03x06 - A League of Their Own, Part 1

[bunniefuu]

[instrumental music]

[bubbling]

[beeping]

Starting security check
on the Brainiac Stasis Field.

[beeping]

All six levels are intact.

It's hard to believe
that's the last piece

'of Brainiac's circuitry.'

(Batman)
'The last that we know of.'

How much of him
do you think is in there?

Too much. He's a regenerative
computer program.

A virus that won't die.

There's an old saying
about the wisdom

of keeping your enemies
close to you

but there are times
I wouldn't mind sending

'Brainiac down
the nearest black hole.'

[alarms blaring]

Hey, I need everyone
in the control room right away.

We got a little problem.

[keys beeping]

- What's wrong?
- You got me.

The sensors are going crazy,
but I can't see anything.

There it is.
It's a cosmic superstring.

It packs more energy
than a solar flare.

Shields up!
Brace for collision!

thud

[groaning]

- Our energy core is drained.
- What about backup?

We have some, but not enough
to power the entire station.

[alarm blaring]

rizz

I've checked all the rooms.

Doesn't seem to have
caused much damage.

You're a little too quick,
Flash.

We've been knocked out of orbit.

We're heading
for the stratosphere.

If I ran around the power cords
Super-Speed

and generate enough
static electricity to--

No. You could damage the core.

But there is someone
who can get us out of this

if we can reach him in time.

♪ I'm good to go
and yes I am ready ♪

♪ Fight the criminals
chase the bad guys ♪

♪ Save the world
fly through the sky ♪

♪ Half kid half amazin' ♪

♪ Okay static shock
who you facin' ♪

♪ Yeah one zip then you zapped ♪

♪ Good against evil
get trapped ♪

♪ Look in my eyes
I got the power ♪

♪ Villains run
from the static shower ♪

♪ Superhero static shock ♪
♪ Woo woo ♪

♪ Superhero static shock ♪
♪ Woo woo ♪

♪ Criminals get twisted ♪

♪ This superhero gifted ♪

♪ Bell rings
and I'm back in school ♪

♪ Nobody know what I do okay ♪

♪ Superhero static shock ♪
♪ Woo woo ♪

♪ Superhero static shock ♪
♪ Woo woo ♪

♪ Superhero static shock ♪
♪ Woo woo ♪

♪ One zip then you zapped ♪

♪ Good against evil
get trapped ♪

♪ Look in my eyes
I've got the power ♪

♪ Villains run
from the static shower ♪

♪ Criminals get twisted ♪

♪ This superhero gifted ♪

♪ The bell rings
and I'm back in school ♪

♪ Nobody know what I do okay ♪

♪ Superhero static shock ♪

- It's an ambush!
- Look out!

boom

♪ Let's go ♪

Whoa!

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Show me something
show me what you got ♪

♪Show me something
hit me with your best sh*t ♪

♪ Bring it on bring it on
bring it on ♪

♪ Bring it on bring it on
show me what you got ♪

♪ Show me something
as I showed you ♪

How do you like
my new boy band, Static?

I call them The Meta-Men.

You barely b*at
each of us alone, chump.

Now that we've joined forces,
we're invincible.

Ugh. Bro, who do we go
after first?

The police.

Ladies, first.

[groans]

You know something, sweetie?
You got an odor problem.

Aah!

[groans]

[grunts]

crash

If I knew Static was friends
with the Justice League

'I wouldn't have joined
you boneheads.'

'Not even to do laundry.'

The Justice League!

♪ Fight fight fight fight ♪

♪ You can try to stop me ♪

[groans]

Yo! How come you never told me

you were down
with these big dogs?

'Cause it's a secret.

So secret
that I didn't even know.

Yo, Batman, thanks for the help

but don't you guys have
a galaxy to save or somethin'?

- We need your help, Static.
- Say what?

We need you to come
to the Watchtower.

Up there? That one?

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Can I come too?

This isn't a field trip.

Please, oh, please.

You can stuff me
in the stoway bin.

And when we get up there,
I'll stand in the corner.

You can choose which one.

He can come,
but we have to move quickly.

You heard the man.

- Cool.
- Cool.

I made it to geek heaven.

Look! It's some sort of
multi-phasic monitoring system.

I'll bet it can pick up
any broadcast signal on Earth.

I have the power conduits
all set for Static.

I'll see you
in the control room.

What's goin' on?

We were hit by a cosmic anomaly.

It drained the Watchtower's
central power core.

We need you
to recharge it for us.

Recharge the station? Me?

Don't you guys
have jumper cables?

This conduit leads
to the power core

built deep inside the center
of the Watchtower.

'Here's where you can feed in
your energy.'

Some adventure. I feel
like a great big AA battery.

Another way of looking at it
is you're preventing the station

from crashing
somewhere on Earth.

Quite possibly Dakota.

Maybe I should start
recharging the station.

Good idea.

[electricity crackling]

Hey, rember your promise
about staying in the corner.

- But--
- In the corner.

[groans]

(Hawkgirl)
'We regained our thrusters.'

I'm re-stabilizing
our Earth orbit.

whoosh

Orbit re-stabilized.

[screaming]

Easy, G.L.,
he's Sparky's buddy.

[Gear groans]

No pictures.

Alright, Static,
now that Green Lantern's back

he can take it from here.

Good. I feel
like a grilled patty.

We don't have to go yet, do we?

So far, I've only seen
one corner of the room.

[alarm blaring]

It's a distress call
from Novalis .

An asteroid swarm is threatening
to collide with their planet.

This is going to take all of us.

There goes an afternoon movie.

What about them?

The Watchtower
isn't fully charged yet

so Static and Gear
will have to stick around.

- Just in case.
- By themselves?

As long as
they don't touch anything

they should be fine.

You guys are old enough
to stay home alone, right?

(both)
Right.

♪ Hey hey hey
everybody get your groove on ♪

♪Hey hey hey ♪

Pizza in the Watchtower.

Does it get any better
than this?

Yeah. Hope they don't mind us
raidin' the fridge.

Hey, we're growing superheroes.

And I just spent
around gazillion calories

chargin' up this place.

- Did you see that?
- What?

There was a face lookin' at us
on the screen.

It didn't look human.

Phew, big deal.
We just spent the whole day

with a Martian
and a Thanagarian.

[alarm blaring]

That can't be good.

[both screaming]

rizz

[grunting]

[both grunting]

Run!

Why won't it close?

Maybe I can override it.

[sighs]
I think I lost my appetite.

(Gear)
I don't know
if this is a good idea.

We don't wanna make
the J. League mad.

You saw hawk-nose
swing that mace.

Yeah, well, I'd like
to find out why this place

almost blew us outta here.

Hey, look.

Huh?

My bedroom could sure
use one of those.

This is weird, bro.

'The computer's firewalls
are expanding.'

It's as if a virus
is taking over

and locking everybody else out.

Can you isolate it?

(Gear)
Man, it's slippery,
but I think I got it.

The League files have it ID-ed.

The virus is called...Brainiac?

That's the face.

What's he doing in their system?

(Brainiac)
Correction. My system.

I've been growing exponentially

ever since I sent
the Justice League away.

What?

I summoned them away

with a false distress call.

'When I dispose of you two'

'the last human infestation'

'will be gone
from the Watchtower.'

Then I will turn it
into my new body

and use it to assimilate
the planet Earth.

Assimilate the Earth?

First, I will collect
all of the Earth's knowledge

and then I will destroy it.

Whoa. This virus wants to do
a lot more than erase emails.

Yeah, but why is he
tellin' us everything?

[gasps]
It's a distraction!

[whirring]

rizz

(Brainiac)
You only delayed the inevitable.

All of this space
will soon belong to me.

- Huh?
- Huh?

[both grunting]

And to think
I begged to come here.

[gasps]

Whoa! That's a big robot.

'That's like
a Shaq-size robot.'

Backpack, I could use
a little help here.

Hey, computer-bot,
digitize this!

Ah!

rizz

(Brainiac)
'There is nothing you can do.'

'And no point
in trying to hide.'

We gotta call
the Justice League.

I'm gonna try to use
their comm link.

'Brainiac doesn't have
full control yet.'

[gasps]

(Gear on radio)
'Justice League, over.'

[garbled]
'Please come in.
Justice League, over.'

I can't boost the signal.

Distress call, fake!

Repeat, distress call, fake!

Brainiac loose and..

Static, look out! Look out!

(Brainiac)
'You are only delaying
the inevitable.'

(Gear)
You keep sayin' that
like it's a bad thing.

[grunts]

Come on.

The launch bays aren't
responding. We can't get in.

Let's go.

pew pew

[screams]

(Batman)
I can't connect
to any of the systems inside.

Brainiac has completely
cut us off.

But maybe I can still reach
Static and Gear.

Static, Gear, come in.
Do you read me?

What is your situation?

[both grunting]

Let's just say
there's room for improvement.

[both grunting]

Now, I know how my pimples feel.

(Brainiac)
It's time to rid myself
of you human pests.

[grunts]

rizz

♪ You wanna play rough?
Let's play ♪

♪ You wanna hang tough?
Okay ♪

♪ You wanna play rough?
Let's play ♪

♪ You wanna hang tough tough? ♪

♪Okay let's play ♪

Uh-oh, I think you made him mad.

♪ You wanna hang tough?
Okay let's play ♪

♪ Okay okay
let's play play play ♪

♪ Let's play play play ♪

(Brainiac)
'Stop. I am not done. Stop.'

pew pew

(Static)
Batman, you still there?

I've located your position.

You're close
to the central power core.

You need to shut it down.

How am I supposed to do that?

You have to drain the core
this time

and absorb its energy.

You mean take back
what I put into it?

Exactly.

Well, I lit this crib
in the first place.

So, I guess I'm the best guy
to turn the lights out.

Yeah, hi, what about Brainiac?

You really think he's gonna
let us get near the core?

I've been jamming
our communication

so, he won't know our plan.

And now that Justice League

is gonna provide
a major distraction.

So, get going. Over and out.

pew pew pew

crash

pew pew pew

boom

That should give Brainiac
a king-size headache.

I got it.

boom

(Gear)
This has gotta be the place.

[whirring]

Keep Backpack plugged in,
just in case.

- Oh!
- Static!

I am everywhere.
I am everything.

You cannot defeat me.

[pop song]

Gear, this is no time
to download music.

Oh, yes, it is.

Downloading this song
billion times

is filling up
the station's memory.

'Brainiac will crash'

'just like
my home computer does'

if I try to do
too many things at once.

[garbled music]

Hear that, guys?
The Watchtower has been turned

into a house party
and Gear and Static are the DJs.

They're trying to disorient him
from the inside.

Looks like it's working.

What's-what's-what's
hap-hap-happening?

Cannot-cannot concentrate.

Need-need-need more m-me-memory.

Need-need-need more m-me-memory.

So much for the b*at. Now,
it's time for the b*at down.

♪Come on ♪

[grunts]

♪ Let's get rolling rolling ♪

♪ Let the battle begin ♪

Cover me.
I'm going to gaze inside.

♪ Let's get rolling ♪

♪ Let the battle begin ♪

♪ Battle battle battle begin ♪

♪ Let's get rolling come on ♪

No-o! No!

No, I can-can-can
cannot be-be-be beaten.

I am Bra-ainiac,
B-Braini-Brainiac.

Got to hold on.

One-one-one day, I, I will
be-be-be back-be back-be back

and-and-and I will
play the funk down.

[groans]

Yo, Brainiac's not too bad
on the mic.

Mix-master Brainiac.
Now ,that's fat.

Yes, very fat indeed.

(Hawkgirl)
You did well, both of you.

Hey, just another day's work
for us superheroes, right?

Do not make light
of your accomplishment.

This was a very serious matter.

Yeah, you two dweebs
saved the world today.

So, when I'm lookin'
for work this summer

can I put that on my resume?

We'd better get back.

There's plenty of work
left to do.

Could I, please, just get one
picture of everyone

so, tomorrow I can believe
this actually happened?

Maybe one.

♪ And you'll know
when you know ♪

♪ We're gonna work out
in the end ♪

♪ But we got to hang tough ♪

♪ 'Cause you know for sure ♪

♪ We're gonna make it
in the end ♪

♪ We're gonna work out
in the end ♪

You think my pops
will understand

I was late for dinner
'cause I had to save the world?

Probably not.

Okay. Yeah, then I'll just
tell him it was your fault.

Later.

[yawns]

Time to shut you down, buddy.

Hey! Backpack, ugh,
what's the matter with you?

What're you doing?
Hey! Hey, stop!

(Brainiac)
So, you thought it was over,
did you?

Incorrect, human.
This is only the beginning.

[Richie groans]
'No! No! Stop!'

'Uh! Sto-op!'

[theme music]