01x02 - For the Man Who Has Everything

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

A little sharp on the
turn, don't you think?

Sorry if I scared you.

What'd you get him?

I'm not saying anything.

He'll hear and
spoil the surprise.

He can hear that too.

How about you?

He's not the easiest
person in the world

to buy birthday presents for.

Bruce,

you didn't get him
a gift certificate?

No.

Cash.

I mean, what do you buy for
the man who has everythin...

[GASPS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Looks like some kind of plant.

Seems to be to be
growing through his costume

and into his body.

Is he breathing?

Barely.

Someone must have
breached the fortress.

Agreed. Have a look around.

Pupils aren't
contracting even slightly.

He must be cut off
from all sensation.

Kent, where are you?

[ALARM BEEPING]

[ROBOTIC VOICE] This
is your wake-up alarm.

Good morning, Kal-El,

and happy birthday.

[YAWNS]

Thanks, Brainiac.

Windows, please.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[WOMAN GROANING]

Please don't tell me
it's morning already.

[GROANS]

That's what you get
for partying all night.

I was working.

Come on, honey.
You call that work,

covering the opening of the
Argo City Museum of Modern Art?

Hobnobbing with all
the movers and shakers?

A bunch of bores.

You could have come, you know?

Next time.

Oh, please.

I couldn't get you off this farm

if I exploded a quantum
b*mb under your...

[RUMBLING]

Did you? Ugh!

Come here, handsome.

BRAINIAC: A gentle reminder.

Kal-El and Van-El are
expected at Jor-El's laboratory

in precisely two
hours and 12 minutes,

and the vac-40 is
overdue for inspection.

Shut up.

Hmm.

BATMAN: So it was a gift.

Teleported here from
some alien culture,

some grateful world,

or someone wanting you
to think they were grateful.

MAN: How remarkable.

You animals really
are almost intelligent,

aren't you?

That's exactly what happened.

[♪♪♪]

Mongul.

You recognize me. I'm flattered.

I suppose Superman told you
all about our previous encounter.

You mean, how he humiliated you?

A... jaundiced account.

What inferior specimens
he surrounds himself with.

I took her down before
she even knew I was there,

and I'll take this
planet just as easily.

Hyah!

[GRUNTS]

Maybe not as
easily as you think.

[GROWLS]

We "inferior specimens"
call it "playing possum."

No.

No?

Clearly the males on this
world are the smart ones.

He wants to know

about the plant.

The black mercy is
a telepathic species.

It reads the heart's desire
and feeds the individual

a totally convincing
simulation of it.

So he's dreaming?

Oh, far deeper than any dream.

I wonder where he thinks he is.

Sitting on a throne
ruling the universe,

all you human garbage
fawning at his feet?

More honest, don't you think,

than this pretense of
being a selfless hero?

[YELLING]

[GRUNTS]

You don't understand.

He was the only
obstacle in my way.

The rest of you
are already dead.

Van!

Van, your breakfast
is getting cold!

VAN-EL: I'm coming.

Ugh!

Looks like the dog
left you a present.

Brainiac,

could you clean up that...?

No, Brainiac.

Van was supposed
to walk the dog.

It's his job to clean it up.

Van-El, I want you
down here right...

I'm here, I'm here!

[WHIMPERS]

It's okay, Krypto.

How many times do I
have to tell you, Van?

When you asked for a dog, you...

Promised to take
care of it. I know.

Sorry, Dad.

[♪♪♪]

Sorry's not always
enough. We have to...

Live up to our responsibilities.

I know, I know.

This mean I can't
come to the party?

Oops.

What party is that?

Uh,

the, uh...

You're confused, Van.

Little Zod's party
isn't till next...

I told you I didn't
want a surprise party.

And you're not getting one.

Eat your breakfast, Van.

You and Dad
don't want to be late

visiting Grandpa Jor-El.

Indeed. Traffic on
the Kandor skyway

is backed up to
the Gold Volcano.

Kandor! I forgot.

I don't want a surprise party.

It's just a small one.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

How nice of you to volunteer...

to be the first of
your race to die.

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[WONDER WOMAN GRUNTS]

He'll k*ll her, Clark,

and then he'll k*ll us all.

Shake it off. Come back to us.

Please.

[GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

Oh, dear. Is that
a neural impactor?

I didn't know they
were still making those.

I'd advise you to try
the plasma disruptor.

It's more of a woman's w*apon.

Go to...

Ugh!

[GROWLS]

Nothing's working!

[GADGET CLATTERS]

She's in the hall of weapons.

That will buy her
time, but not enough.

She's fighting
for her life, Clark.

You've got to fight too.

[♪♪♪]

I can't believe
you left all this

to live on a farm.

It's a nice place
to visit, but...

[RUMBLING]

Van, did you...?

Grandpa!

Brainiac?

A minor and completely
harmless tremor

predicted several weeks
ago by the Seismic Institute.

[GASPS]

[GASPING]

First, I'll k*ll
you and the bat,

and then I'll take this planet.

You won't win.

Of course I will.

[MUFFLED GRUNTS]

[WONDER WOMAN YELLS]

[SQUEAKING]

What's this one, Grandpa?

And this?

Whoa! Where'd you get...?

One minute, Van.

Something's bothering you.

Here,

and here and here.

A series of mild tremors.

Not unusual.

I don't see what...
Something's wrong, Dad.

Something's going to
happen. I can feel it in...

Oh, so you're a scientist now?

Dad. Do I have to remind you

about a certain
prediction of my own?

Made, I'm embarrassed to say,

when you were
only a few days old.

I announced to the world

that Krypton was
going to explode,

and it took me years to
salvage my reputation.

But maybe you
were right. Maybe...

Maybe I've just been
working too hard.

The past is dead.

Focus on the future.

Can we go up to
the roof, Grandpa?

Somebody wants to
see the macroscope.

Go on up with your father, Van.

[PA KENT'S VOICE] I'll
be along in a few minutes.

Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

It's not right.

Yes. That's it.

Fight it, Clark.

Fight it.

BATMAN: Fight it.

Dad?

[RUMBLING]

Dad?

You've got to look at thi...

What's...?

What's the matter?

Why are you...?

Van, when you were born,

it was the happiest
day of my life.

When I first saw your
beautiful little face,

your tiny fingers
squeezed my hand so tight,

like you never wanted to let go.

I've watched every
step, every struggle.

I've...

But, Van, I...

Oh, help me.

But I don't think you're real.

I don't think any
of this is... Is real.

Don't say that, Daddy.

Please. You're scaring me.

No, no. I don't want
to scare you, Van.

You are everything I
ever wanted in a son.

This...

This is everything I
ever wanted in a life.

But I've got
responsibilities, Van, and...

I have to go now.

[♪♪♪]

[RUMBLING]

[SOBBING] Daddy.

I promise you,

[SOBBING] I'll never forget.

Yes!

[GASPS]

BOY: Beware my terrible sword.

[♪♪♪]

Ha-ha!

Let all evildoers beware my...

We'll start with
the pretty pearls

around the lady's neck.

Now.

[GASPS]

Yes!

[CRASHING]

[GRUNTING]

Ugh!

Do you have any idea
what you did to me?

Aagh!

Ooh! Ugh!

[GRUNTS]

I fashioned a prison
that you couldn't leave

without sacrificing
your heart's desire.

[BONES cr*ck]

It must have been like
tearing off your own arm.

[GROANING]

Ugh!

[GROANING]

Bruce.

[GRUNTING]

Happy birthday, Kryptonian.

I give you oblivion.

Burn.

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

Hera, no.

[GRUNTING]

Bruce!

Get him, Dad, get him!

WONDER WOMAN: Bruce!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Ugh! Ugh.

You should have stayed
in whatever happy fantasy

the black mercy granted you.

Aaaaghh!

Aagh!

Happy?!

Do you know what I've lost?

[THUMPING]

What I've...

You know, for a moment there,

I almost believed you
were gonna k*ll me.

How stupid of you
to hesitate like that.

Not a mistake I'll
make, I can assure you.

WONDER WOMAN: Excuse me.

[♪♪♪]

But I think this is yours.

This...

This was your birthday present.

A new breed of rose
called the Krypton, but...

Don't worry about it.

I promise you,

I'll never forget.

I wonder what he's seeing.

Whatever it is,

it's too good for him.

[MAN SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]