02x01 - Spike

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lilo & Stitch". Aired: September 20, 2003 – July 29, 2006.*
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Continuing where Stitch! The Movie left off, Lilo and Stitch are given the task of collecting the rest of Jumba's missing experiments, changing them from bad to good, and finding the one place where they truly belong.
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02x01 - Spike

Post by bunniefuu »

Tookie bah waba!

Hao!

Iki bah bah.

Ha ha ha.

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

♪ Gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

Ooocha! Chi-ka!

♪ Miki miki coconut ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Today's speaker has
helped thousands of people

through her syndicated
TV and radio shows

and is the
best-selling author of

I'm peachy, you're peachy.

Here's your water,
doctor... whoa!

Oh, I'm sorry, doctor.

I'll get a mop, I'll get a mop.

Grr!

Ow! What is that thing?

A mutant porcupine
or... or... buh!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the smartest
person in the world,

Dr. Gladys okra.

Duh!

♪ ♪

wee!

♪ The tummy bone's
connected to the head bone ♪

she doesn't sound nearly
as smart as she does on TV.

♪ Toot lama lama honk honk! ♪

What's that?

Aah!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Good work today, class,

but before you go
I have a reminder.

Tomorrow is the ohanarama
trivia championship,

and this year we have
an outstanding grand prize.

Oh, goody. I get a prize.

And what makes you think
your family's gonna win, myrtle?

Because we always win.

It's a brand-new computer.

Aah!

So brush up on your trivia.

But you already have a computer.

Three, actually. That's
why I'm a child prodigy.

I bet lilo's not smart enough

to even have a computer.

I have advanced alien
technology computers,

and then there's my dog.

He knows molecular physics.

Bark bark!

I always knew you
were dense, lilo,

but I didn't know you could
be outsmarted by a dog.

Yeah!

But I know one thing for sure.

If your family is half
as thick as you are,

you don't stand a
chance at the ohanarama.

Gadjanafee!

No, stitch. We're going to need

more than a voodoo
doll to b*at myrtle.

Her family does
always win somehow.

Jumba, have you
seen the colander?

Hey! That better be an
electric spaghetti strainer

or we're having soggy pasta.

Is not for cooking,
is eviliminator,

new genius way for turning
experiments from bad to good.

I'm testing on experiment ,

designed to annoy enemies
with non-stop talking.

Anyway, she's a
sagittarius, I'm a Leo,

so we're really good...
Hey, what's going on?

Oh, is that for
me? What's it do?

Hey, jumba, maybe we can
out for ice cream later, huh?

Can we, can we, can we?

My favorite's pistachio, but
rocky road's pretty good, too.

I also like peppermint
cherry and chocolate almond

and cookie double crunch
and pumpkin blueberry

mocha mint Chip, and of
course that seasonal ho-ho-ho.

Get it? Christmas. Ha ha!

Vanilla bean, tutti-frutti,
fudge nut swirl,

butter pecan, apple walnut,
banana chocolate Chip,

BlackBerry ice, chocolate
banana hazelnut,

cashew butter crunch, maple
parfait, cinnamon banana walnut,

lemon sorbet, coconut
pineapple, key lime, pistachio...

Stop talking!

Strawberry, praline, carmel
honey or cinnamon crunch...

Eh, perhaps polarity needs
minor re-adjustamentation.

Has it ever occurred to you

that there might be a better way

to turn evil experiments
to good, huh?

Better than untested
hazardous technology?

Impossible! No
such thing exists.

Well, Mr. I'm-such-

a-super-genius-i-think-i-know-everything-

and-never-give-my-roommate-any-credit-
even-when-he's-right-

especially-about-wearing
white-after-labor-day...

I've been watching
Dr. Okra on TV

and have learned how earthlings
deal with their emotional problems.

It's fascinating. First
they all sit in a circle,

and then, uh, hugging,

crying, oh, and throwing chairs!

Evil genius jumba is intrigued.

Jumba, pleakley,
get your hat and wig!

We need to go to the museum
to brush up on our trivia.

Gentlemen, you are the
finest minds on the planet,

and together you're gonna
whup myrtle edmonds

in the ohanarama tomorrow.

The owhattawhoda?

Ohanarama. It's a contest.

Kind of like a game show.

Hey, if fun inane contest
is not until tomorrow

why are we not
relaxationing at home

with frosty beverage?

Practice. Trivia contests
mean you have to know

every fact about anything
that ever happened anywhere.

Ow!

Ooh! Free soda!

How come you're not
on the team with us?

Well, I'm just a
dopey little earthling,

and we need alien
geniuses on our team.

Heh! Then why is pleakley here?

Hey! Ha ha! Kidding.

Ookataka! Biddadubya
gigga ramond akachuta.

Everything going ok? Ookataka!

Hmm. Is reminding me of ex-wife.

Before facelift.

"Wash with like colors only."

They're sure to
ask that question.

Aah!

Experiment ! Run!

Stitch, that's one
of your cousins!

Grr!

Oh!

Ow! Ooh! Ow!

Magata!

Unh!

Yee-hah! Ow!

Ha ha ha!

Way to go, stitch.

Stitch, what's wrong?

Buh!

Now this might pinch a little.

Please try to be more
cushy with the tushy!

Well, it's your own fault... Ow!

Mr. Evil-experiment-maker.

Wow. That's a huge bandage.

Ooh! It's going to be long time

before sitting on
evil genius keister.

Jumba, why weren't
you affected by spike?

Spike?

Experiment .

I'm calling him spike.

Name is all too appropriate,

but to answer question,

even jumba's
superior alien bottom

is not immune to spikey spikes.

Then how come you're
not acting dopey like stitch?

♪ La la la la la la... ♪

Well, for because jumba
designed experiment

to take normally intelligent
planetary populations

and increase silly
goof factor by %

leaving only % clever.

So?

So even % jumba's brains

is plenty super genius. Ha ha!

Heh! Hi!

Huh? Grr! Unh!
Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh!

Oh, brother.

Tell me this is only temporary.

In hours, will be

back to having brain
like supercomputer.

Until then you
will have to settle

for brain of a chicken salad.

Ha ha ha! Shouldn't laugh.

But the ohanarama is tomorrow

and we need people to play.

Then little girl must compete.

I can't play against myrtle.

I'd just mess everything up.

What if I rebuilt stitch's
smarts from scratch?

does have accelerated
memory rebooting capabilities.

Good enough for
me. Come on, stitch.

Stitch!

Guuh!

So what do we do with this guy?

Just give me few minutes
to recalibrate eviliminator.

Oh, no, you don't!

But little girl is busy

un-unsmartifying experiment .

How is supposed
to be converted to good?

I'll use the Dr. Okra method.

It looks like we're all
here, so let's begin.

Using my extensive
earth expertise,

I've adapted Dr. Okra's
theories into my very own seminar

entitled "evil attitude
re-modification

and wayward anger extraction,"

or as I like to call
it, e.A.R.W.A.X.

Oh.

We'll begin with
level one: Sharing.

Fibber here will buzz if
you don't tell the truth,

so please speak
openly and honestly.

Does anyone have anything
they'd like to share with the group?

Anybody?

Well, I have
something, but, uh...

Oh, no, no, please,
go on, nosey.

You'll feel much better if
you just get it off your chest.

Ok.

His antenna thingy?
It isn't really green.

- Oh!
- What?

Wait a minute, you...

Nope! He's going
prematurely orange,

but dyes it green at
night so no one will notice.

No, I don't!

And that's not all! He
plucks his uni-brow...

That's enough! You're supposed
to share things about yourself,

not other people, especially me!

I'll share something
about myself.

I'm bored! I'm too
smart for this stuff!

Hey, Barney, if you're so smart,

how come we ended
up in the slammer?

Oh, can it, Clyde!

It's your fault we got
nabbed in the first place.

Why, you little
so-and-so, I'll mangle ya!

Ok. Let's just
skip aromatherapy.

Where'd that come from?

None of your business.

Now, aromatherapy,
interestingly enough,

is the study of smells,
aromas and odors... waah!

Grr!

Yeah, now this is more like it!

Yeah! This is better than
taco night in the big house.

No, no, no!

Senseless v*olence won't
leave to hugging and crying.

You're doing it all wrong! Waah!

Who threw that? That is
supposed to be a chair.

Ok, stitch, prepare for
the ultimate cram session.

Buggy.

Cowboy.

Pleakley!

Why you... aah!

Aah!

Whoo! I should be taking notes.

This is great stuff.

Waah!

Hee hee hee!

That's! Dr. Okra says we're
supposed to be hugging and crying,

we're gonna hug and cry!

Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth.

I don't think you're evil.

I think you're special.

You just need a big hug.

Unh! Yuck!

Aw!

I'm sorry, Clyde.

I'm sorry, Barney.

I'm not gonna cry, I'm not
gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry.

This is so beautiful.

I heard on TV that
listening to Mozart

makes you smart. If that's true,

listening to Elvis will
make you super smart.

You recognize him, don't you?

It's working! It's working!

Let the king's music heal you.

Ha ha ha! Unh!

I give up.

Stitch is just as big
a dodo-head as I am.

Myrtle's going to win
the ohanarama for sure.

Will this take much
longer, uh, Myrna?

I've got a : yoga
class tomorrow morning.

Focus, aunt Stacy. Just remember

to let me answer
all the questions.

I wish we had someone
smarter than me playing.

Don't you fret. I
stayed up all night

studying the difference
between argyle and gargoyle.

We're doomed.

Ok, we're down
to the final round

in this year's ohanarama.

Lilo, you won the coin
toss so the first question

for your ohana goes to you.

There is firm evidence

of aliens from other
planets visiting earth.

Oh! True!

I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

Edmonds? False!

Only weirdlo's lame
enough to believe in aliens.

The next question is
for lilo's uncle jumba.

At opposition, how far
is Jupiter from the earth:

million, million,

or million kilometers?

Ah-ha! Is tricksy
many choice question.

Thanks to subspace fold
in fabric of solar system,

actual distance to
massive planet is feet.

Um, no, that's incorrect.

Myrtle's ohana?

Aunt Stacy, you're wrong! No!

million kilometers.

That's correct.

What?! You dare
question my genius?!

I, who invented edible hair?

Forget it, uncle jumba.
We'll get the next one.

Maybe this would be a
good time to take a break.

I can't believe it.

This is the worst
day of my entire life.

Aah! Heh heh! Thanks
but no thanks, spike.

It's ok, lilo. He's turned good

thanks to e.A.R.W.A.X.

I know, but one stray quill

and he could make me even
unsmarter than I already am.

Hey, I know!

Spike, why don't you

go give myrtle a big sloppy hug?

Now, lilo, I'm no
expert on earth ethics...

Well, actually I am... and
that would be cheating.

Ohh. You're right.

If we're going to b*at the
edmonds we've got to do it

fair and square. Right, stitch?

Come back, shiny!

Come on, stitch.

No one's supposed
to be back here.

Moses hasn't asked a
science question in a while,

so I'll keep that page open.

Good. Just be ready
to tell me the answers.

Myrtle's cheating!

No wonder she seems so smart.

Poor Theresa. Having to
do sl*ve work for myrtle.

I bet she could use a hug.

Ha ha ha!

Aah! Get off me! Buh!

Come on, stitch.

I think we can
handle myrtle now.

Myrtle, this next question is
for you. Complete this phrase.

"For every action there is
an equal and opposite blank."

Oh, a science
question. That's easy.

For every action there's
and equal and opposite...

Bucket of monkeys!

Bucket of monkeys.

Ha ha ha!

That's not what I
meant! I meant...

I'm sorry. That's
incorrect. Lilo's team?

Considering
multidimensional pull

of deltarian
antimatter... Reaction!

That's correct.

Hmm. Is highly oversimplified.

That's not fair!

Oh, be quiet, Maureen.

My name is myrtle!

Maybe aunt Stacy and I should
answer some questions now, dear.

No! It won't happen again!

It better not!

Duh!

For lilo's aunt
pleakley, true or false:

Cotton t-shirts should be
washed with light colors only.

True! Hey, I'm smart!

Correct. And with only
points separating the teams

we go into the lightning round.

Can I have one player
from each ohana.

Maybe aunt Stacey should...

No! I'm going to play!

I should play. I'm
the earth expert here.

Well, yeah, but jumba has I.Q.

Larger than some galaxies.

No. Let me do it.

But little girl thought
not-so-friendly friend myrtle

was smarter than she.

Not anymore.

Weirdlo? I'm
playing against you?

This is gonna be
easier than I thought.

You don't scare me, myrtle.

Are you ready,
girls? First question.

Where is the eiffel
tower located?

In the bathroom.

In the bathroom.

Paris, France.

points for lilo.

What did Neil Armstrong say
when he landed on the moon?

Tastes like chicken.

"This is one small step for man,

one giant leap for mankind."

Correct! How
many feet in a mile?

Bundt cake!

, !

Who wrote Hamlet?

Chauncey pickles!
William Shakespeare!

And the score is tied.

I like pickles!

This is your final question.

What is the Hawaiian
word for "friendship?"

What kind of question is that?

I don't know anything
about friendship.

That's easy.Pilialoha!

That's correct.
Lilo's team wins.

Yay!

Ha ha!

Yay yay yay!

No fair! That was
a dumb question.

Just because you didn't know it

doesn't mean it
was dumb, myrtle.

Congratulations, lilo.

Your family wins the new
computer and encyclopedias on DVD.

I can't believe we lost!

This is the worst
day of my life!

Aw!

Stop hugging me! Ouch!

Hey, that hurt, you... uh, duh!

Ha ha ha!

Nosey, do you have something

you'd like to share
with the group?

My name is nosey,
and I'm... i'm...

I'm a gossip!

Who would've thought
spikey experiment

would make such good
hugging treatment practitioner.

Heh heh heh!

Wakata tooka tooka!

Sorry, stitch.

I donated the computer
to the community center.

I figure this family's
smart enough without it.

Heh! Little girl is
almost as smart

as evil genius. Ha ha ha!

Almost.
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