01x14 - Fibber

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lilo & Stitch". Aired: September 20, 2003 – July 29, 2006.*
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Continuing where Stitch! The Movie left off, Lilo and Stitch are given the task of collecting the rest of Jumba's missing experiments, changing them from bad to good, and finding the one place where they truly belong.
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01x14 - Fibber

Post by bunniefuu »

Tookie bah waba!

Hao!

Iki bah bah.

Ha ha ha.

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Ha ha ha!

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

♪ Gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

Ooocha! Chi-ka!

♪ Miki miki coconut ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Aah!

Pleakley, we got one!

Uhh. Uhh!

And you brought it home.

Lovely.

What does this
little monster do?

That's what we're
gonna find out.

Meega naga gati!

No way.

I can figure it out before you.

Aah!

Hmm.

No. No.

Cool.

But no.

I got it!

It... experiment .

Yeah.

I knew which experiment
it was all along.

Heh heh.

says you are telling fib.

How does he know?

Is lie detector experiment.

The more you lie,
the more he beeps.

Forces people to tell the truth,

resulting in complete chaos.

Is genius, no? Heh heh.

How could the truth cause chaos?

Ah, society is like cloth,

and lies are the thread

which are holding it together.

Pull thread,
civilization unravels.

Heh heh!

Humans cannot survive

telling truth all the time.

I'm gonna name you fibber.

Until we find a
new home for you,

you can stay with
me in my house.

Lilo!

Did you clean up your room?

Yes.

Ha ha! Ajibba.

Ha ha ha!

Stitch's bed.

That's where you'll stay.

He's the one that
caught you, anyways.

And keep him out of the way.

We don't want

the t-shirt of civilization

to come apart.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Whoo! Oh... where's gantu?

He said something
about a spa weekend.

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm...

This is unacceptable.

You tell that flapping fish face

he doesn't get a vacation

until he catches
all the experiments!

What? Suddenly,
I'm his secretary?

Aah!

Yeah! Ha ha!

Pleakley!

Your phone is ringing.

Eh, it's his mother.

Always calling, night and day,

telling him to find a wife.

A wife?

Like a lady to marry?

No!

No! No! There will
be no wife, no lady,

and no marry!

My earth studies are my life.

I don't have time
for a relationship.

Hello?

Lilo, no!

Hang up.

Hello? Pleakley?

Is that you?

Mother?

Pleakley! Aw!

You know how long I've
been trying to reach you?

No, I don't.

You see, I lost my
phone in the ocean.

So tell me, son,

have you found a
nice girl to marry yet?

I'm working on it.

Ugh.

Well, you can stop looking

because I found one for you.

Ta-da!

She is breathtaking, isn't she?

Now, her parents are arranging

a big, fancy
wedding as we speak.

W-w-w-wedding?

I knew you would be thrilled!

Pack your things.

A limo craft is on its way
to bring you back home

to meet your new bride.

Wait! I am not thrilled.

I am the opposite of thrilled.

I'm unthrilled.

I don't want to get married!

How long will you be gone?

Oh, not very long.

Just... forever!

But you can't leave.

We're your ohana.

Ohana means "family."

And you always
will be my family.

I'll miss this beautiful planet,

the smoothie bars,
the -eyed people,

the mosquitoes.

So do not go.

Tell mother you refuse

to marry ugly wife lady.

And disgrace my
family's good name?!

Where I come from,

when your parents
choose your ugly spouse,

you must honor their decision.

Hey!

What if you told your mom

that you already had
a woman to marry?

I can't lie to my own mother!

Oh, nonsense.

Lies are holding
civilization together.

Yes. I'm engaged.

Isn't it wonderful?

When did all this happen?

Well, just a few hours ago.

Yeah! A few hours
ago. I've been...

Just so busy with
getting engaged

that I forgot to tell you.

Nice girl? Of course
she's a nice girl.

Cook? She's a...
Professional chef.

Keep him quiet.

Yes, I'm afraid you will have to

call off that big,
fancy wedding,

'cause I'm getting
married on Sunday.

What's that crazy beeping?

Uh... it's the doorbell.

Yes. It's the doorbell.

Wedding planner's
here. Got to go.

Whew.

Well? She bought it.

She actually bought it.

This lying thing is
working out really well.

Hmm. Who could that be?

Oh, it's that limo craft

mother sent to pick me up.

You know, before I
told her I was engaged.

Ha ha ha!

Boy, did I pull the wool

over mom's eye.

She is so... Here!

We hopped a worm hole

as soon as we found out.

I... I... I...

What? Did you
think your own family

would miss your wedding?

Come here. Give mama a hug.

Ohh.

Mother, pixley, bertley.

What a wonderful surprise.

Ohh.

You actually live in this hovel?

It's a home.

Oh. How rude of me

not to introduce you all.

This is lilo and her
monster dog thing.

Aloha!

Pleased to meet you.

Pleakley!

Are you wearing
female earth clothes?

No.

Well, yes.

I mean, it's strictly a disguise

for an important
m*llitary mission,

and it highlights
my washboard abs.

So, where's my
future daughter-in-law?

I can't wait to meet her.

Daughter-in-law. Right.

Well, you see, she's, uh...

Lilo, who's that at the door?

She'll be right out.

Are you lolo?

But otherwise, I'll lose
one of my alien baby-sitters.

You'll still have
your uncle jumba.

I'm not gonna be
pleakley's fiancée!

Ok, I understand.

Besides, jumba is
perfectly qualified

to be my baby-sitter.

Jumba!

Can I play with the chain saw?

Of course.

But try not to lose finger.

Is messy.

All right! All right.

I'll do it.

Thanks, nani.

I'll never be bad again.

Well... looks like it's ready.

Volcano surprise.

Heh heh.

Ahh, it's so good to see my son

finally getting married.

So, Wendy tells us you're...

Wendy? Wendy?

My brother, your fiancé,

the one-eyed wonder
sitting next to you.

His name's Wendy?

You're marrying him,

and you don't even
know his name?

Oh, well, I always
just call him honeykins.

Uhh!

Ahh, he was always embarrassed

by his name.

I don't understand why.

It means "brave
warrior" in plorganar.

Oh, how I wanted that name.

Maybe he was embarrassed by it

because he
couldn't live up to it.

I mean, look at his career.

Excuse me, but
being an earth expert

is highly respectable.

I'm the c.E.O.

Of a medium-sized galaxy.

I have a bathroom in my office.

You share a bunk bed
with an evil scientist.

Do the math, brother.

Ok, ok. Pick on
Wendy time is over.

Let's talk about the wedding.

Now, how many
guests are you having?

Guests? Oh, let's
see. About... none.

They're getting
married at city hall.

Uhh. Uhh!

That's crazy talk!

No son of mine is swearing

his eternal intergalactically
binding vows

without a decent wedding.

Eternal binding vows?!

Hello. Wendy's hovel.

Aloha.

Who is this?

This is pixley pleakley,

ph.d. and c.E.O. Of
the glorknot galaxy.

Who's this?

This is David,

surfer and nani's boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Apparently, nani didn't
tell you she's engaged.

She's what?

Engaged, as in
"engaged to be married."

Are all you earth
people this dense?

Nani's getting married?

Oh, if only grandma pleakley

could see you in
her wedding dress.

Um, you know,

I don't think we'll be able

to do this whole wedding thing.

We don't even have
anyone to marry us.

There, there.

Not to worry.

I found you a minister.

He was ordained

at the happy slots chapel

in a place called Las Vegas.

I think the veil

hides a multitude
of flaws, dear.

Lilo!

Uhh! Ow!

Lilo!

This... has...
gone... way too far!

I'm not going to marry pleakley!

But it's just pretend,

like when I married the rat

that lives in the garage.

His mother ordered
a real minister!

You can't back out now.

Watch me.

Now what do I do?

Little girl,

did you want to play with this?

I'm home. What?!

My ship!

The par-tay is over.

How long has the container
computer been beeping?

Ever since you left,

and boy, is it irritating.

I just drowned it out
with electro dance party .

Warning.

Experiment activated.

Oh, hamstaviel's
going to pummel me.

Oh, that reminds me.

The rat face called,
but not to worry.

I hung up on him

before he described how
he was gonna pummel you.

Ha ha ha.

When I get back,
I'm pummeling you!

Whoo. Oh, easy. Whoa.

Oh, too late there, COD boy.

Your breath b*at you to it.

Whoa!

She's beautiful!

Where is nani?

Things just didn't work out.

You know how it is.

This one has even more
eyes than the last one.

Mother?

So long as he marries
someone. Continue.

Well, dearly beloved,

here we are, gathered,

to witness the e'erlasting union

of Wendy and, uh... Jumbina.

He escaped.

Ha chuta.

Wendy, it's vow time.

Lay 'em on us, babe.

Ha ha ha!

Ahem!

Dearest, the day we met,

I couldn't take my eye off you.

Will someone please stop
that incessant beeping?!

Hmm.

Well, then, looks like we
have all the rings here today...

The wedding
ring, the suffer-ring,

and the t*rture ring!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, what a joyous day.

By the power vested in me

as sole owner and proprietor
of happy slots chapel,

I know pronounce
you husband and...

Nani!

Nani, you can't...

You are interrupting climax
of earth ceremony, surf boy.

I can't what, David?

Oh?

Nani.

Hi.

I...

let me guess.

Another ex-boyfriend?

Aah!

Give me the abomination
and no one gets hurt.

This is a private wedding.

Do you have an invitation?

Wedding?!

Is there cake? Ow!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Trog, I'll destroy you!

You stay away from my sister!

Not until she tells me

where the abomination is.

We don't have it!

What was that?

Nothing.

Fibber!

Aha!

The truth comes out.

No!

Aah! Lilo!

Yai!

Fibber!

Heh heh heh!

I knew big belly would be
coming in handy some day.

Ha ha ha ha!

You won't stop me, trog!

I will get that lie-detector!

A lie-detector?

A lie-detector?

You mean this whole thing
has been a great big lie?

The fiancé, the
wedding, everything?

Well, not everything.

Exactly.

Yes.

We traveled million
miles for nothing?

I lost days of my
important work for this.

You are not fit to
wear the name Wendy!

I hate you.

Hey! Fibber's been beeping.

All that mean stuff your
family just yelled at you

must not be how
they really feel.

It... it wasn't?

Why else would fibber
have been beeping?

So bertley doesn't hate me.

No.

I don't hate you.

I never did. I was
just... Jealous!

I mean, look at you.

You're tall, you're handsome,

you're a babe magnet.

He didn't beep!

It must be true!

I'm a babe magnet.

And you're creative, too.

I felt inferior to
you my whole life.

But you're the
c.E.O. Of a galaxy!

I was just trying to
be better than you.

And what did it get me?

A high-powered career,
a custom shoe closet,

and bone-searing loneliness!

Your shoes have
their own closet?

It's all my fault.

I pushed you all too hard!

I just wanted my
children to be happy!

But, mom, I am happy!

No, don't be ridiculous.

How can you be happy?

You're not even married.

I don't want to be
married, mother.

I'm happy just as I am.

Then can I marry nani?

No! No!

Oh.

You know,

I'm even happier now that I know

that you all really love me!

You do, right?

Well... Well,
you're not perfect.

Perfect?

Try living with a sister

who pours grape
jelly in your socks.

Or a sister who hogs
the bathroom for hours!

But no matter how much
we annoy each other,

we're still ohana.

And we love our ohana...

Just the way we are.

Ah ha ha ha!

See? The t-shirt of human
civilization is made of love...

Not lies.

I hate to interrupt
the lovefest,

but, uh, who's
droppin' the cha-ching?

Have a safe trip, everyone!

Good-bye!

Bye, son!

Take care of yourself!

Try wearing men's
clothes more often.

Oh, don't worry, I will!

Ok. Bye-yee!

Now we just have to figure
out what to do with fibber.

I said I'd be back.

Oh, no!

Come on. Hop into our ship!

We can still catch him!

We'll catch him another day.

For now, let him
stay with gantu.

He could use a little chaos.

No, no, no. I
wasn't on vacation.

It was an educational
conference.

You lying lump of lubber!

You're on probation!

Ohh!

You know, fib,

I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
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