01x22 - Urn ed Run

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Go On". Aired: August 8, 2012 – April 11, 2013.
Matthew Perry stars in an offbeat comedy about a cocky sportscaster dealing with his issues.
Post Reply

01x22 - Urn ed Run

Post by bunniefuu »

Spring time.

A new baseball season.

Doesn't matter what you did last year.

Everyone starts out tied for first.

Wouldn't it be great if life were like that?

You had a pretty good year last year, Ben Affleck, but we're the same now.

So, Lauren, first week without Wyatt.

- How have you been?

- Fantastic.

I don't need a man.

I'm rededicating myself to my craft.

Ooh! What's your craft?

- You do something?

- This.

You guys.

Oh.

I'm rededicating myself to you.

I have new props: A solution ball covered in useful affirmations Oh, boy.

Great

-smelling new candles, and colorful hats that help us name our emotions.

I'm wearing blue because I'm hopeful.

Okay, who wrote, "you need a man"?



- Not cool.



- Hey, guys.

Good news, Ryan.

I'm doubling down on your healing.

"If you catch this, you suck.

" [Laughs]

I guess you suck.

[Laughter]

Now you've all made great strides this year.

I know.

I've totally overcome my fear of eating candles.

But it's no time to grow complacent.

These are your new personalized healing portfolios.

They're full of information on where you've been and challenges to get you where you're going.

George, you're holding on to some anger.

Maybe it's time to make peace with your old boss.

How dare you say that man's name in front of me?

I don't think I did.

His name is also George.

In fairness to Lauren, that did feel like a trap.

Now, Ryan, it's been almost a year since Janie passed, and I know you've been looking for the perfect place to spread her ashes.

Whoa, that's big.

That's really big.

Yes, but it's an important step.

Holding on to the past inhibits you from forming meaningful relationships in the present.

I don't have a problem with that.

I think you do.

Who here isn't satisfied by what they're getting from Ryan emotionally?



- Me.



- Me.

I get nothing.

I text him witticisms, and he rarely responds.

It hurts.

If you think I'm not sensitive because I have a manly, deep voice, you're wrong.

Sorry, I didn't realize my issues with my wife's ashes were all about you guys.

Well, now, you know.

All right, you know what?

It's time.

This has been hanging over me.

I'm gonna get it done.

That's what a man does.



- That is not all a man does.



- Okay.

[Sighs]

"Stop using sexual innuendo to avoid emotional connection.

" Folder is right.

I love you all, and it scares me.



- she's in there, yeah?



- Mm

-hmm.

Honey?

There's a lot of people out here that'd like to see us get married.

One of those people is me.

This all got too big.

It feels totally incongruous with who we are.

Incongruous means "not in keeping.

" Thank you.

We only get to do this once.

There has to be some size to it.

Did there have to be a an orchestra?

No.

Did all the L.

A.

Kings have to come?

No, but it's pretty awesome.

I'm not coming out.

It's just not what I wanted.

Whoa.

Bringing the sticks was too much.

We went camping here once.

Janie had never seen so many stars in her life, and she said she'd be happy to just sit here forever counting them.



- Now, I guess she can.



- I was just gonna say that.



- Oh, all right.



- And now, I guess she can.



- Aw, that's really beautiful.

Both: Thank you.



- Why are you why would you

- I said it first.

Okay.

Here goes.

Good

-bye for now.

[Exhales]

And now, Steven, good friend to Janie and me, is going to grace us with a hymn.

It's what Janie would've wanted.

I got shoes you got shoes all God's children got shoes Janie really would've wanted that?

Oh, yeah, used to crack her up how earnest and awful he is.

She would just laugh and laugh.

I'm gonna walk all over

- I really like her.



- Mm.

I got wings, you got wings all God's children got wings when I get to heaven, gonna fly all around I'm gonna walk all over God's heaven I got a crown, you got a crown all God's children got crowns well [applause]

There he is, the poster boy for getting better.

Thank you all for your support.

I still have a lot of work to do.

You know, not as much as this section here.

He's right.

B

-team, we have to step it up.

I know I'm inspired.

Thanks to Ryan, I'm gonna get rid of my wedding stuff.



- Good girl.



- Yay.

Lauren says I've been fearful since my brother's accident, so I'm gonna step out of my comfort zone and take a risk.

I feel like there's a novel in me about me and my friends making wrong choices and growing from them.

No plot, just life.



- Sounds great, right?



- No.

Fran, the bitchy one, loved crushing dreams.

This is so wonderful.

To be honest, with my relationship with Wyatt falling apart, I really started to doubt myself, you know?

If I can't make my life work, how can I help others?

So, Ryan, thank you.

Thank you for getting the ball rolling.

Yes, thank you, Ryan.

So courageous spreading those "ashes.

" If I weren't holding pennies, I'd be air

-quoting right now.

What is this?

When you spread the ashes, I couldn't help but notice an atypical dispersal pattern.

I have great insight into these matters as a scientist and as an oddball.

So I took a sample of the ashes home.

Oh, God.

He made a new Janie.

I mixed it up in water, fried it, tasted it, and it was a delicious pancake, Ryan.

It was bisquick.

You spread bisquick.

All right, can we please consider the Okay, listen.

All: Oh!

- Oh, my God!

- Ryan.



- I knew it! [Pennies plinking]

Ooh! Look, I was freaking out.

I was all set to do it, I picked out a good place, but then, I got haunted by the memories of my wedding day, and I lost my nerve.

Why didn't you tell us?

Because I feel so much pressure to be better, and I'm not.

I tried dating.

That was a complete disaster.

I still wake up every night at 1:23 A.

M.

I mean, is anybody in here doing better?

Raise your hand if you're still miserable.



- Ah.



- I am.



- I am.



- Yeah, me too.

When did you pick up all the pennies?

And why am I not even wondering why you came in with them?

I'm sorry that you feel this way, Ryan.

I want to spread the ashes.

I desperately want to move on,

- but I don't have the tools.



- Then, I'm off the hook too.

I'm not ready to say good

-bye to my wedding stuff.



- What?



- I'm out too.

I'm tired of writing this novel.

It was all going great till K's pancake thing.

Now, I just feel like I'm stalled.

So you're all quitting?

Well, I did my part.

I invited that jackass sergeant Davies for nothing.

Hey, whoa, whoa.

Who you callin' a jackass, you rookie?

Oh?

Here we go.

How come you call me now?

You askin' for a wire?

Well, we did solid police work back in my day.

Your day is over, old man.

Oh, yeah.

I don't help.

This doesn't help.

Oh, this is awful.

Ugh.

Ohh.



- I relapsed!

- He relapsed.

She's wearing the yellow hat now.

What do you think that means?

Depression?

Failure?

Actually, I think that's just her hat.

Oh, sweetie.

Ryan, that poor bastard.

I know how bad that hurts, to feel so stuck.

I'm gonna help him.

I wanna do the same for Lauren much like Lauren

-ia in my novel.

She can rescue everyone but herself.

That sounds dreadful.

"That sounds dreadful," cried jealous Fran as she lay dying.

So let's do it.

You two help Lauren.

Anne and I will handle Ryan.

All right, K, but if we're gonna work together, we're gonna have to follow certain guidelines.

For starters, state and federal laws.

Well, the only laws I abide by

- are the laws of physics

- Mm

-hmm.

The law of supply and demand, and Jude Law, who talks to me through his movies, like The Talented Mr.

Ripley, or as I call it, buy a winnebago, Mr.

K.

She needs a win.

You know what she'd love?



- A new tragedy to fix.



- Totally.

It's gotta be something easy, not like our actual problems, which are deep

-rooted, complex, and painful.

You really need to get over the cat thing.

It's just not anything.

We'll make up a problem, let her fix it.

Yes, but it has to be something meaty.

[Gasps]

A nuclear holocaust.

Mm, feels a little too meaty.

I'm sorry, let's go with the great idea you didn't say.

Hey, guys.



- Not good, Lauren.



- I'm sorry?



- We just got some bad news.



- Aw.



- There was a nuclear h

- Family that lost a member.



- A

- Man.

A friend from our job at the hospital.

He died really sadly.

Oh, my God.

You guys, I'm so sorry.



- What was his name?



- His name was Xander.

Which is weird because who would choose the name "Xander"?

You're right Maybe his parents should have named him something that was a great idea, like "nuclear holocaust.

" Xander is d*ad.



- Why?



- [Sighs]

That's not gonna help, Sonia.

Nothing will.

No, no, are you kidding?

I'm here! I'm gonna get you guys through the loss of Xander.

Why is my door open?

What's happening here?

Dude, I think you've been robbed.

Well, it's a good thing I've got my karate expert friend here with me.

Well, that's a bit of a stereotype.

You happen to be good at karate.

A guy like me couldn't have a g*n?

Would you like to have a g*n?

[Phone rings]

[Whimpers]

I don't think you should have a g*n.

[Phone continues ringing]

Yeah?

Ryan king.

[Clears throat]

Sorry.

Ryan King, by now, you're probably wondering what my note means.

Mr.

K?

What note?

You didn't get the note?

What I told you that we were calling too early.

You always need a half

-hour grace period with a ransom note.

Ryan, be a dear and check the living room table.

Oh, my God.

"We have Janie"?

Son of a bitch.

You stole her ashes?

Stole her ashes?

We spread her ashes yesterday.

That was pancake mix.

Where are you?

Get back here now.

King, it's me.

It's tough love time.

So Anne and I slipped in and out of your house like master criminals.

Why is my robe down here?

I took a bath while we were there like a master criminal.

We are taking Janie back up to the lake.

At 6 P.

M.

, we're gonna spread her ashes whether you're there or not.

No.

No, no, no.

Get back here.



- Steven has a g*n.



- Passed it.

You've gotta let go, buddy.

You said yourself you wanted to do this.

We're gonna help you do it.

It'll be beautiful.

[Phone beeps]

These people you hang out with.

Well, it's not crazy that I brought it up.

Lauren, this is really helping.

I'm not missing Xander at all.

Frankly, I'm glad he's d*ad.

I just read about therapeutic pottery, and this seemed like the perfect application.

Maybe I'm good at this.

Maybe I feel better emotionally and physically.

Thanks to you, I think I can do this again.

[Gasps]

[Tendons pulling]

[Snap]

Oh.

Do you know how much this would've hurt before you?

[Laughs]

[Cries]



- I can't come out.

I'm too tense.



- Hey, buddy.

.

Listen, I know you got a lot going on right now, but I'm getting a real vibe from Janie's sister.



- Would it be cool if I

- Not cool, Steven.

Okay, yeah.

You have to tell everyone to go, Ryan.

You did this.

Now you fix it.

I gotta find those ashes, Steven.

Is that K's winnebago?



- Yeah.



- Solid ride.

Jude Law wasn't wrong.

[Indistinct conversation]

Lauren! What are you doing here?

I'm sorry to bother you at work, but after rocking your grief therapy, I realized I have a larger mission.

There's a whole group of your co

-workers here mourning the loss of Xander.

Actually, the hospital has counselors.

Oh, who?

Dr.

Kingsley?

Hack.

Who said that?

[Chuckles]

Alcoholic.

There it is again.

It's so weird.

Anyway, I'd love to help them cope with Xander's loss, like I helped you.

That's nice, but he was kind of a jag.

No one liked him, so Oh, that's the grief talking.

I will be back tomorrow to heal.

I can't lie to her like this.



- Lauren.



- Look! She's pez! That's the kind of fun stuff we do at the hospital.

See you tomorrow!

- Mr.

K!

- Ahh!

- No!

- This doesn't happen.

This is a sick, demented thing that's happening here.



- Give me my ashes.



- No.

It's for your own good.

We're gonna spread 'em at the lake.

The lake isn't good enough.

I need to come up with a better place.

It's just an excuse to avoid! The lake's everything you need.

We come from water.

We go back to water.

You spread 'em, sobby, sobby, Bob's your Uncle.

Uhh! If anything happens to Oh, we were very careful.

We never let them out of our sight.



- Aah!

- Oh, no, no, no, no! [Overlapping shouting]

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! [Urn shatters]

[All gasp]

Oh.

[Exhales]

I got shoes you got shoes all God's children got shoes everybody's talkin' 'bout heaven and I'm goin' to heaven My first instinct was to tell Lauren the truth but I am glad you convinced me to make this work Xander now fully exists.

I got some photos of my neighbor, and with the help of Photoshop, we have pictures from marching band to med school.

Whoa.

Behold our bereaved co

-workers.

They're actually a mish

-mosh of day laborers, desperate Norwegian backpackers, and an actor who does background work on Rizzoli & Isles.

One thought.

What if my character had a nervous tick?

Eh?

Wouldn't that make me more memorable?

What if you did the part as written?

I scripted the whole thing.

It was work, but it'll be worth it for Lauren.

Hello.

Hi.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Lauren Bennett, and I'm honored that you're trusting me with your healing over the loss of Xander.

I ask that you open your hearts as this process is a two

-way street.

I'm healed.

Was it my soothing tone of voice?

Yes.

I can only give you as much as you give me.

Yolanda and Sonia honor me day after day with their openness and their honesty, bravely bearing their true selves.



- It's a lie!

- [Gasps]



- Xander never existed.



- No.

We made him up because we wanted you to feel good at your job.

I'm sorry.

I like writing a character without a conscience, but I'm not Donia.

It was wrong of Yolanda to put all this together.



- [Gasps]



- Yolanda, is this true?

I I don't I'm gonna [Bleep]

you up.

You guys pity me?

I don't even know how to respond to this.

Ms.

Bennett, thank God you're here.

I just miss Xander so much.

[Scoffs]

Lauren, I am so sorry.

We just wanted to get you back to your awesome, confident, insightful self.

Well, it's official.

This group doesn't help anyone.

It just makes things worse.



- That's not true.



- [Overlapping disagreements]



- We made his thing worse.



- Yeah.

Thanks to beard

-o and loudy over here, Janie's ashes are gonna spend eternity in a place of great significance A gas station off of route 145.



- [Gasps]



- There was some ashes left.

Yeah.

A mouse amount.

And had my wife been a mouse, then this would be the appropriate amount.

[Exhales]

This was supposed to be perfect, and then, it got all

- Loudy and beard

-oed.



- Yeah.

This is not a great moment for me.

Lauren, I see an insight brewing.

You mentioned your wedding earlier.



- She's back.



- Way too soon.

You said it haunted you.

Why?

I made it too big.

Had to be epic.

It's not what she wanted.

I screwed it up.

And Janie would just smile and say that I had a whole lifetime to make it up to her.

Well, I didn't.

And this is your last chance to get something right for her.

That's a lot of pressure.

Yeah, it's a lot of pressure, and it needs to be perfect.

So should it be over a cliff?

Should it be under a rainbow?

Should there be doves?

Janie hated doves.

You want it to be big, you want it to be perfect, just like your wedding.



- She's back.



- I knew it.

I didn't wanna ruin it, but I wanted it.



- [Laughs]



- She didn't want it then.

She doesn't need it now.

It doesn't need to be perfect.

It just needs to be you.

He likes us again, beard

-o.

Okay, here's the plan.

I'm gonna say, "hey, honey," and then you guys, all at the same time, say, "we love you, Janie.

Please come out.

" Okay?

Hey, honey.

Is anybody else out there with you?

All right, go.

Get out of here.

How dare you?

Go, go, go.

No, just me.

[Sighs]

I have an idea.

Just come out.

I'm I won't make you go into the church.

I just I wanna take you some place I think might calm you down.

Wow.

Come on.

[Groans]

That's right.

Get all that anger out.

Smash one for the orchestra, and the horse

-drawn carriage I ordered for us for later that you don't know about yet.

What?

You are so cute when you're mad.

Ugh! Whoa, look at that.



- Feels good, right?

Ohh, it feels so good.

[Laughs]

Uhh! We came here on our third date, right?

[Sighs]

Thought I was overdressed then.

Ah, she remembers.

[Sighs]

I remember you.

I remember the way you looked at me that night for the first time.

Ted Williams said that the hardest thing to do in sport is to hit a baseball.

A round ball, round bat, and you have to hit it square.

Let's see what you got.

Hit one for me.

Okay.

It's not easy, but when you connect, and you hear that sound, you just You just feel like everything is gonna be okay.

It may feel like a solitary sport when you step into the box, but the truth is you're one of nine.

It's important to honor the past, but there's a time to move forward.

Ryan started it off with the ashes.

And I'll follow.

Wedding invitations.

[f*re crackles]

My wedding dress, the one thing Angus got right.

100% pure silk.

[f*re roars]

Oh! Damn it, Angus! Patty thought the L.

A.

Lesbian Art Community didn't get enough support.

There's a reason for that.

[f*re crackles]

I feel so inspired.

Everyone's making such a big move.

I should do something.

Lauren challenged you to conquer your fear.

You know, skinny

-dipping in that dark lake over there, that'd be pretty scary.

Maybe.

Not gonna do it.



- Come on.



- No.

Come on! Lauren, what you've done I mean, when I first met you guys, I thought you were just a bunch of weirdoes.

And now, you're the most important people in the world to me.

This group works.



- Come on!

- I swear to God.

Fine.

Ryan, let's show this kid how to live.



- Ryan.



- I'm not going.



- Ryan!

- No.

[Water splashes]

Ryan?

That's not to say there isn't room for improvement.



- Oh, yeah.

- Mm

-hmm.

Guys, in all the excitement, I forgot I don't know how to swim.

- Let's go.

- Oh, boy.

- Relax!

- It's only three feet deep.

Put this on.

I'm I'm not saving you while you're naked.

I need to find a new group.
Post Reply