02x21 - Alex Jumps Out of an Airplane

[bunniefuu]

( theme music playing )

Hey, uh, you guys mind

if I sit with you?

You know the
rules, Louie.

You're not
allowed

to drink with us.
Yeah.

I got a little problem
I'd like to talk over,

but if that's
the way you feel.

Hey, Louie, you got
a problem, Lou?

Come on.
That's all right.

You don't want
to hear it.

Come on, Louie,
tell us

about your
problem, come on.

Come on, Lou.

Here you go.
Come on, big...

All right.

I want to hear it.

My problem is
I'm bored.

Oh, you
are, huh?

Yeah.

I'm so bored, I got
nothing better to do

than to sit here
and talk with you losers.

That's a dirty
shame, Louie.

Hey, Louie, Mr. Mackenzie
just called.

He said you got to get
back to the garage right away.

Sheesh!

I've been gone two minutes,
and Mackenzie panics.

He couldn't run
that company without me.

Did he say
what the problem was?

Yeah, he wants you to get him
some cigarettes.

Cabs without brakes
to anybody who laughs.

I mean it, Banta!

One snicker and
you'll get a cab

you can't stop
for a month.
( stifled laugh )

Tony, Tony,
just think about

something sad,
something awful.

Yeah, like how
poor Louie

has to pick up
cigarettes

for the boss,
like some kind
of flunky.

( cackling )

That did it, Banta.

You better pray
for green lights.

TONY:
It was worth it.

( all laughing )

Rieger.

Hi, Louie.

Hey, Alex.

How you
doing?

Hey.
Hi.

Another
glass,
Tommy.

TOMMY:
Coming up!

So, uh...

how was your
latest ski weekend?

Wonderful.

Is that all?

I'm sorry, guys, but I don't
want to talk about it.

Why not?
ELAINE:
Oh!

ALEX:
Because I had

an experience that, um...

well, it's very difficult to put
it into words, and, uh...

I just... I'm afraid that
if I talk about it,

it's going to make it seem
commonplace and, well,

it wasn't commonplace.

I mean, it was very
important to me.

I mean, it was profound.

It's changed me in a way

that I'll never be able
to think or feel

or be the same way again.

Did you meet
any chicks?

Alex, you know you're
going to tell us
about it eventually.

And you know that
we're all waiting
to hear you tell us.

Oh, please, please...
And you know
that none of us

are going to talk
about anything else

until you do
tell us, so...

Okay.

I met a girl.

Right.

Her name was Linda.

She got the bluest eyes
I've ever seen.

Anyway, we were skiing
together on Saturday,

and um, she said, "Don't you
think that ski jumping

is the biggest
thrill in this life?"

And I said, "I don't know.
I always thought

it was good for
a couple of laughs."

And I mean,
somehow or
another

she interpreted that to mean
that I'd done it before,

so she suggested
that we go up and take a jump.

I was looking at
her just like you're
looking at me.

I mean, I-I didn't know what
else to say, so I said, "Okay."

I mean... No, I thought someone
would come along

or somebody or something
would come along

to stop us before
we actually did it.

Well, anyway, we started
climbing... and climbing...

and climbing...

and climbing...

Alex, why didn't
you just tell her

that you've never
done it before?

Did I mention that she had the
bluest eyes I've ever seen?

Say no more.

Anyway,
so we get
to the top

and we look down,
and I'm telling you

it was straight down.

I mean, just standing there
and looking, I couldn't breathe.

You know, sometimes
when you get so scared

you can hear your heartbeat?

Yeah.

She heard my heartbeat.

The people down
in the lodge were saying,

"What's that noise up there?"
I'm telling you!

Maybe that would have been
a good time to tell her

that you've never
done it before.

Well, yeah, I would've,
but it's very difficult

to talk and whimper
at the same time, so...

So, did you go down it?

Well, uh...

she gave me a kiss good-bye,
and she went down.

And I watched.

I mean,

she made a beautiful jump,
and I was up there by myself.

So, I, uh, I started
to take off my skis

so I can climb back down,
you know?

But even that was a little
scary to me, so then, well,

I said, "Wait a minute.

What kind of a person am I?"

I sit in my cab

all my life
just driving around.

You know, I've never tried
to push myself.

I mean, all my life

I-I've taken
the safe way.

You know, I've made
the rational choice.

I said, "This one time I'm going
to do the opposite."

You mean you jumped?

Well, you know, Tony,
the difference between going

and not going
is really a very small amount.

I mean, all you have to do

is shift your weight forward
just the slightest bit--

I mean, less than
you'd even think.

Certainly less than I thought.

So you decided to go?

Well, I don't know if I decided,
but, uh...

Maybe it was me,
maybe it was the breeze.

But I went! I'm telling you,
I went straight down!

I mean, the tears were streaming
back from my eyes

alongside my head.

The G-force was so great
it was pulling my cheeks back.

I knew there was no force
on heaven and Earth

that was going to stop me now,
as I went.

And then... I was flying.

I was flying.
TONY:
Ooh!

I'm telling you, I was flying.

I was so glad that I'd listened
to Jim McKay all those years,

because I knew just what to do,
you know?

I mean, how to keep my chin out
over the tips of my skis.

But that was going to be no
small trick,

because I was upside down,
I couldn't find my chin.

And there I was
120 miles above

Lake Placid,
and I couldn't find my chin!

So how-how
did you land?

You're not going
to believe this.

I actually landed on my feet.
TONY:
All right!

And then on my head,
and then on my back

and then on my feet.

By the time I came to
a complete halt,

I was the biggest snowball
in the history of Lake Placid.

( laughs )

And then, when I thawed out,

I found myself staring into
the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

And she said,
"Boy, you got guts."

BOBBY:
Oh.

Wow.

( speaks Italian )
That's some Saturday.

Don't you understand?
I actually did it.

I mean, that was the biggest
thrill of my life.

Well...

ever since that
Saturday on that ski jump,

I, uh... my food has tasted
a little better,

the air has smelled
a little fresher,

the sky seems a little bluer,

and this life has seemed
just a little bit nicer.

( chuckles )

So, I've decided...

the most important thing in a
man's life is to face his fears.

Tommy?

TOMMY:
Yo.

Set 'em up...

and put it on the snowball.

( chuckles )

You know, Alex, it's-it's
like that with acting, too.

It's like
the biggest thrill

is when,
is when the role

is so challenging
or the performance
so important

that there's a chance
I could blow it

and be humiliated.

Right.
TONY:
Hey, maybe

that's why
boxing's so
thrilling.

Every time I
go in the ring,

I got a sh*t at
being humiliated.

( Elaine laughs )

And of being
badly injured.

Yeah, sounds like you got
the best of both worlds.

I guess that's why
it's so exciting.

I mean, let
me tell you,

every time you
step in that ring,

you're testing
yourself.

Say that again, Tony.

What did I say?

ALEX:
Hey, Tony?

I want to learn
how to box.

Oh, come on, Alex.
BOBBY:
What?

ALEX:
No, no, no,
I-I mean it.

Would you
teach me?

Sure.

How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow's fine.
Great!

Oh, I get what you're doing.
I mean,

you didn't k*ll yourself enough
on the slopes,

so now you want
to do it in the ring.

No, you don't understand.

You see, getting hit
has been one of my fears.

TONY:
Yeah, I know.

And I want
to confront it.

Listen to how you're talking.

I mean, what's
going on with you?

I don't know!

But ever since that jump
on Saturday,

I understand what Hemingway
was talking about.

Every man has fears,

but those who face
their fears with dignity

have courage, as well.

For instance, that piano.

You're going to ski
off that piano?

No, you see, I, uh...

well, I-I know
how to play the
piano a little bit,

you see, but...
I've always been afraid

of calling attention
to myself, you know?

Alex, what are
you doing?

I don't know.

I... I...

I'll do a little,
uh... "Being Alive."

( mutters ):
I don't know.

( plays lilting notes )

( hits wrong note )

Hmm...

( repeats phrasing )

* Somebody hold me too close

* Somebody hurt me too deep...

* Somebody sit
in my chair... *

* And ruin my sleep

* And make me aware

* Of being alive...

( stops playing )

* Being alive...

* Somebody need me too much

* Somebody know me too well

* Somebody pull me
up short *

* And put me through hell

* And give me support

* For being alive...

* Being alive

* Being alive...

Being alive.

( plays flourish )

( laughs )

( whooping )

Well, thank you!

Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.

Are there any requests?

"Being Alive."

I think I know that one.

* Somebody need me too much

* Somebody know me
too well... *

That's good, Alex.

Ooh, yeah, yeah.
Stick that jab.

That's it,
stick it, yeah.

( grunts )

Oh, be careful.
All right.

Ooh, good sh*t!

( grunts )

Ooh, eh, that hurt.

Ooh, hey, yeah, uh.

Alex, Alex, Alex?

Yeah.
Don't drop your hands.

I did that in a college
fight-- it k*lled me.

Gotcha.
Okay.

Hey, yeah, that's good.
Yeah, sh**t it.

Yeah, that's it.
sh**t it, yeah.

Whoo, whoo, wait.
Alex, Alex, Alex?
What?

You're telegraphing
your punches.

You can't do that, you see?

See, I did that with
Ellison-- I was
out for a week.

Okay?

Okay, here we go.

Okay, oh, good eye...

Oh, Alex, Alex,
Alex, Alex...

You can't take your eyes
off your opponent.

I did that with
Sinacori-- ended up
in the second row.

No substitute
for experience.

Oh, yeah.

( grunting )

Oh, what... Hey!

All right,
all right,
all right.

Okay, Alex, you're
doing good.

Let's take
a little break.

Okay.

Whoo!

( panting )

How am I doing, Tony?

Be honest with me.

I'll tell you the truth, Alex.
You know, you got

good boxing instincts,
and you got great reflexes, too.

Really?
Yeah, really.

Hey, come on, let's just forget
about this break.

Let's get back
in the ring and spar.

I want to do some more
sparring, some real sparring.

Oh, no, Alex, I don't think
you're ready

for that kind of sparring
with a professional.

I'll right, I'll settle
for an amateur.

Must be one in the gym
who'd spar with me.

Oh, yeah, I guess
you could try him.

He any good?

No, but he's safe.

No, Tony, I
don't want safe.

The idea is
to get in there

with someone
who isn't safe.

I mean, I don't
want a pushover.

( mutters )

I want him.

He'll k*ll you.

Well, maybe there's
somebody else.

No, man, no,
I want him.

Is he an amateur?

Yeah, a good amateur.

Bring him on.
Alex, I'm
telling you...

I can't let you do
this, it's dangerous.

No, I just want to go
one round with the guy.

Just one round.
I'll stay away from him.

Just one round.
Look, I just want
the thrill

of being in the
ring with a guy

who's looking to knock
my head off...

and who could.

Alex, I understand
that feeling,

but this guy
could break your jaw...

Tony, Tony,
just one round.
I got to do this.

Hey, uh, Carl?

Yeah.

Want to box
with my buddy?

Sure.

Carl, I'm talking
one round, man,

no more,
and I'm gonna time it.

And take it
easy on him,

'cause he's
new at this.

Hey, hey, forget that
"take it easy" stuff!

Now, wait a minute.
No, I'm going to go all out,

and I suggest you do
the same thing.

Okay.

No sense going crazy
on me, though, you know.

Don't worry,
I'll be all right.

You got any
last tips?

Don't do this.

Don't worry.
I'll go easy
on the guy.

All right.

Okay... box.

Looking good, Al.

Hey, man, you want
to box or not?

Uh-oh.

Alex?
Hmm?

Alex?
Wha, wha,
what...?

Alex?
What?

What happened?

You got
knocked out.

I did?
Yeah, man, you took

a mean-looking sh*t
to the head, Al.

Would that have knocked
out a good boxer?

It would have knocked
out a rhinoceros.

All right, all right!

I got knocked out!

I took it,
Tony, I took it,

and I feel great!

Tommy, how about
another one?

Oh, I think you've
had enough, Jim.

Ahh, the morning's
young.

Give me another one.

Okay.

( glass breaks )

Did a beer just go by?

Sure did.

You're right
again, Tommy.

( indistinct voices )

Hey, Jim.

Don't tell me
you're going home?

Okay, if you hear
about it,

you didn't
hear it from me.

So anybody know

what "Rieger Knievel"
is doing today?

God only knows.

He's facing
some fear
or other.

This is getting
ridiculous.

I mean, that man is a
living beer commercial.

I mean, where's it
going to end?

Hi, guys.

Oh, Alex,
you having
a normal day?

Yeah.

Oh, you mean,
you haven't
laughed

in the face
of death even
once today?

I haven't
even snickered.

And you're actually
depressed about it?

Yeah.

You know, last week
was one of

the greatest in my life.

Now I'm running
out of things to do.

Thrill Seekers?

Well, it just
caught my eye
at the newsstand.

Aw, they're out of
the latest copy
of Death Wish?

( Bobby laughs )

Rieger, there you are.
Hi, Louie.

Been looking all over for you.

What do
you...?
Banta, move over.

Move it,
move it,
move it.

All right.
All right.

All right, man!

I got some papers I
want you to sign here.

What are
those?

I want to insure your life.

What?
TONY:
I don't believe him.

This guy's
unbelievable.

Now, listen, listen.
We've been through

a lot together,
Rieger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just felt like I
had to do this for you.

Mm-hmm.
I took out a $50,000
life insurance policy,

and in the event

that anything
should happen to you--

God forbid
a million times--

I get the money,
'cause I took
out the policy.

Don't you have
to go someplace
to shed skin, Louie?

Now, now, Rieger, Rieger,

I understand
that these matters

are very difficult
to talk about.

But listen,
you haven't heard
the best part yet.

I made your daughter,
Cathy co-beneficiary.

She gets
half the money.

Louie, you are
really the worst.

( growls )

Okay.

Okay, I'll sign it.

Are you kidding,
Alex?

No, I think something
should go to her...

if anything should happen
to me when I do this.

( sighs ):
You're going to
wrestle a shark?

No, no, no,
this page.

I'm going to
jump out of
an airplane.

Oh, my God.

Hot dog!
Sign right there.

I'm going to jump
out of an airplane.

Are you nuts,
Alex...?
I can't believe...

There is nothing
more terrifying
to me in this life

than jumping out
of an airplane.

Who's going to
go with me, huh?

All right, Alex,
this is going too far.

All right, you had
a good ski vacation,

and you've been having
a lot of fun lately,
but th-this is crazy.

Oh, no, you
don't understand.

Listen to this.
Just listen
to this:

"Skydiving is the
single greatest
thrill in this life.

"There is a point at
which you stop falling

and you start flying."

( chuckles )
I heard it's
wonderful...

wonderful!
Right here!

Don't you think
it's a little odd

that your beneficiary

wants you
to do this?

Come on, get
out of here!

Who's going
with me?

Who's going with me?

How-how-how much
more time?

A couple
of minutes.

Oh.

Okay, time to prepare
for the jump.

I'm nervous.

It's... it's okay, Alex.
I'm nervous, too,

and I'm not even
jumping, thank God.

Oh, I... it just
slipped out.
I'm sorry.

Hey, it's normal to be
nervous first time out.

Sure it is,
sure it is.

You got nothing
to worry about.

Just what do
you think his
chances are?

Louie, sit down
and shut up.

INSTRUCTOR:
It's such a beautiful
day for a jump.

Just do everything
exactly as you did

in ground school.

Everything's going
to be fine.

Believe me, you're
going to love it.

Just wish I were jumping today.

How come
you're not?

Last time I jumped,
I injured my spleen.

Soon as I'm able, though,
I'll be jumping again.

It's that
good, huh?

Oh, it's better than sex.

It's better than most sex.

Listen, uh, maybe we can, uh,
get together

and compare some notes and do
some persuading, you know.

I take a lot of
persuading.

Well, just give me
some time, and...

ALEX:
Hey, Bobby, will you
cut that out?

Can't you wait
till I'm gone?
Till I've jumped?

You're right...

All right,
you ready, Mr. Rieger?

Huh? Ready?
For what?

Oh... oh, yeah...

I guess so.

Okay, Alex,
we're all with you.

( grunts )

That's it...

Okay.

ALEX:
Oh. my God.

INSTRUCTOR:
We're almost over the jump
area, so let's get set.

Get you hooked up.

BOBBY:
Just hooking him up.

You know what just
occurred to me,

sitting here with the
breeze blowing in my face

and my adrenaline
pumping me up

to do what few men
will ever attempt?

What's that, Alex?

I'm not going down there.
I'm not going down there.

I'm not going to go.

But Alex!
I'm not go... Ah!

What about the single most
greatest thrill in your life?

( screams )

Oh, no, I don't
want to go.
All right, okay, Alex?

Okay, Alex, you don't
have to go

if you don't want to--
you don't have to.
No...?

Here, here,
I'll-I'll handle this.

Alex?

What?

A man's got to do

what a man's got to do.

( yells )

Louie, Louie...!

( shudders )

All right, all right,
look, look, Rieger?

Yeah, what?

I'm not trying to
force you into anything.

I just want you to know--

so that you don't get
the wrong idea here--

this is very
hard for me to say,

but I just want you to know
what kind of guy I am.

I got $50,000 riding on this,
and I still hope you don't die.

I hope you're not waiting
for applause, Louie.

INSTRUCTOR:
If you're going,
Mr. Rieger,

it's got
to be now.

Alex, Alex, you don't
have to do this

if you don't want to.

Nobody's going to think
any less of you.

Nobody but me.

Geronimo-o-o...

o-o-oh...

Alex?

What?

You're still here.

I am? I could
swear I jumped.

My spirit jumped.

It's just my body
that's left here.

Ah, what the hell?

( screaming )

I'm going to die!

I'm going to die.

I'm going to die!

I'm going to die...

ohh...

It opened.

The chute opened.

I'm not going to die.

I'm not going to die;
I'm going to live.

I'm going to live.

* Oh, life is good

* Life is wonderful...

And I'm going to throw up.

I'm going to...
I'm going to spend

the single greatest thrill
of my life throwing up.

No, hold it, hold it,
I'm going to be okay.

It passed,
it's going to be okay.

Oh, my God, look at this,
it's incredible.

I feel like... I feel like...

like...

* Being alive

* Being alive...

* Being ali-i-ve...

( laughing )

...and you feel
small, fragile

but also
strangely
invincible,

as if you're no longer a part of
that miniature world below you,

because you've just
separated yourself

from reality
for the moment...

( snoring )
...by diving
from that plane

and plunging
toward Earth

in defiance of
your own mortality.

I mean, it's
all dreamlike.

Nothing real
can touch you

as you float
in your reverie...

trying to understand
what you're feeling,

and at the same time,
not wanting to understand it,

because it's too magnificent
to be within the grasp

of detached logic
and finite thoughts,

which limit your glimpse
of boundless, wondrous...

magnificence.

( theme music playing )

WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.

( grunts )