02x22 - Wild Cards: Part II

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Justice League". Aired: November 17, 2001 – May 29, 2004.*
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Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Flash and other superheroes join forces to battle crime and otherworldly threats, keeping a watchful eye on Earth from their orbiting space station.
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02x22 - Wild Cards: Part II

Post by bunniefuu »

Narrator: previously
on "justice league..."

I've tucked away a
great big time b*mb

Somewhere on the vegas strip.

Only the justice
league can stop it.

And since every good suspense
show has to have a ticking clock,

Here's mine.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Tonight's extra
special guest stars,

Making their world debut,

The royal flush g*ng.

Batman: we've got
trouble. The b*mb is a fake.

25.

Superman: there are 25 bombs.

Joker: and they're
set to go off in...

Oh, dear. That's
not a lot of time.

[Grunting]

Disconnect the following
wires in precisely this order.

Blue, yellow-and-black
stripe, red, then black.

Ok, what next?

Find another one.

[Beeping]

Aah!

John!

Uh!

Aah!

Lantern, are you ok over there?

Lantern, check in!

One of the bombs went off.

G.l. Was inside. I'm
looking for him.

I'm on my way.

Batman: no, you're
not. Stay with the b*mb.

John!

John.

No.

Ooh, medical drama.

Life-and-death stakes.

Compelling human conflict.

Ratings.

Come on!

Aah!

I can't believe I almost lost
you without ever telling you.

Telling me what?

Enough with the mushy stuff.

It's time for
superham's closeup.

Give it up, kid.

There's no way you can b*at me.

I don't have to b*at you.

I just have to slow you
down until the b*mb blows.

Hold that thought.

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Now, where were we?

A person could really
learn to hate that guy.

Let's go back to watching
green lantern croak.

That should cheer me up.

I found john. He's in bad shape.

Uh!

We'll meet at the last b*mb,

Then go after joker.

Negative. John needs
medical attention.

Make it fast. We gotta...

Hawkgirl out.

Joker: oh, this'll
never do. Harley.

Right here, mr. J.

Come in for a nice,
tight sh*t of batman.

You heard the
man. Nice and tight.

Joker: lower. Lower!

Pull up! Pull up!

Aah!

Ooh. Heh heh!

Technical difficulties.

Let's move on, shall we?

Ah, yes.

By my count, the justice
league has disarmed or disabled

All but one of my bombs.

I still don't think they're
going to make it, though.

Aah!

Come on, you didn't think
it was going to be that easy.

Well, yeah, kind of.

Time to find out just
how fast you are.

[Groans]

That about wraps you up.

[Muffled screams]

I know.

It's all I could think of
on the spur of the moment.

Uh!

Here's the thing...

Superman just tossed
me halfway across town.

I'm taking it out on you.

Much as I'd enjoy watching
my boys pummel the flash,

I've learned from
hard experience

That it always pays to
keep an eye on bat guano.

[Groans]

Harley, where's joker?

After all these years,

You still think
I'd give up mr. J.?

Why not? He gave you up.

That was a long time
ago. He's changed.

We've been to
couples counseling.

I'm talking about right now.

Or haven't you been
watching the show?

You've seen the way
he touches her hair,

The way he rubs her shoulders.

You mean ace? She's just a kid.

Really? Then why is she with him

While you're out
here in the cold?

Uh!

Have to admit, didn't
see that one coming.

Ooh, look at the time.

We don't want to
miss the big finish.

[Grunting]

Put him down!

You want him? You got him.

Aah!

I'm stronger than anybody.

I knew I was stronger than you.

Aah!

I've heard it before.

Have you heard this?

You can't b*at us both.

Are you crazy as joker?
We've got less than a minute.

If you b*at me, you'll
die in the expl*si*n.

So? I'll win.

[Beeping]

I'm outta here.

[Imitates chicken]

Aah!

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Superman: flash!

I'll keep this maniac busy.

Defuse the b*mb.

Uh!

Even you can't disarm
one of my bombs in time.

Shut up!

What kind of a retort is that?

You're not even trying.

Not the blue one!

You'll blow us
all to smithereens!

Seriously, you were
right. Cut the black one.

I mean, the red one. No, blue!

That's it. Black and
yellow striped one.

No, wait! Green.

[expl*si*n]

What just happened?

He, uh, I think...

Get me an instant
replay. Super-slow motion.

Huh.

Hey, supes.

That's the last of
the bombs. We win.

That was quite a stunt
you just pulled off.

I know. Can't wait
to catch the rerun.

Joker: was that great or what?

Let's give a big hand to the justice
league for foiling my b*mb plot.

Come on!

You know, our show was picked
up by all the news channels.

And the last 15 minutes or so has been
running on the broadcast networks.

According to my projections,

We've got somewhere between 60 and
70 million people watching right now.

And that was the
point all along.

This whole thing was a stunt

To get as many of you
watching as possible,

And it worked.

My royal flush g*ng
provided the conflict.

The justice league
brought the star power.

And I brought the
shocking surprise ending.

Everyone watching
the show right now

Is witness to my
greatest joke ever.

In just over 5 minutes,

You'll all be hopelessly,
incurably insane.

Can't stop looking, can you?

I wish I could say it's
my animal magnetism,

But it's really my
little ace in the hole.

Different, they called her.

Some even said
she was a monster.

Is this a monster?

I ask you.

Purely rhetorically, of course.

Condemned for something
she could barely comprehend,

Our little ace soon found
herself a guest of the government.

But even they were afraid
of her strange power.

Fortunately for them,

Their nasty little headband made
her as harmless as a drowned kitten.

My poor, poor acey.

All your life, people have
been recoiling in fear from you.

Oh, can I relate.

Maybe that's why
I'm the only one

Who's never been scared of you.

You see, ace can send out thought
waves that alter perception.

But enough with the jargon.

She can make you crazy
just by looking at you

In person or on tv.

Even as I speak,

Millions of you
slack-jawed couch potatoes

Are losing your grip on reality,

Which in my opinion is
highly overrated anyway.

But you can't look away,

Even though you know
something is terribly wrong.

And the best part...

I'm immune to all this
because I'm already crazy.

Joker: turn it up, baby.

Superman: we need... To fight.

To fight.

Yeah, but I can't.

It's only a matter of time now.

A few more minutes, and millions
of people are going to go...

And it's all because of you...

The best sidekick a
homicidal maniac ever had.

Harley: what about me?

Harley!

Yeah, harley, you
worthless two-timing piece...

Wait! Wait.

We can't let everything
we have be ruined

By a silly misunderstanding.

And just what is it that
I'm not understanding?

That we're two of a kind,

That you'll always
come back to me.

Yeah, I guess I do, don't i?

But...

Like the swallows in capistrano.

And there's one other
thing you're not getting.

What?

That you led batman
right to my doorstep!

Uh!

Tough love.

Very effective. Don't
you think so, batman?

Yoo-hoo!

Batman!

I know you're up there... Oh!

Oh, there you are.

Acey, why don't you give
him a piece of your mind?

[Croaking]

Turn up the juice.

Uhh...

[Groaning]

Oh, how I've waited for this.

♪ Big old bats has fallen down ♪

Uh!

♪ On the ground ♪

♪ Mind unsound ♪

♪ Big old bats has fallen down ♪

Uh!

I'm so happy!

Ah!

I've never seen you
this determined, bats.

But as they say,

All good things
must come to an end.

Hmm. Nice lamp.

Just... Just a
souvenir, that's all.

Give me that!

I'm not afraid of you.

Wait. Please.

I know what it's like to
frighten other people.

That's why I'm
not afraid of you.

I'm the only one.

Don't do this.

[Groans]

Do what?

That's my little acey.

Everything's going to be...

Aah!

[Screaming]

Where...

Are you gonna... Go?

Nowhere.

[Groans]

It was the shock of the
detonation that stopped his heart.

No, he's going to be fine.

I'll stay with him tonight.

Batman, about
before, I'm sorry. I...

Batman: no. We never
leave a man behind.

Right?

Right.

Ok, I'll check in later.

[Beeping]

[Groan]

Hey.

Hey. Go back to sleep.

I'm not sleepy.

Besides, we've got
things to talk about.

It can wait.

Not anymore. I'm
tired of waiting.

You know how I feel about you.

John...

And I know you
feel the same way.

It's not that simple.

John, this can't go any further.

Why not?

It's crazy.

We work together.

So? It gives us
something in common.

We can't be worrying
about each other

When we're fighting
the bad guys.

Too late for that.

What else you got?

We're... So different.

I mean, look at us.

Just look at us.

I see a man and a woman.

Woman: well, it's about time.

[Bells ringing]
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