01x01 - The White Witch

[bunniefuu]

♪ Steppin' softly
in a danger zone ♪

♪ No w*apon in my hand ♪

[R-D beeping]

♪ It's just this brain
designed by man ♪

♪ It's got me in trouble again ♪

♪ Trouble again ♪

♪ I put my life in jeopardy ♪

♪ In the service of my friends ♪

♪ I wouldn't care But
it's a dangerous affair ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm in trouble again ♪

[R-D whistles]

♪ Trouble again ♪

♪ In trouble, in
trouble, in trouble ♪

[C-PO] What a
perilous chain of events.

We're lost in a game of chance

to a new master who
turns out to be a smuggler.

Then we're tossed overboard
with the stolen goods,

whilst he gets himself arrested.

Now this wretched salt storm.

R, where are you? R!

R?

R-D? Oh, no!
You've been eaten.

Consumed by this
corrosive acid salt.

Farewell, R.

You were a miracle
of modern technology.

A true prince among droids.

A dear, dear friend.

[R-D beeps]

R-D?

[R-D beeping]

Miracle of modern
technology? I said no such thing.

[R-D beeps]

Prince of the scrap pile,
if you don't get moving.

[R-D whistles, beeping]

Don't think you're just going to rust
away and leave me out here alone.

- Where is a master when you need one?
- [R-D beeping]

- What landspeeder? Whoa!
- [R-D beeps]

We're saved.

It is a landspeeder.

Was a landspeeder.

[R-D beeps]

Where'd you come from?

Leave this to me.

Allow me to
introduce myself, sir.

I am C-PO,
human-cyborg relations.

- A most useful and...
- Hey, an R unit!

[R-D beeps]

- Easy. I'm just gonna take a look.
- A most useful and dedicated...

- Ah, you, sir. Um, allow me to intro...
- Well, blast my burners.

An R unit.

Just what we've
been looking for.

- I've been programmed to...
- What kinda shape's he in?

Some circuit
corrosion, a few dents.

I can fix him.

- I am in excellent shape.
- [R-D beeps]

- I speak millions of languages.
- [R-D beeps]

- We so desperately need a master.
- Take it easy, PO.

- You've got one.
- Two.

Welcome to the racing team
of Thall Joben and Jord Dusat.

Oh, thank you, sir...
[screams, groans]

[Jord] Last one back to the
shop is a two-toed swamp-sucker.

Yahoo!

[C-PO screams]

[woman] Uh-oh. Those two speeders
just crossed over into the restricted zone.

Those seeker probes will
destroy them unless I help.

Master, what are those?

I'm not hanging
around to find out.

[C-PO screams]

This is most
uncomfortable. [Whimpers]

Sir! [Screams]

[C-PO screams]

[C-PO screams]

[Thall] PO!

Aaah!

[gasps]

Whoa. I better bail out.

Jord!

[Jord] Whoa!

[groans]

- I'm coming, buddy.
- [C-PO] Master, help. I'm over here!

If anyone cares.

Oh, dear.

Stay back, you...
you grease bucket!

I'm warning you.

Oh, my goodness.

I did that?

Oh. I do hope its
owner's not around.

What an arm, PO.

Oh, it was nothing.

But it seems, sir, that
someone is trying very hard

to ensure their
privacy in this area.

- Then let's go.
- A very wise suggestion, sir.

They got away, Tiggy.

Don't call me Tiggy.

Shall I call Sise and
tell him the project is off?

No need to concern my father.

The project will
continue as planned.

Once the Trigon
One is completed,

it will be impossible for
anyone to withstand its power.

[Vlix] But if those two
joyriders leak one word

about our secret base,
the other gangs will try to...

The other gangs won't know
anything until we move on them.

Hmm. I'll take care
of those two meddlers.

Ah, I'm gonna miss her.

That speeder was almost a part
of me. You know what I mean?

You're not comparing that
old rust bucket to the Witch?

[Jord] Nothing
compares to the Witch.

Excuse me, sir. The Witch?

Let me introduce you.

R, PO, meet the White Witch.

Thall spent three years working
this baby right down to the last bolt.

Come on, Jord. I couldn't
have done it without ya.

Ah. Thall's the brains behind
her. I just do the heavy work.

And drive.

You bet. We're gonna
blow 'em right off the track.

Yeah, but first we gotta get her
off planet to the speeder races.

[R-D beeps]

Well, we got a whole team
to figure that one out. Right?

[R-D beeps]

We'll test out R with
the Witch in the morning.

[Jord] See ya in town!

What?

[taps]

Sorry, we're closed. Wha...

[C-PO] You were right,
sir. They were following us.

They must be using IR sensors.

We have to warn Jord. Let's go.

- [R-D beeps]
- Quiet, R.

- [objects clattering]
- [C-PO screams]

[C-PO groans]

[objects clattering]

Master Thall, wait for me.

Oh, my goodness.

- [Thall] Jord.
- [R-D beeping]

Jord!

[woman] You're too late.

[C-PO screams]

[objects crashing]

A couple of muscle
droids took him away.

Hey, who are you?

Kea. Kea Moll.

My Starrunner grounded on
the salt flats. Engine trouble.

I need a mechanic. Saw you racing,
thought maybe you could help me.

Oh, thank you.
I'm most grateful.

But I see you've got
your own problems.

- [rustling]
- [R-D beeps]

Master Thall, R's sensors
detect movement outside.

They're back.

- I'll get the speeder.
- But Master...

Just as I suspected, R,
there's nothing out there.

[R-D beeps]

- Oh!
- [Kea gasps]

[Kea] Oh, no.

- Come on.
- [engine cranking]

Come on!

[groans] What's wrong?

Oh, no!

Sabotage? Oh, no!

Our master is trapped.

[R-D beeping]

- Don't come any closer.
- [C-PO] Oh! Our poor master, Thall.

- R, do something quick!
- [R-D beeps]

- Come on, R.
- I wish I had another rock.

[grunts]

Thall!

- [Thall] Let's go!
- [C-PO screams]

[Vlix laughs]

Look at them! They
look like beached wabas!

- It's just a minor malfunction.
- [beeps]

For what they cost you to build,

I could've got a few of
the old boys together.

That's the way old
Sise would've done it.

- [beeping]
- If it's not a droid, I don't trust it.

And I'm not my father. I'm me.

Maybe so, Tiggy,

but you would've had both those
troublemakers instead of just one.

- Don't call me Tiggy!
- [beeps]

Word can't leak
to the other gangs

about my secret operations
base or the Trigon One.

If it does, you, me, and your father
won't be worth a pinch of moon dust.

[Kea] That's Tig
Fromm's secret base.

They're probably
holding Jord in there.

[Thall] If he is, R
will find out where.

If you don't mind me asking, sir,
how do you plan to get R out of there?

The same way I got
him in. We'll use a decoy.

I was afraid you'd say that.

[machine whirring]

[R-D beeps]

[beeps]

Okay, R's in place. Get ready.

- [alarm blaring]
- Intruder alert.

Dispatch guardian droid.

[R-D beeps]

[R-D beeps]

[Thall] So these caves should
lead us right to the service tubes.

[R-D beeps]

- [laughs] Good work, R.
- [rapid beeping]

Looks like you got it all.

- Hey, hold it right there.
- [beeping slows]

[Kea] Looks like a
detention area, all right.

That indicator must be Jord.

PO, what are the chances of getting
the Witch through the service tubes,

picking up Jord and getting
back, without being detected?

I'm afraid about
,-to-, sir.

- Ah, could be worse.
- Not much worse.

- Nice suit.
- Have a seat.

[grunts]

Nice seat.

So... [sniffs] you're really
into electronics, huh?

Not me. Mr. Fromm.

[gasps]

[Jord] Sise Fromm,
the g*ng leader?

[Vlix laughs]

I am Tig Fromm. I
am of the new ways.

Technology is the key to the
power of the new Fromm g*ng.

Not ancient blood ties
and old-world methods.

Those are the ways
of my father, Sise.

You're not Sise?
Boy that's a relief.

I've heard stories
about your dad.

Kidnapping, extortion,
blaster-running. Are they all true?

Be careful, Mr. Dusat.
I am an ambitious man.

Whoa!

Ambitious men can be dangerous.

[groans] Just
trying to be friendly.

I don't want your friendship.
I just want your silence!

Hey, just tell me what I'm not
supposed to know, and you got it.

You know very little, only
about this secret base.

But even that information
in the hands of Jabba, Arnat,

or one of the other g*ng leaders
could be very harmful to my plan.

You sound like you're trying to take over
the other gangs or something. [Laughs]

- What?
- I didn't say nothing.

I was only kidding.
A joke! [Chuckles]

Ha ha.

You make too many
jokes, Mr. Dusat.

But yes, that's exactly
what I plan to do.

But as for you...

You want me to
rearrange his molecules?

[Tig] No need.

He's being transported to my
father's stronghold on Annoo.

Look, if you don't
let me outta of here,

I've got friends that'll
come in and bust me out.

And then you'll be sorry.

[Jord groaning]

Show me a droid
that can do that.

[Kea] Can't go any
further. Any ideas, Thall?

I did some repair work for
a stranger a long time ago.

He never came back to pick
up his speeder. This was in it.

- My word, a lightsaber.
- [lightsaber humming]

It should do the
trick. Stand back.

Handy little gadget.

Now, according to R, there's
a control station up ahead.

Let's go!

Good luck, you two.

[Thall on comm]
Monitor my position,

switch the a*t*matic
tube services to manual,

- and redirect the traffic out of my path.
- [beeping]

- Yes, sir.
- [Kea] I hope they can do it.

What's that?

A refuse cylinder.
We have to redirect it.

But to where?

[Kea] Tube four.

[Thall] Good work, PO.

[Kea] They're heading
into a heavy loading area.

Careful, sir.

Going into a bank
of elevator bays.

Yeah, so I see.

- [C-PO] Ready sir.
- [Kea] Easy, easy.

- Now!
- This is all so new to me.

Computer controls
are R's department.

[gasps] PO...

We are the maintenance crew.

The a*t*matic service
systems are malfunctioning.

[chitters]

What do you mean we're
not the maintenance crew?

[chittering]

Oh. You're the maintenance crew.
Well, that would make us security.

[chitters]

Yes, it does. And that means
someone sabotaged these systems.

- Why weren't you at your post?
- [chittering]

[chattering]

- [chitters]
- Ah. There's the culprit.

Aha! [Chitters]

- Not the alarm.
- [chitters]

- Stay back!
- Get down, you flying... Whoa!

- You'll force me to do something rash...
- [chitters]

Nice footwork, PO.

Well, when you've traveled around
the galaxy as much as I have...

You know I once used a
rock to demolish a particular...

- [Thall] PO! PO!
- The master.

The gates are closing.

Whose watching the controls?

The controls!

Nothing's happening. The gates
must have an override system.

Open them, PO. Open them!

[C-PO] We can't.

They're going to crash.

Hurry, PO. Hurry!

Oh, nothing works.

- [C-PO gasps]
- PO.

Ah! Whoa!

Oh, we made it.

[winces]

PO.

PO, say something!

R. You look lovely.

- Oh, PO, are you all right?
- Oh.

I'm not quite sure.

- Look.
- [beeping]

Thall, they're moving Jord.

Hurry!

Up the elevator tube, quick!

Oh, this won't be easy.

- Hang on, R. Hang on!
- [R-D whistles]

An elevator.

[R-D beeping]

Yahoo!

Uh, thanks guys,
but I've got a ride.

Hey, how's the Witch handle?

[laughs] Don't you ever
think of anything but racing?

What? No.

[laughs] All right!
We're too fast for 'em.

- [blaster fires]
- [gasps]

Faster, Thall. Faster.

Vlix, they're escaping!

Quick, we'll cut them
off in Subsection . Hurry!

Attention all units,
infiltrators in Subsection .

[chattering]

[Vlix] All units
to Subsection .

They're setting up an ambush.

Oh, dear.

Perhaps... All units
to Subsection .

Repeat, Subsection .

[R-D screams]

Shut down the power to those laser
pods before they destroy everything.

Activate the droid cruisers.

- Seal off the exits.
- [beeps]

If they do manage to get outside,
my droid cruisers will be waiting.

As soon as your cruisers
stick their noses outside,

your sentry droids
will blow them to bits.

The sentry droids?
The thermal spheres!

- Shut down power to the sentries. Hurry!
- [beeping]

[groans] This is what happens when
you send a droid to do a man's job.

- They're almost here.
- Well, don't just stand there.

Let's get going.

- [C-PO] Whoa!
- [gasps]

I got this one. And the others
are on their way, out there.

Hurry.

Quick thinking, PO.

[crash]

[C-PO] Master Thall, it's us.

Come back!

- Which way, PO?
- [R-D beeps]

R says there's a way out
in there. Hurry, Master. Hurry!

Wait for me!

Whoa!

[Thall] It's safe, PO. The sentry
droids have been deactivated.

If you say so, sir.

The ramp controls
still function.

Cruisers.

[C-PO screams]

[Thall] Jord, the Witch!

- [R-D beeps]
- We're trapped.

They were waiting for us. That's
why the droids' powers been cut.

Now what?

If we can reactivate
the sentry droids,

they'll destroy the
cruisers with their spheres.

[R-D beeps]

There's an emergency
override control out there, sir.

So override, PO. Override.

Me, sir?

Oh, if I must.

Ah, the override controls.

Oh. [Grunts]

Oh, I'm just not suited
to this kind of work.

- [beeping]
- Why did I ever get...

I must be out of my
mental capacities.

[taunts, gasps]

This should do it.

[Thall] PO did it.
They're activated.

[Kea] Move out.

[C-PO gasps]

Climb on.

Oh, Master.

[C-PO screams]

[blasters continue f*ring]

[R-D beeping]

[Jord] Slide her, Thall.

[Kea] Over there.

[Jord] Nice moves, little buddy.

Are we through yet?

[groans] More coming up.

Hang on, PO.

You don't have to tell me, sir.

Oh, dear. Riding inside
is bad enough. [blows]

[screams]

- [R-D beeps]
- It's the end.

- [Kea] Jord!
- Push it, buddy.

- [Thall] All right!
- [Jord] Yeah!

[all cheer]

- [Kea] We did it! [Laughs]
- [Jord] Let's do it again!

[Vlix] You blew
this one real good.

When the other gangs hear that
we were setting up for a take-over,

it's gonna get real hot
for us and your father.

I think it's time
for a long vacation.

I understand the swamps of Borga
are almost habitable this time of year.

[chuckles]

[Jord] So, I figure that's the last
we'll see of Tig Fromm for a while.

Well, aren't you gonna thank me?

Thank you? Thank you for what?

You told me to figure out a
way to get us and the White Witch

to the Boonta Speeder
Race, didn't you?

Well, I did it.

Here we are. An
express-run right to it.

[Thall] Okay, thank you.

Now, what about us?

What do you mean?

[chuckles] As I recall, aren't we
the ones that risked our necks?

To save yours.

Hey... [chuckles]
...what are friends for.

So don't get it into that
thick metallic head of yours

that you've got a
future in speeder racing.

[R-D beeping]

Well, of course I'm
concerned for your well-being,

but more than that, I
don't think you're capable.

It takes a certain sophistication,
a subtle turn of the wrist.

The delicate command
at the controller.

A certain balance.

Whoa! Ah! Ooh!

[R-D beeps]

You see, racing is dangerous
even when you're not in a speeder.

[R-D beeps]

[groans]