a clinic

That helps people
havin' trouble dealin' with
their special abilities.

They want allie
to join 'em.

Allie's a bang baby?

It all fits.

Allie's changin',
and she doesn't know
how to stop it.

And I bet she's willing
to trust anyone
who says they can help.

Sounds bad.

Someone askin' a kid

To meet 'em over
the internet is bad.

♪ Stay one step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ Get one sh*t
so take it and stay ♪

♪ One step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ And you will make it ♪

♪ Stay one step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ Get one sh*t,
so take it and stay ♪

♪ One step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ And you will make it ♪

[Gasps]

No use frontin' anymore.

I told you to get away!

Unh! Ah!

Unh.

I think you have me
confused with someone else.

[Gasps]

Batman.

Uh, good lookin' out.

I'll take it from here.

Can't let you do that.

Really?
Uh, I mean, why not?

I know why this girl
is in gotham

And who
she's here to meet.

Right. Sure.

And that
would be--

Poison ivy:
that would be me.

Unh!

Unh! Unh!

You gotta
be kiddin'.

No way. Unh!

Unh!

Unh!
Unh!

A fitting fate for
such wooden hearts.

Harley: excuse me, red...

But telling bad jokes
is my schtick.

Don't be afraid, hon.
We've come to help.

Aah!

♪ Me and my home girls,
that's my crew ♪

♪ Better watch out ♪

♪ We're bustin' through ♪

♪ Me and my home girls,
we're so fine ♪

Now it's time for us
to make like trees
and leave!

What? I said
they were bad.

[Grunting]

[Grunting]

Can't...

Unh! Can't breathe.

Unh!

[Grunts]

Unh!

Unh.

[Beep]

♪ Me and my home girls,
that's my crew ♪

♪ Better watch out,
we're bustin' through ♪

Let me
get this straight.

You were the one
posting online as ceres?

That's right.
The goddess of the harvest.

And my associate thalia,
muse of comedy.

Mmm!

We couldn't
call ourselves
harley and ivy

On account of
they'd bust us again.

Ain't it sad?

Forget it.

I didn't come
all the way
to gotham

To hook up with
a couple of crooks.

I'm outta here.

And where
will you go, allie?

[Gasps]
ooh-hoo.

I remember
the e-mails we traded--

All the fear
in your letters,
the desperation.

No one should go
through that alone,
girlfriend.

We may be, as you say,
crooks now,

But once
we were doctors.

And I'm still
a brilliant chemist.

And as a therapist,

I've been helping victims
deal with their afflictions.

Laughter is the best
medicine, you know.

Hee hee hee.
[Rattles]

This isn't funny.

Did I say laughter?
I meant penicillin.

The fact is,
we can help you, my dear.

I've isolated a cure
for the bang baby syndrome.

It worked on others,
and it can work on you.

That's what
you've come for, right?

Yes.

[Gasps]

Unfortunately,
it's a rather
expensive formula.

I'm afraid
you're going
to have to earn it.

I'm down for anything.

Now that's your
first step to recovery.

[Virgil grunts]

Huh?

[Gasps]
what's goin' on?

Ow! Where am i?

Ow!

Who are you?

Batman.

I don't think so.

Just once,
I'd like someone
to believe that.

Ow!

Pardon me.

That seems to be
the last one.

Well, thanks, dog.

You're welcome, dude.

Whoa.

This is really it...

The bat cave.

Nice crib.

How are you feeling,
virgil?

You know?

I guess
you really are

The world's
greatest detective.

It fell out
of your pocket.

You probably
shouldn't carry that

While you're in uniform.

Uh, right.
So where's robin?

With the titans.

The who?

You'll meet him someday.

The idea of allie langford
with those two is whack.

That means crazy.

I know.

I've been trying
to get a fix
on harley and ivy

Since they
escaped custody.

I discovered ivy's
bang baby site

And knew where they were
planning to meet.

For what it's worth,
allie's a good kid.

She's just
going through
a tough time.

She left us for dead.
She's not that good.

She's confused
and scared.

She turned to
the net for help,

And your creep girls
took advantage of her.

Cut her some slack,
b-man.

Uh, ok?

We'll play it
your way for now,

But if she gets
out of control,

She goes down
like the others.

[Fog horn blares]

[Crash]

[Gasps]
we hit somethin'!

We're not movin'.

Look!

Man: cut it away!

Poison ivy: what a shocking
disregard for plant life.

I think they need
to chill, don't you?

Unh!
Unh!

[Both cough]

[All coughing]

Ok, I stopped the ship,
and harley stopped the crew.

It's up to our little nails
to do the rest.

You've got
the magic touch,
kiddo.

Do your thing.

Unh!

Ooh!

Pretty. Mmm.

You never said
I'd be getting
mixed up

With anything
this big.

Science
ain't cheap, hon.

Unh! Unh! Besides,
it's not like

The big bad government

Will miss a few
little old gold bars.

Unh. Aah!

Unh. A little help here?

I'd say the choice
is pretty clear.

Unh.

You can take that
off now.

Nothin' like
bein' trusted.

If you'd rather
get out and walk...

Virgil: uh, heh.

I'm cool.

What's the plan?

I have a few leads,

But something tells me

They may have already
made their move.

Commissioner gordon:
it showed up
minutes ago--

A carpet of seaweed
blocking half the bay.

The coast guard
can't cut through it.

All shipping activity
is dead in the water

Including a federal
gold transport.

Sounds just like
your plant lady's style.

Give us minutes.

If you don't
hear from us,

Send in police
helicopters.

Yeah.

What the heck did robin
do to his hair?

♪ Yeah ♪

[Giggles]

Keep 'em comin'.

This is not a few
little old gold bars.

Ooh, don't tell me
metal ma's
got a conscience.

Now harley, if allie
is bothered by this,

We'll just conclude
our business and part.

Okey dokey,
poison oakey.

[Sniffs]
unh! It smells
like nail polish!

Oh, yeah. Well,
confidentially, it is.

[Gasps]

Oh!

Get it?
"Nail polish," as in
"polish off nails?"

Start the blimp.

[Gasps]
huh?

Lucky me.
What other superhero

Gets lovely
lethal ladies

All to himself?

♪ Gotta be, be,
gotta be, be ♪

♪ Oh, gotta be, be,
gotta be a superhero ♪

Don't flatter yourself,
kid kilowatt.

Nice try, sparky.

♪ Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go ♪

You don't have
the juice to take me.

Unh!

Wait for it.

Aah!

Unh.

Unh.

I'd say that's
juice enough.

Aah!

[Grunts]

You just don't get it,
do you, kid?

You're pretty much
powerless against wood.

[Grunts]

Allie: but I'm not.

[Gasps]

♪ Stay one step
ahead of the game ♪

♪ One step ♪

Unh!

Unh!

Aah!

Unh!

[Both gasp]

Don't, allie.

They hurt me.
This is payback.

Aah!

Unh.
And then what?

Spend the rest
of your life

Runnin' from
guys like him...

[Allie grunts]
and me?

Phew.

Tell me this.
Why did you bother
comin' after me?

It's the least
I could do

For a girl
from my hood.

But how did you know...

Where did he go?

The kid's got style.

♪ Yeah ♪

Mmm. Mmm.

I did it!

I can control the change
at will now.

It's wonderful,
honey.

Dr. Chen says my treatment's
going so well,

I may lose the metallic
affliction completely.

You could give
a lot of hope to
the bang babies, allie.

Yeah. I was lucky
to be selected
for this program.

It's being paid for
by a big company in gotham.

Wayne industries.

How's our patient?

Better every day,
mr. Wayne.

This is a friend
of mine from school,
virgil hawkins.

Good to know you, virgil.

Same here.

It's nice of you
to pick up the tab
for all this.

I heard she had
a rough time dealing
with her condition,

But I'd say
she's earned some trust.

Sir, I brought
the car around.

Whenever you're ready.

Hey.

And she's not
the only one.