02x05 - The Balance

[bunniefuu]

That's never going to work.

When did the Greeks ever
use precipitate of bismuth

in their potions?

The Greeks didn't.

But I'm making a
counter-potion, remember?

And you actually believe
that pathetic concoction

will be enough to remove

the Annihilator's vulnerability?

Sh! Be quiet, Felix. I
am trying to concentrate.

Tala, you've come a long way

since my untimely demise.

But the student, however gifted,

still has much to
learn from the teacher.

Maybe I wouldn't if we had spent

more time on curriculum
and less time...

And this from the woman

who once braved the
gates of Tartarus itself

to collect my mortal remains?

Right, and I'm supposed
to take advice from you,

when without my spell,
your spirit would have been...

lost on the winds.

Yes. Uh, so very
kind of you to trap me

in this mirror for all eternity.

Beats the alternative.

True enough.

Still, it's hard to believe

you can't solve your
Annihilator problem.

The answer's simplicity itself.

Are you going to tell me
or just keep tormenting me?

No, no. Repeat after me.

By the power of Zeus,

free his essence
from this vessel

and open the path to power.

By the power of Zeus,

free his essence
from this vessel

and open the path to power.

That didn't do any...

Thing.

Surprise, sweetheart.

Felix. Wait!

This is really bad, isn't it?

You have no idea.

This was a great idea, Wally.

I can't remember the last time
we've had a chance to catch up.

Mostly my fault.

I've been pretty
busy in Central City.

I wanna hear all about it.

I saw some of it on the
news, but it's not the same a...

I'm sorry.

I thought we were
having dinner tonight.

Is it Tuesday?

Silly me.

Making dinner plans
with two beautiful women

on the same night.

Uh-huh.

We can do this another time.

Don't be ridiculous.

We can all have a meal together.

It's a chance for us
to get reacquainted,

patch things up.

Assuming we want to.

Now, there's an example
of exactly the kind of thing

we're not gonna
do anymore, right?

I'm telling you,

once we clear the air,

everybody's gonna be pals again.

I always thought the reason
you two don't get along

is that you're so much alike.

Like her? Like her?

You weren't gonna
eat that, were you?

You guys aren't even trying.

You could at least
talk to each other.

The pasta's good.

It's the sauce.

This isn't gonna work, is it?

Not a chance.

Hey! Where you going?

Come on.

I had dinner with two
women at the same time.

Because I'm a stud.

Edregen, calm yourself.

Let me help you.

The gates of Tartarus
swing both ways.

The balance tips towards chaos.

Usurper.

Fiend!

What's happening here?

I don't know.

Suddenly all of our members
with magical powers...

Well, you can see.

They're in agony.
What can we do?

I'm researching.

As soon as I learn
something, I'll let you know.

Flash!

No, no, it's the
"original speedster."

Hey, Diana. I let myself in.

Hermes.

How may I serve the
messenger of the gods?

Don't be so formal, Diana.

You're practically a
member of the family.

Not that this is a social visit.

I've got something for you here.

It's pretty important.

Zeus paid for overnight service.

Here it is.

"For a good time
call Podenimus."

Wrong scroll. Hm.

I think I got a sh*t.
It's her cell number.

Here we go.

"By decree of Zeus,
father of Olympus,

"it is so ordered:

"Diana of Themyscira
will travel to Tartarus

and set right that which
has been disturbed."

He's telling me to go to...

Basically.

Felix Faust is on
the loose again.

Felix Faust is dead.

Yes, and pretty
upset about it too.

His spirit possessed
a powerful w*apon

called the Annihilator,

then headed straight
for the gates of Tartarus.

I mean, straight for it.

The Amazons did
their best to stop him.

They're good, but they
were out of their weight class.

Once inside, he went
looking for Hades,

the master of Tartarus.

Guess Faust is still torqued.

Hades messed him over
pretty good a few years back.

I was there.

And you'll be there this time.

You must defeat Faust

and restore Hades to
the the throne of Tartarus.

So far as I'm concerned,
they deserve each other.

Why should I care about this?

You mean, other than the
direct order from the gods thing?

Because, you know, there
must always be balance

between chaos and order.

When there isn't...

You've been to the
infirmary already, right?

My friends...

Need you to do the right thing.

They're in good hands, Diana.

Yours.

Shayera?

Security override.

User code 003.

User identity Wonder
Woman. Confirmed.

Unlock this door.

Something I can help you with?

Look, I need it.
I'll bring it back.

We become pals
while I wasn't looking?

There's trouble on Themyscira.

Mystical trouble.

Your mace disrupts
magic. I thought...

Whatever's happening
on that island of yours

must be pretty bad
for you to resort to this.

Life and death. Can I have it?

Uh-uh.

It's a package deal.

You want the mace,
you get me too.

You're doing this because

you wanna prove
yourself to me, aren't you?

Well, you don't have to.

I forgave you a long time ago.

Did I ever ask you
for your forgiveness?

Drive them back, sisters.

Diana. You know
you're not supposed to

set foot on this island.

The gods have decreed that...

The gods are decreeing
stuff all the time around here.

Ma'am.

I have to go into Tartarus
and stop all of this.

I won't allow it.

Neither of us has any
choice in the matter, Mother.

Wait. If you are to
attempt such a feat,

you must have access
to your full power.

Because you stole
your armor and lance,

so you were never told of
all the powers they possess.

When the time comes,

you'll know everything
you need to know.

Bring my daughter back to me.

Nothing to worry about.

She's almost as good
at kicking butt as I am.

It's getting kind
of hot in here.

Considering where we are.

Point taken. But still.

That's right. I'm an angel.

You can mess with
me if you want to,

but I don't think you
wanna mess with the boss.

If we're lucky, they'll
all be that dumb.

We need a way to find Faust.

Faust? We should
free Hades first.

Hades can take care of himself.

I'm not here to help him.

You're not?

Then what are you here for?

You know what I mean.

I really don't.

You told me our mission is

to put Hades back on the throne.

Whatever he's guilty of,
we've still got a job to do.

You wouldn't say that
if you'd been there.

If you'd seen what he tried
to do to my mother. To me.

Be practical.

We're going to need Hades
to help take Faust down.

I don't even need your help.

Yes, you do.

I can't make this
decision for you, Diana,

but however you wanna play it,

I'll back you up.

Then it's Faust.

The only problem is finding him.

Oh, that's not a problem.

Ugh.

Ah!

Give it to me. It's right there.

Give it to me now.

Where's Faust?

Let me think. Oh,
yeah. He's over there.

No, wait, he's over there.

No, there.

One more answer, and
it better be the right one.

Or what? You'll k*ll me?

Gosh, I might end up
suffering eternal torment

as punishment for my sins.

Oh, wait, I already am!

Let me try.

Tell me your name.

Abnegazar.

Tell me where to
find Faust, Abnegazar.

In Hades' library.

Lead us there.

Okay.

How'd you do that?

Magic lasso. Who knew?

If you don't
wanna tell me, fine.

Not yet.

I've got one more question:

Is there anything
else we should know?

Yeah, you really, really
shouldn't go in there.

Now, could you please
take this rope off of me?

I'm a demon. The truth hurts.

Whoa!

Sh.

Incredible.

Wouldn't you agree, princess?

The lost scrolls of Herculaneum,

Merlin's juvenilia,

Pierre Menard's Don Quixote.

Dark tomes that make
the Necronomicon

look like a children's book.

There's enough arcana
here to quench even my thirst

for knowledge.

At least for the next
5000 years or so.

Why would anybody
bother taking over this dump?

To get revenge on
Hades for betraying me.

I planned to t*rture
him for a few millennia,

but Hades tried to make a deal.

He told me about this place.

He kept his end of the
bargain, but I didn't keep mine.

I still don't understand
why he was surprised.

But now I'm in heaven...

figuratively speaking.

We're revoking
your library card.

Oh. You want to fight.

Not in the mood.

Darn it. Lost my place.

You okay? Yeah.

Didn't think I'd need a
jacket where we were going.

Aren't you cold in that outfit?

Not really.

Of course not. The
princess doesn't get cold.

The princess doesn't even sweat

in the fire pits of Tartarus.

I do too sweat.

Please. You glow.

I wouldn't be surprised
if you never have to...

Get off of him!

Did Faust send you?

Did he decide the
vultures weren't enough?

They aren't enough, monster.

It appears I'm in
your debt, my child.

Thank the gods, Hades.
If it were up to me...

But even here,
there has to be order.

Faust doesn't care what
happens to this place.

No one ever appreciates
your work until you're gone.

Come on.

We're putting you
back on the throne.

Or die trying?

Not in the plan.

My books!

This time I'll leave nothing
of you behind to t*rture.

Give up, Faust.

I know the secret of the armor.

It's fueled by rage.

If we don't fight you,
you're powerless.

That was before I fixed it.

Good to know.

My mace disrupts magic.

What's that tin
suit run on, again?

You actually hurt me.

Allow me to return the favor.

I hit a lot harder
than she does.

Shayera?

Your mace protected me
from the worst of the expl*si*n,

but I was afraid you...

You're all sweaty.

Told you.

Ah, well, who has time
to read these days?

Besides, I've got a new hobby:

tormenting Faust's
pathetic soul.

Any problems with that?

Not my department.

And you, my child?

Have a party.

But don't call me
"my child" again,

or you'll get what he got.

Your mother never
told you, did she?

Weren't you ever
the least bit curious

about your father's identity?

I don't have a father.

My mother sculpted me from clay

and breathed life into me.

Your mother and I
sculpted you together.

When I met you a few years ago,

I realized Hippolyta must
have brought you to life

sometime after I was
condemned to Tartarus.

As a reminder of me, perhaps.

He's lying, Diana.
We can prove it.

Use the lasso on him.
Make him tell the truth.

The real truth is...
it doesn't matter.

I know what I need to know.

I know who raised me,

and I know what
I was raised to do.

Thank you for unlocking
my armor's powers.

I might not have
made it without them.

You earned them a long time ago.

I was too stubborn to admit it.

I'd better go.

Stay and rest for your trip.

At the very least,

you and your friend can
share a meal with me.

But I've been
banished. The gods...

This is your home.
And I'm your mother.

If the gods don't like it,

they'll have to
take it up with me.

What about us? Are we good?

Like oil and vinegar.

We go together,
but we don't mix.

Works for me.